A/N: Yes, I'm alive. Yes, this story is still going. Had some health stuff, but you can't keep me down forever!
Ch. 7
x
"Can I ask you something?"
Beca wiped the back of her hand across her lips, removing any droplets of beer that may be lingering there.
"Besides that one?" she
Chloe grinned slightly and propped her elbow on the back of the couch, leaning on her arm and nudging Beca with her foot.
"I'm serious," she chuckled. They'd been hanging out for a while now, drinking and talking about nothing serious. Beca always managing to turn any attempt into a joke. Chloe decided to try again during the patch of quiet that had settled between them on the couch, "A real question, with a real answer. No jokes or sarcastic deflecting. Just…Chloe talking to Beca."
Beca took another pull from the bottle and cleared her throat after swallowing. She didn't know how this would go. She'd already discovered she seemed to have a problem with telling Chloe things she wouldn't normally tell people.
"Ok."
Chloe looked at the woman on the other end of the couch.
"Why do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"All of it. This job, this…life," she clarified, "You just, you don't seem to like it very much. Or at all."
Beca scoffed before she could stop herself, which didn't go unnoticed by Chloe.
"So, why do you? Is it the money?"
Beca looked at the beer bottle in her hand and started picking at the edges of the label.
"Honestly?"
Chloe gave her a small smile, "Please."
"I don't give a shit about the money."
Chloe suspected as much; she'd never seen anything that said otherwise. Beca certainly wasn't the type that threw money around on anything like ridiculously large houses or insanely expensive cars or clothes. From everything she'd ever seen of her, she looked like she could be just any other woman walking down the street. If it weren't for the constant flock of photographers that followed her, that is.
So, no, it clearly wasn't about the money.
"Then why? If you're unhappy, why not stop and do something else? Something that makes you happy?"
Beca remained quiet for a few moments; fingers continuing to anxiously pluck at the drink label.
"I've been…" she sighed, as if the weight of the words were too heavy for her voice to lift and release, "I've been doing this so long, I…I don't know how to do anything. I'm not good at anything else."
"Now that can't be true," Chloe argued, "You can do anything you want. I know it."
"That's sweet, but," Beca shook her head, feeling the alcohol loosen her lips even more, "This is all I have, you know? I don't have anything concrete; only what's next. The next job, the next set, the next flight, the next city. There's always a next. If I don't do this, if I don't have that next, I've got nothing. I am nothing. I mean, that's what she's been saying since this all started, so it's gotta be true."
Chloe's eyebrows lifted in confusion.
"Who?" she questioned; wondering who would drill such a terrible thought into someone's head.
Beca shook her head and released a bitter laugh.
"You know what the irony of it is?" she asked, "Without this I'm nothing, but the more I do it the more I feel exactly that way. Like nothing," she wiped her hand harshly over her face, "But as long as I keep doing it, I'm too busy to think about it."
Chloe was speechless. She'd asked Beca for a real answer, but God she wasn't expecting what she got. Her words, her confession really, had been so genuine; so heartbreakingly raw. Chloe didn't know how to respond.
"Beca, I…"
The woman just shook her head quickly, "No it's ok. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring the mood down so much. Shit," she wiped her face again and kept her hand over her eyes for an extra second to regain control of her thoughts and words, "I'm sorry."
"No, don't apologize. It's fine. I just, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you feel that way, like you're…stuck."
"Well," Beca whispered, shrugging her shoulders and letting it hang.
There was nothing to be done about it. Her eyes drifted across the room and perked a bit when she caught sight of something she hadn't noticed before then. Seeing the opportunity to lighten the mood, she stood up and walked over towards it.
"What do we have here?" She picked up the guitar and came back over to the couch, plopping back down onto the cushion, "You play?"
"Oh God," Chloe said embarrassed as she admitted, "Barely. I figure it would help the resume; you know?"
Beca grinned and held the instrument out towards her.
"Play me something."
Chloe snorted and set her drink down on the coffee table.
"No way," she said with a laugh, "I'm not good enough or drunk enough to play for anyone except the instructor."
"Ok, fine then. I'll be your instructor for tonight," Beca said as she settled the guitar in her lap, "This is an E chord."
Beca stated with a confident smirk and played the note, "There, I taught you something. Don't worry, first lesson's free."
Chloe smiled brightly and sat up straight, "Wait, do you play?"
Beca shrugged, "I told you my dad taught me, didn't I? I might've kept practicing over the years."
"Do you know any songs? Will you play me one?"
"Wait a minute," she chuckled, "I asked you first."
"Yeah, but I can barely put two chords together. If you know actual songs, I think it's only fair," she pressed, "Please?"
Beca felt her heart skip around in her chest at Chloe's plea; how her eyes seemed to get bluer as she widened them to a puppy like fashion. God, she wondered if she'd be able to deny Chloe any request. A song did pop into her head in that moment. One her father used to play; that he'd been teaching her and she'd continued to work on during her sparse time alone. She bit her lip as she glanced down at the polished instrument in her hands.
She cleared her throat and decided to go for it, deciding to share this precious piece of memory with Chloe. Settling into position, she began to strum; playing the simple intro before beginning to sing softly.
'What you looking down for
Staring at the ground for
Had to take the long way home
Always on the sidelines
Always having hard times
Everywhere you go
But if we believed
In all the things they said when we were young
I'd be a broken man
Full of broken dreams
With a broken heart'
Chloe stared, completely hypnotized. Yet again, she'd asked something from Beca and she over-delivered to blow her away. She had no idea Beca could sing so beautifully.
'It's gonna be alright
You're gonna be golden
You're gonna be fallin in love before you know it, kid
It's gonna be alright
You're gonna be golden
You're gonna be fallin in love'
Beca's voice seemed to be going straight into Chloe's heart. Her beautiful voice filled her veins with an incredible sort of buzz. She was practically vibrating as she sat watching her. Beca never failed to surprise.
'Kid when I was your size
Yeah, I had a hard time
Had to take the long way home
Looking over my shoulder
Wishing I was older
Never knew which way to go
But if we believed
In all the things they said when we were young
I'd be a broken man
Full of broken dreams
With a broken heart
It's gonna be alright
You're gonna be golden
You're gonna be fallin in love before you kno- '
Beca's voice was cut off, the guitar letting out a jarring twang when Chloe suddenly grabbed her by the back of her neck with one hand and pulled her in for a searing kiss. Completely shocked, it took Beca a moment to fully comprehend what was happening. Once she did though, she couldn't help but to kiss her right back.
The fire that began brewing in her stomach the moment she saw Chloe exploded through the rest of her body. Her hands went to Chloe's hips and she desperately pulled her closer.
The clunk of the guitar between them prevented the action and Chloe pulled back a moment.
"Oops," she giggled and moved the instrument onto the floor, freeing the space between them, "That's better."
She leaned in again, intent on continuing, but Beca found herself putting her hands on her shoulders and keeping her from succeeding.
"Wait," she said breathlessly, "Just…are you sure? We're drunk and, I mean, we probably shouldn't- "
"I want to," Chloe interrupted; refusing to give Beca a chance to question it, "What do you want?"
Beca swallowed; hearing the arguments in her head for why she shouldn't. Everything she said to Chloe outside was still true. This was a bad idea for a hundred reasons.
And yet…
"I want you," she whispered honestly.
Chloe smiled and moved into Beca again, a bit softer this time but no less passionate. The taste of Chloe somehow simultaneously weakened and emboldened her all at once. It was a high unlike any she'd experienced from any drug and she could already feel herself becoming dangerously addicted.
Like an addict, Beca needed more.
She pressed into the kiss, increasing the intensity. Pulling herself completely up onto the couch and used her body to push Chloe back to lay flat. Now below Beca, Chloe arched her back, pressing as much of herself against her as possible. She needed it. All of it.
She needed her.
Somewhere in her mind, Chloe was aware that this was happening very fast. But she didn't pay any attention to that voice. How could she with Beca filling all of her senses. She felt her hands begin to trail up her sides, her warm fingers sliding over the material of her tank top. The skin beneath it ached to be rid of the barrier between and to feel Beca's touch directly on her skin.
Beca's lips moved to place warm wet kisses along her jaw. Chloe could hear her own heavy breaths echoing back in her ears.
"Beca," she said between breaths, lifting her hips to find friction against her.
"Tell me to stop," Beca answered, her lips moving down her neck to the pulse point, "Tell me to stop and I will."
"Don't," Chloe responded, her own hands tangling into dark hair above her. She pulled it back, lifting Beca's head up and looked into her somehow even darker eyes; licking her lips she spoke almost in a growl, "Bedroom."
Beca pressed another strong kiss onto her lips then pulled back and lifted an eyebrow.
"Lead the way."
Chloe smiled and slid out from underneath her. Grabbing Beca's hand, Chloe pulled her along as she hurried to the bedroom. A laugh bubbled from her chest as she basically ran through the apartment. She stopped at the foot of the bed and spun around.
"Oof!" her breath flew out of her as Beca's momentum knocked them both onto the bed. Beca rolled over to lay on her back as she began to laugh as well.
"Oops," Beca said and turned her head to face Chloe beside her. She noticed the way she was looking at her and wondered, "What?"
Chloe bit her lips as she smiled, "I've never heard you laugh before. Like really laugh."
Beca smirked, "Freak you out, did it?"
"Totally," she teased and wrapped Beca's hand up in her own and tugged on it, "Come here."
"Yes ma'am," she agreed and pulled herself to hover over Chloe again. Propping up with her hands on either side of her, she looked down at Chloe's face, taking in every inch.
"Hi," Chloe said softly, smiling up at her.
"Hi," she returned, her thumb beginning to stroke lightly over Chloe's temple, "Last chance to turn me down."
Chloe reached up to brush Beca's hair back, leaving her hands on either side of her face. Instead of answering, she just pulled her down until their lips met again.
x
Sweat soaked and breathless, Chloe went boneless as she came down from Beca's magic. Still lying between her legs, Beca fell against Chloe, her head settling on Chloe's stomach. She slid her arms beneath her naked body, wrapping them around Chloe as she rested on top of her.
Chloe somehow found the strength in her weak arm to move it enough to begin running her fingers through Beca's hair on her midsection. Feeling Beca rise and fall with Chloe's panting body.
"That was…" she started, searching for a word that would do justice to the ecstasy she'd just experienced at Beca's skilled hands.
"Thanks," Beca said breathlessly against Chloe's slick skin. She placed a kiss on the skin there before pushing herself up and crawling over her, kissing her way up Chloe's body until she reached her lips.
After putting one more kiss there, she turned to lay beside her, facing the ceiling. Chloe took this as an invitation and rolled over to drape herself over Beca's nude form, nuzzling into her neck with a content sigh. Beca chuckled and wrapped her arm around her, holding her there.
They remained silent for a few moments as their bodies recovered and their breathing returned to normal. After a while, Chloe began to feel a bit self-conscious in the silence.
"What are you thinking?"
"You think my brain is actually working right now?"
Chloe tilted her head to look up at her, "I can practically hear the gears turning."
Beca didn't say anything for a few moments, running her hand up and down Chloe's bare back.
"This is new to me."
Chloe pushed herself up and glanced at Beca.
"No offense, but I don't think that's true at all."
Beca shook her head, her face more serious than Chloe was expecting as she spoke.
"Not that," she said, "This," she gestured between them.
"You mean with a co-worker?" she asked.
"I mean…wanting to stay," she explained, "After."
Chloe smiled softly, laying back down and snuggling into Beca once again.
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*Song Beca sings is "Golden" by Wakey!Wakey! Check it out if ya like cause it's a good'n.