A/N: Hey guys! I woke up this morning and emerged from my depressive slump to down half a bottle of wine and create an angsty 3,000+ story. Consider this a late holiday present from me to you. I hope everyone has had (or is still having) a safe and healthy holiday season. Please leave a review!
Also, it is important that you have read Do You Promise before reading this story!
They say that the days between Christmas and New Year's Eve are one giant blur. Nobody knows what the date is and everyone is just kind of floating while eating leftovers for dinner. Some people attribute this lack of grounding to a post-holiday depression. The festivities are gone, the anticipation over, and suddenly the human body is left with a drastic drop in serotonin.
Peter never understood this feeling. The days after Christmas never felt like they bled into each other because May and Ben had always kept the festive feelings going well into the New Year.
Then it was just May.
Now it was no one.
Peter genuinely couldn't tell you what day it was, although, he was fairly certain it was still
December.
Tony had tried to make this a great Christmas, he really had. Peter had also tried to not ruin this day for the Stark family, but he saw the worried looks that Pepper and Tony threw each other across the dinner table and he noticed that Morgan had stopped asking him to play with her new dollhouse.
Peter felt like he was drowning.
Rolling over in bed, Peter grabbed his phone off the nightstand and checked the time. It was a little past nine in the morning. Tony had been coming in and dragging Peter out of bed every day at noon to make sure he at least ate something and got a few hours of human interaction.
Today though, Peter decided he was going to visit Ned. His best friend had physical therapy at this time every day, trying to get his legs to start working again. At first, Peter had been apprehensive about joining him for these sessions. He hadn't known whether his friend would appreciate an audience while he pushed his body to its new limits. However, Ned had practically begged Peter to be with him when he brought it up.
"My parents look like they're going to cry every time they sit on my sessions so I had the doctor tell them that they couldn't be there with me anymore but it's boring doing all these exercises with just Dr. Cho for company and the session is like an hour and a half and -"
"Okay! I'll come sit with you." Peter had cut him off with a laugh.
Ned smiled so hard his eyes crinkled. "Thanks man, you're the best."
The pair then lapsed into a companionable silence. Peter hadn't told Ned about May's passing, but he figured somebody had because he had stopped asking Peter for updates on his aunt.
Peter threw a sweatshirt on over his pajama shirt, brushed his teeth, and stuffed his feet into some shoes before exiting his room and heading towards the elevator. It was a quick trip down to the medbay and Peter had almost made it to Ned's PT room when he ran into Bruce.
"Good morning, Peter. Glad to see you up and moving this early. How's the knee?" Bruce asked, tucking a couple of files under his arms.
"Good morning. It's good, feels like new." Peter said, bending his leg a couple of times to show the doctor.
Bruce smiled and patted Peter's shoulder, "Visiting Ned?"
Peter nodded and the two bid each other goodbye before going their separate ways. Peter slipped into Ned's PT room and sat in a chair that was pushed against the wall. Ned was currently laying on a bed in the center of the room while Dr. Cho massaged the calf muscle on his left leg and slowly bent it up towards his chest. Both of them turned to look at Peter when he entered and bid him good morning before focusing back at the task at hand. Peter settled down into his chair and watched as Ned shakily tried to bend his own leg without Helen's assistance.
As Ned continued to work his legs, Peter couldn't help but let his mind drift back to Christmas day.
It had been seven in the morning when Morgan came bounding into his room and hopped up onto his bed. Peter honestly hadn't been sleeping but he pretended to be when Morgan sat on his chest and shook his shoulders.
"Petey! Wake up! Santa came and he ate all our cookies and our stockings are stuffing full right now and there are so many presents! Wake up!" Morgan practically shouted in excitement.
"Morgan, I said wake Peter up nicely not scream in his face. I can return your presents to the North Pole you know." Pepper, ever the diplomat, said from the doorway.
"I'm sorry Peter. Will you please wake up?" Morgan said, shifting down to kiss him on the forehead.
Peter suddenly opened his eyes which caused Morgan to giggle.
"Well, since you asked so nicely…" Peter trailed off with a smirk.
Morgan gave a little cheer as she slid off Peter's bed and ran past her mom to the living room.
"Don't start opening anything until your Dad and Peter get in there!" Pepper shouted down the hall before turning back to Peter, "Merry Christmas, Peter."
"Merry Christmas, Pepper." Peter said, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
After Peter had put on a pair of socks and brushed his teeth, he made his way to the living room. The presents had been separated into four piles and Morgan was eagerly waiting to dump her stocking out onto the floor. Pepper was sitting in the armchair near her, gently telling her to wait. There were two piles of presents near the couch, presumably for him and Tony. Said man was in the kitchen, putting together a mug of coffee. Morgan looked up at Peter and pointed to the end of the couch closest to her.
"That's where you sit Petey and here," she said, brandishing his stocking at him, "this one is yours."
Peter thanked her as he sat down and waited for Tony to get settled into the couch next to him.
"Good morning kiddo." Tony said, smiling over his cup of coffee.
Peter smiled back and watched with amusement as Morgan lost all patience and proceeded to turn her stocking over at long last.
They spent the next hour and a half opening presents and helping Morgan put some of her toys together. Peter felt, for the most part, like he was just going through the motions as he tore apart wrapping paper and tried to smile appreciatively at everyone.
He couldn't help but miss Christmas morning at the apartment. He would be wrapped up in a blanket because the radiator was probably not working and he would have a hot mug of cocoa in his hands with too many marshmallows to keep him warm. There wouldn't even be half as many presents as there were here to open. The TV would be playing Christmas with the Kranks, May and his favorite. A little later in the morning, Peter would go to the deli on the corner and pick up their order of cinnamon rolls and donuts to bring back for breakfast and May would have one last present waiting for him that she had "found in her closet".
"You ready for breakfast?" Tony asked, pulling Peter from his train of thought.
Peter blinked and realized that Pepper and Morgan were both gone, probably getting dressed for the day. He turned to look at Tony, noticing that his coffee cup with empty.
"Yeah." Peter said, giving the man a small smile.
"Well, I believe Sam and Steve have been cooking up a storm downstairs so why don't you get dressed into something comfy and we'll head down." Tony said, standing up and offering his hand to Peter.
Peter nodded and went towards his room before looking back at Tony. He was bent down, collecting discarded wrapping paper and stuffing it into a garbage bag.
"I'm sorry if I'm not…" Peter trailed off, flapping his hand around as Tony looked up at him, "I just… I really appreciate all of this, I do. Thank you for all the gifts, I'm just… today it…"
"Pete, don't sweat it. I completely understand. Today is going to be hard. And so is tomorrow. And the next day. The important thing is that you're here and you're trying. That's all that matters."
The rest of the day passed by in a haze. Peter remembers eating breakfast with the team and briefly playing with Morgan and her new toys before going to his room for the remainder of the day.
"All done! I'm very pleased with the movements you've been able to perform today. Well done, Mr. Leeds." Dr. Cho said, snapping Peter out of his thoughts.
Peter stood up, rubbing his clammy palms against his thighs, and helped Helen Cho transfer Ned into his wheelchair. Dr. Cho smiled gratefully at Peter before grabbing Ned's file and walking back to her desk to make some notes.
"Can I take him back to his room?" Peter asked, wrapping his hands around the armchair's handles.
"Yes, you're all good!" Dr. Cho responded.
Peter began pushing Ned out of the room and down the hallway towards his bedroom. Tony had set up a space down in the medbay for Ned to stay in while he was recovering. He had decorated it like Peter's with a bunch of Star Wars posters and knickknacks spread around. There was a large bed with many pillows and blankets as well as a plush couch. There were also two desks situated in the corner of the room, one wheelchair accessible. Neither Ned nor Peter had gone back to school since the accident and had been attending their lessons virtually in the medbay.
"When I asked you to come with me during physical therapy, I didn't expect the polar opposite of my parents." Ned said as they entered his room.
"What do you mean?" Peter asked, parking Ned's wheelchair near the couch.
"Well, I was hoping that you wouldn't be sobbing into a pillow like my mom, but I didn't mean for you to completely zone out the entirety of my visit." Ned explained, dragging himself onto the cushions.
Peter felt his face heat up as he pushed Ned's chair against the wall.
"I'm sorry Ned… I just -"
"Dude, don't worry. I was just picking at you. I know you've got a lot on your mind right now. I appreciate you sitting through all that, though." Ned cut Peter off.
Peter sighed, sitting down on the couch next to Ned.
"Is MJ coming over today?" Ned asked after a moment of silence.
"Yeah." Peter said.
"Are you still going to do it?" Ned asked.
Peter paused for a moment and whispered, "Yeah."
Ned nodded his head before bumping his shoulder against Peter's.
"Well, for what it's worth, I think it's the right thing to do."
Peter gave Ned a small smile.
"When does she get here?" Ned asked, checking his phone for the time.
"Like five." Peter responded.
"So, do you want to play some Skyrim before the cavalry brings us food?" Ned asked.
Peter nodded, getting up to turn on the console and grabbed a controller, handing it to Ned.
Ned and Peter were able to play videogames for a little over an hour before Tony came down in search of Peter. After making sure that they were okay, Tony ordered them some pizza, wings, and breadsticks and stayed to watch the teens play their game.
Later in the morning Tony got called into a meeting by Steve and Ned grew tired so Peter left him to take a nap. After watching a movie with Morgan and taking a nap of his own, Peter found that five o'clock came much quicker than anticipated. Before he knew it, Friday was announcing MJ's arrival.
"Thanks Fri." Peter said, grabbing a present off his desk and heading down to the common room.
MJ was sat on the couch, a gift of her own on her lap, but she stood up when Peter left the elevator. The two stood in silence, nobody else on the floor, and stared at each other.
"The sun's setting… do you want to go up onto the roof?" Peter asked, nodding his head back to the elevator.
"Yeah, that sounds cool." MJ said with an air of indifference.
The couple got into the elevator and Friday took them up to the roof. MJ glanced at Peter out of the corner of her eye.
"I'm glad your knee is healed up." MJ said.
Peter smiled and turned to look at her.
"Me too… I missed you." Peter confessed.
MJ faced Peter. "I missed you too, dork."
The elevator opened and the pair walked out onto the roof, the sun beginning to set behind the New York skyline. The sky was painted an array of oranges and reds, pink hues clinging to the clouds as a deep purple streaked across the sky. The two stood near the edge of the roof, shoulders brushing against one another.
"Merry late Christmas, MJ." Peter whispered into the rapidly darkening sky.
"Merry late Christmas, dork." MJ whispered back.
The two sat down where they were standing and exchanged their gifts. Peter carefully pulled the tissue paper out of the small bag that MJ had handed him. Inside was an old picture, torn around the edges and sat inside an ornate gold frame. From left to right stood Ben and May, Mary and Richard Parker holding a tiny Peter, MJ's father stood next to his mother, holding a small MJ, and next to them stood Ned's parents with a tiny Ned squished in their arms. Peter felt his breath leave his chest, tears obscuring his vision as he looked at MJ.
"I found that in my father's office. I asked him if you could have it. He made a copy for himself but he said you could have the original." MJ explained.
Peter sniffed as he glanced back down at the picture, his thumb rubbing against the glass.
"Thank you, Michelle. This… this means a lot." Peter whispered, voice garbled with emotion.
MJ smiled before tearing the wrapping paper off her own present. MJ gasped softly as she carefully pulled out a necklace. The chain was a delicate gold, thin enough to appear easily breakable, but Peter had asked Tony for help in reinforcing it. Dangling off the chain was a simple oval shaped pearl.
"Guess we both got a little sentimental this year." Peter murmured.
MJ gave a short, wet laugh.
"It looks just like my mother's." MJ whispered.
"Well, I tried to make sure that it did. The chain won't break though… it's made from Vibranium." Peter whispered back.
MJ snapped her head around to stare at Peter incredulously. "You made this?"
Peter nodded and gestured for MJ to hand over the necklace. She turned around, lifting her hair up and allowing Peter to clasp the jewelry around her neck. MJ let her hair drop back into place as she looked down at her chest, hand resting over the pearl.
"Thank you, Peter."
The sun had long set, the city bathed in its own yellow glow of lights from the buildings nestled together. The sky a sea of darkness. The two sat together, the air around them turning solid as they breathed in the frigid night's air and exhaled puffs around them.
"Are you breaking up with me?" MJ asked, staring down at the cars zooming down below.
Peter hesitated, shocked at MJ's bluntness before realizing who she was. She knew everything.
"I am. Listen, I love you so much Michelle. But… I'm also hurting right now. I need to figure some things out… Sam says I have to process my emotions…. He said I never really dealt with my parents' deaths, nor Ben's, and that it's going to take time. Time that I can't spend with you. I need to be on my own for a bit… but I hope you aren't going to stop being my friend because you were my best friend well before we started dating," Peter said, holding the picture frame up for MJ to see, "and you'll still be my best friend after."
MJ was silent for a while, staring down at the picture in Peter's hand, before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Peter's cheek.
"You don't have to explain anything to me, Pete. I understand. Of course I'm still going to be your best friend. Plus, let's be honest…" MJ trailed off, leaning back onto her elbows, "we both knew this was just a fling."
Peter stared down at MJ, trying to keep a straight face, but failing miserably as he began to laugh. MJ joined him not long after and then both teens were laying on their backs, laughing into the cold night. Peter rolled over and looked down at MJ.
"I love you." He said, wiping a tear from his cheek.
"I know." MJ said, a shit-eating grin spreading across her face.
Peter groaned, rolling his eyes as he pushed himself up into a seated position.
"I've created a monster." Peter moaned, regretting introducing MJ to Star Wars.
MJ laughed again as she stood up and held her hand out.
"Want to go visit Ned?" MJ asked.
Peter looked at her hand before tilting his head back to look at MJ's face.
"You go ahead, I'll meet you down there." He said with a small smile.
MJ hesitated before lowering her hand and smiling back at Peter. She gathered up the wrapping paper and her discarded box, stuffing them into Peter's empty bag, and went back into the tower.
After watching MJ go back inside, Peter sighed and looked back at the picture he had been gifted. His eyes filled with tears as he stared back at a smiling Ben and May, both looking so young and carefree. He wondered if they would have stayed looking like that had they not been burdened with him all those years ago.
His father, Richard, and Uncle Ben had been friends with MJ's father growing up. The trio were inseparable. His father met his mother when they were in college and she introduced Ben to May. MJ's father had worked with Ned's parents and soon what had been a trio became a family.
"It's snowing." A voice said from behind him.
Peter looked up and discovered that it was indeed snowing. Fat snowflakes were swirling in the air, pure and white, heading towards their impending doom of becoming brown slush on the side of the streets below.
"You forgot this."
Peter felt something heavy being draped over his shoulders. Upon further inspection, Peter realized that Tony had grabbed his jacket. Said man groaned as he sat down next to Peter, glancing down at his hands.
"What's that?" Tony asked, nodding his head towards the picture.
Instead of responding, Peter handed the picture over to Tony. He watched as he recognized May immediately, his eyes sliding over to Ben. Then, he spotted Peter and his face broke out into a huge grin, causing something warm to flood Peter's chest.
"Look at you! Look at those chunky cheeks!" Tony exclaimed, sounding just like the father that he was. "God… you look just like your father…" Tony muttered, staring at Richard Parker.
The pair were silent for a moment, Peter watching the snow swirl around in the air and Tony studying the picture.
"I broke up with MJ." Peter muttered into the night.
Tony paused before handing the picture back to Peter.
"How did she take it?" Tony asked.
Peter shrugged, "We're still friends… she's visiting with Ned right now."
"How do you feel?" Tony asked.
Peter shrugged again, "I don't feel much of anything these days except sadness."
Tony turned his head to stare at the snow falling in the night, refracting the light from the buildings below. Peter looked back at the picture in his hand, wondering where the smiling toddler staring back at him had gone.
"You'll feel something again soon, kiddo. Maybe we should get you a couple of more sessions in with Sam." Tony finally said.
Peter nodded, chewing on his bottom lip.
"Promise?" Peter whispered, peeking up at Tony through his eyelashes.
Tony froze for a moment before looking back at Peter.
"Promise what?" Tony hesitantly asked.
"That I'll feel something again soon." Peter murmured.
Tony stared at Peter, a couple of snowflakes nestling onto his hair. Peter felt one cling to his lower eyelashes.
"I promise."