A/N: This is a long one. Hope you like it!

Ch 5

x

After a short discussion they agreed to take Chloe's car and Beca would just call for a ride when she was ready to leave; despite Chloe's assurance she wouldn't mind driving her back as well.

Chloe had to mentally calm herself down over the fact that Beca Mitchell was in her car; willingly choosing to spend time with her outside of work obligations. Chloe suggested a café she frequented that wasn't far from the studio, but Beca's sigh told her that suggestion wasn't a welcome one.

"Or not," she said; wondering if she'd somehow already ruined the night.

"Sorry," Beca apologized, feeling as though she'd just kicked a puppy. She picked at her nails as she attempted to explain, "I mean, I'd rather go somewhere a little more…low key. You know, somewhere the buzzards aren't hovering around."

"Oh, of course," Chloe realized it was something she should have considered.

Really, Chloe had only been a real paparazzi target for the last year or so, and for the most part she didn't mind them too much. Usually if she just smiled and let them do their thing for a few minutes and they were satisfied. She supposed for Beca it was different, having been such a name for so long. No doubt it was tiring; as evidenced by her demeanor whenever she was caught on camera trying to go about her day.

"Do you have somewhere in mind?" she asked, hoping she could still salvage their outing.

Beca did, in fact, have a destination and the two found themselves at a small bakery. After getting their coffees and some pastries, which Beca paid for against Chloe's argument, they took a table in the back corner.

Chloe glanced around at the warm, quiet atmosphere with a smile. It had a few customers scattered inside, but everyone seemed happy to remain in their own conversations. She turned back to Beca as the girl settled in across from her.

"This is nice," she remarked, "Do you come here a lot?"

Beca shrugged, "Here and there. It's quiet. Sometimes it's nice to just sit, you know? And the employees are cool; they don't make a fuss or anything and I make sure to tip nicely for it."

"That's great. I'm glad you have a place like this," Chloe smiled, "I bet it gets overwhelming otherwise."

Beca just shrugged again and started picking at her muffin.

"So," she started, feeling a little awkward. She wasn't really sure how to talk to a pretty girl without the goal of getting her into bed; especially a girl like Chloe, "Tell me about you?"

She winced upon hearing the words that came from her mouth; it was such a generic question. However, Chloe didn't seem to think so since she lit up and began talking immediately.

"Well, I'm from Georgia, originally. I have a sister, Nicole, who's six years older than me. I did a lot of plays in school and fell in love with it. After high school I managed to convince my parents to take a chance on a crazy dream and a few years later, here I am."

"Cool," Beca nodded and continued to pick at the muffin in front of her. Chloe watched her actions and raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"What are you doing?" she asked, noticing the pile she was creating on her plate.

Beca looked up and then back down at her little project a moment as if she were surprised Chloe noticed. She wiped her hands together and glanced to Chloe again.

"Oh, I um, I'm taking out the blueberries."

Chloe chuckled, "You ordered a blueberry muffin."

"Yeah, I just…I like the flavor, but I don't like the actual berry. Plus, it gives me something to do with my hands," she explained and leaned back in the chair, "I guess it's pretty weird when you say it out loud."

Chloe shook her head, "No, it's not, it's…endearing."

"Endearing, huh?" Beca smirked, "I don't think anyone's ever used that word to describe anything about me."

"Well maybe nobody's paid attention before," she suggested with a bashful grin.

"Maybe," she couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips.

Chloe found herself pulled into Beca's eyes again. There was something that sparked a bit in them. She was realizing quickly that she wasn't having coffee with Beca Mitchell, the celebrity whose work she admired; she was spending time with Beca, the person.

A beautiful person, at that.

She noticed as the electric silence carried on between them, that Beca's own gaze had dropped to her lips briefly. She mirrored the action to Beca's own lips; attacked by the thought of their possible taste. Beca looked away first, breaking the moment and leaving Chloe wanting.

Getting her thoughts under control, Chloe cleared her throat, "So what about you?"

"What about me?" Beca repeated putting a piece of muffin, berries removed, into her mouth.

"What's your story? Parents, siblings, how you knew you wanted to act. Anything," she questioned while taking a sip of her coffee.

"Depends. You want the pretty People magazine version or the real story?"

"Well, I have to admit I have read the official version," she shrugged and smiled nervously, "a couple times."

Beca smirked and leaned forward on her elbows.

"So, you tell me," she challenged with a quirk of her eyebrow.

Chloe laughed and nodded, leaning forward on the table as well.

"Ok," she cleared her throat and spoke through a grin, "Let's see. You're an only child. From Seattle. Parents divorced and you started after an open audition at a community center."

Chloe felt a little silly at having memorized the facts and listing them to Beca like some obsessed fangirl. Beca didn't seem to mind though, so Chloe figured she hadn't embarrassed herself too much.

"So, how'd I do?"

"That's definitely what they printed," she nodded, "It's close enough to the real thing, so I'll give you an A."

"And what is the real thing?"

"Well, for starters, I'm not from Seattle," she said directly, "I'm from North Bend. It's about half an hour from Seattle, pretty small by comparison. My, uh, my mother thought Seattle sounded better to casting agents.

Chloe didn't miss the way Beca's voice shifted when she mentioned her mother. She sounded bitter just saying the word; spiteful even. She wondered what that was about. She assumed they had a fine enough relationship since it was known that the woman was Beca's manager.

"The rest is true, more or less," Beca said looking back to the mess she'd made of her food, "My mom, she would drive us to the city anytime she heard any whiff of a casting call or audition. Didn't matter when it was or if I had to miss school to sit in a room full of hundreds of girls waiting our names to be called just to spend two minutes in front of strangers making snap judgements."

Beca's hands began to fidget, unsure why she'd shared that much with her. The woman was essentially a stranger and here Beca was talking about things she never did to anyone.

"Wow," she breathed out, "Sounds like she really believed in your dream."

Beca snorted.

"Trust me, it wasn't my dream she was pushing," Beca remarked.

"What do you mean?" she asked, though she had a sort of sense that she understood what she was saying.

Beca seemed to realize what she'd said and put it down to the weird feeling in her chest.

"Nothing," she replied, "Ignore me, I'm just tired."

Chloe wanted to ask more about it but decided it was too soon to push. So, she changed the subject and soon enough they fell into lighter conversation about random things. Time passed and soon enough Chloe was shaking her head in disbelief.

"Wait," she said as if it were the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard, "you're saying you don't have social media? Of any kind? Nothing?"

"Nope," Beca confirmed.

"But why not? It's such a good and fun way to connect with people and interact with fans."

Beca shook her head, "I mean, I feel like I've got enough aspects of my life on display. I don't think I need to willingly put any more of it out there."

Chloe nodded as she took in the reasoning.

"I guess that makes sense," she said, "But I love it. I guess that could always change down the line somewhere, but for now, I'm there."

Beca grinned, genuinely fascinated by Chloe's sincere outlook. She let out a sigh, opening and closing her hands around her cup.

"Hey, are you ok?" Chloe asked suddenly, "You look kind of…" she searched for a non-insulting way to describe the way Beca's appearance had slowly changed in the last few minutes, "I don't know, are you feeling ok?"

Beca took a mental inventory of her body at the words. She noticed for the first time exactly how off she had begun to feel. Her hands were a bit jittery; at some point she had apparently begun tearing up a napkin to expel the energy. Her shirt was beginning to stick to her back in patches where she'd started to sweat.

Her eyes widened a fraction as she finally recognized what was wrong. She pulled her hands from the table and hid them from Chloe's gaze. That was something she definitely didn't need to let Chloe in on. Checking the time on her phone she began to panic internally.

No wonder, she couldn't remember the last time she'd gone without for so long. She thought of the pill in her jacket she'd pocketed to hold the edge off until she went out that night.

Chloe waiting at her trailer and their impromptu coffee outing had somehow distracted her and now her body was paying for it. She didn't want to leave her company just yet, but there was no discreet way to get it out and take it without Chloe noticing and taking her jacket to the bathroom with her might seem a bit strange.

"Beca?" Chloe asked; growing concerned as Beca's silence continued.

"Yeah?" she questioned automatically before quickly remembering herself and going on, "Sorry. Sorry, um, it's just, it's getting late and I'm kind of tired, like I said. I think I better head out."

"Oh," Chloe didn't bother hiding her disappointment, but she supposed it had been a long day and there was another waiting for them tomorrow, "Let me drive you back."

"No!" she said too quickly, "No, I'll just get a car; it's fine. I'm not going to the studio, I'll just get a ride back to my hotel. It's fine."

She watched Beca pull out some case and leave it on the table. She couldn't help but notice the way her hands shook as she left the impressive tip. Was she sick?

"I insist," Chloe said standing in her way, "Please, Beca, you don't look well. Let me take you home. Please."

Beca clamped her increasingly unsteady hands into fists to quell their movements. She opened her mouth to decline. She knew she should say no. She had to say no.

Shit, why couldn't she say no to her?

"Yeah, ok," she found herself saying.

"Good," Chloe forced a smile through her concern as Beca put on her jacket.

As soon as she forced her unsteady hands through the sleeves, Beca jammed her hands into the pockets; feeling her heart speed up with anticipation when she felt the capsule in her left. She thought about excusing herself to the bathroom real fast to 'wash up' or even sneaking the pill while Chloe got in the car but dismissed both ideas. She didn't want to risk being caught on the high and make a fool of herself in front of Chloe again.

Even if she was pretty sure her habit was one of the worst kept secrets around, having Chloe witness it would be different than just her hearing about it through rumors and talk. She could hold on a few more minutes until she was alone.

In the car they rode mostly in silence after she gave Chloe the name of her hotel. During that time, she could feel Chloe's eyes moving to her every few seconds, making it all somehow feel worse. She needed a distraction. Swallowing thickly against her dry throat, she managed to speak again.

"We never got around to comparing notes," she said, resting her head against the cool window for relief.

Chloe bashfully grinned to herself, letting her eyes fly between Beca and the road a few times.

"I have to admit something," she started, "I made that up. I just wanted to spend time with you."

"So scandalous," she smirked to herself and raised her head from the glass, "Well I should admit something too. I knew that."

"You did? Was I that obvious?"

Beca nodded with a grin; hoping it didn't look like the grimace she felt on her end.

"Then why did you agree to come? No offense, but you don't seem like you enjoy social stuff too much."

Beca shrugged.

"Maybe I wanted to spend time with you, too."

The smile that blossomed across Chloe's face just then sent a whole new itch of need through Beca; one that had nothing to do with pills. The urge to taste those lips flew through her so fast she nearly gasped in response. Knowing she shouldn't, she couldn't, Beca turned her eyes back to the window and cleared her throat.

"Right here," she pointed to the tall building.

Chloe pulled up to the entrance of the hotel; putting the car in park to turn completely towards her passenger.

"I had fun tonight," she told her, "Thank you for coming."

"Thank you," she replied, "I enjoyed the company."

Chloe blushed and another strong silence settled between them. Beca knew what Chloe was waiting for. She could feel it in the air.

It was electric.

She knew if she were to lean over and kiss her, she wouldn't be rejected. It would probably be amazing. But Beca also knew she wouldn't want to stop at just a kiss if she did. She would want more and she was positive Chloe would be willing as well.

But she couldn't do that to her.

She couldn't taint her like that. Not Chloe. She was still innocent compared to her. She was light and hope and Beca was the opposite of it all. So, she did what was best and ended the moment before she could lose her willpower.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said suddenly; opening the door quickly so she wouldn't have to see the disappointment she was certain would be all over Chloe's face, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Chloe said quietly to the empty car.

She couldn't help but feel let down. She had been sure they'd had a moment there. The kind of moment that lead to something; maybe small, maybe more. But Beca had already said she was tired and she really hadn't looked great towards the end of their evening. Perhaps it was best she just get some rest.

With a sigh, she drove back to her own bed; still optimistic about the positive aspects of the night.

x

x

Inside, Beca watched from the lobby window until the car left. Once it did, she dry swallowed the pill and closed her eyes, waiting for it to take the harshest edges off her itching body. After a moment, feeling the beginnings of relief spread through her, she took out her phone and called for a car. She'd already taken care of one need, now she had to take care of the other.

A short time later, Beca was back among the pulsating music of the familiar club. Plied with alcohol and a couple extra boosts from an always dependable source, Beca easily spotted the last fix she needed. A few flirtations and well played looks were all it took.

Beca found herself back in her room, pulling the clothes off a willing young woman whose hair was a little too red to be natural. Between hard kisses in the darkness and Beca moving them onto the bed, the woman declared breathlessly.

"God, you're hot."

"Mm," she voiced, moving to kiss down her neck as she pressed her down into the mattress, "No talking."

Normally she didn't care, but she was playing with a fragile illusion right then and her voice only ruined the delicate deception. And that night, she needed it as much as the drugs coursing through her body.

X

X

X