A/N:
Ahh I got some reviews! Those literally made my day! Thanks to those who wrote them. I'm glad you're liking the story. The future chapters might come out a little later than usual just because all the chapters I've posted so far I've already written a while ago, but now I'm going to be writing while posting, if that makes sense. (it doesn't but oh well). This story is very slow just because I want to build up the suspense and anticipation and structure the relationships well.
Enjoy!
"I told you not to fuck with her Jeanine. That was the deal. She is staying here, in her faction," I hear a voice growl that sounds like miles away. I slowly open my eyes to a blinding white light. I squint at my surroundings, and when I try to move my arm I feel a sharp sensation in it. I look over and see needle stuck in my arm, and a bunch of wires hooked up to my heart. There's a monitor beside me making loud beeping noises, signifying my heart is at a steady rate. I try and sit up slightly, but a burst of pain rushes through my chest.
"Shit," I mutter, and the whole room goes quiet. I flinch right as I say that because I don't want to be pummeled with questions just yet. Four emerges from the corner he was in and walks over to my hospital bed and crouches down next to me.
"How are you feeling? Do you think you can do the fear landscape today?" he asks me, his eyes wide with concern and I manage to nod.
"No, she is not going to do some stupid simulation right now. She needs to rest. She'll be fine in a couple of days, just delay them until then," I hear Eric bark at Four. I squint up at him and he looks absolutely livid.
I close my eyes and try to pretend he's not there. Although I'm not mad at him anymore, I just don't feel like handling his wrath at this moment.
"You know that's not allowed. All initiates are supposed to complete the fear landscapes together, no exceptions," Four argues, and Eric gets right in his face and sneers at him.
"Since I'm the leader here, I will make an exception," he spits at him. Four opens his mouth to say something else, but he's stumped.
"I'll be able to make it. I feel fine, I just had a little pain in my heart, but I'm all good now," I squeak, and everyone becomes silent and stares at me. The nurses look uneasy, as well as Four. Eric simply looks unamused at my statement.
"You didn't just have some 'pain'. You had a tear in your heart, but luckily Eric found you just in time and brought you to the infirmary. Erudite sent their equipment over at Eric's demand and they fixed your heart. They said you are clear to do the fear landscape since it's not a physical activity," Four explains, and I look at him with startled eyes but recover quickly. If I'm fixed, then what's the problem?
"So I'm okay? Great! What time are the fear landscapes?" I ask them, feeling relieved that I don't have to sit around in the infirmary.
"No. You're staying here," Eric orders, and I furrow my eyebrows together in frustration.
"It's my decision to make, and I want to do the fear landscape," I challenge him, and he looks less angry now that I'm looking him in his eyes. In fact, he looks tired, exhausted almost. He puts his head in his hands and lets out an exasperated sigh.
"Bring the fear landscape equipment here," Eric suggests, and I can't help but feel surprised that he actually compromised. I give him a soft smile, and in return he gives me a scowl, narrowing his eyes at me.
"Um, that's not allowed-" Four starts, but Eric interrupts him.
"Shut the fuck up Four," Eric booms, and Four saunters off to the hallway.
"Thank you," I tell Eric, and he grunts in response. Suddenly someone in the corner of the room clears their throat, and I discover Jeanine has been in this room the entire time.
"Hi Lacy. I see our discussion from earlier upset you a little bit," she says, the corner of her lips turning up slightly. I have to fight the urge to rip these wires off me and punch her.
"What are you doing here?" I snap at her, and she feigns that she's hurt.
"You'd think you would respect me a little. I'm the only one keeping you alive right now," she tells me. I feel my face heating up with rage and my fists are in balls.
"Ironic how the only reason I'm being hunted in the first place is because of you," I spit at her. Eric steps in front of me and faces Jeanine.
"Get out," Eric shouts at Jeanine, stepping closer to her. My eyes widen at his orders. Jeanine is not someone who will take being bossed around. But then again, neither is Eric.
"Think about what you're doing Eric. I can take away your authority faster than you can blink," she threatens. I try to hide my snort. She is dumber than I thought if she thinks she can threaten Eric, especially right now.
I look down and see his fists in such a tight ball that his whole hand is white. He takes one more slow step towards her and leans into her.
"Get the fuck out," he says once again, and this time Jeanine knows she's crossed the line. Her face is white and she steps back slightly, obviously not expecting Eric's sudden wrath. She gives him a tight smile and scurries out of the room, leaving Eric and me alone.
"I hate her so much," I say out loud, the words leaving my mouth before I can think about what I'm saying.
"Careful, initiate, she's the person protecting you," he teases, and I allow myself to laugh, even though it hurts my heart a little.
"Eric, I'm sorry-" I begin, but Eric walks over to my hospital bed and interrupts me.
"You are never to speak of what you read. It was not supposed to be read by anyone other than the leaders of the factions," he explains, and I nod at him, feeling slightly disappointed. It would be nice to talk about my brother with someone who actually knows him, maybe better than me. Before I can say anything else, he abruptly walks out, not looking at me or saying anything more.
I let out a groan of frustration, and impatiently waited for Four to return with the fear landscape equipment.
I easily go through my fear simulation, having no trouble slowing down my heart rate. I did my best to face my fears the way a Dauntless would, and when I wake up I feel quite proud of myself.
"Good job. 7 minutes 9 seconds," Four announces and I try hard not to smile. I don't want him thinking I'm getting a big head.
"If you don't mind me asking, what's going on between you and Eric? You guys seem… close," he asks carefully, making sure he sounds casual. In reality, he's probably been itching to get something over Eric for ages now, and he thinks I might be his insider. I shut him down, though. I don't have the time or energy to participate in a stupid feud between the two of them.
"Close? Hardly. We just knew each other from Erudite, but only because we lived near each other," I lie and study my nails. He looks at me warily, hesitating to believe me.
"Interesting. If you two were no more than neighbors, why did he call the best nurses in the infirmary to work on you?" he asks me, obviously not getting the hint that I don't want to talk to him about Eric. It is a bit odd though, even if I do know Eric rather intimately, that he would do such a kind thing. Maybe he feels like since I don't have my older brother anymore, he needs to protect me.
"Four, don't you have other initiates to attend to?" I remind him. He sighs and gets up, nodding.
"Yeah, I actually do, thanks for reminding me. Listen, just, be careful with Eric. He's a little… dangerous," Four warns me, and I try my best not to laugh in his face. He thinks he knows Eric, but he's so wrong. Eric isn't just that dark brooding force that everyone tries to avoid. He's much more than that, and he is definitely not a threat to me. Maybe to Four, but most certainly not to me.
But, instead of laughing in Four's face, I give him the benefit of the doubt and smile at him and express my gratitude. He smirks proudly and I roll my eyes once he's turned around. When he leaves, I close my eyes and enjoy the few moments of silence I can get. The silence almost feels deafening after all the noise my ears had to withstand since initiation started.
The silence comes to an end when I hear a knock on the hospital room door, and without my permission, they open the door and in walks my mother. I grimace at her. Something tells me she's been working with Jeanine all along. I look up at her and she has a sweet smile and gentle look on her face.
I want to smack it off her.
She is an evil woman, and I have no idea why she's pretending to be a good mom right now. She almost let Jeanine take me away. Just looking at her makes my blood boil, especially with her fake kindness spreading across her face.
"Oh Lacy, you're father and I have been so worried about you," she tells me sweetly. I want to punch something so badly right now, preferably her face.
"That'd be the first," I snap at her, and she flinches.
"No need to be so rude. A few weeks in Dauntless and you think you can treat me like that," she scowls at me. I know what she's trying to do. She's trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad. She's done it my whole life. The one time I stick up for myself, she always finds a way to make me want to apologize. Not this time, though. I've had enough of her.
"Just tell me why you're here, mother." She looks away from me and bites her cheek, and I mentally prepare myself for what she's going to tell me. Her uneasiness leaves her expression in a millisecond, and she looks over at me with pure evil intent in her. She looks positively wicked.
"I hate you. I despise you, ever since you were born. You should have died, not my baby. You are my biggest regret and disappointment in life, and I will make it my duty while I'm still working for Jeanine to turn you in and kill you myself," she hisses at me, her words hitting me like a slap to the face. My eyes burn but I blink the pain away before she can see them.
I always knew she hated me, but I never thought she would want to kill me. I've done nothing to make her feel this way. I've always tried to be the daughter she wanted. She always said that I should've been killed rather than Trent, but she's never done anything about it. It hits me suddenly that she was trying to kill me earlier. She came here with Jeanine with the intent of bringing me back to Erudite and executing me. The despair I originally felt at her words is now replaced with a blinding rage.
She waits for me to say something, to cry or argue, but I won't give her the satisfaction. Even if I do want to scream at her and slap her, I know it will just give her what she wants. She wants to make me sad or angry. But I will not give that to her. I yank out all my needles in my arm and remove the wires around my heart and rush out of the room. I never want to see that bitch ever again.
I don't know where I'm going, because I've never gone this deep in the infirmary before, but I just need to go someplace far away from my mother. My eyes wander around for an escape but I get overwhelmed by all the hallways and nurses surrounding me. I can't deal with this shit right now. All of a sudden I feel a big, warm hand grasp around my arm, and I'm being led outside the infirmary. I look back at who's pulling me and it's Eric. I can't help but feel relieved.
Without saying any words to each other, he leads me all the way to the apartment part of the compound and unlocks a door with a key in his hand. He pushes me into the apartment and it takes a little while for my eyes to adjust.
His apartment is beautiful.
He has one huge window on the left of his apartment which replaces a wall, but everything else in the apartment is dark and pristine. It is a large apartment, and the lack of stuff in it makes it look even bigger. He has a tall ceiling, all the walls are painted black, and most of the furniture is either black or dark red. It looks like it's not been lived in at all, despite the books in the bookshelf and boots by the door. I glance around once more, admiring the living room and kitchen, then turn my gaze to an angry Eric. He might as well have steam coming out of his ears because he looks even more angry than earlier.
"What were you thinking getting out of bed? Let alone walking around? You are to stay in bed for the next two days, you hear me? You'll stay in my apartment, away from the stress from the other initiates," he booms at me, and I press my lips together tightly.
I don't feel like getting yelled at right now.
"I can stay in the dorms," I argue, and he physically tenses, but not for long. When he makes eye contact with me, I see his eyes soften and his shoulders loosen up just the slightest.
"No. Just for once in your life, listen to me," he says so softly I'm surprised he's even said it. He must sense my surprise because he stands back up tall and juts his chin out.
"You'll sleep in the bedroom. I have work to do all night anyway," he declares, and I decide it's best not to argue with him again. I am hit with a wave of exhaustion and head to Eric's room without saying another word to him. I enter and shut the door behind me, feeling slightly exhilarated by the amount of privacy I have. For the last few weeks, I've had to be around people constantly, and never got time to myself. Now I have a big room to myself to sleep in peacefully, and I'm actually grateful Eric suggested I sleep in his apartment. I walk to his bed which is very welcoming. It has a big, thick comforter and fluffy pillows. I sink into the bed and curl up into a ball, enjoying the feeling of the soft sheets. I let out a blissful sigh, and fall asleep.
"Lacy. Lacy!" I hear Eric say and I groan at him.
"Eric I'm tired."
For all I know, this could be a dream.
"Lacy, don't you want to wear pajamas to bed?" I hear him ask, his voice filled with annoyance, but I ignore him and drift back to my heavy sleep.
I open my eyes slowly, taking in my surroundings as I wake up from my sleep. I'm not sure what time it is, but panic hits when I think about Four's class. Something tells me Eric wouldn't be kind enough to wake me up to do the fear landscapes.
I get out of the bed, trying to ignore the dull ache in my chest, and walk out the bedroom door. I walk towards the living room, and when I look out the window to see the moon is still out, I finally relax. I look out at the beautiful Chicago at night, the buildings scraping the tip of the clouds, and I'm mesmerized. Or at least until I hear a snore come from behind me. It takes everything in me not to screech, and when I turn around, I see a heavy-sleeping Eric sprawled out on his couch which is much too small for him. Almost all his limbs are hanging off the couch and he looks like he will fall off of it at any second. His lips are parted and his hair is messier than I've ever seen it, even in Erudite. He isn't wearing his usual scowl, and I dare say he looks peaceful. Like an adorable little boy. I quickly wipe off the smile that's come onto my face and look around for things to do.
I look over at the bookshelf and notice he's kept many of the books he read in Erudite. I recognize one he tried to get my brother to read about Greek mythical creatures and another about a creepy clown. I pick out the book about clowns, and when I see the picture on the front of it, I jump, accidentally dropping the book.
"Shit!" I whisper, and I look over at Eric who is now stirring in his sleep. I try not to move at all, worried that he will detect it somehow and wake up.
All of a sudden his eyes slowly open as he wakes up from his slumber, and he squints at me with a confused face.
"What are you doing?" he asks me, and I immediately feel guilty about waking him up.
"I'm so sorry, I couldn't sleep. You can have your bed back, I'll stay on the couch," I tell him.
"Go to sleep initiate. That's an order," he says to me, very unamused. I bite my lip and nod, heading back to his room. I finally look at a clock next to his bed and the numbers read 3:13 a.m. I grimace and hold my head in my lap, silently scolding myself for being so foolish.
I hear a yawn beside me and look over to see Eric walking through the bedroom door with an angry expression on his face.
"Stay or go, I couldn't care less, but I am not sleeping on that couch any longer," he says with a harsh tone and I can tell he's angry that he even slept on the couch in the first place.
He's not the type to be so thoughtful.
I don't bother getting up from the bed. After seeing Eric look mangled on that piece of furniture, I figure I'd have a better sleep in here, even if Eric is by my side. I try to put some space between us, but his figure is much too large to escape from. He spreads his legs once he is comfortable and places a hand over his eyes. I sleep facing away from him, curled up into a small ball in hopes that I could pretend Eric isn't next to me. In a matter of minutes, I fall back to heavy sleep, ignoring Eric's hand touching my back ever so lightly.