Chapter 5
Edward POV
I watched as my love's numb face suddenly filled with shock and panic at the sight of us, and then she passed out. I was in shock. She was in such a state. Malnourished and exhausted and not taken care of…
Jasper appeared and put a hand on my shoulder. "You're going to have to be strong for her, Edward," he whispered to me. I nodded.
I was still standing in shock when Carlisle approached Bella and picked her up bridal style into his arms. "Thank you," he said to the man that had brought her in. Carlisle had already confirmed his guardianship of his daughter, and he was able to do as he pleased. He walked out the doors, through the lobby, and into the parking lot. Once we were outside, Carlisle told me, "Don't look at me like that, Edward. She's fine. Allow her mind to protect itself." He then promptly handed Bella over to me. "Do you have her? Good. Now sit in the backseat of Esme and I's car, so that I'll be there if anything happens." He shot a wary glance at Bella and then got into the car.
Halfway home, Bella's eyes opened and her heart rate increased dangerously. "Carlisle!" I whispered quickly, and so that only vampire ears could hear it.
Carlisle pulled over, got out of the car, reached into the backseat, and took Bella into his arms. "Shh… Shh…" he whispered to her as he cradled her in his arms. "Sweetheart, it's us, your family, and we're taking you away from that awful place." As if on cue, she started to cry. "What's the matter, sweetie? Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't want to go back," she whispered.
"You'll never have to go back there, honey." Esme had appeared at Carlisle's other side.
"I don't want to… to…" and she drifted back into a stress-induced slumber.
Carlisle slipped Bella back into my waiting arms, and as we continued home I said softly, "Do you think that's what she meant? The asylum?"
"I was just thinking about that, Edward," he replied. "No. I think she was talking about Charlie's." I will be the father she never had, I heard in his thoughts.
When we arrived home about five minutes later, I gently placed Bella on the couch, and the family surrounded her, waiting to welcome her into the family with love. After a half hour, however, Bella began to have a nightmare. She wrapped her arms around her torso and began to scream. I quickly focused on Jasper's assessment and fell to my knees. She was suffering badly. He fought to control the emotions in the room, sending wave after wave of calm to everybody in my family, but especially Bella.
Once Jasper had relaxed Bella somewhat, she began to talk in her sleep. I recognized the openness that she usually had. In her sleep was the only time she let down her guard. Carlisle looked at me, scared. I quickly assured him that this is something she always does.
"Please—no! I need this! I deserve this!" she muttered in her sleep. "Don't save me! Let me die!"
There were gasps all around the room. Carlisle put his head in his hands. I remained in the kneeling position in complete shock. My Bella has reached new levels of lack of self-preservation while I was away.
A few minutes went by before she continued in a voice that had given up. "I understand why you're leaving. I'm human. I'm nothing. I only cause pain to people. I don't deserve you. Or Alice. Or Carlisle, or Esme, or Jasper, Emmett…" She sniffled. "Rosalie…" I glanced at Rosalie. She looked genuinely concerned. "Please just… Kill. Me. Now."
Carlisle ran from the room, and Emmett followed soon after. Esme and Alice ran towards Bella and began to hold her hand and stroke her face. Jasper hesitantly approached her and placed a hand on the exposed area of her back, to calm her more thoroughly. Rosalie simply stood in shock in the corner of the room.
I didn't know what to think, or what to do. Would an apology be enough?
Carlisle POV
I ran to my office. I needed to think. Pacing around the room, I began to realize what a serious condition Bella was in. It was much more serious than I was thinking. Other than being very malnourished and sleep-deprived, my daughter was emotionally scarred, not to mention physically. I ran a hand through my hair exasperatedly. In all my years of being a doctor, I've never had a patient in this bad of a condition. And she was family.
Part of me wanted to grab her and take her far away, so that I could privately work with her and sort through each individual issue, but I knew this wouldn't be possible. Edward was very possessive of his Bella, and Esme and Alice would want their share too.
Her physical issues would be easy to work with, I decided. The bigger issue at hand was her emotional condition. Bella has been abandoned numerous times and convinced that everything was entirely her fault not only by the people she counted on most, but by herself as well. Bella has never had a family before, but now she does. And, as her father, I am going to be there for all of the support and comfort that she needs, along with anything else I find necessary.
I heard an increased heartbeat, signaling that Bella was waking up. I ran downstairs to find Bella looking around the room with wide, scared eyes that were quickly filling with tears.
"Bella," Jasper was the first to speak. "Bella, this isn't a dream. I know that you feel as if this is not happening, but it is. You are here, with your family." There was a pause. "Darlin', whatever you're thinking that's making you feel that way, I want you to stop it right now! You are not worthless."
"I am," she said softly. She weakly got off the couch and stumbled to the door.
"Oh, no, you don't," I said before gently picking her up and placing her back on the couch. I held her there with both of my hands on her shoulders.
"Let me go!" She began to cry. "I must have really lost it… These hallucinations can't be good for me they're too real! I don't want to be… alive! I just want it to end!" I loosened my grip in shock and she managed to slip out of my hands and trip twice on her way out the door. Edward seemed to gain his focus and realize what was going on. He stood up and speedily went out the door, coming back in two seconds later with a struggling Bella thrown over his shoulder.
"Bella," I said only loud enough so she could just hear me, "You need to stop struggling and relax so that we can help you—"
"I. Don't. Want. Your. Help." said Bella, who was still struggling weakly in Edward's arms and beating his back with her fists. "Or your pity," she said much softer.
Bella was being very disobedient, but I gained my composure, understanding that all that she's been through is a good enough excuse. For now.
"Bella, I can very easily go and get my medical bag and knock you out with drugs if you don't cooperate."
She winced. "At least I wouldn't feel any more pain." She said it so softly that only a vampire's ears would be able to detect it.
"Oh, Bella," said Esme sadly. Bella stopped struggling and, turning her head into Edward's neck, she began to cry.
Was this a breaking point?