Another week, another chapter!
The irritation of the week is "Simply." Thank you as always to my beta. Also this is a long one folks so buckle on in and Enjoy!
Trigger warning; there is mention of loss of a family member in this chapter.
The car ride home is silent. They had said their goodbyes not long after the forgotten cake situation, even after Kara had quietly suggested she go pick it up, causing Eliza to scold her for improper use of her powers. Looking emotionally drained, Lena hands the car keys to Kara, shocking her as she carefully sits in the driver's seat. Kara chances a glance fifteen minutes into the drive to find Lena staring out the window. Her face relaxed in a way that tells Kara the CEO has had enough. That she wants to curl up and forget about everything. Kara shifts in her seat as the lights of the city come into view. She glances at Lena and wonders about what's going on inside Lena's head.
"Lena," Kara says, trying to break the tension.
"You know I've been your friend for three years, Kara," Lena states her voice flat and emotionless. "And we've never once celebrated your birthday."
Kara pales as she stops at a red light. "I- It's not my actual birthday," Kara explains, looking at Lena, whose eyes narrow and Kara feels guilt take hold of her belly. "It's the day I landed on earth, to Alex and Eliza it's my earth birthday."
Lena's silence is deafening.
"It's not the point, I know," Kara mutters as she watches the road intently. "I-I'm sorry Lena I should have told you." Kara's guilt churns in her gut and she desperately wants Lena's forgiveness, for everything she's done so that they can move forward into something new and make this reality theirs.
Lena sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"I should have told you a lot of things," Kara admits under her breath.
"Please just stop, Kara," Lena whispers and the car is silent save for their breathing. "Just stop apologising."
Kara opens her mouth automatically before quickly shutting it.
"I know you want to make things better, I do, I just don't know how much of everything is real anymore. I'm losing sight of that," Lena points to the city in front of them. "None of this is our life."
Kara can hear the defeat in her tone, the weight of the world leaching into her voice. "Do you want it to be?" Kara asks hopefully.
"We both know it can't be," Lena sighs, and it's the only confirmation Kara needs. Lena doesn't want to be with her. After all, why would she after everything Kara's done? "We need to go back to our life. You have to go back to National City to save our earth and look after Alex, and Nia and Brainy."
"And what about you?" Kara asks as she pulls slowly into the parking garage. "What would you go back to Lena?"
"Righting my wrongs and that of my family's," Lena admits, and Kara looks over at her as she turns off the engine.
"Would you miss this world though?" Kara asks quietly and Lena is watching her with equal curiosity.
"I'd miss Jack and Sam," Lena shrugs and Kara can't help the hurt that hits her chest. "I don't have them in our world but this isn't real Kara, this isn't our life. Even if we wanted it to be." Lena's voice cracks as she shakes her head. "Our world needs its Supergirl."
"But Lena-"
"I've always survived Kara, I will without this fantasy that we've ended up in." Lena's voice is hard and Kara can see the tears threatening to spill. Does Lena want this reality? Kara wonders. Could they be together in their world? Why couldn't they? Kara ponders. But life was different there, Alex wasn't as understanding as she was here and there was no support for either of them, it would be a fight with their friends and family over what Lena had done. Kara bites her lip as she realises that it couldn't happen that life would stand in the way. Kara looks to Lena, who takes a calming breath, blinking back the tears. Before she can tell Lena that she doesn't have to just survive; before she can pull Lena close and tell her that she doesn't want them to be angry at each other; before she can tell Lena she wants them to go back to how it was before Lex had told Lena the truth, Lena gets out of the car. Kara swallows the lump that's forming in her throat and slips from the car following Lena silently into the elevator and into the apartment.
Kara watches, a dull feeling overtaking her, her lips purse slightly, tracking the practised routine movements as Lena drops her bag on the counter and slips her heels off in one fluid motion. Leaning down to pick her shoes up, noting the soft slump of Lena's shoulders as she moves across the hall to hang up her jacket before heading upstairs, back turned, leaving Kara behind. Moving towards the kitchen, her limbs heavy with sadness, she fills a pot with milk and begins the comforting task of making herself hot chocolate and a cup of earl grey for Lena. Kara listens as she hears the heavy sigh in the bedroom above her, the soft click as Lena returns her shoes to her closet, and as she slips her own shoes from her feet, there's a gentle knock and Eliza's slipping through with a soft smile.
"Hey, I stopped and got supplies for dinner tomorrow," Eliza states as she sets grocery bags down and Kara gives her a tired smile. "Are you ok, sweetie?" Eliza asks as she hands Kara groceries and Kara nods.
"Yeah, it's just a long day with Alex and stuff," Kara shrugs, it's not untrue. It's just not the complete picture.
"I know, but soon you won't have to worry about her," Eliza smiles encouragingly at Kara and Kara wants to tell her that it wasn't her worry over her sister's impending child she was referring to, but can't.
They finish putting away the groceries as Lena descends the stairs, her hair is pulled back and Kara can't help but appreciate how flawless Lena looks. Eliza makes dinner and Kara attempts to help, only to be shooed away. She turns and falters with the way Lena is watching her closely. She glances back at Eliza, who is chopping vegetables before moving to sit close to Lena on the couch, and feels Lena stiffen beside her.
"Sorry," Kara whispers, and Lena gives a minimal shake of her head. Kara lays her arm over the back of the couch behind Lena as she picks up the discarded remote and flicks pointlessly through channels. She settles on old reruns of Friends, pulling her attention and silencing the thoughts and worries of the day.
"At least they have Friends in this universe," Lena whispers. Kara can't help the small laugh that tumbles from her lips and glancing back at Lena, her heart feels elated at the sight of Lena leaning slightly into her watching the rerun. They sit like that, slightly curled into one another until Eliza calls them for dinner.
They chat about the party and plans that Eliza had for Kara's earth birthday, which only makes Kara feel uncomfortable, and Kara's thankful when Lena moves the conversation on to Eliza's research.
The rest of the meal passes in easy conversation until Eliza retires to bed and bids them goodnight. They clear the table and clean the dishes in comfortable silence until they are standing on either side of the bed. Kara frowning at the revealing slip Lena is holding with a sigh before Kara shakes her head.
"Don't get changed," Kara states firmly stalking into the closet, leaving Lena frowning at her. She reemerges with a cotton t-shirt and shorts. Thinking they will fit and cover Lena better, helping to control her raging attraction for the raven haired woman.
"You can wear these if it's more comfortable," Kara suggests, Lena eyes her for a moment before taking the offered clothes.
"Thank you," Lena whispers, stepping from the room.
They get changed and Kara's breath gets caught in her throat, at how much more breathtaking Lena is in her clothes. Her body heats up at how her t-shirt hangs off of Lena's shoulder, she watches Lena climb into bed and follows conscious that Lena was going to be lying so close. Kara's breath gets caught in her throat, at how much more breathtaking Lena is in her clothes as she observes Lena sitting back against the headboard a thick book in her lap.
"Tell me about your book?" Kara requests looking to distract herself. Lena looks up in surprise before nodding.
"It's silly really," Lena says, with a lopsided smile and Kara can see the faint tinge of pink filling her cheeks. "It's about the battle of Troy, but it's all from Patroclus's perspective. It's a historical fiction novel romanticising the love of Achilles and Patroclus."
"That's not silly," Kara protests, adamantly.
"I don't know," Lena shrugs. "It's not something I would have read in our world. I guess the other me was more of a romantic." Lena theorises and Kara can't help the scowl of disagreement.
"Say's the woman who wants Jay T and Britany back together."
Lena's melodic laugh fills the room before she purses her lips. "Touche."
"Thank you for surviving with me today," Kara states softly and Lena's grin falls to a soft smile.
"Let's not make it into such a big deal, Kara, it's something we have to do to survive here."
Kara sits silently for several moments, "Life should be more than just surviving," she whispers and Lena gives a sympathetic smile. As Kara shakes her head thinking how she wants to enjoy life. Live it to its fullest and not have any regrets
"Life isn't always what we want to make of it," Lena admits, closing the book and setting it on the bedside table, turning the light off and plunging them into temporary darkness. As the light from the city mutely lights up the room. Lena lays down to face Kara fully. "It's hard and scary. It's filled with mistakes and regret."
"Yes, but those don't have to be purely bad things. Plus, It's also filled with love and happiness." Kara counters before sighing, "I wish we didn't have to do all this family stuff."
"You love your family," Lena reasons.
"I do, but it just reminds me of everything I've lost at the same time," Kara says. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just- I want things to go back to normal."
"You're doing the best you can with a rubbish situation. Try not to worry," Lena says, her tone low and reassuring as Kara rolls onto her side. Lena's hand rests gently on her back, supportively, and Kara can't decide if it's unconsciously done or not. It makes her eyes heavy, and it lulls her to sleep with its comforting weight.
Lena wakes to soft whimpers beside her. Frowning, she blinks sleep from her eyes as she sits up. Kara's rolling lightly, a deep frown splitting her features. Her face contorted in pain and Lena focuses on searching for the source.
"N-No," Kara whimpers. "Need-Let me out."
Her frown deepens with uncertainty, her closed lids squeeze tighter. Seeing Kara's body begin to strain and bow, muscles growing taut. The muscles in her neck cord as a pained whimper sounds like it crawling up her throat. Kara's body is shaking now, groaning and trying to angle away from whatever is threatening in her dreams. Lena realises that Kara is having a bad dream.
She holds back unsure what to do, as she glimpses the faint glow of the city lights reflected in the tears rolling from the corner of Kara's eye, her lips trembling as she moans words in a language Lena doesn't know.
"Kara," Lena whispers softly as Kara gives a particularly loud whimper, her face scrunching up tighter when Lena moves to touch her. "Kara, you need to wake up."
And Kara seems to stutter at the touch, her body becoming less tense, only relaxing minimally.
Tentatively Lena places her hand on Kara's chest, feeling the erratic beating of the Kryptonians heart. Leaning in close, head resting at Kara's temple.
"You are okay," Lena says softly, letting her emotions bleed through Kara's jerking movements as blue eyes begin to glow red pricks of heat vision forming. "I've got you," Lena's voice trembles with barely contained fear. "Please, Kara, you are safe. Please, come back to me. Please... Kara."
Blue eyes blink open and as though the flood gates had been released and Kara's body relaxes.
"Lena?" Kara sounds timid and unsure, blinking away the vision. Tears flowing in its place, "Lena… What?" Kara can feel the remnant of heat behind her eyes. "I'm- Rao, Lena. I'm so sorry."
And Lena moves without thinking all thoughts of the past on hold. "It's ok, you had a bad dream, it's just a dream," Lena reassures, her arms wrapping tightly around shaking shoulders.
Lena holds Kara tightly as sobs wracked her body. The faint puff of breath against Lena's shoulder was the only noise filling the room. Slowly Lena begins to lies back pulling Kara down with her. She's never seen Kara this raw, this upset from something as trivial as a bad dream. A memory of being stuck in an elevator with a frantic and frenzied Kara comes suddenly to mind. The genuine fear, she had seen in blue eyes. And Lena begins to understand the information of Supergirl's time in the phantom zone. Lena wonders what it would be like to be stuck somewhere far from a home that you can never return to. Lena thinks how intimate they must look, Kara tucked protectively beneath her chin, as Lena's arms are wrapped protectively around her back, rubbing soothing circles over the thin fabric, that barely contains Kara's natural body heat. She lets herself enjoy the feeling of their limbs tangle together, and the way that Kara's muscles ripple and relax as she consoles Kara as best as she can.
"I'm so sorry Lena," is whispered into the darkness and Lena shushes her quietly. "It shouldn't have happened," Kara continues pulling away. "I- I could have hurt you."
Lena shushes her looking down into wide blue eyes, "You would never intentionally hurt me, Kara."
Kara swipes her lower lip taking a shaky breath and Lena can't help but zone in on them, how soft they look even in the night shrouded in darkness. She rests her forehead against Kara's, silencing Kara's protests and watches as blue eyes squeeze tightly shut. A sharp inhale coming from Kara before whispering, "But I-"
Before she can rationalise, Lena silences her with a kiss wanting to feel Kara's lips against hers. It takes Kara a long moment to respond before Lena feels Kara push against her pull, losing herself to the sensations. Kara's vulnerability shattering her defences, it's soft and slow and Lena's tangling a hand in sunkissed locks. Her body reacts instantly as Kara's arm tightens around her waist pulling her closer, feeling Kara's thigh slot between her legs a breath away from her core. But there is a part of Lena that realises, they shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be taking advantage of such a fraught situation.
"Kara," Lena protests quietly, breaking away. "It's not right, you're upset."
"I want this, Lena, I want you," Kara whispers, resting her head against Lena's, their lips barely touching, waiting for Lena to choose.
And it's the sad way that Kara says it that causes Lena to succumb, closing the gap between their lips. Leaving her breathless as Kara presses in flush against her core. Strong hands slip from her waist to her hips helping Lena grind against Kara's leg pulling a soft gasp from Lena's lips. But Lena doesn't want this about her, she wants to make Kara feel good. Moaning, Lena deepens the kiss pushing back against a firm chest as Kara relaxes on to her back Lena straddles the Kryptonians hips as she slips her tongue past the barrier of Kara's lips, drowning in the sweetness of Kara's taste. Sitting up she moves her hands up along Kara's belly, palming the swell of a soft breast, teasing a nipple that pebbles taunt responsive to her touch. Kara's sunkissed hair fanned out around her, like a halo. Kara stares at her blue eyes glassy with lust and adoration, something Lena is not naive to believe is for her. Leaning down, Lena captures Kara's lips in her own, her body craving Kara's touch. Kara's hands slip up beneath Lena's shirt causing a jolt of arousal to shiver down to her aching core. She's lost in the feeling of Kara's hands sliding softly up her skin, cupping her breast, a thumb teasing her nipple over a padded bra. Lena nips Kara's lower lip playfully when she feels the smirk grace the Kryptonians face. A whimper slips from Kara's lips at Lena's roughness and she makes a mental note to revisit that another time. Lena shifts her own hand first tangling her fingers in sunkissed locks kissing lightly over Kara's jaw.
"Lena," Kara murmurs breathy, her hips bucking in response when Lena bites the spot beneath her ear. Lena moans at the firm pressure against her core.
"Something wrong, Supergirl?" Lena teases quietly and Kara groans as Lena moves her hand from Kara's locks to cup her breast teasing the hardening nipple, smiling at the way Kara's eyes squeeze shut at her touch. She leans in, her mouth, latching on to the column of Kara's neck, nipping and sucking, leaving her invisible marks on invulnerable skin, teasing the pebbling bud beneath her fingers. Lena sits back settling firmly on Kara's hips and core, whimpering at the wetness against her own aroused sex.
"Lena!" Kara rasps, eyes widening at the sight, and sitting up chasing Lena touch and latches on pulling a throating moan from her as she feels the harsh pull of Kara's lips and teeth against her neck, as Kara's hands slip beneath her own top working and caressing it up and off Lena's body and she feels Kara's intense gaze rake up and down her body. "So beautiful," Kara breaths, before blue eyes meet her own and Lena watches Kara's tongue swipe her lower lip. She can't help it as she leans down reigniting the kiss or the shudder that passes through her as Kara caresses the underside of her breast. The Kryptonian's other hand descending to her thigh slowly grinding them against each other. Moaning, Lena feels arousal pool between her thighs.
Lena isn't sure if Kara uses her superspeed or not but she finds herself quickly flipped onto her back, a muscled thigh pressed against her core. Her breath held as her heart begins to race. Kara's eyes close, listening, a small blissful smile gracing her lips. Lena exhales in a rush when Kara looks down again at her, blue eyes blown almost to black as she lowers herself kissing Lena hard enough to bruise, groaning as Kara's thigh pressing deeper against her weeping sex causes Lena to buck teasing her core more.
She's had sex with Kara before she reminds herself, but it was angry and they were trying to avoid what they couldn't admit. Tonight she could feel the emotion bubbling up that she still can't handle so she loses herself in the feel of Kara touch and kisses and the smirk against her lips. She bucks again teasing herself. But still, it gets her hot as her lips tangle with Kara's and her hands twist in golden locks. It suddenly dawns on her how selfless Kara is being that this wasn't supposed to be about Lena. Lena was comforting her not the other way around. Lena's hand descends to the waistband of Kara's pyjama bottoms pleased at the way Kara's muscles dance beneath her fingers. She grins as Kara gasps when her hand slips below soft hair as Lena drags a finger through slick folds.
"L-Lena," Kara mutters breaking the kiss. Lena watches as she teases Kara's clit a crinkle forming on the Kryptonian's brow. Feeling the tension of Kara's body as a small gasp escaping her. Moving up Lena kisses her softly, her fingers quickly learning what the way to turn Kara on. Like how she relaxes when it's not quite right or the way a moan is pulled from low in her throat when Lena circles her clit in a certain way, or how her hips buck to meet the faint pressure when her fingers brush her. She manages to flip them once more. Kara's hands flexing unsure and Lena guides her reassuringly to the pillows never breaking their kisses. It seems to be the only thing keeping Kara from retaking control of the situation.
"Relax Kara," Lena whispers, kissing her softly.
"Don't wanna hurt you," Kara gasps, tensing as Lena's fingers dip lower. Lena nips playfully at her collar bone.
"You won't" Lena murmurs against tan skin before kissing lower. A quick shove of Kara shirt and she encloses the light pink bud in her lips and Kara's hips jerk at the sensation. She teases Kara until she hears a faint whine before kissing over the strong muscles of Kara's stomach littering the tan skin with light nips. She pushes Kara's pants down with the aid of an impatient kick from the Kryptonian and Lena can't help but smirk as she kisses over Kara's hip at her eagerness. It should send alarm bells ringing through Lena's brain but instead, she gets lost in the blue eyes watching her. She dips her head lower, using her tongue to part Kara folds, swiping up to tease Kara's straining bud.
"Fuck," Kara curses and it sends jolts to Lena's core. She's had sex with women before and it wasn't like this Lena thinks to herself. She had tolerated oral on another woman looking at it as a means to an end. But tasting Kara is something else. Kara's so open, and slick, and ready, and god is she's responsive. Her hips twitch and jerk with every swipe of Lena's tongue, and her fists clench hard on the pillows trying to control herself. Lena slips her hand between Kara's thighs teasing her entrance and there's a loud rip and Lena knows she's ripped a pillow. Kara gasps as Lena slips a finger into Kara's wet heat and she can't help the moan at the feeling of Kara fluttering around her. Kara gently grinds her hips into Lena's mouth as she sucks on her clit gently. Removing her fingers from Kara she holds Kara's hips down as she sucks and swipes at her.
Kara's quivering under her tongue and looking up she meets blown blue eyes. She sucks more fervently and blue eyes squeeze shut as her head drops back.
"Fuck Lena," Kara curses. The noise Kara makes as she comes is like music to Lena's ears as she guides Kara through her orgasm. Lena continues drinking her in as she comes down, Kara's ragged breathing calming and Lena moves kissing over firm thighs, then over a toned stomach. Kara reaches down pulling her in for a sloppy kiss and hears Kara's moan as she tastes herself on Lena's tongue. Lena draws back, panting, body torn, her brain exhausted and anything south of her navel is screaming for attention. Kara, sweet Kara is sucking gently beneath her ear, hands roaming every nerve ending shot.
"It's ok, Kara," Lena whispers, running her nails over Kara's scalp softly. It makes the blonde look up with a frown.
"But you-" Kara protests but Lena smiles softly.
"It wasn't about me," Lena admits as her own eyes feel heavy. "Go to sleep," Lena orders gently kissing Kara and the Kryptonian relaxes back into the pillows pulling Lena with her. She's tucked under Kara's chin the warmth of the alien beneath her lulling her to sleep.
Lena should have known better, she knows she shouldn't have kissed Kara. It's just confusing things for them. Now she's gone and added her emotions into the mix which is just asking for her heart to get smashed into a billion pieces when they finally go their separate ways. Because she knows, deep down, Kara wouldn't want her. No matter the heated looks or soft touches imply. She looks around, she's on her side of the bed, sheets tangled between her legs. A warm arm draped over her waist. She turns to find Kara asleep. She has to stifle a laugh as white feathers poke out from blonde hair and the memory of Kara ripping a pillow fills her mind. It seems to stir Kara whose eyes crack open as Lena plucks a feather from her hair.
"Morning," Kara's voice is rough with sleep and Lena can't help but smile at the sight.
"Morning," Lena replies watching as Kara rolls onto her back staring at the ceiling. Kara seems to think for a long moment before sitting up and running a hand through her hair.
"Um, thank you, for, you know, last night," Kara mutters, awkwardly. Lena frowns, wondering what part of the night Kara's referring to. The nightmare, the consolation or the sex.
"Kara," Lena tries to protest, sitting up thinking of a better excuse than 'that's what friends are for'.
"Most people would have run for the hills as soon as my nightmares happen so thank you."
Nightmares, right, Lena thinks and she shrugs. "It's nothing," Lena says. But, it was something. It was something that wasn't fueled by anger and couldn't be excused for getting lost in the heat of the moment. It was emotional and god Lena hates how those blue eyes are watching her with something akin to sympathy.
"Eliza's up," Kara states, getting up, gesturing to the door. Lena falls back on the bed with a huff when Kara doesn't look at her as she disappears into the bathroom.
Kara's expression is unreadable when she returns wrapped up only in a towel. Lena averts her eyes as Kara slips silently into the closet to get dressed. Lena sighs getting up and showering. Standing under the warm spray, Lena ponders their situation. Maybe Kara didn't feel the same way Lena did. But Lena had never known Kara to go along with something she didn't want. It dawns on Lena as she steps out the shower that perhaps Kara thought Lena didn't want her and didn't want to apply any pressure to Lena. She wants Kara and the lingering arousal is proof of that. She concludes she is going to have to show Kara, one way or another that she wanted Kara and that she wasn't a means to an end. Getting dressed she walks down to find Eliza making pancakes with a suspiciously overly bright smile. She can feel the heat creeping up her neck as she realises that the matriarch had likely heard them last night.
"Morning Lena," Eliza smiles sheepishly. Lena smiles in return, stepping into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. Holding up the pot silently asking If Eliza also wanted one. Nodding when Eliza waves the offer away.
"Where's Kara?" Lena asks, turning from the machine and Eliza points towards the balcony where Kara's stands hunching over the railing overlooking the city, clutching a mug in her hand.
"I heard you trying to console her, was the nightmare bad last night?" Eliza asks carefully and Lena nods, blushing at the confirmation
Eliza nods knowingly. "Thankfully it's just for the one night," says commiserating with Lena over something they both should understand. But Lena doesn't and she wants to ask questions because she wants to understand.
"I'm just going to check on her," Lena excuses herself and Eliza nods. Stepping into the crisp air she leans back against the railing facing away from the city view.
"You ok?" Lena asks quietly, glancing over at Kara who nods. Her face free of glasses and her hair is tumbling carelessly down her back. Kara's expression is similar to the first days Lena ran Catco stoic and detached. "Kara about last night," Lena begins but Kara shakes her head.
"I really don't want to talk about it Lena," Kara states standing to her full height staring into her mug. "But, thank you for... you know..." Kara coughs and Lena nods with a bashful smile. She steps close to Kara taking her hand with a squeeze.
"I know things are still uncertain between us but if you need to talk for whatever reason, I am here."
"I'll be fine Lena," Kara says, dismissively, not t in the mood to share.
Dejectedly Lena steps back inside, to assist Eliza with finishing breakfast. Silently they eat, Kara's taking a normal person's share, rather than her normal Kryptonian portion.
After breakfast, Kara slips back out onto the balcony and Lena can't help the concerned frown as she watches Kara leave. A soft squeeze of her arm makes her jump and Eliza's there.
"She'll get better after today, you know how she is."
But that's the problem, Lena doesn't know. She knows that Kara clams up when talking about her family and so Lena doesn't know what Kara's thinking. She's known for a long time that Kara was adopted and that her parents died. But she can't compare her mother's death with Kara's loss. Kara lost a planet and her way of life. She has no idea how Kara feels after losing her entire world. Lena can't even remember her own mother's death so just flickers of days at the beach remnants of her mother's voice. Lena's pulled from her memories as Eliza squeezes her arm.
"Let me talk to her," Eliza states, stepping out onto the balcony. She sees Kara turn with a slight look of irritation before it softens at the sight of Eliza. Lena watches as Kara's body becomes rigid, her hands gesturing in a way like she is trying to ward something off. She also doesn't need to have had an excellent mother to see the disapproving yet sympathetic look Eliza gives Kara. What Lena doesn't expect is for Kara to glance inside to Lena who is clutching her coffee. She gives Kara a small smile and the two move inside. Kara sits across from Eliza who is frowning deep in concern. Lena moves sitting next to Kara as Kara spills everything to her about the multiverse collapse and how it was reborn. How Kara and herself weren't married before or even on talking terms. Throughout the explanation Lena watches Eliza's eyes flicker between the two.
"And now we're here," Kara finishes. "Stuck."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Eliza asks, her voice tinged with hurt.
"Because of the ripple effect," Kara states and realisation dawns over Eliza's face.
"You feel ok though right?" Lena asks quickly, concern filling her voice and Eliza smiles softly.
"I feel fine, my brain is fine." Eliza reassures."Thank you for telling me."
There's a moment's silence before Eliza asks, "Kara, what are you both going to do?"
Kara glances at Lena before shaking her head, "We don't know. I don't really want to have to think about it today." Kara admits with a purse of her lips and Eliza nods understanding before a small ping of her phone diverts their attention.
"Alex, Sam and Ruby are going to come over later around 3," Eliza informs them. Lena spares a glance back at Kara who is fidgeting uncomfortably. A long forgotten memory when Lena had been uncomfortable Kara had brought her doughnuts and an idea pops into the CEO's mind.
"Have you been to the shop to pick up the cakes yet, Eliza?" Lena asks and Eliza shakes her head.
"Not yet," The matriarch responds.
"Do you mind if I?" Lena asks, gesturing to the door.
Eliza nods with a knowing smile, "I'll send you the details."
The Arias-Danvers women appear at exactly 3 pm. Lena hasn't seen Kara since that morning, and she doesn't appear when Alex asks where she is. The older Danvers moves to stand.
"I'll go drag her from her pit of despair," Alex states.
"No, I'll get her," Lena says and Alex frowns but nods reluctantly. Lena finds Kara in the room across from the office, it's littered with paintings the Kryptonian has done. She's kneeling in the sunlight streaming through. In her hand is a plain pillar candle. She can't understand the soft mutterings Kara recites, but she knows enough to hear a prayer. She moves to step away, but Kara's voice stops her.
"Don't go."
"I didn't mean to disturb you," Lena whispers.
"You're not." Kara's head dips as she sighs. "It centres me, helps me clear my mind. It helps on days like today."
"Your earth birthday?" Lena asks in confirmation.
"The day I landed here, I thought my whole world was gone, it reminds me of that feeling," Kara shrugs and Lena kneels down next to her.
"Argo's here, Kara," Lena says, softly, "It's not all lost."
"It's not the same," Kara states with a shake of her head. Lena nods, she can't understand the complete loss of an entire planet but she can understand the loss of everything she loved.
"I was four when I went to the Luthors. I struggle to remember what she looks like, but I have our old home and a few trinkets that used to be hers," Lena confesses.
"Lena," Kara whispers as they share a knowing look. One of the early things that joined them together was the fact they were both orphans. Both in an unknown new place.
"I don't know if this world would be different but it doesn't stop the feeling being worse. Somehow I feel further away from her memory. Like it was a bad dream, that the hurt is slipping away and I don't want it to because then she'd be gone."
"I know, somehow being on this earth has made today worse, maybe it's Eliza or Alex I don't know I just feel," Kara rolls her hand trying to explain and Lena nods feeling it too. Unsure how to process the feeling of loss for people who were alive and safe.
"I got you something," Lena says after some time. She moves to the closet, returning with a small parcel. She hands it silently to Kara. Kara frowns up at her but unwraps the small gift, opening it. Inside sits a small necklace with a plain and small circular pendant hanging off it. Lena bites her lip as Kara thanks her softly.
"It's not just a necklace, it's also a hologram projector," Lena explains, holding her hand out so that she could place it around Kara's neck. "My mother left me a locket with the only photo I have of us in it. And I wanted to do something similar for you. But I realised I couldn't hack into the DEO and link it with the locket. So instead I thought I could link it to the Fortress of Solitude and then you could see both your parents when you wanted to. The only thing is that I would need your help to program it because it's a Kryptonian operating system."
"Lena, I-" Kara stutters before she wraps Lena in a tight hug and Lena returns it just as tightly. She promised she'd try and she's made Kara suffer enough. "Thank you," Kara whispers as they pull apart. Kara gives a watery smile swiping at her eyes and clearing her throat.
"We better head back since you were sent to, what was it Alex said, 'Pull me from my depths of despair?"'
"There's no rush," Lena s and Kara sighs, blowing the candle out before standing holding her hand out to Lena. She stares up at Kara in slight awe. The sun is hitting her in a way that shrouds her in the darkness, her hand the only thing standing out and it looks like she's been sent from the heavens. Shaking herself from the thought she grips Kara's hand and lets herself be pulled to her feet.
"Let's get this over with," Kara grumbles.
Lena waits until everyone's busy with other things before she pulls Kara to the side.
"You ok?" Kara asks quietly and nerves peak in the pit of Lena's stomach.
"I um, yeah," Lena nods lamely before biting her lip. "I um, I repurposed this," Lena says, producing a cake box.
"Is that?" Kara asks as Lena opens it to show off the revamped detail of Alex's baby shower cake, congratulating Kara on her special day. They grin like children having pulled a prank. It takes her back to the first time she made Lena watch Lilo and Stitch in a pillow fort. They had gotten to have a small slice of earth childhood neither had gotten to have. Lena with the Luthors and Kara while she was on Krypton
"I thought that maybe we could make up for some of the Earth days I missed," Lena offers quietly and Kara smiles softly.
"Lena, you didn't have to do that. You've already done so much"
"I wanted to," Lena shrugs. Lena sets the cake down applying candles as Alex and Eliza walkthrough
"I can't believe you stole Alex's cake," Kara chuckles and Lena grins.
"I suppose my Luthor genes are just shining through." Lena teases and can't help but bite her lip at the laughter spilling from Kara.
"We've commandeered your cake," Kara informs Alex and Sam who both give nervous looks to one another as Kara grins, bouncing on the balls of her feet as Lena finishes lighting candles. They share a grin and it's like nothing bad ever transpired between them. Lena lifts the cake and Kara moves to blow out the candles.
"Happy Earth Day, Kara," Lena says genuinely and the look that Lena convinced herself she hadn't seen is shining in Kara's eyes. She's met with a bright smile pulling her from her thoughts.
What happens next is a slow motion car crash. Kara blows the candles only to forget her strength as excitement overtakes her because... Well, it's a cake, who wouldn't be excited. Except the force of the gust results in the cake exploding until Kara's looking horrified at what she's done. Because Lena Luthor, CEO of one of the biggest tech firms in the country, with three PhD's, and a member of one of the most feared families in the country, is plastered with white frosting and victoria sponge.
The room is silent. Kara stares in horror as Lena stands stalk still, her shoulders tense, her jaw clenched as her eyes are squeezed shut processing what has happened. Alex and Sam's jaws have dropped waiting in suspense for Lena to explode. Eliza is standing with her hand covering her mouth as she tries to stifle a laugh at the sight of Lena standing, in what is likely a $4000 dress with cake falling from her face. It's Ruby that breaks the silence of a small giggle.
Slowly, Lena opens her eyes and Kara is met with fiery rage coming from the CEO's vibrant green eyes.
"Len-" Kara silenced by cake being thrown at her and the Kryptonian flinches as she attempts to pathetically catch what is left before it falls to the floor. The room erupts in laughter as Lena glares murderously.
"Really Kara?" Lena growls shaking splattered cake from her hands. Even Kara is struggling to hide the grin that's creeping over her face as laughter bubbles inside her.
"I'm sorry, I can't," Kara chuckles looking away from Lena's terrifying face.
Lena excuses herself from the room as politely as she can while glaring openly at Kara. She showers quickly and tosses her dress in the trash with a sigh. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she takes a calming breath. She shouldn't be angry with Kara. It was an accident. A harmless accident, Lena tries to justify. It was because she was excited and forgot and it was an accident. She stands in her underwear in the closet when there's a tentative knock and she looks up to see Kara standing awkwardly in the doorway.
"I'm sorry Lena, I didn't mean to," Kara shuffles further into the room, running a hand through her hair as she tries to look anywhere but at Lena's half naked body. Shaking her head, Lena pulls jeans over her hips.
"I know Kara," Lena huffs, buttoning her jeans
"But you're still angry," Kara points out.
"Because it makes me think about what else you and your sister laughed about at my expense." Lena snaps. The comment makes Kara tense and Lena sees the crinkle form.
"We've never laughed at you behind your back, about things relating to Supergirl," Kara says, sincerely.
"Really?" Lena asks with narrow eyes. "Not once have you been in a situation where you and your friends have had to cover their backs where you lied?" Lena asks, her voice rising as the anger returns.
"Yes, but never laughed at you for not knowing, why would we do that?"
Lena squeezes her eyes shut as she tries to control her ragged breathing. When she looks up Kara is standing, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her slacks with her jaw set and lips pursed. "I'm sorry, I'm trying Kara and I know today is difficult-"
"You have every right to be angry, Lena." Kara states and Lena feels herself soften. Her anger slipping away. Lena looks up in surprise seeing Kara looking away, embarrassed "I know I've hurt you, I just wish I could take it all back," Kara mutters.
"I know we've talked about this Kara but you have to understand that it's hard," Lena states as she steps close to the Kryptonian. "It's happened and we need to work this whole world out," Lena reassures with a soft smile. Kara nods, stepping forward and wrapping Lena in a tight hug. Lena returns it, knowing there both are trying, whether Alex or J'onn can see it. She buries her face into Kara's shoulder and she lets her eyes fall shut at the feeling of security of being wrapped up in Kara's arms.
"I really am sorry about the cake," Kara mutters into her bare shoulder and Lena can't help but laugh as they pull apart. "But you've got to admit it was kind of funny?"
Lena can't help the chuckle that spills from her as she shakes her head. Ok, it was kind of funny, she thinks to herself.
"I know, now come on before Alex comes looking for us," Lena states pulling a blouse on.
Walking down the stairs, Lena can't help but grin at the sight of Sam and Ruby laughing at something Eliza has told them. It's what a family should look like, she reminds herself, but this isn't her family. It's not her world, she can't get attached like Kara because she isn't going back to this. She doesn't belong in this situation.
Alex is looking at both of them awkwardly and shifting from foot to foot at the base of the stairs.
"Alex, what's wrong?" Kara asks quietly as they stop in front of her.
"I don't want you to freak out," Alex reassures and immediately Kara tenses. Lena places a hand on Kara's shoulder and she's silently telling herself it's for appearance's sake even if the small voice in the back of her head is laughing at the mere notion.
"Alex," Kara warns.
"J'onn called. He's received a transmission from Argo," Alex explains. "You need to go to the DEO. Now."
A quick shout out that if you want regular updates on the writing process/ previews/ ask me any questions, come shout at me on my Tumblr here: blog/helpbutton95
I just wanted to say a big thank you as well to everyone reading, supporting me I really appreciate it and it keep me motivated to finish this story.
A small service announcement to let you all know that I am on holiday this week so no writing will be commencing. Your next scheduled update will be on the 22nd of November sometime after 8pm UK time.