A/N: Nothing fun to say today. The world is crazy. Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other.
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Ch 19
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Beca sat at the vacant table, her leg bouncing quickly beneath the surface. It was the first visit she was allowed and while she was excited to see Chloe, she was also nervous as hell for Chloe to see her.
She'd been a bit of wreck since her session with Dr. Junk the day before. After divulging the story of the day her father left, Junk had given her the 'doctor's perspective,' and it wasn't anything she was prepared to hear. Beca had always held her father in a high regard. Always considered him a good man, a good father, who did right by leaving an unhappy situation. To hear a stranger tell her that was a flawed though was shattering.
Her words had bounced around in her head all night and she woke up with a familiar pit in her chest and an itch in her veins. It had put her in an off-balance mood all day. She knew exactly what would make it better. Of course, she did. Damn it, would it really be so terrible?
Just one little pill? Even half of one? Just to take the edge off the one thing from childhood she'd ever kept on a pedestal being toppled by a few fucking sentences.
Who would blame her? Would it be so terrible?
"Shit movie star," Calamity spoke, appearing at her shoulder as she leaned her chair back enough from her own table to speak to her, "She yours?"
Beca looked where the woman nodded her head and saw the most radiant sight; Chloe walking her way in a brilliant blue dress. The sight of her caused a breath to push by her lips in a mixture of a laugh and a sob.
"No," she said without taking her eyes off Chloe's approaching form, "I'm hers."
"Oh, a poet, eh?" she remarked. A second later smacking her palm against Beca's shoulder and pointed to a blonde who entered the room, "And I'm all hers."
She gave Beca a wink before getting up and meeting her halfway.
Beca, however, remained seated. She was half convinced Chloe would vanish the second she moved towards her. It wasn't until she was at the table, smiling that amazing smile, that she let herself believe she was truly there.
She practically jumped to her feet and instantly wrapped her arms around Chloe, holding on as tightly as she dared and nearly bursting into tears when she felt the embrace returned just as tight. She turned her face into the crook of Chloe's neck and inhaled deeply; tears coming to prickling in her eyes at the familiarity of it.
"You smell like you," she muttered without thinking, hearing Chloe chuckle in response.
"I hope so,"
Beca leaned back momentarily, just long enough to maneuver herself to press her lips against hers in a deep, desperate kiss. Pulling back, Beca laughed nervously and wiped at her watery eyes.
"Sorry. Shit, I'm sorry," she apologized, "I'm a fucking mess."
"Hey," Chloe said softly, brushing some rebellious hair out of Beca's face, "Don't apologize. God, you should've seen me an hour ago, and probably an hour from now actually."
Beca grabbed Chloe's hands and looked down at them, "I've missed you so much," she told her, "God, I want out of here. I want to go home."
"I know you do, babe," she squeezed her hands, "And I want that too. So much. Just remember what you're doing here. This is good for you and you're doing great."
"Doesn't feel like it," she confessed, "Jesus, before you got here, I was thinking about how much I wanted…"
She trailed off and shook her head, ashamed of herself as she said it out loud.
"Beca, it hasn't even been a week yet," Chloe comforted, "You've been living with this for so long, it's not going to magically fix in a couple days. But you're here and you're trying. So, yes, you are doing great."
Beca nodded, looking around self-consciously at the room around her. She badly wished they could do this privately, but that wasn't possible at the moment. She suddenly remembered that Chloe had driven all the way out there and hadn't had a chance to relax yet.
"Here, sit," Beca suggested, pulling out the chair for her before sitting across from her and taking her hand again, "Enough mush. How are you? Are you doing ok? Are they still bothering you? Have you called- "
Chloe smiled, "I'm fine, Beca. Really."
"Ok," she nodded, "Sorry."
"Stop apologizing," Chloe said with a laugh.
"Right," she nodded and kept herself from apologizing for apologizing. Instead she wanted to focus on their time together, "You wanted to tell me something on the phone. Something about Aubrey, right?"
"Right," Chloe said, looking at their joined hands a moment, "I'm…just going to be direct, ok?"
"Ok," Beca said slowly, worried what it could be about.
Chloe took a breath and followed through on her promise to just say that she needed to.
"Aubrey thinks your mom was the one giving you drugs all this time," she blurted out, then winced as she followed it up, "And I'm not sure she's wrong."
Beca was definitely not prepared for that to be what she said. She cleared her throat.
"Are you…asking me if it's true?"
"I am," she said after a moment. When she saw the hesitation on Beca's face, she pretty much knew the answer.
Beca took a breath, letting go of Chloe's hand to anxiously pick at her own fingers.
"It doesn't matter how I got them, does it?" she mumbled, "Doesn't change the choices I made."
Chloe sighed quietly.
"No," Chloe began carefully, "But if she was, she could be very dangerous for you when you're out of here. I don't want her to manipulate you somehow with this."
Beca ran her hand through her hair.
"Chloe, I…" she shook her head, looking down at the table.
"Beca," she began gently, covering her hand once more, "You don't have to protect her. Especially when she clearly hasn't been all that interested in protecting you."
Beca scratched her jaw with her free hand and prepared herself.
"Not at first," she confessed, "After she found out I had been using secretly for about a month…" she paused and shook her head again, feeling stupid, "You know when she caught me high off my ass, I expected her to act…like a mom. Tell me I was going to ruin my life and set me straight. That tough love shit you hear about, you know?"
Chloe swallowed her sadness down; this wasn't about her.
"What did she do?"
"Gave me shit for getting it on my own. Said I was an idiot for risking get caught," she told her, "Leave it to me. That's what she said." She scrubbed a hand over her face and laughed bitterly, "God, is this a visit or one of my therapy sessions."
Chloe recognized the attempt to lighten the mood but couldn't bring herself to let it go so easily.
"Beca- "
"Don't, ok?" Beca interrupted, pleadingly, "Please. I don't, I don't want you feeling sorry for me. I still made the choice. Every time."
Chloe just nodded, "Thank you for telling me that. Trusting me with it."
Beca nodded, "What happens now? What are you going to do with that?"
Chloe shrugged, "I don't know. Tell Aubrey if that's ok. I didn't want to tell you, but Angela threatened a ridiculous lawsuit, so I think it might just be something to make sure she knows we have. Unless there's something specific you want us to do."
"I dunno. I trust you. Just please be careful," Beca warned, "Nothing matters more to her than keeping her status. She doesn't care who she has to step on to do it."
Chloe nodded her promise to do so and pulled Beca's hand up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss against the skin there.
"Is there anything I can do for you? Any way I can help?"
Beca took a minute before answering.
"Aubrey…" she started cautiously, "She good? Like, she looks out for you? For her clients?"
Chloe was confused by the seemingly random question and chalked it up to Beca's always present concern for her. Likely, worried that she might possibly end up in the same situation as her.
"Very much," she said, "You don't have to worry about me with Aubrey."
"No, it's not about that, but I am glad."
"Then what?"
"Just thinking," she started, "I might be in the market for new representation after this. Maybe someone who might be able to take a good look at a current contract."
Chloe smiled gently, "I think something can be arranged."
They spent what was left of the hour talking about lighter topics until it was time for Chloe to leave. Both girls fighting tears as they hugged again.
Even though Chloe promised she'd be back for every visit, and Beca swore to call in the days between, they still kissed as if it would be months without each other. After separating, Chloe's eyes hit the scene behind Beca with a quick laugh of surprise.
"Jeez, should we be upset we don't look like that?" Chloe joked, gesturing subtly for Beca to look where Calamity and the blonde were practically eating each other's faces.
Beca chuckled, "Well, if you want the gossip, half of that is my roommate."
Chloe laughed, "Give me all the juicy details."
They laughed quietly together and put some distance between the other couple so they wouldn't catch on to what was so amusing. As they got closer to the yellow line on the ground where they had to separate, the somber mood of goodbye returned.
"I'll be back before you know it."
"You better, Beale," Beca said with a smirk, "I think I've proven that you've ruined me being on my own."
"You'll do great," she promised as if she had control of it, "Remember, I'm proud of you and I love you."
"I love you," Beca said before they shared one more kiss before Chloe forced herself to actually leave.
Beca watched her go, then got the obligatory search to make sure Chloe hadn't snuck her anything before she could leave as well.
Back in her room, Beca laid flat on the bed, looking at the ceiling. She was surprised that she felt …lighter after telling Chloe about another of her darker secrets. It made her forget, for the moment, about her father and her mother and the lure of the high. Because Chloe stayed. She heard another ugly piece of Beca and she stayed.
Chloe always stayed.
She didn't realize she was smiling. Or that she had started humming a melody to herself; her fingers moving against her stomach as if it were a piano.
Maybe she could get through this and come out the other end to a life that was happy.
X
Back in the city, Angela was staring daggers at her CPA.
"Why is this taking so long?" she asked angrily, "Do you or do you not know how to do your job?"
The man adjusted his glasses nervously in the presence of the imposing woman across from him.
"Well, yes, but, as I warned you, there's a bit of a hold up in that the forms were signed without supervision. Plus, there's, um, some authentication required for the signatures."
"Authentication?" she repeated and then scoffed, "You've been dealing with our contracts for years. I'd hope you know our signatures by now."
"Yes," he nodded quickly, "Which is where the, uh, issue appears."
"Jesus, can you just spit it out?" she asked, "Is there someone who can come in here and translate?"
"Well, see, there's a discrepancy in Ms. Mitchell's signature," he informed, "It doesn't quite match previous signatures we have on file and without a supervised signing- "
"I'm sorry," she said with a laugh, "Are you suggesting someone forged the signature? I can assure you that's not the case. She absolutely signed that."
"It's just, for a transfer this large it would be irresponsible to push it forward without – "
"Irresponsible would be you refusing the documented request of one of the biggest names in this city," she cut in, "Because a blunder like that would certainly get out and ruin the reputation of you and this firm. Are you willing to lose job and any prospect of being hired elsewhere by dragging your feet like this?"
"I mean, I can only do so much myself," he explained, "There's a process."
"Well do what you have to, to assist that process," she said, rising to her feet.
He nodded quickly, "Of course."
"Good," she said, her tone declaring the discussion was finished, "I'll be expecting confirmation in the next few days."
"We'll be in touch," he promised, rising as well and adjusting his suit jacket.
"I'm sure."
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