A/N: Thank you so, so, so, so much for the reviews, follows, and likes (and for not throwing your phones down in anger at the lack of Bella/Jasper interaction in the last chapter!), but especially your reviews!
It helps me to know areas should be expanded upon, what people think will happen, and what they love, you know? I always thought authors were being silly about reviews helping them to crank out another chapter, but it's true! It reminds me that people are reading and enjoying it. Not saying you have to, but they're so lovely to read!
Without further ado:
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Jasper POV
Jasper rose silently from the sea and carefully picked his way across the rocks towards land. Crabs scuttled out of his way, instinctively avoiding the predator. Pools of water left by the receding tide glimmered in the light of the moon, the reflection reminding him instantly of Bella.
We really need to wrap this up, Jasper thought as he was hit with another desperate urge to see her again.
"Dude," Emmett called out as he sloshed carelessly among the tide pools, much to the distress of its inhabitants. "This is the millionth island we've checked," he exaggerated, "and I don't smell them anywhere. I'm soaked, I'm tired in the 'this really fucking sucks,' sense, and I miss Rosie. When can we head back?"
Jasper weighed his options. They had covered Vancouver Island, as well as the smaller islands that peppered the Strait of Georgia, and all the way up through the Queen Charlotte sound. They had even passed a city known as Bella Bella, on the eastern coast of Campbell Island. Upon seeing the town's signage, Jasper felt a sort of tightening in his chest, as though something was pulling him back to Forks, back to Bella herself.
Trying his best to shake off the feeling, he and his brother had continued along to the Queen Charlotte Islands, hoping to notice any disruption below the surface that marked the fleeing vampire's progress; a task that had also proven to be fruitless. If the vampire had swum all the way to Russia, by the time he and Emmett got there, despite Jasper's strong tracking abilities, the scent would likely be long gone, blown away and buried beneath layers of snow and ice.
Not to mention it's still possible the vampire was picked up by boat, Jasper thought darkly of the complexities and nearly endless variables surrounding their mission.
"I mean, we called Eleazar," Emmett reminded his brother. "And he said that he and the rest of the Denali's would keep a nose out for any vampire activity on their runs and we're nearly at their territory lines now. Emmett paused for a moment, thinking. "Surprised we haven't had the displeasure of coming across Eddie this far north, actually."
Jasper sighed deeply through his nose, signaling to Emmett that he had come to a decision. "We go back," was all he said in response. With his decision made, the two turned back and the tightness that had gripped his chest with every mile put between himself and Bella abated with the movement.
I miss her, he admitted silently. He tried to convince himself he was just imagining a warm sensation spreading throughout his body at the thought of holding her safe in his arms once more and turned his thoughts back to the journey home.
The islands that had taken hours to search were left behind in a matter of minutes, with just the water between Vancouver Island and a beach located between Clallam Bay and Port Angeles to cross. The distance was far too great to clear in a jump, unfortunately.
"Race ya!" Emmett goaded his brother with a grin as he launched his body from the beach, vaulting into the night sky above. He entered the water headfirst with such a soft plop, that, had Jasper not witnessed it for himself, he would not have believed such grace possible for the enormous vampire.
Jasper wound his body up, and dashing the remaining yards along the coast, jumped off exactly where Emmett had. To his satisfaction, he sliced through the water silently and at a much farther distance between the two shores than Emmett had. His sensitive hearing was dulled by water that clogged his ears, and he knew that neither he nor Emmett could tell who was ahead.
Using the rocks along the bottom as leverage to propel off of Jasper made short work of the Strait of Juan de Fuca, mind filled with memories of his and Bella's time at Lake Crescent. As though thinking of her had renewed his vigor, Jasper cleared the distance in record time and waited impatiently on the beach for Emmett. The very instant Emmett's head broke water and met Jasper's eyes to confirm they had both made it, Jasper took off through the woods, aiming himself straight for Bella.
Emmett's strength allowed him to keep pace, albeit from a distance. He called out to Jasper then, "Hey, don't you think we should go home and shower first, or did you wish to greet Bella smelling like a rotting crab carcass?"
The suggestion sounded like a good idea. Especially considering how close I'd like to get to my– his thought cut off abruptly, as he tried to determine what exactly Bella was to him. Sliding along the dirt and bracken as he changed direction, Jasper dashed home, once again making record time.
Alice stood in the living room, waiting for someone to return with an update, but was not spared so much as a glance from Jasper before he was in his bathroom. He turned the water on and stripped out of his cold, damp clothes, tearing his jeans as he went. Running shampoo through his hair, he diverted enough attention to listen for Emmett's arrival.
Jasper was already scrubbing his body, quickly but thoroughly by the time Emmett came home and listened as his brother filled Alice in on their lack of discovery. Their conversation was followed by Alice leaving in a frustrated huff, setting off for Alaska to join the Denali's and Edward in monitoring the northern lands.
That's right, Alice hates Alaska, Jasper thought with a smile.
Jasper rinsed his body taking just a few seconds to enjoy the blissful heat that sprayed down around him, preoccupied once more with thoughts of Bella.
Gods above, she's perfect. The thought took Jasper by surprise, but it was true. She's kind, she's wise, she's intelligent, she's beautiful, she's just– she's everything I've ever wanted and more. His chest pulled him once more in the direction of her home.
She's everything that I've spent my existence waiting for, the revelation hit him like a ton of bricks.
His frantic movements ceased while he tried to wrap his head around the concept. It can't be. It has to be. It can't be. It has to be. But he couldn't be sure, not here, not when she was there.
His mind waged a war while his body resumed hyper-speed, spurred on by the mere thought of being near her and by the insistent tugging that was practically dragging him towards the front door.
Jasper was dressed and outside in moments, obeying the demands of the pull. Racing through the woods to get to her he glanced at his watch to see that it was 11:15. Great, I'm late, to see my– he didn't let himself finish the thought, however, as her home was beginning to come into view between the trees.
He nearly stopped at the edge of the woods to wait for her as he usually did, but the pull was having none of that tonight. He saw her then, leaning halfway out her window, her alabaster skin lit by the moonlight and every inch of her begging to be covered with kisses. If he had had a heart, it would have skipped a beat or five. As it was, the only sound of a stuttering heart came from Bella as she took a step back so he could enter her bedroom.
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Bella POV
Jasper's lips crashed against hers, flooding Bella with relief as the growing tension in her body finally eased. Without conscious thought or effort, her legs left the ground and wrapped around his waist. Jasper's arms moved fluidly with her, reaching to support her weight by gripping her rear tightly.
Bella wound her arms around him, searching and assessing wherever she could touch to reassure herself that her mate had not been harmed. Coherency fought to rise to the surface of her frantic mind but was suppressed by an instinctual need to feel him.
Jasper pulled his head back and stared intently into her eyes, exploring their depths, his own burning with need at what he found. Lips hovering just above hers, Jasper paused and breathed the promise of a kiss softly against her swollen lips, teasing the shifter until she was gasping. Bella's pulse galloped erratically as blood surged to her head, causing a painfully warm throbbing in her lips by the time Jasper met them with his own wintery kiss.
It was a clashing battle of fire and ice, one that every cell in her body begged would never end. The feelings of warmth she experienced that afternoon returned as a searing heat inside of her. A growing dampness spread between her legs, eliciting a growl of arousal from Jasper. His response reverberated through her chest, deep down inside, causing the slick warmth to spread exponentially as her need grew.
Bella's breathing hitched as, while previously unfamiliar with this level of arousal, she realized what was happening to her. Shaking with the effort, Jasper pulled his face back and carefully sat the two of them down on the edge of her bed. Bella's kept her legs wrapped around his waist, unwilling to let loose the hold she had on him.
The two sat that way for minutes, foreheads pressed together, giving time for Bella's breathing to return to normal as each inhaled the scent of the other deeply into their lungs.
Bella broke away first, twining her hands into his moonlit silver and gold locks and tucked her face into the crook of his neck. Mirroring his actions from earlier in the day, she licked and sucked a trail to just below his ear, where she paused to whisper firmly, "You're mine." Much to her enjoyment, she felt him twitch through his pants.
"I know," he moaned in response, his hands made their way to her hips to press her warmth to his jeans and his cool skin underneath them. "I know."
Bella's heart pounded strongly in her chest, any lingering tightness slowly fading and replaced with deep and resounding certainty. She pulled back to examine her mate's face. "Do you?" Bella asked slowly, wondering if he had figured it out while away.
"I do," he whispered, his eyes shuttering closed as a fresh wave of calm and bliss crashed over him. "I know," Jasper repeated himself.
"Good," Bella murmured happily before continuing her path along his neck. "It would be really awkward, after all," she kissed and ran her teeth along the edge of his jaw. "If I had to explain to you that I'm your mate," Bella followed that up with a kiss on his cheek. "And that Alice couldn't have known because I'm her blind spot," she finished planting one final kiss on his waiting lips.
"Totally awkward," Jasper jokingly agreed. "Thank goodness I figured it out so you didn't have to do that." He shifted her weight off of his arms and more fully to his thighs so could cup her face. The slight change of position inadvertently spread Bella's legs farther apart, the thin fabric of her leggings doing little to prevent her from feeling his thick manhood wedged between her legs.
She gasped in surprise at the pleasure she found there and slowly explored the sensation, instinctively rocking her hips back and forth. Jasper drew a ragged breath and put his hands back to her hips. Unsure whether he had moved to encourage her or stop her, she remembered that she was in unknown territory and ceased her movements to bring them both back from the edge.
Jasper's normally soft amber eyes gleamed like pitch, revealing his longing to be buried deep inside of her. "You are truly," he spoke in a quietly rasping voice, "the most wonderful being I've ever met." His eyes closed and his forehead once again met hers. "I will do my best to protect you, my mate, and make sure you know just how much you mean to me each and every day of your life."
Tears welled in Bella's eyes as the enormity of his love enveloped her entirely. Without looking up, her voice cracking, she whispered in turn, "And I will do no less for you, my mate."
Their lips met once more and moved slowly in tandem, the weight of their vows hanging heavily in the air until a breeze snaked through the window and swirled their words into the night.
Bella felt a shifting, deep inside of her chest, as though the last piece of some metaphorical puzzle had finally settled into place.
"Well, now, darlin'," Jasper spoke slowly, his drawl slipping out in his relaxed state. "I do believe we just–,"
"Sealed it with a kiss," Bella finished quietly.
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Jasper's POV
Bella finally loosened the tight grip her legs had around Jasper's waist, much to his disappointment.
"Time to shift?" he finally asked, reveling in the way his cool breath danced along her heated skin, bringing her earthy, luscious scent back to his nose.
"Just about, I think," she answered happily. It doesn't feel as urgent tonight." Bella stood and bent at the waist to stretch her legs. "Since it's the last one for a few weeks, I mean. I feel more relaxed."
Jasper watched the sculpted legs of his mate bend this way and that, trying to keep his thoughts from drifting to the possibilities her flexibility presented them.
Bella held her final pose on her bedroom rug. The stance had Bella on all fours, back deeply curved, her shoulders dipping low while she pushed slowly forward with her arms and tilted her head back. She moaned in an unintentionally seductive manner and Jasper's jeans grew tight with the sound.
"Oh! Did you make sure Jess, Ang, and my dad are sleeping? And where is Rosalie?" Bella asked, frozen with embarrassment.
"Rosalie left when she heard me in the woods. I'm guessing she and Emmett needed some alone time," Jasper answered with a grimace, his arousal fading with the mention of Bella's father, friends, and his sister.
"Ah. Alone time," Bella's cheeks flushed beautifully, thinking of their own alone time, Jasper assumed.
"Yes, something like our time, I'd imagine."
"Is it like that for all mates? Is it always so–," Bella searched for the words.
"Intense?" Jasper asked raising one brow speculatively.
"Yes," Bella answered with a nod.
"No, it isn't like that for all mates. Many vampires will take mates, and build strong bonds, but not like this," Jasper paused before continuing. "You obviously aren't obligated to be with me, but we're–," he trailed off, nervous about how Bella would take the news.
"What?" she asked, curiosity and excitement gleaming in her eyes.
"Well, we're what would be considered true mates, darlin'." The anxiety that gripped him at that moment, that she may not want to have a bond so strong this early in their relationship washed over him.
Bella paused, thinking for a moment, but of course, always one to surprise him, she took the news in stride. She finally asked, "Are Rose and Emmett true mates?"
Fears dissipating, Jasper chuckled and said, "Spending the last 57 years with them has left me no doubt of that."
"I take it that it has been an," Bella paused awkwardly to find her words, "an active, time?"
"Quite so," Jasper responded with a slight grimace. "They've been very gently kicked out by Esme and the rest of the family, more than once, to find a more private residence."
Bella giggled at the tale, then blushed. "So, eventually– we might be like that?"
"We will be however we will be, when and in whichever way will be right for us," Jasper answered with a smile. "Personally, I don't think they'd have anything on us," he finished with a wink.
Bella's blush deepened and she ducked her head in embarrassment. The moonlight shimmered in her hair, allowing tones of green, teal, and blue to catch his attention.
"I thought I had imagined the changes in your hair," he murmured leaning forward to catch a lock and examine it, brushing her cheek lightly with his movement.
She grinned and closed her eyes peacefully at the contact. "Rosalie did it," Bella told him happily. "She's pretty good with hair. She knew what I wanted before I did."
"Yes, she's pretty good," his voice suddenly thick with emotion.
Bella glanced up, her face mildly confused, so he continued, "Do you know what color this is, Bella?"
"Oh, I'm well aware what inspired Rose to give me these colors," Bella's face resumed its usual lovely innocence as she rested her chin on her hands and closed her eyes. "I think she figured I liked the colors since I have a few downstairs decorating the living room - it's blue jasper," she answered happily.
Jasper swore the silent and unmoving heart in his chest had swollen with what he felt for Bella.
"The sleepers," she asked calmly, cracking one eye open to study him.
With an effort, Jasper finally turned his attention to the others in the house as he sent an intense, drowsy calm their way. Jasper wrinkled his face in confusion. "Something is weird."
"Weird how?" Bella tensed, flinging her senses outward to detect any changes but found none.
"Nothing dangerous," he reassured her. "But I doubled Charlie up on his quality of sleep, Angela as well. Jessica, however, is resisting."
"Resisting how?" Bella asked, shocked that her friend might possess some sort of gift.
"It's like–," Jasper's face tightened in concentration. "It's weird because I've encountered this before, but in an older vampire. I just assumed his mind was shielded or protected–," Jasper trailed off, still trying to send Jessica into a deep sleep.
"There's some sort of barrier, but it isn't solid," Jasper tried to explain again. "It feels like a maze, except the feelings I'm trying to send won't fit through the hole at the start. It's like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. I'm trying to reshape the energy but it's taking an immense effort and moving very slowly."
Bella gasped with her realization. "Jasper! I think it's because Jess is Autistic!"
Jasper opened his eyes quickly. "That makes so much sense," relief flooding his face. "I've always gotten really odd readings from her."
"Odd, how?" Bella asked curiously.
"Well, I pick up that she feels so much and has all of this want to voice it. The day you talked about how hard it was for you after Renee passed, for instance," Jasper found an example. "I could feel how badly she wanted to try to comfort you, how much it hurt her that you were hurting. You had just met, and she had this desire to help you, but somewhere between her brain and her mouth, the words were lost."
"That must be so frustrating for her," Bella whispered, her heart going out to her friend. "I wonder if I can do anything to help."
"I think if you want to better understand her, you need to be prepared to give her time to process things and answer you in whatever way works best for her," Jasper suggested. "I would imagine that her mind is like this all the time, which means thatshe is constantly exerting effort to reshape the information she's receiving to fit that hole. From there, the information must navigate the maze, and if I'm not mistaken, reshape once more at the end before being sorted where it needs to go. That's where I'm stuck," he muttered.
Bella waited silently for Jasper to make progress.
"And now," Jasper whispered quietly, "I've reshaped again and have finally passed through what I'm considering the antechamber because I'm finding myself in a much larger and more complex place." He paused again, feeling out the space.
"It's very overwhelming, actually. I have no idea where to put all of this sleep, but I feel her synapses firing rapidly, almost as though she were awake, to find a spot for it. I think that's a good sign and that I'll be able to let go soon."
"Wow," Bella responded in awe. "That's so intense."
"Indeed. It's a very interesting place, I'll give you that. It doesn't make sense to me, but I can tell it's perfectly suited for her. I wish there were a way I could ask her for permission to explore sometime."
"Why not ask her?" Bella suggested.
"Oh, yes," Jasper responded dryly, "that'll go over well."
"I mean," Bella objected, "it might. Jess is an accepting and open person, despite the clinical stereotype of mental rigidity. You could tell her you're really good at picking up on feelings, like a psychic or something."
Jasper grinned. "I love when medical professionals are proven wrong. Also, side-note, I'm relatively certain now that the vampire I mentioned before is autistic as well."
Bella couldn't keep the amusement out of her voice, "Oh? Outside of the similar barrier, what makes you think that?"
"Well, he's a bit of a quiet fellow," Jasper started slowly, his thoughts drifting to his friend. "Keeps to himself and doesn't always seem to know what to do around others of our kind. Most of us think he just has anxiety, but after feeling Jessica's mind tonight, I am finding many similarities in the structure of their brains and the way their feelings correlate to what they express with speech."
"That's extremely interesting," Bella grinned at the thought. "Maybe they could meet sometime."
At that Jasper rolled his eyes jokingly. "We do try to keep humans away from vampires, remember?"
Bella laughed in response and stood, reaching her arms high above her head to stretch them as well. "And you're doing such a great job of that." She bent once more at the waist to stretch her legs further. "Done soon?" she asked softly.
"Nearly," Jasper whispered, his concentration back on Jessica. "her brain almost has it. It's very intricate– there's a spot for everything, every single thing she has ever seen, heard, experienced. I think it all gets sorted for processing and storage. I can feel the echoes of emotions each area contains. I am beginning to wonder if there's an end to it, or if she just keeps making new places as needed. That would be incredibly overwhelming."
Jasper paused when he felt Jessica's brain retrieve the sleep from where he had pushed it. "Since this sleep isn't hers, and she's never encountered it, her mind had to make a new space to put it. I wonder if I could make her sleep more easily in the future, now that I know how to shape it, and her brain knows where it should go," Jasper mused.
"I love it when you talk nerdy to me," Bella murmured with a smile before kissing his cheek lightly.
Jasper exhaled, almost sounding tired. "And she's down for the night," he confirmed.
"Good," Bella answered with a sly grin. "Because it's time for me to get naked. Be a good boy and wait for me outside?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Jasper answered with a mocking salute.
After he had left through the window, Bella removed each article of clothing and grabbed a pair of flats from her closet. She set her shoes on her shirt and rolled it up, then tied her leggings around them. Approaching the window, Bella looked out to see Jasper waiting, face tilted up expectantly. She leaned forward teasingly, revealing her bare shoulders only. With a cheeky grin, she tossed the bundle out the window.
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Bella POV
Bella dashed through the woods as she and her mate raced for their clearing. She felt the strain of her exertion and relished in the release it gave her. Nearing their destination, she drew in the cold night air and noted that neither Emmett or Rosalie were waiting for them. Anxiety washed over her in a wave, and upon nearing the trees, she slowed her pace, moving more cautiously to investigate.
"Don't worry," Jasper spoke from just behind her where he had been following her. "I think they might still be a little busy. If something were wrong, I'd know."
Bella whipped around and lowered her shoulders and head, indicating she wished to play, whether they were here or not. Jasper obliged, and the two chased each other in circles for an hour. Much to her amusement, she dodged him successfully their first few rounds. Quite suddenly, however, she found herself on her back and pinned underneath Jasper's body.
Son of a bitch! He lured me into a false sense of security!
Bella growled menacingly for a second, then huffed a deep breath into his face.
"Are you pouting?" Jasper asked her then, an amused grin spreading across his face. A moment after examining hers, however, Jasper's eyes darkened, and his face grew still. He released her and pulled away, sliding up into a seated position.
Bella watched on in silence while he picked a small stalk of wild oats and pulled slowly at the chaff. It was such a human thing to do that she sat up as well and nudged her face into his shoulder.
"Sorry, darlin', didn't mean to worry you," Jasper offered in answer. "I was looking at you, trapped like that, and for a moment I–," Jasper closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "It made me think of how Edward may have had you or come close to doing."
His hands were shaking with anger, and Bella realized he had been picking at the weed to keep them busy, and his focus a little less on how he felt about the attack. After some time, he closed his eyes and let out a slow breath, resuming control of himself.
"I was wondering," Jasper spoke slowly, flicking his eyes up to her face. "If you would consider training with Rosalie, Emmett, and me."
Bella's heart filled with a tenderness that made her ache to be able to speak to him. Instead, she bobbed her head up and down and nudged him happily once more in confirmation. Getting antsy that she couldn't speak with him directly, Bella walked over to the edge of the clearing to her pile of clothes where Jasper had set them down. Winking at him after she picked up the bundle gently with her teeth, the shifter set off to find a little privacy for her change.
A few minutes had passed when she emerged and took a seat next to her mate, knees jostling his. "Of course I'll train!" Bella exploded with a grin. "That sounds like a really good idea, actually."
Jasper smiled then, relieved. "I'm glad to hear it. You're quite strong for a human, but training even a little will give you an edge, you know?"
"Oh, totally," she answered. "I think I might actually ask Jess if she'd be cool if I lifted with her and stuff."
"That would be great," Jasper agreed happily. "I'm really glad you'll be doing more things with your friends, Bella."
"Me too," Bella agreed with a smile. "I didn't know how much I was missing friends, but they were all imperative today."
"Today," Jasper started and trailed off.
"Yeah, today. Big day."
"That it was," he answered slowly.
"Where would you like to start?" she asked, letting him decide if they would discuss the day chronologically or by level of importance.
"Creep One and Creep Two would be a good start I think," Jasper answered, annoyance seeping into his voice. "I don't know what they wanted, but I don't like how narrowly you and Rosalie missed them."
"I don't like it either," Bella replied. "Rosalie told you we both felt like we had to?"
"She did," Jasper confirmed. "I know the feeling you're talking about, Bella. It's the feeling that has led me around for my entire second existence."
Bella raised her eyebrows in response.
"I mean it. Every battle, every skirmish," Jasper paused. "It's the feeling that led me to Alice, to the Cullens'." He plucked another wild oat to play with. "It's what led me to you," he finished softly. "I don't know if it's intuition, or something else."
"I believe you," Bella answered, reaching out her hand to still his. She gripped Jasper's hand and he allowed the weed to fall to squeeze hers in return. "So," she started, "our little problems?"
Jasper sighed and let his shoulders fall. "We haven't been able to locate the one that Alice lost. Emmett and I checked 87 separate islands, and swam through channels and inlets, looking for any sign or scent," he answered, sounding drained. "There's no telling at this point and I keep wondering if I missed something."
Shocked at the efforts the two had exerted, she spoke in a whisper, "You don't seem like that kind that would have missed anything." Bella rested her head against his shoulder.
"I'm not," Jasper answered simply, then shifted her head so he could wrap his arm around her and hold her close. "I needed to exhaust every possibility that they were still around somewhere close," he admitted. "I don't feel good, not knowing."
"Neither do I," Bella whispered softly. "I don't like that they ran when they knew they were being pursued, and I don't like that, though they were separated, they both seemingly disappeared. Either there are others involved, or they both got lucky in their escapes."
"That is odd," Jasper agreed, furrowing his brows in confusion. "I've tried to think of the possibilities, but the thought that they weren't working alone seems the most plausible, which I'm very much not thrilled about."
Bella chewed her lip in thought before asking, "What now?"
"I'm not entirely certain," Jasper responded slowly. "I plan on calling around to my connections, getting the word out, and checking for any other suspicious encounters."
"What," Bella snorted at the thought of the vampiric underground communication. "Like some sort of vampy-APB?"
Jasper rolled his eyes, a grin finally stealing over his face. "You are ridiculous, Miss Swan. Has anyone ever told you that?"
"Oh, least one person, I'm fairly certain," she answered with a grin. "So, for now, we just wait?"
"For now, we wait," Jasper confirmed. "I know it isn't the easiest of strategies, but we'd risk too much if we spread out to cover more ground, especially if their goal is to separate us. We need to stick together and gather intel however we can."
"Sounds smart, really."
"Glad you can agree, darlin'," he smiled and squeezed her hand reassuringly the way she had for him. "Anything else you wanted to talk about?" Jasper asked, allowing Bella the opportunity to bring up any thoughts she had from her emotional afternoon.
"Obviously," Bella laughed with embarrassment. "I think that what was worrying me, isn't what you think it is."
"Care to enlighten me?" Jasper asked with a hesitant smile.
Bella took a deep breath and sighed. "It doesn't bother me that you've had partners, Jasper. I mean, I know what we have." She paused to collect her thoughts. "There's this, thing. I've felt it since the first day I met you, even if I didn't know what it was," Bella offered to reassure him of her feelings. "The clicking, this rightness, but today I felt–," her cheeks reddened with embarrassment as her voice faltered.
Jasper raised one cool hand to her face and stroked his thumb along her cheek. "Whatever it is, it's okay, Bella."
"I know," she whispered back. "It's just that I'm just not as experienced as you are," Bella finished in a rush and flicked her eyes to Jasper's face to watch as comprehension dawned on him.
"I'm so sorry you're feeling like that's a problem, Bella," he answered hoarsely. "I would never pressure you to do anything you aren't ready to do."
Bella nodded slightly, then turned her face back into his hand. "I know that, I do," she said slowly. "It just, briefly, made me feel a little inadequate, or maybe that I somehow don't match up with you."
Jasper growled lowly in his chest and turned more fully to face her. "You are so very far from inadequate, Isabella Swan." He raised his hands to cup her face, tilting her chin upwards towards his own. "You are my mate, and you are so much more than enough."
Bella's eyes filled with tears for the love and acceptance that her mate was so easily sharing. She turned her face to kiss the palm of one hand, then relaxed in his grip once more. He kissed her forehead in response and ran one thumb down her cheek as he let his hands fall from her face, satisfied that she was reassured.
"There is one thing I'd like to bring up, if it's alright with you, darlin'?" he asked in a gentle tone.
"Please, do."
"Well, one thing I've been a little nervous for the last, oh," Jasper glanced at his watch, "two hours this evening. I'm wondering how you're taking to the thought of us being true mates?"
Surprised he could even ask such a thing, Bella inhaled sharply. "Jasper, I'm more than happy that I'm your mate. I'm thrilled that I'm your mate!"
"It doesn't bother you that you haven't gotten to," Jasper looked briefly embarrassed by his thoughts, "experience more with human men?"
Bella raised her eyebrow. "So, you're telling me that while I was afraid my lack of experience would be a turn-off, you were worried of the exact opposite, that my bond to you would be a turn-off for me because I haven't had a chance to, quite literally, fuck around?" Bella finished with a laugh.
"I mean, I understand that this isn't normally how things are done," Bella amended. "I'm not normal; you're not normal. But this," she gestured back and forth between the two of them, "it's just–, it is what it is," Bella's felt that her words had failed her, so she tried again. "I mean, that I'm your mate is a given, like how I'm going to keep breathing even though I'm not thinking about it. We exist, we are this thing, the two of us, together."
A relieved expression softened the vampire's face, and for a few moments, he said nothing and simply enjoyed his mate's presence.
Bella stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back on her forearms, to prop herself up to gaze at the night sky. "So, we're good?" she asked softly, flicking her eyes to his face and nudging his leg with her own once more.
"We're very good, Bella," Jasper answered with a smile that lit up his face. He laid back in the grass, the stars reflecting in the darkened depths of his eyes, and extended an arm for her to curl into.
She accepted his offer and the two of them watched as the stars drifted by, a sort of rightness settling strongly into her bones.
This is home.
/ * \ / * \ / * \ / * \ / * \ / * \ / * \
A/N #2: I sincerely hope that my having taken a chance to explain the autistic brain (at least mine, anyway), isn't too unwelcome. There's a devastatingly high amount of misinformation about autistic people still being circulated and having this opportunity is something that I really enjoy exploring in my writing.
I AM sorry it dragged on for a while, though? I obviously have a lot say about autism *shrug*