Whenever I had headaches nowadays they just freaked me out…

Just so the day that I, as I always did- passed Luke's old house on my way home from school.

"Are you sure you can go on your own?" Flynn asked as I was tiredly on my way to leave the school. "I can explain it to Mrs. Harrison, take a break and come with you"

"I'm fine." I packed everything I'd need for the rest of the day's classes and pulled my backpack on. "It's not that bad. I'll just go home, take an aspirin and sleep the rest off."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

Now I regretted what I had told Flynn so badly.

Maybe if I hadn't been on my own Flynn would have been there and she… she just could have gotten help, call my dad or anything.

It was almost by the Patterson's' house that my headache and spinning of my whole world got so bad I almost fainted. I had to sit down on the pavement and put my head in my hands. Upon it all I kept being hit by one wave of nausea after the other and kept feeling as if I was going to throw up.

I had a feeling there'd be something that I could do about it that I'd just forgotten.

If I wanted to, I could probably just shout for Mitch or Emily and they'd hear me…

Well so would anyone else home by the block.

Maybe it was something knowing they were so close I suddenly remembered the day I made sure they saw Luke one last time appear…

And with it something else.

"If there's anything- anything at all. That you can't talk to your family or another friend about. Send one of us a text- write 911 in it and where you are. We'll be right there and pick you up"

I would have liked for dad to be there but he was working three hours away and wasn't about to come home before the day after tomorrow. Carlos had gone with him and Aunt Tia had said something about being buried in paper work.

Maybe Emily and Mitch were away or just as busy as my aunt.

There had been quite a while since Mitch had told me that, what if he hadn't actually meant it but said it for Luke to believe he did?

But I knew I'd need help when the nausea hit me so hard I threw up.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand afterwards, forcing down more heaves down my throat. I didn't have a choice, if nothing else I needed help getting home. And with shaky hands I pulled up my phone from my pocket and, with some trouble and dizziness and more shaking found Mitch's phone number in my contacts.

911, street outside your house

I held the phone in my hand, couldn't bother putting it back into my pocket or bag. And the time seemed to stand still while I put my head in my other hand and tried to fight the pain and nausea.

Not knowing what I was supposed to do, nonetheless say when they came up I heard the door open and close and Mitch and Emily together coming down their driveway, then looked in the direction away from me.

"I'm right here."

The words came out as barely more than a whimper, but I just couldn't get out more than that.

I only looked up on them for half a second, then the light got so bright I heaved and threw up again.

"My dad…" I panted, not looking up again. "…my dad's out of town. Otherwise, I'd ask him… I just need some help… getting home."

"You're not going anywhere like this if your dad's not home…" Emily stroke my back. "Where does it hurt? Your stomach?"

"No…" I whimpered, if it only had been that well this might not have scared me so much. "My head."

Only saying it I just sort of accepted it. And if there was someone, I couldn't lie to anymore it was myself. And I wasn't even able to help it when I started crying.

"You poor thing. Does it hurt that bad?"

The thought passed by that she couldn't even know what it was about. I had never told her, nor Mitch about what had happened.

"My mum…"

I was meaning to go on and say of what, but the words failed me and I couldn't get them out. Still Emily had her hand on my cheek and seemed to sense I was going to continue.

"She died of a stroke."

Emily went pale, she seemed to wonder what she should do for a bit and then looked up on her husband.

"Call 911. The risk of a stroke can unfortunately be genetic."

As if I hadn't been crying already it went louder and I just couldn't help it. The thoughts about the day that mum died mixed with sobbing and still heaving turned into a bad circle and panicking.

"Sch…" Emily sounded far away where she tried to comfort me. "Sch, Julie. Try and take some deep breaths, sch."

As if it only had been that simple to just breathe….

Despite all the noises of the road around me, it was like everything, including Mitch and Emily had disappeared. And all I could hear was the sound of my own heartbeats.

And it was beating hard and strong.

Too hard and strong.

"You poor thing." Emily stroke my back when I had to throw up again. "Mitch?" Her husband was standing a bit away from us, on the phone still with the emergency services. "There's a pack of tissues in the bathroom cupboard. Can you go get it?... He can't really stand it when someone's getting sick. It makes him want to throw up himself… There we go."

Mitch came over, without a word he handed the pack of tissues to his wife, I had to close my eyes and put my head in my hands again.

"It hurts so bad."

"I know sweetie. Here."

When I felt Emily come closer and as she wiped around mouth with one tissue I should probably have done it myself. I wasn't a little child after all. But my head was pounding, I still had to keep my eyes closed and I couldn't even bear looking up.

If I was to get up whenever there was no way I could hove concentration to anything but that…

"You'll see. There'll be someone here to help us soon."

"Here they come…"

Suddenly, just as Emily said that Mitch spoke again, I had to look up and watched as there was an ambulance pulling up and stopping by us. The doors opened and one woman and one man came out, the woman came towards me and the man went towards the back of the ambulance.

"Hello." The woman came over to me and kneeled. "I'm Ruby. You're Julie, right?"

"Yeah."

Well, we can see you've been sick." I moaned. "What else seems to be the problem?"

"Headache…" my voice sounded weak even though I had probably never tried so hard to squeeze it out. "My mum…"

I tried to keep talking but my voice failed me and I couldn't get it out.

"What about her?"

There was a pause, I just couldn't get it out.

"Her mum died of a stroke." Emily answered for me at last.

"I'm sorry about that." Ruby kept going right away and when the man came over he shoved a sick bag in my hand. "Use that if you get sick again… This is James. I'll be with you in the back of the ambulance and he will be driving us. Now… can you stand or should we get the stretcher?"

"I…"

I wanted to stand, not waste a single second or anything. But I just couldn't…

"Here. Let me."

I'd thought it was James from the ambulance, but in fact it was Mitch that had fought his phobia of throwing up and come lift me up and carried me to the stretcher by the ambulance.

Well, this part was great, the moment I had something to get sick in except for on the ground was the moment I didn't have anything left to throw up.

It was lucky for Mitch though.

"Thanks Mitch." I mumbled. "You shouldn't have had to do that."

"Don't worry about it"

"We can't come with you right now." Emily told me. "But we'll go to the hospital. Is there anyone we should call?"

"I… My dad."

The thought passed by that they might not even have each other's' number. That the wisest should have been if I gave my phone to Emily and she could find dad's number in my contacts. But my mind couldn't reach through the pain long enough to think about that.

"See you in just a little while."

When the back door to the ambulance closed, more than anything and more than ever I wanted to scream, rip the seat belts off me and run for all I was worth.

I didn't want to be here and I didn't want to be in this pain. I wanted to be at home, with my mum next to me stroking my hair and promising me everything would be okay.

"Well then, Julie." I was interrupted from my thoughts when Ruby called my name. "You look like you're deep in thought but sorry. I have to bring you back to reality. Are you afraid of needles?"

No. Not this as well!

"Mhm."

"I'm sorry honey." She took out a needle from her bag and some equipment to add to it. "This will be the best and fastest way to treat you. We could give you a pill but as you've already been sick that could risk it only causes for it to come up again. But then, I'll give you some painkillers and that will treat your headache quite right away. And this needle is still better than the headache, isn't it?"

"Yes."

I'd rather go through ten headaches like this than one needle honestly actually. I knew that wasn't what I was supposed to think, but when Ruby wiped the back of my hand and I had to realize that's where the needle would be going it got even worse.

"No." Suddenly I had the energy to and ripped my hand to me. "No. It's already better. I don't need…"

"Honey." Ruby carefully took my hand again. "I see this every day, believe me. I know you don't want it and I can't force you…."

"Ow."

Just as she'd said that she couldn't make me my head pounded worse than ever and I cried out. When I looked up Ruby smiled in distress at me.

"I could put a band aid with a numbing cream on it before the needle. But it won't work for another few minutes and by then we'll be at the hospital."

"Just go." I had to say at last. "Just do it and get it over with."

"This is called Ondansetron" She explained to me. "It'll take away the pain and the nausea and it will work right away. I know getting a needle in the hand is worse than in the arm… I'll leave the needle in so when you come to the hospital, if you need anything else they won't have to put in another one. Okay?"

Not okay!

"Okay."

"Well then. Three, two, one…"

"OW"

When I felt the needle poking through my skin, I couldn't help but to let out a short scream.

"There, all done." Ruby barely bat an eyebrow as she stuck the needle to my hand with a band aid and left it. "Even though you are nowhere near lucky with this, I can tell you a few points you've been lucky." I glared at her. "If glares could kill there wouldn't have been much left of me. But hear me out. First of all, this happened only a couple of blocks away from the hospital. So you didn't have to wait for long for us to get there. For second, James was just talking to someone from X-ray and we'll take you to the ER. But it shouldn't be too long. And third, you are very lucky to have your grandmother and grandfather. They seem like great people."

It took me a second to realize who she was talking about…

"Mitch and Emily aren't my grandparents…" I had to sigh when I lost my breath. "Just friends."

"Oh… well. You're still very lucky to have each other then. Now look at this, we've reached the hospital."

I leaned my head back against the stretcher, it was still hurting and it felt like it was going to explode. But it had already gone away just a little, tiny bit.

"This is where I leave you." A nurse came to the ambulance with a wheelchair, and on shaky legs I managed to stand to first get off the stretcher and then down into the wheelchair. "Get well Julie."

"Hello. My name's Mary." The nurse told me as she pushed the wheelchair through a hallway. "I will take you to the X-ray and get pictures of your head in just a minute. But first, wait here and then…" She took a patient's gown from a shelf in the hallway. "Change into this. Do you need some help?"

"No."

It wasn't done fast at all but I wasn't a baby that needed to be helped changing into the patient's gown. But as I did, I tried not to look up and see the other patients around me. Just as I looked around for just a second, I saw it seemed like there were only old, sick people around me and I had a feeling they were all staring at me.

"There we go." Only seconds after I had sat down in the wheelchair again Mary came up. "Julie Molina?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me your birthday?" I sighed and had to think hard through my spinning mind before I rambled it. "Great. Give me your hand." I held it out and she put a paper wristband with my name and birthdate on. "That's just so we don't mix you up with someone else. Now come on." She took the handle bars on the wheelchair. "You just lean back and relax and you'll see. You'll be home before you know it."

I had preferred to lie down again, sitting up made the headache worse.

"Is the headache any better now or do you need more painkillers?"

I wouldn't have minded more but at the same time I just wanted everything over with.

"It's better." I lied. "What happens next?"

"Next…" Mary took me through another hallway and through the doors to the X-rays of this hospital. "…MRI. Have you been in one of these machines before." She took me into a room that had windows in the walls towards a small office and a big, white… I didn't even know what to call it. But there was a bunk attached to it and in the big, thick circle. "That's a camera. It makes a whole lot of noise when it shoots the picture. But you need to lie absolutely still. You'll get these headphones during it. If you want you can listen to the radio. Do you want that?" I carefully shook my head. "Well then. Come on, lie down and then lie your head down."

There was not one single bit of me which wanted to obey. But if there had been a way for me to just sit here and not move and find out for sure what was going on…

What if this turned out badly? What if it was what I was afraid of?

What if I was heading in the same direction as my mum?

"Do you need some help?"

"No." I mumbled, and slowly stumbled over to the MRI-machine and the bunk on it where I sat and then laid down- thankfully I managed at least getting in the right direction. "Like this?.. What's that? You're holding?"

"This…" What she was holding had one piece that she laid over my forehead and one piece over my chin until it held my head still in a very uncomfortable way. "Will hold your head still so we get some good pictures. Can you still move your head?" I tried to move it from side to side but the mask held it still.

"Barely."

"Good. When you go into the machine you can see us through windows in the wall, over there. We'll be able to see the picture taken but they'll be sent straight to someone better than us who you will see later. And, you can hold onto this button. And wear these headphones. Everything you have to do if you need our help is press that button. And there's a mirror here, you'll see us at all times. Is that all or do you have any questions?"

"That's all."

It came out nothing short of a whisper, the pounding in my head had stopped all along now but had left a weakness and I could hardly push through it. It would have been for the best if I could just fall asleep…

"Here we go then."

The nurse disappeared into the side room I could see through the windows. I heard the two nurses talking to each other but couldn't tell what they were saying. And all of a sudden, the bunk I laid in moved and into the giant circle of an x-ray machine.

This wasn't so…

BOOM

When the machine suddenly started working and there was a boom, I couldn't help but jump. I looked up and into the mirror where I could see the two nurses. They didn't seem bothered by it.

EEEEEEH

And how long would I be lying in this?

What I saw next had me freezing in fear. Where they sat, I saw one of the nurses leaning towards the other. They had computer screens and she pointed to the screen and said something.

But what was it that she saw?

BOOM.

I couldn't help but whimper slightly. But pressed my jaws hard together when there were more noises around me.

BOOM

BOOM

HACK-HACK-HACK

EEEEEEEH

HACK-HACK-HACK

One would think that in the 2020's someone would have come up with an MRI-machine that didn't include all of the noises that- along with everything else made me want to creep out of my own skin.

BOOM

"Just lie still Julie." I whispered to myself. "Just lie still. Just relax."

BOOM.

When it sounded again just as I was trying to calm myself down I couldn't help but whimper and all of me flinched and tried to get out.

"Julie." The noise in the headphones clicked and someone spoke into it as into a phone. "Julie? It's Emily. Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

I would have wanted to actually speak out loud, but my one, short word that I tried to get out only a whimper.

"This will be over so, very soon. But then you need to lie still."

"Okay."

As if I hadn't understood that already, and understood that every second of this would feel like years.

"Should we start over again?"

I wanted to get up and run away. Headache or not.

"Ehrm…" The nurse interrupted. "Let me just remind you, that the sooner we start over the sooner we'll have this done. And that's what we all want, isn't it?"

Sure, it was. It wasn't rocket science that no one wanted this finished more than her.

"So. Should we start over?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to try and keep still?"

"Yes."

"Great work…"

I heard as they turned their microphone off, it sounded like someone hanging up on the phone, then I heard the MRI machine being turned on again.

BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

I didn't mean to flinch and cry out when there were more bangs. And lying still was easier said than done.

"Julie." The banging stopped and Emily talked into the microphone again. "I know it's hard. But you have to lie absolutely still. Otherwise, the pictures end up blurry and they will only have to do it again."

Of course, just like they would with a regular camera, how couldn't I have understood that?

"We're almost finished now. Can you go on?"

I didn't want to say yes for anything in the world.

"Yes."

"You're doing so well honey. Just lie still and we'll be done soon."

It clicked in the headphones again…

EEEEEEEH.

I tensed exactly every little muscle in my body, in one way or the other I was going to get through this.

"Now." I flinched when there suddenly was a nurse's voice in the headphones. "All done. Well done Julie. You can go back to the emergency room right now and a doctor will let you know when we have the pictures from this… And Julie?" I nodded slightly. "It'll be okay."

I wished my mum was here, she was always the one who could make me believe it.

The whole way while Mary lead Emily and myself back towards the emergency room and behind a curtain to a bunk I was trying to think of something to say.

I wasn't so sure I wanted to say anything at all. The headache was almost gone by now despite all the noise in the MRI machine but I felt weirdly weak and if I just could I would have broken down crying- again.

It was just that I knew it wouldn't help anyway. It would probably make my head hurt even more…

At last, I could only think of one thing to say, maybe because it could bring some comfort to Emily who looked so distressed towards me and didn't seem to know what to do.

I didn't want to seem ungrateful for her still…

"Where's Mitch?"

"We tried to call him right away, but your dad didn't pick up. You can't use a phone in this part of the hospital. Mitch stayed outside to try and call him again. Do you want me to go get him?"

"No." I shook my head but it only made the pain worse again. "I'm just wondering. Dad's away for work… If he wasn't I would have called him… I'm sorry for… you know, bothering you."

"Sweetie, you haven't been bothering us. Nowhere near. After all, when we gave you our phone numbers and said you could call us if something happened, we meant it. And we'd rather see that you called us a thousand times rather than having to do this alone once…" Emily silent for a few moments. "I'm so sorry for what happened to your mum."

Maybe one of these days it wouldn't be quite as hard when mum was mentioned as it was right now.

I still felt weak and tired. If someone had asked me a question, I wasn't so sure I'd be able to find my voice and answer. But without Emily having asked I heard myself explaining to her anyway about that terrible night it happened.

"She seemed all normal during the day, working in the flower pots like she always did. Then she suddenly had a headache, she got nauseas and… just like I am now. We thought it was just another migraine. She had had them many times before but then…" My talking went quieter and quieter and the last was only whispering. "It woke dad up when she had a seizure during the night."

I hadn't cried so badly since the funeral but all of a sudden, tears were streaming from my eyes. As I saw in front of me the morning, we had been waiting in the waiting room at the hospital. Only to find out we were very much too late.

I wondered for a second if Emily could see on me, I had never told anyone like this before. Not even Flynn!

"We called 911 you know. We did everything we should have but… but…it was too late… I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry I never told you."

For the first time in what felt like years I could drag myself up until I sat up, and then leaned over the side of the bed I hugged Emily tight- tighter than I had hugged anyone ever since mum died.

"Sch." She comforted as she held me tight. "Sch. Don't you feel like that if something you should or have to tell us."

I had to say I had always felt kind of pressured, whenever family was mentioned or how they talked about Luke. But still I had somehow never what happened to my mum.

"I got you these." Mitch held up one bottle of cola and a pack of gum. "You know… when Luke was little and had the stomach flu. I think he liked it because that was when he could drink exactly how much he wanted of this and none of us would scold him for it."

"I don't have a stomach flu." I still reached for the bottle. "And I don't feel as sick anymore."

"I know." Mitch sat down on the chair next to Emily. "But I also know that there's a terrible taste in your mouth that won't go away. And coke and gum work way better against it than water."

"You're probably right… did you call my dad?"

"He wanted to come so fast he almost forgot your brother behind so he had to turn back. But he's on his way now and he promised me he'll come rather safe than late."

I put the bottle of cola on the bedside table, I just wished there were ways right now that I could pretend I wasn't feeling awfully in every way possible even though the headache was gone.

I always felt so strangely cold after crying. It was like all heat of my body had run out with tears. There laid a blanket on the foot of the bunk. I took it and wrapped it around my shoulders but it didn't help much.

"You're cold as ice." Barely noticing that I had closed my eyes and lied down I heard Mitch's voice and felt something taking my hand. "Hang on. I'll go see if I can find someone who can do something about that…."

I watched as he went away but there weren't many seconds until he came back with a nurse and a blanket.

"Here… This blanket…" The nurse showed me the blanket and a chord it had to it. "…heats up itself. Patients say it feels really nice."

"Mhm."

"So, here we go."

The nurse spread the blanket over me, I couldn't bother opening my eyes but soon afterwards I felt the heat from it radiating around my body against the cold.

I still couldn't bother to even open my eyes, but I felt Emily stroking my hair and, even though the painkillers and anti-nausea I'd gotten already in the ambulance that was the moment I could feel it having gone as bad as it would and turned.

"Did you fall asleep, sweetie?"

"No."

"You just sleep if you want to. You must be tired. I'll wake you up if there's anything we need for you."

As if I could have.

It was so strange to think that only a few hours ago I didn't know I'd be going by ambulance and end up in hospital before the end of the day.

I wished I could have fallen asleep and make time go by faster than what it did that afternoon. If I could have just closed my eyes and not open them again until this was over and done.

But no matter how much I tried to shut it out I could still hear the noises of the hospital around me. Stressing, alarms going off, that typical hospital smell…

And time ran by just as slowly minute after minute.

"Julie?"

What felt like half an eternity later my dad suddenly came half running and Carlos was right behind him.

"Papi?" Emily took a step back and dad ran straight over to me, he embraced me and I felt in all of me how out of breath he seemed. "Exactly how fast have you been driving?"

"Really fast." Carlos answered the question for him. "If the police would have caught us, we would be in big trouble."

Dad made a grimace but slightly and jokingly slapped the back of Carlos' head. Then dad came over to me and sat down on the bed.

"I'm sorry you had to quit working and just come straight home."

"Don't say you're sorry." Dad ran a hand over my forehead. "You're not warm."

Neither had mum been

I was feeling loads better now than a few hours ago. I did! But still, the thought came to me and I couldn't help or stop it.

Some tears, but right now few and all silent rolled down my cheeks and dad stroke them away with his thumb and then hugged me.

"It's okay." He mumbled. "It'll be okay. You'll see… Oh. What are the news doc?" Dad sat down next to me on the bed and kept an arm around my shoulders and not until then I noticed a doctor had come over to us and even though tried to seem like he was as funny as always there was no way he could hide the worry in his tone.

"Julie Molina?"

The doctor came over and checked the name and numbers on my wristband.

"Yes."

"Birthday?"

With a sigh- I knew he had to do this but I was just too tired to think.

At last dad answered it for me.

"Never in a million years would I forgot that date."

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit better."

"Good… Of course, if this would end up being what you feared, it wouldn't get any better by itself. But now I do understand you had your reasons to believe that it was a stroke. Your mum had one, am I right?" I nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that. Now look." He held the sheets of X-ray pictures in front of me so I could see. "You could see it more clearly if I put it on that light board but this will do. Now, if you'd in fact had a stroke you would have some darker spots. The bigger the spots, the worse the bleeding. But as you can see, there are none."

I looked over the pictures about eight more times, what if they missed something?

"I'm sorry." I mumbled at last, for all of them around me. "I shouldn't have freaked out like that."

"Don't apologize." The doctor sat down on a rolling chair to be at my height instead of looking down on me. "We'd rather see people coming here ten times too many than once when it turns out…" He suddenly silent but we all knew what he meant. "…badly."

The doctor patted my hand, then looked over the pictures of the inside of my brain again. Tired or not, I should have known what would happen next.

"Ehrm… doctor…" Carlos nagged the shoulder of the doctor. "Can I have those pictures when you're finished looking at them?"

"Sure." The doctor smirked and handed him them. "Need to make sure your sister has a brain from time to time!"

"Hey!"

"What? I have sisters too. Now…" He got up and pulled his stethoscope off his neck and put the earbuds into his ears. "Let me have a listen to your thoughts." He put the bell to my head. "…A-ha. Hmm…"

He kept going on as if he actually heard my thoughts and was talking to them. Carlos laughed so hard he couldn't breathe and, even though the jokes were about me, couldn't help but giggle too.

"Yeah…" He kept talking to my thoughts. "…I'll make sure they know that… Thank you." He hung the stethoscope back around his neck. "Look! There are absolutely no reason to believe you had a stroke. But a whole of reasons to believe you had a migraine. And that was scary, it's ought to be. And after all, we've decided to keep you here for the night. Just in case."

But just in case of what?

"But nothing out of the ordinary will happen. Believe me. And you'll wake up as healthily as always in the morning and then you can go home."

I tried to smile, but it probably ended up of a half-hearted grimace even though I felt the worry running off me.

"I'll go see if I can find a softer and more comfortable bed for you to stay in."

The doctor left again, I leaned my head to the side against dad's shoulder and felt it move when dad looked to Mitch and Emily.

"I couldn't thank you enough for staying with her until I came here."

I couldn't help but smile, just a little when I thought about the day that Luke had returned and demanded all of us about taking care of each other.

"No trouble at all." Mitch answered, and I hoped for everything in the world he'd be able to remember what lies I had told my dad about where Luke came from and what had happened. "I mean, when our son first le… moved to go half across the earth, to Sweden of all places, and then died…" I breathed out. "There's just been so awfully little to care about ever since he moved."

I had to say he handled that one quite well, even though it was far away from the truth, which I had had to tell Carlos about at last.

"Yeah, Julie told me all about that…" Or so dad thought. "I'm so sorry."

Mitch shrugged slightly and didn't say anything but patted Emily's shoulder- I guess twenty-five years…

Before anyone had the time to say anything else the doctor came back and smiled at me.

"One thing I've learnt in my time as a doctor- and I've been working as one since long before you were born, is what comes as the best kinds of cure. And there are tree things… There's love…" He held up one finger and then nodded to the ones around me. "And you seem to have plenty. Then there's laughter, which was a bit harder, but I'm absolutely certain I heard you giggle while I talked to your thoughts." I couldn't help but smile again. "See? There it is. And third" He held up all three fingers. "Sleep. So, now, I have found a bed in a room where you will be on your own and the nurses are setting it ready for you now. It's room number seventeen…" We could hear the alarm going off again.

Code blue in room number two. Code blue.

Whatever that meant I did not know, but the doctor didn't say another word to us before he turned and ran down the hallway.

"Code blue." Carlos repeated. "It means heart or respiration stops." He made a grimace. "But room number seventeen. You can count to seventeen right?"

I looked around me but couldn't see anything to throw at him so I just stuck my tongue out at him- very mature. I know!

I got up on shaky and weak legs, tried a few steps and decided I could walk down the hallway on my own two feet. Then took the coke bottle and packet of gum Mitch had brought earlier.

"You seem well taken care of." Mitch suddenly said before we were about to go into my room. "Maybe it's time for us to head home."

"Mitch…" Emily sounded weird and peered a bit. "Haven't you forgotten something?"

Emily pointed behind his back. Mitch was still carrying my backpack, in fact he had been since the moment he came here.

"Head…" He knocked his own head. "Clothes, shoes… I think I have everything."

Both Carlos and I had started laughing while Mitch looked over his whole body and still missed what he'd forgotten, even though he must feel it there quite some.

"What?" Mitch raised an eyebrow and he didn't laugh with us. "You're being mean! You know what I've forgotten, are you holding onto something?" Carlos laughed so hard he couldn't sit up and leaned against dad. Carlos did have a strange way of laughing at everything there was to laugh about. "What?"

Maybe it wasn't so funny at all, but with what had happened and the relief that came with it anything that came out of the ordinary, especially the confused look on Mitch's face.

"I don't know why you're doing this to me. What do you have against me and going home?"

"Mitch, honey." Emily sighed and slightly shook her head. "This is just like you. You're still holding onto Julie's backpack. I think we should leave it here with her."

"Oh…" Carlos snorted with laughter, Mitch blushed and pulled the backpack off. "I thought there was something that made my neck hurt. Of course. Should I… do you…"

"I can take it." Carlos interrupted when Mitch was confused. "Here… eurgh. Jules? Why is your backpack always so heavy?"

"I know!" Mitch agreed with him. "I've been standing here wondering, did you bring half the school and a horse with you too?"

I just shook my head and leaned tiredly against my dad while Emily sent me a meaning look. Mitch and Carlos and dad was trying to come up with the best way to describe my backpack.

"An elephant." Carlos said at last and snorted with laughter. "A foldable elephant."

None of us could say anything more to see that in front of us.

I still felt terrible but with the news that at least there were no signs of a stroke I could laugh along with them, mostly of relief.

It wouldn't bring my mum back for anything in the world. And nor would I ever stop wishing that I could. But looking around on the other four and feeling dad supporting me where he stood….

At least I'd always have someone to go through everything, no matter how terrible- with.

And I couldn't have been more grateful.

I'm not afraid of needles the tiniest little bit. But getting a needle in the hand- where the skin is so thin hurts way worse than in the arm.

I'm not sure how it works in America and their hospitals with those wristbands and everything. It's got your name, birthdate and four last numbers on it. And every time your doctor/ nurse checks something they ask you to repeat it so it makes sure they're with the right patient.

Random fact

I was choosing a bit back and forth about how Rose should have died. Why Emily and Mitch were going to take care of Julie like this and I had like 1 000 words written. Then all of a sudden, I remembered in the spring, the beginning of May. Not long after the Corona came here, actually my grandpa died- of a stroke. So I decided to go with that. I might write something else where Rose died of something else, only future will tell.

I was originally writing this oneshot in another way. I decided to finish and put up the first version too. It's called "Parents and children"