3 – Someone To Fall Back On

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, just the story.

6 WEEKS AGO

Arriving at Shinseikatsu feels like coming home for Sakura. The façade looks a bit different— the walls around the compound have been repainted and the front lawn doesn't looks as well kept as it did in her memories, but it still feels like visiting an old friend. The best part is that the sunflowers that lined the entrance pathwalk were already in bloom! She went there with Naruto almost every day after class to play with the other kids back in the day.

She doesn't know if it was because they were lonely, but she found it was easier to befriend them than her own classmates. They didn't care if she wasn't that good at sports or that she didn't have a lot of stamina. She thinks they were just glad to have someone new to play with.

Sakura stops in front of the glass doors of the lobby, wondering if she's really going to do this.

In the middle of fixing her button-up blouse that morning, like she's a doctor about to go in for her shift, Sakura realized that no, that's not what she is anymore. Technically, she's not even allowed to practice on her own. What if she makes another mistake?

What if she fails again?

But instead of dressing down and going back under her blankets, Sakura forced herself to set her doubts aside. Her mother's concerns resurfaced in her mind and the truth in them still stung. She needed to stop hiding in her bedroom before she starts to become one with the furniture. Besides, she'd already thought it through the night before. Multiple times. She'd cancelled out the cons with all the pros and she's already promised to be there.

So she shoved her stethoscope and her pocket diagnostic set and all her misgivings down into her bag.

Sakura hears a muffled cry of her name from behind the doors, pushing her out of her stupor.

"Hey Sakura! Punctual as ever."

"Good morning, Iruka-sensei." She's assaulted by the smell of cinnamon and peppermint when she enters the building and it's just one more thing that has her travelling down memory lane. It always smells like Christmas there to give the children a little more joy, and as a kid, it made her feel a little more relaxed, a little more hopeful whenever she was there.

Suisen loved Christmas… and she would have begged to have her hospital room smell like cinnamon and peppermint.

Sakura half listens to Iruka as he gives her a tour, showing her what's changed and what hasn't. The building the orphanage uses is a huge, traditional shinden-zukuri that they retrofitted into a home for children— a donation from one of the family that founded Konoha. They passed by the giant mess hall where they used to, and still do, serve ramen every day. She even got a glimpse of the small library where she used to hole up in whenever Naruto got to be too much. Her family didn't have a lot of money growing up so even the orphanage's meagre collection of fairytale books and encyclopedias was a treat for her.

"The kids who aren't at school are in the rec room or the playground right now," Iruka tells her. They stop by the open corridorthat leads to the spacious backyard and he points one of the kids out to her. "See the boy reading under Sosofu? That's Asahi."

Far from all of the rowdy kids playing and running around is a little kid sitting under the giant black pine that children generations past had nicknamed Sosofu. Something prods at Sakura's heart at the sight of the lonely looking boy— she'd been the same at that age. Being a sickly child had made her somewhat of a pariah to her classmates, and her bigger than average forehead didn't help her any.

Thank gods she had Naruto. He was even less liked than she was, mostly because no one was safe from his pranks, but at least she had someone. Sakura wonders if this little kid had someone she could rely on as well.

"What's his story sensei?"

"Ah. He came here with his older sister, Aoi. Their parents were killed in a car crash and they had no immediate relatives who could take them in. They've been with us for more than a year now."

"But why did you want me to check up on him?"

Iruka invites her to sit on the engawa with him. "He's never been a particularly healthy kid, but recently he's been having a lot of nose bleeds. We'd take him to the hospital but after his parents' accident, he's been traumatized of the place. It's not just him, his sister is too."

Sakura nods, she understands. During her psych and pedia rotations, she'd met a few kids who were admitted for an injury and developed a kind of PTSD afterwards. Even more so if they were admitted to the ICU. They took the disorientation and confusion, the pain and the treatment, and they ball all of those experiences together and then reach for it by reflex whenever they set foot inside the sterile environment.

But these kids… Sakura could just imagine them in the waiting area, alone, and praying their parents would be alright. And then to be told by a doctor they didn't know that their parents were gone.

Gods, that's what she did to Suisen's mother too, isn't it? She didn't have the guts to tell her that her baby girl had died; she just fled the moment she could and left it to her attending.

For a moment, she can't breathe. Sakura closes her eyes and battles the guilt that threatens to engulf her. She can hear Iruka-sensei's voice in the background of her consciousness but she can only focus on trying to take in as much air she can.

When she finally calms down, she notices that she has Iruka-sensei's hand in a death grip.

"Oh, gods, I'm so sorry." She drops his hand, hoping she didn't hurt him too much.

He gives her a knowing, if sad, smile. "It's alright. You didn't do anything wrong."

Sakura scoffs, it definitely doesn't feel that way to her. This kid, Asahi, lost both his parents and Suisen's mother lost her only child, and she's the one having a stupid panic attack. Could she even help him?

"We can just not do this, you know," Iruka tells her. "Maybe we can coax him into one of the smaller clinics nearby."

Sakura shakes her head. "No, it's fine. I'll do it, it'll be better that way." She doesn't have any right to be so upset.

"If you're sure." She can still see the apprehension in his eyes but she's thankful that he lets it go. "Do you want me to introduce you?"

"It's okay sensei. I can do it."

Because really, it is the least that she can do.

xxx

"Ugh, just tag someone else. She'll never be able to catch any of us."

"Why is Haruno even here? She can't run."

"Wait. Please." Sakura pants and tries to catch up, but everyone's gone on with the game, ignoring her completely. She squats on the dirty, dusty field. There's moisture running down her face and she's too busy trying not to faint to figure out if it's sweat or tears.

Why is it always like this? Who'd want to play with someone who gets dizzy and tired easily? She's such a liability.

"They're jealous of you, you know. That's why they're so mean to you."

Sakura looks up at the blonde boy playing in the swing set nearby. Jealous? Of what? Being sick all time? Having to go to the nurse's office for insulin shots once a day?

Yeah, what a wonderful life! Why couldn't he just leave her on her own?

"Don't fib, I know they don't like me."

"Well, yeah." Sakura feels like crying with the confirmation of her long held fears. "But that's because you're so smart."

"What?"

"Come on, you always get top scores and you know so many big words." Naruto sits on the other swing beside her. "And the girls wish they had pretty hair like yours, that's why they're always picking on your forehead."

"What does that have to— that didn't make a lot of sense Naruto…"

"You're right. I think my brain's gone all fuzzy." Naruto looks at her, his blue eyes a bit hesitant and a bit hopeful. "But since we're friends now, you can help me make sense of it right?"

"We're friends?" No one's really wanted to be friends with her before. Not for long anyway.

"Only if you want to. Since we both don't have any" The blonde sticks his hand out at her. "So do you want to?"

Sakura looks at the hand he's offering, except it's not just that is it? He's also giving her a chance at experiencing days where she won't have to worry about which table she could sit in at lunch. She can finally talk about her favorite books with someone she's not related to! Sure, Naruto was loud and he needs to be reminded to bathe every day, but he's a pretty nice kid isn't he?

Sakura stretches her hand out to meet his and she couldn't do it fast enough.

xxx

Obviously, it's been years since she was a snot-nosed brat who couldn't— wouldn't, do anything to defend herself from bullies. She's grown some backbone since then and she likes to think she's not as self-conscious anymore. But that time in her life it isn't so far behind her that she doesn't know what a little boy, looking longingly at the other playing kids, is thinking.

"Hey there. Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

Asahi startles, not having noticed her approaching. He nods mutely and makes space for her and despite his reticence, he's not shy about his curiosity. His eyes roam her face and his little eyebrows furrows in confusion when they focus on her hair.

"Yes, it's natural," Sakura tells him cheekily.

"I wasn't looking!"

"Sure you weren't," she offers him her hand, much like Naruto did to her. "I'm Sakura by the way."

He stares at her hand for a few seconds and takes it in his weak grip. "I'm Asahi."

They lapse into silence, with him pretending to go back to his book and her, trying to get a feel of how to talk to the kid. Some of the other children have noticed her presence but thankfully, they've decided to leave her and Asahi alone.

"You're not… a mommy looking for a kid to adopt are you?" Asahi asks her

"Oh! No, no, no. Absolutely not!" And then, thinking that maybe that was what he was hoping for, she apologizes. "I'm sorry. I'm just here to visit."

"It's okay. You look too young to be a mommy anyway." She blushes at the unintentional compliment. "Did you used to live here because you lost your mommy and daddy too?"

"No, but my best friend used to live here when we were kids. Naruto and I loved to climb old Sosofu here every day after school.

"You know Naruto-nii-san?" the boy stands up in excitement and Sakura has to catch him when he almost topples over. Orthostatic hypotension? And nosebleeds? She sets the boy down carefully and notes how pale he is.

"You okay there Asahi?"

"I'm sorry. I just… I get dizzy sometimes— but I'm fine, I swear!" The boy looks like he's about to burst into tears and Sakura knows that feeling well. He thinks he's being a burden to those around him and she doesn't know how to tell him that's not true. She's never been able to exorcise that from her psyche either.

What she can do though is commiserate.

"Don't worry about it, it used to happen to me when I was little too! It still does from time to time." Sakura tells him stories of what it was like to grow up having to monitor her blood sugar and count carbs before she could eat. How she faints sometimes if she doesn't eat enough at meals. She even tells him of that time in fourth grade when she felt dizzy while they were taking the class pictures and proceeded to throw up in front of everyone! Now, any classmate of hers who still has a copy of it could wonder why little Sakura had been horrendously photoshopped into the picture and they'd be reminded of her moment of extreme embarrassment.

She's glad to see him laughing, even at her expense, but Sakura doesn't forget what she came there for. Sprinkled in between her anecdotes are questions about Asahi's general health and some family medical history if he could remember it. She'll have to ask Iruka-sensei more details, but it looks like the boy might have iron deficiency anemia. It would be a true waste of her education if she throws around a diagnosis like that without any tests first, of course.

But at least she has a place to start.

xxx

"You'll still have to bring him to a hospital eventually Iruka-sensei. I can't plan a treatment for him… and he needs to have some tests done so we can be sure."

"But he's going to be okay?" Iruka walks her out of the lobby. "If it is what you think it is?"

A careless, optimistic answer almost leaves Sakura's mouth but the memory of Suisen's still body on the operating table flashes through her mind. Who is she to give out happy assurance like that?

"It is manageable, but there can be complications. It'll be best if he can be seen by a doctor immediately…" Sakura casts about for a change of topic. "Is Chiyo-baa-sama not here anymore?"

Chiyo had been the elderly nurse that took care of the kids in the orphanage back when Sakura and Naruto were kids. Seeing how knowledgeable and indispensable she was is one of the reasons she wanted to become a doctor in the first place. Truth be told, she's glad not to have seen her during her visit; she wouldn't have had the heart to truthfully answer the questions Chiyo would have asked.

"No, she retired last year and went to live with her grandson in Ame. We haven't found anyone to replace her yet."

A strong gust of wind blows by them, carrying with it the subtle scent of sunflowers.

"I'd ask you if you could volunteer but you're probably still busy with your internship right?" Iruka sheepishly asks. "Or are you on your residency now?"

Panic kick starts Sakura's heart. Should she finally tell Iruka the truth or—

"Holy fuck, is that you Sakura-chan!"

Sakura's mind blanks at the sight of blonde hair, blue eyes, and whiskered cheeks bounding towards her. And if she thought she was panicked before, her heart feels like it goes into overdrive when Naruto barrel rushes her.

So much so that she almost misses the strangely familiar black haired companion Naruto brought with him.

A/N: So where are we here so far, you think? I'll try to update once a week, and I'm revising everything I've written so far, as I go. It's exhausting, kind of maddening.

Anyway, might set up shop on Ao3 soon. I've heard disturbing things about FFnet. Tell me what you think about it so far!