A/N: Hey! I'm still around! Just been preoccupied with other things lately. But before 2020 ends, here's a one-shot SpongeBob fanfic starring Squidward Tentacles and featuring the Nintendo Switch. :)

It was a nice day in the underwater city known as Bikini Bottom. So nice, that local resident and known grump Squidward Tentacles decided to take advantage of the state by relaxing in his front yard. As he sat in his lawn chair while wearing sunglasses and holding a reflector, Squidward sighed in relaxation and said, "What a fine day. Hopefully, I can get some peace and quiet out of it for at least 11 minutes." The reason he added that last part is because he half expected his troublesome neighbors SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star to appear and ruin his time in some way, like they always do. But, little did Squidward know, this would be one of those rare occasions where SpongeBob and Patrick's antics would leave a more positive outcome on him.

A whole hour had past, with Squidward still relaxing in his front yard. Nothing had interrupted him. Not SpongeBob and Patrick, nor even some type of random event. This actually surprised Squidward, because for most of his life, so many bad things have happened to him that he had gotten used it by now. So the fact that his relaxation went uninterrupted for more than an hour felt somewhat new to him.

Squidward began to wonder, "While I'm glad to have a decent amount of peace and quiet for once, it's a little odd I haven't heard from SpongeBob and/or Patrick all morning. Maybe they decided to go jellyfishing on this nice day. It does sound like something they would do." He gave a little chuckle at that last statement.

Just as he finished chuckling, Squidward heard some distant yet familiar laughing. Looking to his left, he saw the duo in question walking in his direction. Thinking his moment of peace was about to end, Squidward sighed in disappointment, "Well, it was certainly good while it lasted." However, when SpongeBob and Patrick stopped in front of the former's pineapple house, Squidward noticed they were carrying a few shopping bags filled with items and was actually curious of what they bought.

SpongeBob: "I'm telling you, Patrick, owning a gaming system that's both a handheld and home console is going to be a great experience."

Patrick: "Yeah! And I can also use my new Switch to replace the old broken light switch for my living room."

SpongeBob: "Patrick, I keep telling you it's not that kind of Switch."

Patrick: "Well, they should've picked a better name for it."

Squidward: (walks up to them) "Uh, hey…SpongeBob and Patrick."

SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Squidward! How are you doing on this fine Sunday?"

Squidward: "Surprisingly fine. What have you two been doing?"

Patrick: "We've been shopping at GameStop."

Squidward: "GameStop?"

SpongeBob: "Yeah; the store is having a one-day sale where everything is half-priced. And with the money I've been saving, Patrick and I decided to take the opportunity to buy the Nintendo Switch and some of its games."

Squidward: (confused) "Nintendo…Switch?"

SpongeBob: "Yeah; it's the latest gaming system that's both a home console and a handheld system so you can choose whether to play games on TV or on the go—hence why they call it the Switch."

Squidward: "I see. Wait, since when have you two been into video games?"

Patrick: "Since yesterday when SpongeBob and I decided to check the store out after he finished work."

SpongeBob: "We also saw this flyer about the sale."

SpongeBob reached into one of the shopping bags, took out a flyer, and showed it to Squidward. The flyer was an ad showing the GameStop logo along with some gaming systems beneath it and a tag that said everything is 50% off for one day. The date of the sale was today.

Squidward: "Hmm. That's actually a pretty impressive advertisement."

SpongeBob: "It sure is. And if you're not doing anything today, Squidward, how about you join us? You could share Patrick's controller."

Squidward: (scoffs) "No, thanks. Video games are nothing more than torture devices that poison people's minds and turn them into mindless zombies. Not to mention they are an insult to true art and have absolutely no value. I would rather chew on my clarinet."

SpongeBob: "…Okay. Well, you can keep the flyer just in case you want to at least check out the store."

Patrick: "Come on, SpongeBob! I want to go rescue the princess before the evil monkey takes her to another castle!"

SpongeBob: "You got it, Patrick!"

SpongeBob & Patrick: "Game on!" (Short whoop)

As SpongeBob and Patrick entered the pineapple house, the former unknowingly dropped the flyer, which floated down to the ground and landed right near Squidward's feet. At first, Squidward thought the duo was just wasting a nice day doing childish activities (as pre the norm for them) and decided to go back to his lawn chair. However, after walking only a few feet away from the pineapple house, his curiosity suddenly got the better of him. He stopped for a few seconds, walked over to the pineapple house window, and took a peek.

Inside the pineapple house, Squidward saw SpongeBob and Patrick had already set up their Switch by connecting it to the TV and were sitting on the floor with each holding their own Joy-Cons. He couldn't tell what game they were playing due to the TV facing away from the window and the drowned out indoor sounds, but from the looks on their faces, the duo was certainly having fun with it.

After watching his neighbors playing for what felt like hours (but was really only about ten minutes), Squidward walked away from the window until he looked down and spotted the flyer SpongeBob had dropped on the ground earlier. Curiosity still overcoming him, he picked up the flyer and reread the GameStop sale advertisement on it. After a moment of thinking, Squidward finally made a decision, "Well, I don't have any other plans for today. I suppose checking this place out wouldn't hurt." With that, Squidward tossed the flyer into a nearby bin, briefly went in his house to grab his wallet, got his bicycle, and rode toward GameStop.

When he made it to GameStop some minutes later, Squidward parked his bike on the side and entered the store. Inside, he saw a handful of costumers—teenagers, young adults, and kids with parents—looking around at different games and items. Not quite as crowded as he thought it would be for a store having a sale, but that didn't matter. Squidward began to casually wander around the store until he found the Nintendo section. Once there, he looked at all the products available, including the Switch itself, and picked up one of its games on a shelf to observe.

Just then, someone came up behind Squidward and said without warning, "Can I help you with anything, sir?" This caused Squidward to yelp and nearly drop the game he was holding as he turned around to see who said that. It was a green male fish with brown mop-top hair and blue eyes wearing a GameStop shirt and black pants. On his shirt was a nametag that read "JEFF". Realizing the guy was a GameStop employee named Jeff, Squidward nervously put the game back on the shelf and felt speechless for a moment.

Jeff: "I said, can I help you with anything, sir?"

Squidward: "Um, I'm normally not interested in video games, but I heard there was a sale going on here and thought I would check it out."

Jeff: "First time gamer, huh? What do you plan to start with?"

Squidward: "Something called…the Switch?"

Jeff: "Ah yes; the Nintendo Switch. It's the best-selling game system right now due to being a home console and handheld hybrid—the first one to be so."

Squidward: "So I've heard."

Jeff: "Well, sir, as a longtime gamer and this store's employee of the month, I would gladly guide you through the wonders of gaming." (He gives a weird grin)

Squidward: (slightly creeped out) "Thanks, Jeff, but that won't be necessary; I just want to try the Switch."

Jeff: "…Okay, fair enough. We have a displayed Switch connected to a TV that has free demos of games with ten minutes of playtime." (He points to his right) "It's over there if you want to practice some gameplay before buying anything."

Squidward: "That will do nicely."

Jeff: "Glad to hear, sir. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask me."

Squidward: "I'll keep that in mind."

Jeff left to a different part of the store while Squidward walked over to the TV with the displayed Switch. Once there, Squidward found that no one was playing the displayed Switch, which seemed rather odd considering the system's current popularity, but he didn't think much of it. Observing the screen and scrolling through the free demos with the joystick of one of the connected controllers, Squidward saw that most of them were either adventure or platformer games. One that particularly struck his interest had an image of two mustached fish in plumber outfits—one in red, the other green—in the air and doing jump poses above what looked like a big flat mushroom. Squidward pressed the select button and started the demo.

The moment the demo's title screen came on, Squidward was instantly drawn by the music, because to him, it had a prefect mix of jazz and pop. "Hmm. Something with music like this ought to be good. Or at least decent." When he selected START, the music stopped as the screen went black. After a few seconds, the music resumed as the screen showed a 2D scene of a grassy field with the mustached fish in red standing on the far left. "Not a bad setting to start with," Squidward complimented.

For some seconds, the character just stood there doing nothing. That's when Squidward realized, "This must be where I control the character." He chuckled lightly. "Control, character." After another brief chuckle, Squidward moved the joystick to his right and the character started running in that direction. As the controlled character ran, Squidward encountered a couple of obstacles blocking the way but quickly figured out the jump button and continued on. However, when he came across a strange-looking creature and inadvertently made the character touch it, the main music and screen stopped for a second, and then sadder music played as the character fell off the screen. This confused Squidward at first, "Wait, what just happened?"

Jeff, who happened to be walking by, answered without glancing at Squidward, "Your character died and you have to restart the level." Sure enough, when the screen went white for a second, the scene went back to the beginning of the level. Still not glancing at Squidward, Jeff continued, "If you need help, press the + button on the controller and the pause menu will show you some instructions. Just don't take too long; as I've said earlier, each demo's playtime is only ten minutes. Good luck." With that, Jeff went to a different part of the store, leaving Squidward with mixed emotions. Despite that, he did what the employee said, and after reading the guide for about a minute, continued to play.

For the first couple of minutes, Squidward managed to get the character a little farther in the level than the first time, but kept dying and eventually got a GAME OVER. Squidward got frustrated by this, but managed to keep his anger under control because the losing brought back bad memories of that crane game the Krusty Krab once had; and he didn't believe the technique SpongeBob had taught him that time would help here. In any case, the GAME OVER brought the demo back to the title screen, but Squidward immediately selected START and was back at the beginning of the first level as the same character.

After three more struggles, Squidward eventually got the hang of the gameplay and was able to get much further in the level than before. With all the jumping, attacking, and occasional item collecting, Squidward was actually having fun playing this demo. "This is definitely more tolerable than that stupid crane game," he stated with a grin and soon encountered brick steps leading to the top of a pole. Believing he had finally reached the end of the level, Squidward started feeling excited of what would happen. However, just as his character touched the pole, the screen suddenly faded and a white sign popped up saying "Thanks for playing!" After that, the screen returned to the home page with all the free demos.

This abrupt ending baffled Squidward, who was in a state of shock for a few seconds before turning angry, "What?! My ten minutes can't be over yet; I was just starting to get the hang of this!" He let out a growl and squeezed on the controller before slamming it back on its rack and folding his arms with a cross facial expression.

Jeff—who had been standing behind Squidward without his knowledge just before the demo's 10-minute playtime ended—said, "Well, at least you managed to get pretty far for a beginner." Squidward yelped and nearly bumped into the screen as he turned around to face Jeff.

Squidward: "Are you the only employee in this whole store?"

Jeff: "No. There are two others in the staff room. It's just currently my shift."

Squidward: (sarcastically) "Lucky me."

Jeff: "In any case, since you were starting to have fun with Super Plumber Bros, how about you buy the full version of the game with the Switch? You would get to play it whenever you want for as long as you want."

Squidward: "Not now. I want to continue playing that demo until I find out what happens at the end of the first level!"

Jeff: (rubs the back of his head awkwardly) "Yeah…Not a good idea."

Squidward: "And why not?"

Jeff: "Well…There's this little boy who's been impatiently waiting to play the displayed Switch for the past five minutes, and his mother is pretty…intimidating."

Squidward: "I'm not going to let some brat and his freakish mother stop me from playing here!"

Just then, someone nearby cleared their throat loudly. When Squidward turned to his left, he saw a big purple female fish with short blonde hair and buck teeth wearing a green dress. She was looking at him with mean eyes. Squidward soon realized that this woman was the mother who beat him to a pulp for stealing her son's wagon during the Bikini Bottom community service he was forced to be in ("Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful"). Said son was standing right beside her. Sweating with fear, Squidward chuckled nervously and turned his attention back to Jeff before saying, "On second thought, I'll just buy the game along with the Switch now."

Jeff simply nodded and replied, "Good choice, sir." On that note, Squidward and Jeff left the displayed Switch area for the little boy to play.

A moment later, Squidward had picked up a boxed Nintendo Switch and full version of Super Plumber Bros and was now at the store's counter to buy them. Jeff, of course, was the man behind the counter and scanning the items for their prices. When he added up the numbers on his computer, the total amount (with tax) came to $175.62. Squidward took out his wallet, and to his somewhat luck, he had exactly $176 in it. (He would have more money if Mr. Krabs wasn't such a cheapskate.) Once paid, Jeff put the purchased items and recite in a bag.

Jeff: "Okay, sir, you're all set! And I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is it that got you interested in gaming?"

Squidward: (shrugs) "Eh, I just got curious about the Switch after watching my usually annoying neighbors playing their own earlier today. They told me about today's sale."

Jeff: "Oh, that's nice; wanting to learn about games from friends."

Squidward: "They're much more acquaintances than friends to me."

Jeff: "…Still nice."

Squidward: (picks up his bag) "Well, thanks for the time, Jeff. I'll be going now."

Jeff: "Wait! Before you leave, would you like a GameStop membership?"

Squidward: "Membership?"

Jeff: "Yes. A GameStop membership allows customers to purchase games from any GameStop store with a small discount."

Squidward: "No, thanks. I don't plan on becoming an actual gamer. My only real passion is art and music."

Jeff: "That's cool. Maybe one day, you can have your music and artwork put in future games."

Squidward: (scoffs) "Yeah; that'll happen." (He starts leaving)

Jeff: "Have a good day, and come again soon!"

Squidward: "Don't count on it!"

And so, Squidward exited GameStop, put the bag of purchased items on one of his bike's handlebars, got on, and returned home. Once back inside his house, he immediately unboxed his Switch, and after reading the instructions, set it up to his big TV. Getting comfy on his couch while holding a Joy-Con, he created his Switch avatar and started Super Plumber Bros (which he put in the Switch before turning the console on). He soon found that the full version of the game had more to offer than the demo: an interesting story, more playable characters, more satisfying music, more stylish levels, and more collectables. As he played and got further in the game than in its demo, Squidward was actually having a lot of fun—more so than he ever had in his whole life. "Wow, this is more fun than that imagination box! I could play this all night!"

French Narrator: (reading cue card) "The next morning."

SpongeBob's foghorn alarm went off when the clock struck 7am. The very loud horn woke up its owner almost instantly. SpongeBob turned the alarm off after the third blare, briefly stretched his arms, and then sighed in glee, "Boy, playing the Nintendo Switch with Patrick yesterday sure was fun. Can't wait to play some more after work." With that said, SpongeBob got dressed for the day and did his morning routines before exiting his pineapple house to walk to the Krusty Krab while humming happily. He suddenly stopped in front of Squidward's house upon realizing something, "You know, I haven't heard from Squidward since Patrick and I told him about the GameStop sale yesterday. Maybe I should check on him before I head to work."

SpongeBob walked up to the front door of Squidward's house and knocked on it. "Hey, Squidward! Are you home?" When there was no reply, he knocked again. "Squidward?" Still no reply. Now curious, SpongeBob turned the knob on the door, and surprisingly, it opened (though he didn't really question it). Casually walking inside the house, SpongeBob immediately spotted the back of Squidward's head on the couch. He also noticed the title screen of Super Plumber Bros on Squidward's TV and was quite amazed.

"Wow, Squidward," SpongeBob said with gladness. "You actually went to the GameStop sale yesterday and bought your own Nintendo Switch." He walked up to the TV and stared at the screen. "You even got the popular Super Plumber Bros. That is so—OH MY GOSH!" When SpongeBob turned around to face Squidward, he was horrified to see him in terrible condition on the couch: Squidward's eyes were very bloodshot and he had a goofy smile on his face (with some drool dripping out) while still holding the Joy-Con.

Squidward: (weakly) "Hi, SpongeBob."

SpongeBob: "Squidward! Did you play this game all night?!"

Squidward: "Uh-huh. It's so fun, I couldn't stop." (Chuckles weakly)

SpongeBob: "I agree Super Plumber Bros is the best game on the Switch right now, but you can't play video games for more than six hours straight; it's not good for your mind and body!"

Squidward: "I think this can be an exception."

SpongeBob: "No, Squidward! Snap out of it; we need to go to work today!"

SpongeBob tried to snap Squidward out of his weak state through shaking and a few face slaps, but to no avail. Squidward wanted to remain like this, because despite the consequence, it was one of the rare moments where he felt true joy.

A/N: Funny thing about this story is that I got inspired to make it from a meme I saw on DeviantArt a while ago. :B I initially wanted to get this done around the anniversary SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg passed away (which was Nov. 26). But due to life and writer's block, I ended up finishing it a whole month later instead; a few days after Christmas no less. Part of the reason was because I had difficulty trying to describe the gameplay mechanics of Super Plumber Bros (an obvious parody the Super Mario Bros). Turns out I'm worse at describing that stuff than I am at explaining fight and dance scenes. ^^;

Btw, GameStop employee Jeff is a character I created myself. I thought it be more interesting if an ORIGINAL character tried to help out Squidward instead of a secondary character. In fact, if a character like him appeared in the actual show, I wonder who would voice him. :p

That all being said, I hope you enjoyed this. And have a safe and Happy New Year! :D