New Metro Zone

[Bruce finds Tony's flip-phone in the debris on the street and picks it up thoughtfully. Wong opens up a portal back to the Sanctum.]

Bruce Banner: Where you going?

Wong: The Time Stone's been taken. The Sanctum remains unguarded. What will you do?

Bruce Banner: [Holding Rogers' cell phone] I'm gonna make a call.

[Wong nods in understanding and closes the portal, not to be seen again for the rest of the movie. Banner holds Steve Rogers' cell phone and makes a call.]

Space

[Camera pans around a brightly colored planet with ice rings to the Benatar. The Guardians of the Galaxy are travelling to investigate a distress call to the tune of "Rubberband Man".]

Peter Quill: [Chair-dancing to the song] Sing it, Drax!

[Drax is snoring with his mouth open from his seat in front of Quill. Gamora lip-syncs with the song along with Quill.]

Rocket: [Yawns] Why are we doing this again?

Gamora: [Annoyed] It's a distress signal, Rocket. Someone could be dying.

Rocket: I get that, but why are we doing it?

Peter Quill: 'Cause we're nice. And maybe whoever it is will give us a little cheddar cheese [Quill rubs his thumb against his other fingers] for our help.

Gamora: [Waves her index finger at Quill] Which isn't the point.

Peter Quill: [Points back at Gamora] Which isn't the point... I mean… if he doesn't pony up….

Drax: We'll take his ship.

Rocket: Exactly!

Peter Quill: B-b-b-bingo!

[Gamora looks up at Quill in concern. Quill returns her look and grimaces a "don't worry about it" expression at her.]

Mantis: [Reading her console] We are arriving.

Peter Quill: All right, Guardians. Don't forget, this might be dangerous, so let's put on our mean faces. [Groot rolls his eyes as Mantis makes a snarl. Groot's handheld Terran-vintage video game beeps.] Groot, put that thing away. Now. I don't wanna tell you again. [Game continues beeping] Groot.

Groot: [In a mocking tone] I am Groot! (Translation: Shut up, bitch!)

Peter Quill: Whoa!

Rocket: Language!

Gamora: Hey!

Drax: Wow.

Peter Quill: You got some acorns on you, kid.

Rocket: Ever since you got a little sap, you're a total d-hole. Keep it up, and I'm gonna SMASH THAT THING TO PIECES!

[Groot rolls his eyes.]

[The Benatar decelerates, and Thanos' devastation suddenly covers the Guardians' field of view, revealing the distress signal to be the one from the Asgardian vessel at the beginning of the movie. Bodies are seen floating dead in space along with the pieces of the shredded ship.]

Mantis: What happened?

Rocket: Looks like we're not getting paid.

[With a thump, Thor's body is plastered to the hull of the ship.]

Rocket: [Waving his hands] Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!

[Thor's eye opens; all gasp.]

[Cut to the Guardians settling the still-unconscious Thor onto an examination table.]

Peter Quill: How the hell is this dude still alive?

Drax: [Sounding awed] He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.

Peter Quill: [A little dented] I'm muscular.

Rocket: Who are you kidding, Quill? You're one sandwich away from fat.

Peter Quill: Yeah, right.

Drax: It's true. You have gained a little weight…. [Drax motions to his chin and belly.]

[Gamora leaves Quill's side at Thor's right, and circles around the foot of the table.]

Peter Quill: What? Gamora, do you think I'm…

Mantis: He is anxious. Angry. He feels tremendous loss and guilt.

Drax: It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel.

Peter Quill: Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay. I'm gonna get a Bow-flex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells.

Rocket: You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?

Gamora: [Reaches Drax's side and picks up Thor's left arm, stroking his triceps] It's like his muscles are made of Cotati metal fibers.

Peter Quill: [Snidely to Gamora] Stop massaging his muscles. [Gamora, annoyed, drops the arm with a thump; quietly to Mantis] Wake him up.

Mantis: [Places hand on Thor's forehead] Wake.

[Thor awakens, sitting up violently and throwing himself off the table to stumble a few steps away, then turning to see his hosts all pointing their weapons of choice at him; Groot is still playing his game.]

Thor: Who the hell are you guys?

[Cut to later as the Guardians stand around Thor eating soup.]

Gamora: The entire time I knew Thanos, he only ever had one goal: To bring balance to the Universe by wiping out half of all life. He used to kill people planet by planet, massacre by massacre...

Drax: Including my own.

Gamora: If he gets all six Infinity Stones, he can do it with the snap of his fingers, like this. [She snaps her fingers.]

Thor: You seem to know a great deal about Thanos.

Drax: Gamora... is the daughter of Thanos.

Thor: Your father killed my brother. [Thor stands and strides towards Gamora aggressively.]

Peter Quill: Oh, boy. Stepfather. Technically, she hates him as much as you do. [Thor softens a bit.]

Thor: Families can be tough. [He claps a hand on Gamora's shoulder] Before my father died, he told me I had a half-sister... that he imprisoned in Hel. Then she returned home, and stabbed me in the eye, so... I had to kill her. It's life, isn't it, I guess. Goes round and round and... I feel your pain.

[Peter glares at Thor's hand on Gamora's shoulder, on the verge of full snarl, and moves around her to push between her and Thor.]

Peter Quill: And I feel your pain, as well. I mean it's not a competition, but I've been through a lot. My father killed my mother, then I had to kill my father. And that was hard. Probably even harder than having to kill a sister. Plus, I, came out of it with both of my eyes-

Thor: [Not paying attention as he stares at his soup spoon] I need a hammer, not a spoon…. (He attempts to fiddle with machinery) How do I open this thing? Is there some sort of a four-digit code maybe… maybe a birth date or something….

Peter Quill: What are you doing?

Thor: Taking your pod.

Peter Quill: [Clears his throat then deepens his voice] No, you're not! [Mimics Thor's accent] You'll not, be taking our pod today, sir.

Rocket: Quill. Are you making your voice deeper?

Peter Quill: No.

Drax: You are. You're imitating the god-man. It's weird.

Peter Quill: No I'm not.

Mantis: [Gasp] He just did it again!

Peter Quill: This is my voice!

Thor: [Steps closer to Quill] Are you mocking me?

Peter Quill: Are you mocking me?

Thor: Stop it. You did it again.

Peter Quill: He's trying to copy me.

Thor: Would you stop doing that? He's doing it first.

Gamora: Enough! We need to stop Thanos. Which means we need to find out where he's going next.

Thor: Knowhere.

Mantis: He must be going somewhere.

Peter Quill: [Voice now normal] No. Knowhere? It's a place. We've been there. It sucks. Excuse me, that's our food. [To Thor as he rummages through their food stores.]

Thor: Not anymore.

Gamora: Thor… why would he go to Knowhere?

Thor: Because ever since Asgard was in custody of the Reality Stone, we foretold Ragnarok, the end of Asgard. Before it would come to pass, we sent both stones that we were in custody of away. The Reality Stone has been safely stored, there with a man we call the Collector.

Peter Quill: If it's with the Collector, then it's not safe. Only an idiot would give that man a stone.

Thor: Or a genius.

Gamora: [To Thor] How do you know he's not going for one of the other Stones?

Thor: There's six stones out there. [Finishes rummaging and steps in front of Gamora] Thanos already has the Power Stone because he stole it last week, when he decimated Xandar. He stole the Space Stone from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people. The Time and Mind Stones are safe on Earth. They're with the United Heroes.

Peter Quill: The 'United Heroes'?

Thor: [By way of explanation.] Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

Mantis: Like Kevin Bacon?

Thor: [Pause] He may be on the team. I don't know. Haven't been there in a while. As for the Soul Stone, well, no one's ever seen that. No one even knows where it is. Therefore, Thanos can't get it. Therefore, he's going to Knowhere. Hence, he'll be getting the Reality Stone. You're welcome.

Gamora: Then we have to go to Knowhere now.

Thor: Wrong! Where we have to go, is Nivadellir.

Drax: That's a made up word.

Thor: All words are made up.

[It's official: mind blown.]

Rocket: Hold up, Nidavellir is real? [Climbing on to the table] Seriously? I mean, that place is a legend. [Increasingly gleeful] They make the most powerful, horrific weapons to ever torment the Universe. I would very much like to go there, please.

Thor: The rabbit is correct, and clearly the smartest among you.

Rocket: Rabbit?

Thor: Only Eitri the dwarf king can make me the weapon I need. [To Rocket] I assume you're the captain, sir?

Rocket: You're very perceptive.

Thor: You seem like a noble leader. Will you join me on my quest to Nidavellir?

Rocket: Lemme just ask the captain. Oh, wait a second, it's me! Yeah, I'll go.

Thor: Wonderful.

Peter Quill: Except for that I'm the captain.

Thor: Quiet!

Peter Quill: That's my backpack.

Rocket: Go sit down.

Peter Quill: [To Thor] Look, this is my ship. And I'm not goin' to… [gropes for "Nidavellir"] Wait, what kind of weapon are we talking about here?

Thor: The Thanos killing kind.

Peter Quill: Don't you think that we should all have a weapon like that?

Thor: No. You simply lack the strength to wield them. Your bodies will crumble as your minds collapse into the madness.

Rocket: Is it weird that I wanna do it even more now?

Thor: A little bit. Yeah.

Gamora: If we don't go to Knowhere and Thanos retrieves another stone, he'll be too powerful to stop.

Thor: He already is.

Rocket: I got it figured out. We got two ships, and a large assortment of morons. So me and Groot will go with the pirate-angel here, and the morons will go to Knowhere to try and stop Thanos. Cool? Cool.

Thor: So cool. [Smiles a big grin.]

Peter Quill: [To Rocket] For the record… I know that you're only going with him because it's where Thanos isn't.

Rocket: You know, you shouldn't talk that way to your captain, Quill. [As he enters the pod] Come on, Groot. Put that game down, you'll rot your brain.

Thor: I bid you farewell and good luck, morons. Bye.

[The Guardians nod or wave farewell as Thor, Rocket and Groot depart.]

OA

[On OA, the guardians of the Green Lantern Corps. Call upon Hal Jordon.]

Hal Jordon: You summoned me.

The Guardians: There is a disturbance in the galaxy. A being from the planet Titan seeks the ultimate power. If he gets all 6 Infinity Stones, all will be lost. We would like for you to do all you can to stop this threat.

Hal Jordon: Understood.

[And with that, Hal flew off in his Green Lantern attire.]