TITLE: Every Valley
CHAPTER: Complete
Please Note: (Dec 28, 2020) I moved all my stories to An Archive of Our Own. You can find me there as Carleen and or Jaeger Gipsy Danger. See you there!
"Come on, Daisy. We can pull it off. He'll love it."
Daisy shook her head at the young man raking the caps off the store counter. She stayed his hand by wrapping her withered fingers around his.
"MacCready, you don't understand," she said gently and tugged him closer. "You don't know what it was like back then. Green, red, and gold everywhere. Colored lights. Friends and family gathered to celebrate the holidays. Tables covered in food. Food you've never tasted or imagined. And, this—MacCready, you've got to think this through, would be Shawn's first Christmas."
"That was a big deal?"
"A huge deal. I know you don't want to hurt him."
"Aw, Daisy." MacCready scrapped his hat off his head and jammed his fingers through his lank hair.
"Your heart is always on your sleeve," Daisy scolded and gave his hand a squeeze. "I know you're doing it for him. But, MacCready, what do you think he would want?"
MacCready's voice dropped. When it came to Nathan, his heart or whatever was left of it after Lucy's death, filled his chest with emotions he no longer had words for. All those mysterious emotions scared him. Still, there was something instinctive in wanting to share them with Nathan.
I'm not what he needs or wants.
"What he wants is his family back. He wants his son to reappear in that rusted-out crib in Sanctuary. He wants his wife back. You're right, Daisy. We have nothing to give him. Shouldn't have brought it up."
"Come here." Daisy stepped around her counter and wrapped her arms around the merc. "Go love him. Be with him. He counts on you more than you realize."
"I love him so much," he whispered into Daisy's neck.
"I know you do, sweetheart, and he knows it. He just doesn't know how to show it. He's still thinking about that dead wife. Rest her soul."
"I can't be her."
Daisy pushed him away to peer into his face. "Oh, MacCready, of course, you can't be her. You don't know the first thing about laundry or keeping a home." Finally, a smile cracked his lips and chased away the sadness. She poked him in the chest. "But you can be you. Make sure he eats, tease him when he's down, keep him warm at night, and don't let the ghosts get too close."
"Or the ghouls."
Daisy used her thumb to swipe at the tears tracking their way through the grime on the merc's cheeks. "Especially the ghouls."
"Thanks, Daisy. You're the best."
"I know it. Now, get out of here. You're driving the customers away. Go find your man. And, MacCready, let me know what you decide. Be careful out there. Bad storm coming in."
"I will. See you soon." He blew her a kiss and headed out the door into the Commonwealth. Thoughts of ways to make Nathan happy lightened his steps as he made his way through the debris, north toward Nathan.
Most nights, he slept in Shawn's old room. Most nights, he didn't sleep. Especially when he was alone. He forced himself to lay down on the moldy bedroll in Shawn's room and close his eyes. But it's when he's alone that the what-ifs haunt his rest. They circle him like harpies, slashing, and chewing his flesh. He couldn't save his wife and son, so what made the settlers think he could do anything for them?
The last slanting rays of daylight were fading when the sounds of settlers greeting MacCready woke him. He forced his eyes open and found his fist wrapped in his son's blanket. It was the white blanket his mother crocheted for her first grandson. The blanket they wrapped him in when they brought him home from the hospital.
"Hey, MacCready?"
Nathan unwound himself from the floor and got to his feet. MacCready was here. They'd planned to meet up at old Abernathy's place later in the week. Was everything okay? He shouldn't have let him walk by himself from Goodneighbor. What if he were injured? MacCready.
The crowd around the merc parted for Nathan. He noticed as he often did, especially when they had the time and privacy to be alone, that food and exercise had put some weight on the merc. When Nathan was close enough to reach out and touch him, they were the same height now. After the grief and the wretched air of The Third Rail, the merc had actually grown a bit. Back when Nathan had been twenty-one, he'd grown two inches by the time he was twenty-two. Army basic training had filled him out and put muscles on his skinny frame.
A sigh of relief escaped him when his hand found the merc's cheek. "You okay?"
"Yeah, boss. I'm fine," he replied, nuzzling his face against Nathan's hand. "Good to see you, too."
The shouts of children pulled them apart. Before he let him go Nathan grabbed MacCready by the collar and yanked him close. Against his ear the urgency of Nathan's words sent MacCready reeling into his arms, pulling himself against Nathan and burrowing inside his coat.
His heart sang, he does need me. I love him.
"Mister MacCready! Mister MacCready! Please tell us a story! —Please. Nathan says it's Christmas Eve —we have presents —we never had presents before but you gotta tell us a story first! —Please?"
They took MacCready by the hands and led him toward the fire pit dug in the center of town. Chairs and lights surrounded the flames. The scent of roasting meat drifted to his nose. Just before they reached the circle of light and smiling faces, Nathan pulled the merc aside.
"Merry Christmas," he said and kissed him hard and quick. "I have a present for you."
A familiar hand stroked the front of jeans. Ragged nails scratching against the worn denim. "Already seen this, boss. Not much of a surprise."
"You bastard. Now get over there and tell a nice story to the kids." Nathan pushed the merc into a chair and handed him a beer.
He waited for everyone to settle down before he began. "This is a story we used to tell each other back when I was your age. I lived with a bunch of other kids in a place called Little Lamplight. Every Christmas Eve the oldest told this story to the others. Then we'd share all the food and have a feast."
"Tell us the story! Tell us the story!"
"All right. All right. A long time ago a baby was born on a night just like this one, but there were no settlements around to take them in. Finally, they found a small barn…And, there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men. And that's what Christmas is all about (1)."
MacCready finished the story and for a long moment watched their wide eyes and up-turned faces. How long had it been since he'd been apart of a family? Since Little Lamplight, that's when. Too long he'd been alone and now…now things were different. This was the happiest he'd felt in...ever.
A small hand appeared in his peripheral vision with a plate. He accepted the food and tried to see the face of the small child peeking at him from the hood of his jacket. He knew the hands, and the bright blue eyes glittering in the firelight. So much like his Lucy.
Emotion punched him in the chest, took his breath, and burned his eyes. Someone took the plate from his hands so he could reach out. The blood of all the people he'd killed for money, the smell of gun powder, oil, and the empty nights washed from his hands and heart as he pulled his son into his lap.
"Merry Christmas, Daddy."
(1) Linus' King James version scripture reading from Luke 2: 8-14.
"Every valley shall be filled, and every mountain and hill shall be brought low; and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough ways shall be made smooth…" Handel's Messiah. Time: 7:00 "Every Valley Shall be Exalted"
watch?v=bR0cEOTpYSk