A/N will be posted at the end of the chapter.
I wake up this morning to loud pounding at the door. I groan and try to cover my ears but the sound keeps getting louder and louder. Eventually, I wipe off my face in an attempt to wake up a little and open the door with a scowl on my face. On the other side of the door is my mom, wearing the same angry look. She looks at me quizzically and then looks around the room until she spots Eric, who is just now getting up and rubbing his sleepy eyes. When he sees my mother, the drowsiness on his face is quickly replaced with a stern expression and he stares at her with no emotion.
"What do you think you're doing with my daughter? Lacy, are you really sleeping around with your brother's killer?" she screams at me. I wince at the words, hearing them for the first time in a long time.
"I am not sleeping around with him. He is the leader of my faction and forced me to sleep in here," I explained to her, feeling panicked to quickly resolve this accusation. I don't want her thinking I would ever forgive Eric for what he did.
"Eric," she spits at him, her eyes hardening when she meets his eyes, "you are not welcomed in this compound ever again. I refuse you to see my daughter."
Eric simply looks at her with a bored gaze and rolls his eyes.
"Enough," he finally shouts, making both my mom and me flinch. "I will do as I please. I am the leader of Dauntless and will not take orders from you," he snaps.
He gives my mom a diplomatic smile as if nothing's happened, and walks past her, his hand wrapping around my arm and pulling me with him. Hearing the words 'brother's killer' makes me remember that night all over again.
Eric pulling Trent, my brother, to Jeanine for being Divergent. I remember my screams as I tried running towards him, but I wasn't fast enough. My brother smiled at me and nodded his head before he was injected with the death serum by one of Jeanine's coworkers. When I saw the life leave his eyes, I screamed out and ran over to the man who gave him the serum, but before I could reach him Eric put his arms around my waist and held me back. I remember the words he whispered to me.
"He asked for this," Eric had said.
I close my eyes tightly before I can think of it anymore. I bite back the tears that have been building up over the past couple of weeks. I want so badly to pull away from Eric and scream and yell and hit him, but I know it's no use. He's the leader. He is the one with strength. He is the one that will get me back to Dauntless.
When I hear the trains, Eric lets go of me hesitantly, obviously worried about me making a run for it. We both start running to match the train's speed as best as we can, and once I'm aligned with a train car, I hurl myself on, Eric jumping in soon after. I scoot myself in the furthest corner away from Eric and bring my face into my knees. I try my best to not think about Trent's death, or that I'm in close proximity with his killer, but it's hard when there's no other distraction. I taste bile in my mouth at the thought of my mom thinking I'm sleeping with Eric. She should know better.
The only reason she would care is because she loved Trent, much more than she'd ever loved me. He was their pride and joy. He was everything I wasn't. Having him taken away from them by his best friend and being stuck with me was their worst nightmare. After that night, my mom and dad commonly voiced that they wished Trent was here rather than me. They said that he deserved to be alive, not me. I got used to their words after a while. I knew they were just as angry as I was. They never thought that I was also affected by Trent's death, though. Probably because it was easier for them to just blame me, but in reality, Trent was the only one in Erudite who cared about me. He would constantly check up on me and excuse our parent's behavior. He was my best friend in Erudite and the only person I had ever loved. Trent always looked out for me and reassured me when I was questioning living in Erudite. He said that factions were stupid and we are all a little bit of everything the factions stand for. I always admired his bravery for not abiding by the faction rules. If only he had known it would get him killed.
That happened when I was 17, a few days before Trent's Choosing Ceremony. A few days before we would never have to see Eric again.
The train slows as we reach the Dauntless compound, and I jump out before Eric, eager to leave his side and go back to Roxxy and Uriah. I slightly ease at the thought of Uriah. He always talked about Dauntless cake, and I wonder if he will be up for giving me some. I rapidly walk away from Eric, but I hear him call for my names. Once, twice.
"Lacy!" he finally shouts and I turn around to face him. I try to look strong and unbothered by what has happened this morning, but something tells me he sees right through that. I cross my arms and wait for him to yell at me or something.
"I need to talk to you." He's looking somewhere behind me.
"I don't want to hear your excuses, Eric," I tell him, his name harsh out of my mouth.
His jaw is clenched so tightly it looks like it might break.
I never found Eric scary. I always thought that I could trust him to protect my brother and me and look out for us since we did the same for him. It's not until now that I realize I need to stay off of his radar. I'm Divergent. My fate could be the same as Trent's. Eric must pick up on my sudden weakness because he looks at me inquisitively.
"Um. I actually have to go. I don't want to miss any of Four's class." I run away from Eric before he can protest, and make my way to the training room.
It's around 8:30 a.m, so I've only missed about an hour of training. When I walk in I see a sign saying that the training class is on the roof, and I make my way up the stairs. As I walk closer I hear loud banging and pops and I get a burst of excitement when I come to the realization that we are learning how to shoot guns today.
Four gestures me over to a target with a gun in his hand. Before he gives me the gun, he shows me how to take it apart and assemble it again. Then he shows me how to stand and shoot. I hear the pop and look at the target, the center of the target pierced with the bullet. He hands me the gun which feels heavier than I would have ever expected. It weighs down my hands a little, but after holding it for a bit I get used to it. Four waits for me to take apart and reassemble the gun before he gives me a nod of approval.
I stand the same way he did, with his dominant foot in front of him. I steady myself and aim for the target. When I pull the trigger, I'm taken aback by the sudden jolt pushing me off balance. Four had warned me about the recoil but I didn't think it would be that powerful. I try to spot where the bullet went, but all I know is that it went nowhere near the target. I take a breath and allow myself to calm down a little. I aim for the target again and prepare for the recoil. When I pull the trigger, I allow my back leg to steady myself and try to keep my arms as straight and steady as possible. I look at the target and see I hit the edge of it.
At least I'm getting closer, I tell myself. After a few more tries, I manage to hit the target. I smile proudly at my progress.
"Good job!" Roxxy exclaims from next to me, and I smile over at her. She has also hit the target and is doing quite well. "You missed the rankings. Two Stiffs went home but we made it! We were ranked 6 and 7 out of 15 people. I think that's pretty good." she explains to me.
I can't help but wonder which one scored higher. I don't want my friendship with Roxxy to be competitive, but it's more for my own pride to know if I need to improve or not.
After what seems like hours of shooting, my eardrums feel like they're about to bleed and I can't stretch out my hands without them cramping up. We are dismissed for lunch and I stretch out my whole body, grateful for the break. Roxxy has a sudden curiosity about what I did at Erudite, but I'm reluctant to tell her about it, just because the whole situation upset me. I just say that I had a medical check-up.
"Did you have to sleep with Eric?" she asks me innocently. I almost flinch at the question. I haven't thought about Eric since I got back, thanks to the distraction of training. I wish I could tell her about me being Divergent and what Eric had done, but it's too dangerous. I eagerly want to ask someone for advice and to confide in someone, but I'm not sure who I can trust around here.
"Uh, yea- I mean, no. We slept in the same room, but I slept on the floor while he got the bed," I tell her while sitting at a table with my lunch.
She snorts.
"That's not very gentlemen of him," she points out, and I shake my head.
"Eric is everything but a gentleman." Suddenly I feel someone's arms around me from behind and I turn around to face Uriah. A smile flashes across my face and I am relieved for the distraction of discussing Eric.
"Hey!" I greet him, and he sits down next to me.
"How was Erudite? You gonna need a heart transplant or something?" he teases me and I throw a french fry at him.
"You wish."
"Why would I wish that?"
"Because then you wouldn't feel as embarrassed that a small girl like me passed you in the ranking," I joke with him.
"Oh, you think you can pass me, huh? Well, guess what? I'm #2 in my class!" he brags, and it's his turn to throw a fry at me. We congratulate him and go back to regular conversation. I begin to decompress as we get lost in our pointless conversations. Something about Dauntless' chaos makes me feel so… at ease. It's quite ironic, but the silence in Erudite always left me antsy and anxious. I was always prepared for the worst, especially after Trent's death. I knew in the depths of that silence cruel things were being planned.
Once we are all done eating our cheeseburgers, we rush back to the training room to shoot some more guns. Roxxy and I are nearly late because we got so carried away with Zeke and Uriah. When we walk in the whole class is there, looking rather anxious. I look around for Four but there is no sight of him.
"Where's Four?" I ask aloud to anyone that knows the answer.
"He's gone for the day. Someone else is going to oversee us until he returns," a tall, muscular guy from Candor says. I nod and sit patiently for the new instructor to come. About five minutes pass until I hear the all too familiar boots stomping on the ground. I sink into the bench I'm sitting on, hoping it will make me invisible. I need to stay off his radar just for initiation. Once it's over I will be free from his presence, hopefully. He comes in with his hands behind his back, soldier-like, and begins walking back and forth, studying us. A couple of people squirm in their seats, visibly uncomfortable with the intimidation.
"Get up," he barks at us, and we all follow his orders without much debate. "I'm going to do something a little different than just shooting guns. I hope you guys didn't wear your favorite shoes, because we're going running," he announces to the class.
A few people groan, and in return Eric glares at them until they whimper off, trying to shrink away from his gaze. He leads our class outside and starts at a steady pace. He yells obscene things at us the whole time to try to get us to go faster. We run for about an hour and a half before we reach the door to the Dauntless compound. I kept up with Eric quite well the whole run but hid behind a few people so I wasn't directly next to him.
When we're done my whole body is covered in sweat and I find it hard to catch my breath. I look over to Eric and he is barely out of breath and I scowl at him while he's looking away. I start feeling a pressure in my chest, but I don't think it's what the nurse in Erudite was talking about. She said I should look out for my chest tightening, but my chest just feels like something is pressed down on it. It's probably because I'm so out of shape. I hold my chest a while longer but am ordered to stop when Eric makes us do an absurd amount push-ups.
"This is ridiculous. We are meant to be practicing firing a gun, not basic cardio," Roxxy protests, loud enough that it catches Eric's attention.
"What was that initiate?" Eric steps closer to Roxxy, his face inches away from hers. I see her swallow and she looks like she's trying to remember how to speak.
"I-um… Nothing," she stutters. Eric narrows his eyes at her and smiles tightly at her.
"You want to practice gunfire? Why don't you? Hit the bullseye three times in a row, and I'll let this little predicament go. If you don't, you can say goodbye to all your little friends. I'm sure factionless has some nice people as well," he says all too calmly. This is when Eric is the most dangerous. I would rather him yell and scream at Roxxy than act so patiently. Roxxy looks as if she's going to cry and I can tell she's going to try to talk her way out of it.
Eric shoves past her and starts heading towards the roof, and we all mindlessly follow. While we were practicing guns today, Roxxy had hit the target about 15 times. In 4 hours. Out of about 100 shots. I don't think Roxxy has enough experience to complete this challenge. I bite my nails and try to comfort her while we walk up the stairs. Eric is already up there waiting for us, a dark look on his face. He almost looks amused by this whole situation.
"Lacy, please talk to him. I can't do it and you know that. He seems to have some sort of soft spot for you, so please, try to convince him otherwise," she begs me just before we reach the roof. I nod at her and think of how I can convince Eric. He has shown no sign of guilt about my brother's death, so I doubt guilt-tripping will work. Before I can think of any other plans, Eric's voice booms.
"Discipling is very important in Dauntless. We train soldiers, not rebels. If you want to question my techniques of training, you'll have to deal with my consequences." I feel Roxxy's anxiety radiating off of her and I step forward towards Eric.
"Roxxy is a great soldier. Just because she crossed you doesn't mean she isn't. You're just mad because someone questioned your ways," I point out. Everyone's eyes turn to me, but I'm only looking at Eric. So far staying off of his radar isn't looking too good.
He sneers at me, jumping off the ledge he's been standing on. He stalks towards me slowly, getting so close I can feel his breath against my cheek.
"Don't test me, Lacy," he growls at me, saying it quietly enough that only I can hear. I grab the gun from his hand and point it towards the target. I fire three times and hit the target on all three, then shove the gun back into his hand.
"This isn't a test for Roxxy's bravery, it's just a scare tactic," I say to him before walking back to Roxxy. Everyone looks at me in awe and I try my best to avoid Eric's death stare.
"Class dismissed for the day. Test me again, initiates, and it will be the last thing you do here," he warns us, and everyone hurries out in hopes of escaping Eric's wrath. No doubt I made him angrier than he already was at me, but I needed to help Roxxy out. I feel her arms wrap around me and she can't stop talking about how thankful she is. I try to smile at her, but all I can think about is what will happen to me when Eric discovers I'm Divergent.
"Get up! We're going on a field trip!" Four shouts from the middle of the dorm. I am absolutely exhausted and I feel like my head has just hit the pillow. What could Four want us to do in the middle of the night?
I hear groans from everyone and we all lazily get out of bed. We get dressed without asking any questions and follow Four through the Dauntless compound. It's not long before I figure out we are headed towards the trains.
It's about a week after my standoff with Eric, and I have gotten a lot of praise for it. People who I've never spoken to before clap my back, others gave me a nod of approval. Even Four talked to me about it and said that I showed real bravery and that we 'need more soldiers like me'. I was slightly uncomfortable with the compliment from him just because Four isn't the type of guy to hand compliments out, but I politely thanked him. He looked pleased with himself afterward, and I had waited until after he turned around to roll my eyes.
Now people are too tired to even acknowledge my existence as we hop onto the train. When we get on I see that the Dauntless borns are here as well, and so is Eric. I feel awkward in his presence like we both know I fucked up. I lock eyes with Uriah and make my way over to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. When I look up I see Eric glaring at us, and I try to ignore it.
"Tonight we are playing a game called Capture the Flag. It's Dauntless tradition and we expect all of you to play it seriously," Four starts and explains how the games work. I eye the paintball guns he referred to earlier and wonder badly much they hurt.
"Eric and I will be team captains and choose our teammates," he says. "Eric, you can go first."
Eric scoffs.
"No please, go ahead," Eric says mockingly. Four rolls his eyes and picks a Dauntless born I've never heard of named Shauna.
"Lacy." Eric calls out my name with no hesitation and I look up at him with wide eyes. He looks as bored as ever and I slowly make my way over to him. I chew on my lip as they continue to announce their teammates and when they're done I'm left with Uriah on my team but no Roxxy. Our team gets off first and we rapidly run away from the train tracks. Eric decided to jump off in the middle of the marsh, near a handful of buildings. The whole team gets together and starts arguing about what to do and I simply stand by and watch.
"We should just raid them and keep the flag here. They won't even have a chance to look for ours," a Dauntless born suggests.
"No, I say we split in half, half offense and half defense. That way we can protect our flag and look for their flag," a girl from my class says. There are a few more ideas before I see a flicker of light on a Ferris wheel over by the abandoned fairgrounds.
"Guys," I mutter, but no one can hear me over their bickering.
"GUYS!" I finally say louder, and they turn their faces to me with a flash of annoyance. "I know where their flag is. It's on the Ferris wheel over there. We can hide the flag inside this water tower right here with a few guards, then the rest of us can raid the Ferris wheel." I suggest, and I see a few heads nod.
"Okay, sounds good to me. Who wants to guard and who wants to raid?" Uriah asks enthusiastically. Before I can offer that I want to raid, all the slots are filled and I'm left with four other initiates guarding the flag.
The group of raiders sprints off towards the Ferris Wheel, hunched over so they don't catch the other team's attention. Now it's just the rest of the guards standing here like sitting ducks, and I get bored very quickly.
"Hey, guys, I'm going to go hide the flag in the tower, okay? Just keep watch and shout if someone is coming," I inform the other guards and they nod their head, pacing back and forth with their guns close to them.
I turn to the water tower, sling my gun behind me and put the flag in my coat pocket. I don't want to make the same mistake the other team did by flashing their flag. I start climbing up the ladder and I allow myself to enjoy the quietness of the night. Ever since training has started I've barely got any peace and quiet. Although I have no problem with the noise and chaos of Dauntless, it is nice to enjoy some silence sometimes.
I easily place my hands on the railings and hoist myself up until I'm at the top. When I reach there, I sit down and hug my gun to my chest. The wind is strong up here, and the cool fall night is biting its way through my close. I lean back against a pole and look up at the stars. I make different patterns out of the alignments, and try to find my name in them. Once I get bored of that, I look over at the Ferris wheel and see if there is any action, but it's far too dark out to see anything that far away. While waiting for some sign of victory in silence, I hear banging on the water tower ladder. My heart pounds at the sudden excitement and I get my gun ready, placing the flag on the other side of the water tower. I point my gun towards the sound and realize it's Eric. I drop my gun and let out a sigh of relief.
"What are you doing up here? You're gonna give me away. Stop making so much noise," I whisper to him and he smirks at me.
"You think someone from down there can hear me walking up the ladder?" I look down and remember how high up we are.
"So? Why are you up here?"
His posture looks slightly more relaxed than normal and his scowl is less harsh.
"Someone needs to guard the flag from up here," he tells me casually, leaning against the water tower. I furrow my eyebrows at him.
"Yea, that's me," I say, gesturing to myself.
Just when I thought I could get some quiet, I think. He snorts and ignores me. I know I'm not winning this one. I sit with a rigid spine, praying this will end soon.
"You don't know the whole story, Lacy," Eric says after a long stretch of silence. My whole body freezes and I glare at him. I'm not entirely sure which story I don't know the entirety of, but I can take a wild guess.
"All I need to know is that you killed Trent." I snap at him. I can't see his reaction in such darkness, but I swear he flinches.
"Get down!" he yells to me, and I realize the reason he flinched was that he got hit by a paintball. Adrenaline courses through my veins and my anger are suddenly replaced with giggles. Such a strong and scary man such as Eric is hurt with paintballs.
He holds my head down and gestures for me to go around the water tower. I put my finger on the trigger of the gun, prepared to shoot anyone that tries to come up. I hear rattling at the ladder and sneakily make my way around it pull the trigger. The paintball hits the person right in the center of their chest. They groan at me and raise their hands to surrender to me. All of a sudden I hear cheering from below the tower and figure out it's coming from our team. I grin down at them and shoot the rest of my paintballs in the sky as a form of celebration.
"Ow!" I hear someone shout from below me, and I try to hide the laugh gurgling up my throat.
This has been the most fun I've ever had. I've never done anything like this before, and if this is what Dauntless is like I can easily see a future here. I make my way down the ladder and everyone below is high on adrenaline and cheering. Our team does an awkward group hug and I see Eric's smirk as Four walks over with a grimace on his face. Uriah picks me up and swings me around, planting a dramatic kiss on my cheek. I try not to giggle.
"Nice going leader," he says to me as he puts me down. When he puts me down it's not until then that I realize how much taller he is than me.
I look up at him and give him a clueless look.
"Oh, that? Pshh, I just did my job that's all," I say as I casually look at my nails. We both break out laughing, full of excitement. Everyone is buzzing with energy as we get on the train, even the losing team.
When we finally arrive at Dauntless, the energy is gone and we all look like zombies. I trudge over to my bed and pass out the second I lay down on it.
A/N: OKAY wow so these next few chapters are about to get REALLY good and I'm very excited to share them with you. I wanted to make this chapter a little longer just because I didn't have anywhere else to fit Capture the Flag into appropriately and this seemed to work out well. ALSO you found out why Lacy is so mad at Eric! Share your thoughts in the reviews!