Rewritten as of 29/12/2020

I rewrote this whilst drinking G&Ts and generally feeling pretty old, I started writing Unconditionally when I was 13 and I'll be turning 21 in March. Now that's a bruh moment if I ever saw one.

Chapter 3: Crackpots and Idiots

Later that evening...

With Roger patched up and checked for permanent injury, Selene could finally relax and focus on her upcoming sixth year at Hogwarts. As she'd been informed by her father, and alerted to in the Prefect's carriage, Hogwarts would be home to The Triwizard Tournament this year - a mistake if she'd ever heard one, and further proof that Albus Dumbledore was a crackpot. Yes, let's reorganise and hold a deadly tournament that had claimed many, many lives over its 700 plus year career. It hadn't been held since 1792, because of the high death toll, but doing it again 200 years later was a great idea, obviously. Even if her father spouted some absolute shite, his distaste for Dumbledore was becoming more and more true to life.

She was completely lost in her thoughts as she stepped from the train, pulling her robes up above her head to shield herself from the downpour of rain that was so endemic to Scotland. The glinting, welcoming lights of Hogwarts sparkled up ahead, but more tempting was the nearby carriage that Selene made for, speeding her pace up to grab it before anyone else could.

"Hey!"

Selene looked around, pausing her strides to allow the speaker to catch up with her, her expression softening at the person that approached.

"Cedric," she greeted warmly, motioning to the carriage. "As much as I'd love to catch up here-"

"Yes, carriage," the Hufflepuff nodded briskly, speeding up himself and giving Selene's paces a run for their money. "It's tipping it down!"

Selene grinned, nodding at Cedric as he held the door open for her, climbing inside quickly and pulling her robe down again, smoothing down the wrinkles that appeared in this misuse. Her hair stuck up slightly, and she made to smooth it down, glancing in the window of the carriage to check on her progress in taming it. Her normal smooth, blonde hair was darkened slightly by the rain that had gotten to it, so she used a quick Ventus charm to aim a blast of warm air at it.

"Me too," Cedric sat across from her, waiting for her to aim the spell in his direction before settling back into the seat. "Ah, that's better."

"How are you?" Selene pocketed her wand, leaning over to the door to open it again to allow a couple of Ravenclaw second years to join them. "Come in- Letty, isn't it? And Alfred?"

The two younger students nodded, and Selene smiled slightly, pulling her wand out again and aiming the spell in their direction, which they gratefully accepted. "Thanks!" Letty said cheerfully, settling back. "Hi Cedric!"

Cedric grinned and waved, which earned him a blush from Letty (and she, in turn, an elbow to the ribs from Alfred). "Nice hols?" he asked Selene, turning his attention back to her as the two younger students resumed their conversation.

"Can't complain," Selene shrugged, pulling up the sleeves of her robes to show off her tan. "I spent a couple of weeks in Marseille with Fleur and her family - Draco was spitting mad that he didn't get an invite."

"Looking good Malfoy," Cedric winked, chuckling at her responding eyeroll. "Don't give me that attitude! I saw you and Davies earlier - you guys back together?"

Selene scoffed, crossing one of her legs over the other and shaking her head quickly. "I would rather eat a Doxy," she shuddered at the thought of her ill-gotten relationship with her fellow Prefect. "There's a reason we split up, even if he does have a big-" she glanced at the kids, who were absorbed in a conversation about Quidditch. Even so, she gestured to the area in between her legs. "...you know."

Cedric guffawed, although his expression was gentle. "You're too pretty to be single, 'Lene," he noted, adjusting himself as the carriage began to move.

"Don't call me that," Selene pulled a face at her old childhood nickname. "Okay, Ce-dick," Cedric winced at that nickname, and Selene laughed. "You forget that I'm not really in control of my life in that department."

Both being from Pureblood families, Cedric could appreciate the sentiment, but still grimaced. "Still don't get why your family insist on that old tradition," Selene shrugged, but he continued. "Isn't it a bit 1600s?"

"I'm perpetually single, Diggory," she pointed out, glancing out the window to look at the lake, and the sea of boats that floated the new first years across to the castle. "There are worse ways of getting laid."

Their conversation slowed, enjoying each other's company in their silence. The second years were still nattering about Quidditch and the World Cup, and Selene smiled softly as she overheard their conversation about Krum's Seeking tactics, and his epic Wronski Feint.

Cedric looked at Selene then, and she knew what he was asking. She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest and grimacing. Tell you tomorrow, she mouthed, looking sideways at Letty and Alfred.

He nodded back, shooting her a look of sympathy, and Selene bit back a scowl. She didn't need his pity, and if it came down to it she didn't need his friendship either, although it was certainly appreciated. Childhood friends had to stick together, and she wasn't about to be going off rejecting him.

"So!" Selene broke the silence after a while, seeing the castle near from the carriage window. "Cho Chang."

Cedric blushed slightly. "What of her?" he asked nonchalantly, but even in the half light Selene could see his reddening face.

"She has quite the crush on you," Selene smirked as the blush deepened. "Should I encourage her?"

"I... I mean..." Cedric pushed a hand through his hair, not meeting his friend's piercing gaze. "If... If she wants to...?"

"I'll take that as a yes," Selene said, leaning forward triumphantly, patting his knee. "You two would make quite the striking couple."

"I guess," Cedric had more control over his words now, smiling at the second years as they opened the carriage door and ran up the castle steps to get safely out of the downpour. "I mean, we've got this Yule Ball this year."

"Ask her to that, there's a good boy," Selene patted his knee again, before climbing out of the carriage, allowing the rain to get to her out of pure laziness.

"Maybe I wanted to ask you," Cedric quipped, jumping out and conjuring an umbrella from the tip of his wand. "Milady?" he asked, offering his arm to Selene.

"My lord," Selene took it, linking her arm with his. "And please don't, Cho would never forgive me."

By the time they made it to the Entrance Hall, there was a large puddle of water on the floor that nobody had bothered to clear up yet - probably because of Peeves, the Poltergeist, who was lobbing water balloons from atop a perch on one of the statues in the Hall.

"Already wet, aren't they?" he grinned down at the Entrance Hall and threw a water balloon at a few Second Years. "Little squirts!"

"I'm not dealing with that right now," Selene muttered to Cedric, who chuckled, and got rid of the umbrella. They unlinked arms, Selene instead smoothing down her robes again. "Oh! Professor!"

Professor McGonagall was ushering students into the Great Hall, looking increasingly peeved by the situation. She looked up as Selene approached, looking slightly calmer to see two high-ranking Prefects approach.

"Ah, lovely to see you Miss Malfoy, and Mr Diggory," McGonagall nodded approvingly, her mouth set in a thin line as she assessed the damage Peeves was doing to the dryness of both the Entrance Hall and various passing students. Selene was privately rather glad that the Transfiguration Professor was fair, knowing of her distaste for Slytherins (and therefore her brother and the rest of her family). Unlike Professor Snape, she didn't play favourites, and got along rather well with the Ravenclaw girl. "Ah- Diggory, could you-"

"On it Professor," Cedric smiled, waving his wand at the large puddle on the floor. It vanished, and McGonagall breathed an audible sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Diggory - remind me to give you five Points after the Cup starts," she smiled, gesturing to the Great Hall. "Ah, go in, the Feast is about to begin."

"About the Cup, Professor," Selene grimaced, remembering the earlier incident on the train. "There was an issue on the Hogwarts Express - the Weasley twins-"

McGonagall waved her off, her expression dropping again. "I should have known," she said grimly, sighing heavily. "Those boys- how many points?"

Selene paused, about to admit to McGonagall about the amount of points she'd deemed fit to deduct, but bit her tongue. "Fifty," she said, giving the Professor an apologetic smile. "And a detention."

"Very well," McGonagall nodded, waving the two Prefects away. "I'll see to it. Thanks for dealing with them, Miss Malfoy."

"Anytime, Professor McGonagall," Selene responded, although truthfully she would be a lot happier if the Weasley twins moved to a remote island in the Pacific Ocean and never saw her again. "I hope you had a good summer."

Professor McGonagall smiled once more, and gestured impatiently to the Great Hall. "Go on!" she said, before turning her attention to the other latecomers. "Mr Smethwick, please adjust your tie!"

The Great Hall, like for every Welcome Back Feast, was decorated in all of the Hogwarts colours - green, yellow, red and blue. Cedric waved at Selene as he set off to the Hufflepuff table, whilst Selene sat down in her usual place, around the middle of the blue and bronze table designated for the Ravenclaws. The ceiling was thundering, like it was outside, with flashes of magical forked lightning illuminating the twinkling stars and moon every few moments.

"Finally!" Cho heaved a sigh of relief as she sat next to her friend, Marietta sitting across from them along with Leanne, a sixth-year Ravenclaw in Selene's dormitory. "Hit me with one of your Drying Charms! Quickly!"

Selene rolled her eyes but murmured the incantation again, directing the air flow to Cho, and then to her other two companions. After a few seconds, they were all dry, and looking no worse for wear, apart from some slightly frizzy hair and bedraggled looking eyeliner. Cho groaned, predictably, as she was rather attached to her (formerly) pristine hairstyle.

"It's going to be this frizzy all week," she predicted glumly, glancing over to her friend, and stifling a smile. "And I forgot to put my Frizz-Ease Hairspray in this morning. Um... Selene?"

"What?" Selene asked, casting another Drying Charm on her shoes, pulling one of them off to check for any water inside them. "I managed your robes, don't get cocky now."

Cho snorted, holding out a strand of her hair for inspection. "It looks like we've just been fucking in a bush," she said, with a smirk. "My hair is-" She fumbled in her bag, pulling out a small pocket mirror, examining her reflection. "...curly? Oh, this isn't good..."

"Thanks for doing the charm by the way Selene," Selene said drily, ignoring Cho's complaint. "You really helped me not catch hypothermia."

"No problem," Cho grinned, as she smoothed her hair down, muttering a couple of incantations to try and tame it. "How do you manage yours Selene?"

"Genetics," Selene sighed, thinking of her mother and father's almost identical hair - it wouldn't surprise her if they were distantly related, as was the custom in the Sacred Twenty-Eight. "And a lot of luck. How were your holidays Marietta?"

Cho and Marietta were two halves of possibly the girliest girls in the whole of Hogwarts, although you maybe wouldn't expect it from a pair of Ravenclaws. Selene wasn't sure how she had achieved their attention in their first year, but Cho apart from Marietta was perfectly lovely, even if Marietta was about as clever as Professor Snape's nose.

"I can do something about this," Marietta said quickly, pulling out a small bottle, seemingly out of nowhere. Cho leaned forward in anticipation. "Magical Anti-Frizz. My mother got it from Italy."

Cho quickly grabbed the bottle, turning it over in her hands a couple of times. "Can I really use this?" she asked, brow furrowing as she looked through the ingredients. "Fluxweed… This must have been really expensive!"

"Don't worry about it," Marietta waved a hand. "I don't mind. It's to share. I have plenty more at home."

This was how it always had been, and how it always would be. Selene tuned out of the conversation, instead resting her head in her hands and looking over the other tables. Ahead of her she could see the Slytherins, along with her younger brother - who, as always, wasn't looking in her direction. Selene rolled her eyes good-naturedly, knowing that he'd be Owling her for Charms help before the week was up. He was flanked by his two cronies slash best friends, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, who were the two bullies of their year. Draco really knew how to pick them.

Cedric was surrounded by all his Hufflepuff friends on their table, greeting them all with grins and hugs. Not for the first time, Selene noted that if they hadn't known one another as children then she would probably be pining for him, wanting him to ask her to the Yule Ball or take her on a date to Madame Puddifoots'. Urgh, the thought of that just made her groan inwardly. Cedric was attractive, yes, but she didn't like him in the same way that Cho did, by any means.

Then, the Gryffindors. Selene found her eyes drawn to the twins, for the first time, which surprised her somewhat. Having scoured the corridors of the Hogwarts Express for every one of their sweets, Selene's robe pockets were full of the offending Ton-Tongue Toffees, weighing her down. Maybe that was why she was gazing at them now, eyes slightly narrowed, trying to guess which one was Fred and which one was George. Not that it was important, but it would be useful for if an incident like that happened again and she had to recommend either of them to McGonagall for expulsion.

"Ooooh," Cho dropped her voice, bringing her face in closer to Selene. "Who are you looking at?"

"Nobody," Selene shot back, sitting up straighter and trying to ignore her face, which she knew was getting warmer by the moment. "I'm just waiting for the food to arrive."

"Sure," Cho smirked, pointing her finger in the direction of where Selene had been looking. "Have you got a crush?"

"Definitely not," Selene insisted, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand. "I'm just thinking about what I'm going to do with all of these sweets that I confiscated from the Weasley twins."

Cho's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but her surprise disappeared as soon as it appeared, replaced with a wide smile. "The Weasley twins, eh?" she snickered, ignoring her friend's glare. "I've heard they like screwing girls at the same time, if you know what I mean."

Selene groaned loudly, and shook her head. "I do not like them," she sighed. "They're a pain in my arse is what they are."

"Do you want them to be a pain anywhere else though?" Leanne asked cheekily, waggling her eyebrows. Selene glared, and gripped a fork in her left hand.

"I will stab you with this fork," she threatened, although the words were an empty threat.

"A good crop this year," Cho remarked, over her lemon tart. "Do you reckon we'll be able to pull the House Cup this time around?"

Selene shrugged, half-absorbed in her thoughts about the Weasley twins and her possible ways to get retribution on them, from trying to ban them from Hogsmede, to confiscating their Zonko's products, to casting a spell that would make them shit themselves if they set foot in Zonko's at all...

"Maybe," she said idly, taking a last bite of the cake she'd selected for dessert. "Maybe if I get hold of their mother's address, I can tell her that they almost killed Davies."

"She's still thinking about the Weasley twins," Leanne stage-whispered, earning a loud giggle from Marietta. Selene sat up again, fixing her friend with a glare. "What? It's obvious!"

"You could at least pay a little attention," Cho said, just as the plates vanished, and Professor Dumbledore got to his feet. "We were talking about whether we could win the House Cup this year. Gryffindor have won it way too many times-"

"So!" Dumbledore said, beaming around at them. "Now that we are all fed and watered, I must once more ask for your attention, whilst I give out a few notices."

Selene silently crossed her legs over, resting her head on her hands and looking over at the Headmaster. She dropped the fork that she'd been using to threaten Leanne with, and instead focused on not listening to her friends' inane ramblings.

"Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs..."

Selene barely paid any attention, focusing instead on watching the Professors, wondering vaguely what they did on their holidays - Professor McGonagall was still looking rather rattled after the incident in the Entrance Hall. Maybe she had gone on a nice holiday to Barbados. She was looking rather tan. Snape, on the other hand, was still as pale as ever. It was like he'd holidayed in a Muggle freezer.

"...the inter-house Quidditch Cup will not take place this year."

"What?" Roger Davies called out, a sound echoed by most members of all four Quidditch Teams. Selene sat up again in surprise. This she hadn't been aware of. Why were they swapping out Quidditch for a potentially life-threatening dick-measuring contest?

She was not completely aware of the rules of the Tournament, or indeed the reason why it had been stopped (other than the whole people kept dying thing), but Selene was pretty sure that she wasn't going to enter. It sounded far too exciting. And she didn't really want the whole of Hogwarts to realise just how crap at fighting things she was. Too much attention, not her style - she was much happier just passing her N.E. .

There was a deafening rumble of thunder, and Selene jumped. She would have fallen backwards if it hadn't been for Cho's swift intervention. The doors of the Great Hall banged open, and the room turned as one towards the latecomer.

A man stood in the doorway - a man that made Selene's stomach lurch unpleasantly. She knew who he was, alright, and by the looks of things most people did as well. Cho stifled a gasp as the man pulled his hood off his face, and Marietta clutched the table for support.

As the man began to limp towards Dumbledore, his right leg clunking every time it hit the flagstones, there was a flash of lightning that threw the man's facial features into illumination. As he passed Selene, his normal, dark eye flickered to her for a meaningful second, before snapping to the front again. His larger eye rolled around as he moved past, exposing white rather than electric blue, and Selene could tell that he was staring at her.

The ex-Auror Alastor Moody reached Professor Dumbledore and stretched out a scarred hand. Then he stomped over to the empty seat, shaking out his mane of dark grey hair and pulling a plate of sausages towards him.

"Is that who I think it is?" Cho asked breathlessly, her brown eyes as round as saucers.

Selene only nodded, concentrating fully on looking anywhere but at the newcomer, despite feeling like he was staring right at her with both his magical and non-magical eye. Moody had been the one to almost catch her father, and he was no doubt incensed that Lucius had gotten away with it.

"May I introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher," Dumbledore said brightly, into the silence. "Professor Moody."

Selene brought her hands together to clap, but quickly changed her mind when Moody's blue eye whirled to the side, resting on her for a measured moment. She flinched, meeting his gaze for a moment before looking away quickly as her stomach lurched again.

"Now- as I was saying," Dumbledore continued, and everyone's gazes snapped to him once again. "Hogwarts has the honour of hosting a very special event this year, one that has not been held for over a century. It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year."

"You're JOKING!" someone said loudly, and the tension in the room suddenly broke. Selene laughed, shaking her head, looking at the reactions of Leanne and Marietta, both of which hadn't been in the Prefect carriage to find out this tidbit of information earlier.

"I am not joking, Mr Weasley," Dumbledore chuckled. "Although, now you mention it, I did hear and excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag and a leprechaun who all go into a bar-"

"That's impossible," Cho cut in, as McGonagall cleared her throat to cut Dumbledore off. "Hags and Trolls are notoriously elusive, and Leprechauns have been banned from all Wizard-built buildings since the 1400's."

"I know- didn't the Leprechauns at the World Cup have to get special permission?" Selene asked, her attention wandering.

"The Triwizard Tournament," Dumbledore began. "Was first established some seven hundred years ago, as a friendly competition between the three largest European schools of wizardry - Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. A champion was selected to represent each school, and the three champions competed in three magical tasks. The schools took it in turns to host the Tournament once every five years, and it was generally agreed to be a most excellent way of establishing ties between young wizards and witches of different nationalities - until, that is, the death toll mounted so high that the Tournament was discontinued."

Selene shuddered, wishing a little that the Wizarding World could come up with something a little safer for once, like a nice chess game. She had been in the Hogwarts Chess Club since her fourth year, and had improved tremendously.

"I'm not going to enter," Cho said, in a low voice. "No system is foolproof." she added.

Not even the mention of the glory (the prize money meant nothing to Selene, as she came from a family that could bathe in a thousand Galleons if they wished) could persuade Selene to enter. She was happy being under the radar, keeping herself to herself.

But her brother was sure to want to enter. Glory appealed to his very nature, and if he had a chance of getting in he would definitely try.

"Eager though I know all of you will be to bring the Triwizard Cup to Hogwarts," Dumbledore was saying, and Selene raised an eyebrow. "The Heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year. Only students who are of age - that is to say, seventeen years of age or older - will be allowed to put forward their names for consideration."

"Thank goodness," Selene exhaled, thinking of her brother. She glanced over to where Draco was sitting, just to check on him, and smiled fondly as she saw him, obviously complaining to Crabbe and Goyle. Well, at least he wasn't going to be able to kill himself this year, he would just have to focus on his stupid rivalry with Harry Potter.

"You weren't thinking of entering, were you?" Cho asked, smirking at Selene's annoyed expression. "Just kidding, sorry. Don't stab me with the butter knife. This is a brand new robe!"

Selene just shook her head, turning back to Professor Dumbledore in time to hear the latter half of his next, short speech.

"And now, it is late, and I know how important it is for you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow morning. Bedtime! Chop chop!"

As a Prefect, it was Selene's job to help get the new First Years up the stairs to the Ravenclaw Tower, but as she made to motion the eleven year olds up the main staircase, she found herself being pulled back momentarily.

"What is it?" she said moodily, putting her hands on her hips as she turned around to address her way layer. To her surprise, it was a Weasley twin - although which one it was, she had no idea.

"Thanks for only taking fifty points, Malfoy," the twin grinned, using his small amount of height on her to his advantage. "I'd watch out though."

Selene sighed, rolling her eyes, but let her arms drop to her sides. "Watch out for what?" she said with exasperation, raising her eyebrows. "I'm not scared of your pranks, Weasley. They are excessively juvenile."

"Are you sure about that?" The twin smirked, moving away from Selene quickly. The Ravenclaw girl started, feeling a sense of dread for a moment. She started to move towards the twin again, opening her mouth to shout something at him - maybe a curse word, or maybe a hex at his expense, but was interrupted by an intense wet feeling dripping from her head, all the way down to her toes.

The twin burst out into laughter as a series of water balloons exploded over Selene's head, dousing her in green paint. "Look out for that!" he chortled, high-fiving his double, who ran across to him from behind Selene - where he'd clearly been enchanting the balloons to hover above her.

"You look good in green, Malfoy!" the other twin grinned. "Just like your daddy, where you belong."

Selene breathed in, and out, trying to gather her thoughts and her rage. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to find words to adequately express her anger, but felt the paint drip onto her tongue. She retched, ignoring the new chorus of laughs from around her, and instead turned and raced up the stairs, not trusting herself to act like an adult in the face of such utter brats. She didn't answer Cho's calls after her, and focused on getting into her dormitory, and then into the shower, where she turned up the heat on the water and washed away the paint, fists clenched, and holding back the tears that threatened to fall.

Just like your daddy, where you belong.