I'd like to say that after reading Sean's letter I sought him out. I talked over what his words, his assurances, his pain, and how I felt about it all. About him. I'd like to say we made peace, we understood one another. That he and Norman and I figured it all out and we went happily about our lives, together and yet, not together.

That would be complete and utter bullshit. And I try very hard to not lie like a dog. Instead, much like I had before, only on a smaller scale in the sense that I didn't hop on a plane and run for the hills, I started to avoid him. I was given ample room for it. I had only a few scenes left to film, and they weren't as charged as the two that had brought me to two very different places. In fact, one didn't have either of them in it at all. A new type of nerves for that.

When it was time to film my 'solo' scene, without the two of them, I got to watch Mary studying my body in a whole new way. She adjusted the faux stomach, the one that was supposed to add enough bump to my current curves to make pregnancy a bit more noticeable for film. As she adjusted the straps on my shoulders, and tugged and pulled, to make sure it settled as naturally as possible, she sighed.

"You have a kid right?" She asked, grabbing the wrap dress that would cover my faux bump. I nodded as she turned and untied the dress to hand to me to wrap around myself. "I gotta think that you made a gorgeous pregnant woman." I raised an eyebrow, but continued dressing. "I mean look at you, without the glow, there it is. You were born to look perfect pregnant."

I glanced in the full length mirror as the dress settled over my newly ample form. I tilted my head, the extra hair had been braided down my shoulder, and with the simple makeup this character wore, I understood what she was saying. I'd felt so beautiful when I was pregnant, and this time, without the other burdens I'd carried at that time, I could enjoy the look, without the long term responsibility My hands curved around the fake addition and I remembered when I'd do the same with the real one that had housed my son. How I thrilled at feeling his kicks.

"See, that's what I mean," Mary said, standing next to me to make sure that the dress was hanging right. "A natural beauty." I rolled my eyes. "Hey, don't knock it, not all women glow, honey. Some women look and feel miserable from the first moment."

I chuckled and gave her a wink. "I leave it to your disconcerting eye, Mary. And thank you." She smiled back, and I fought another eye roll. "I don't have many days on set left." I sighed.

"Hey, you don't have to go just because you're done, after all, your guy's here." She was smiling, as certain as every other person on set that me and Norman were IT. I wondered briefly what would happen if they all knew. Knew about Sean and I, about that week, about those dueling letters. What would they all think then?

I fought to keep my smile as she deemed me ready to go. I slipped into the ballet slippers that I'd kept off during the struggle to get me looking pregnant and opened the door to go to set. I knew that Norman planned to watch, he had this almost obscene need to see it, to see how I'd look even though I offered to show him pictures from when it was real. For him, this was real, here, seeing it in this atmosphere that had brought us together. I wondered, briefly, as I walked through the crew and toward Duffy's spot if anyone had confiscated his phone just in case.

"Holy shit," Duffy's voice greeted me as I stepped up to him, waiting for direction. "Jesus, you look, wow."

I looked down, trying to see why seeing me like THIS was so fucking amazing. Hell, I'd been basically naked it seemed days ago. Maybe everyone is suddenly baby crazy, I thought shrugging internally. I waited as Duffy reiterated my scene's purpose, basically his version of Marvel's end credit scenes, hopefully setting it up for a fourth movie. Internally I hoped that I'd be recast. I'd had my taste with acting, and honestly, I wanted to get back to writing as I wanted to.

When he called "Action" I did my bit, showing up on the MacManus matriarch's door, clearly pregnant. I interacted with the lovely woman playing their mother, and then "cut" and I turned to see if we'd done well enough to call it a day, for me at least. Apparently we hadn't, so another three takes, had to be attempted before Duffy finally released us from the scene. I turned to find Norman watching from behind a camera, near enough to Duffy that he could have watched me on the monitor, but far enough that he could see us clearly without obstruction.

I smiled and started back to Mary's to get out of my bump. I felt him catch up to me, taking my hand and falling into step with me easily. I felt his attention on me, and waited for him to say something, anything actually. I turned to look up at him and saw his gaze fall to the bump. Yep, baby crazy, I swear.

I stopped walking and turned to face him when he followed suit. "Say it." I said, a smile forming as he took me in up close. "Go on, Norman, say whatever it is that you're dying to say, before you burst."

He bit his lip and then that tongue of his flicked out to give it a swipe. "Just thinking how absolutely fucking gorgeous you look like that." His eyes fell to the fake belly. "It has other thoughts running through my mind." His hands reached out to pull me flush against him. "A lot of other things."

"As long as the things you're thinking about are practice for something with this ending, and NOT a restart." I looked up in time to catch a flash of disappointment. "Norman?" I cupped his cheek. "You don't want more kids, do you?"

Seeing his eyes look away, I felt shock down to my feet. How had we NOT discussed this before? I was in my forties, and he was, he was ten years older. And I knew that men could make babies until the day they keeled over from old age, but seriously? My son was an adult, and so was his. Fuck. Why here, why did I have to bring it up here? He was dressed for a scene, and if I remembered his schedule, then he and Sean were in for a long night. Damn it, he'd have this shit on his brain for hours, and so would I.

"Norman, baby," I forced him to look back at me. "We'll talk about it, I swear we will, later." I reached up on tiptoes, feeling his arms wrap around me automatically and leaning down to meet me. Our lips brushed, and I kissed him trying to convey that I loved him and we'd figure it out. We'd compromise, wouldn't we? I pulled away as I heard Duffy bellowing for him from behind me. "You've been summoned." He nodded and kissed my forehead.

"If you fall asleep before I get back tonight-" he started, but I shook my head.

"I'll wait up for you," I promised, my heart thumping painfully against my chest. "Go, before he screams again."

I waited for a beat for him to walk away from me and then turned to watch. I was hoping that this would be the only time I had to watch him walk away from me.