Chapter 8
Bella POV
I awoke slowly and painfully, as if I had been pushing as hard as I could, trying to break through an immovable force. In this place, I couldn't think; I didn't even know who I was. And then, suddenly, it faded, and then it was gone. As soon as I became conscious, I realized what had happened. Jasper must have relaxed his power over me. I lay where I was, eyes closed. I had to come up with a plan before my awareness alerted them. And that was if the past events hadn't been a dream. Or the product of insanity.
First priority: I need to get out of here. Wherever I am, the asylum or the home of the Cullens (I winced), it doesn't matter. I'm alive. While alive, I still have the potential to hurt others and hurt myself. I might begin to trust somebody.
My mind wandered. Why were they doing this? They left me! Obviously I didn't mean anything to them. Like Laurent had said, I was simply their pet. Their distraction, their toy. Why weren't they there when it mattered most?
Those times were gone. There is no reason for me to dwell on the past anymore. My time is up. Now, I just need to focus on existing in the present only and fulfilling my potential.
No, potential isn't the right word. I have no potential.
Anxiously, I opened one eye the smallest bit to see if I was alone. I was. And I was no longer in the living room. I was in Edward's bedroom. They must have relocated me in my slumber.
I opened both of my eyes and looked around. We were on the third story, and there it was. The window.
I did not forget Alice's ability. As soon as I realized I'd made a decision, I quickly ran to do it before I'd waited too long and I couldn't. I wanted to jump out the window.
I reached the window. Using all of my miniscule strength, I wrenched it open and climbed onto the ledge. Esme appeared in the doorway. "Carlisle!" she cried. I scarcely had enough time to recognize her horrified expression before I jumped.
Ooof! I landed painfully in Carlisle's stone arms. I glanced up at his face. His disappointment was so intense that I immediately looked back down. He carried me inside. I didn't know where we were going as we walked up the stairs, but I guessed that we were returning to Edward's room. I was wrong. After he turned a corner and shut the door, I realized that we were in Carlisle's office.
He sat me in a chair, knelt in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. Looking into my eyes, he said, "Bella. What were you thinking?"
I didn't know how to respond, and so I didn't. His voice sounded sincerely worried, and I couldn't help but believe that he cared about me, if only for a brief moment.
"Do you think we are going to leave you again? Is that why you want to leave us first?"
I hadn't thought about it that way before, but I immediately recognized this as the truth. I didn't respond to this either, but he could see the answer in my eyes.
He pulled me to my feet. "Bella, we are never going to leave you."
I didn't say anything.
"Bella, we are never going to leave you," he repeated.
I didn't respond, but found myself taking a step back.
"Bella, we are never going to leave you."
I started breathing faster. This is harsh! What is he trying to do? I took another step back.
"Bella, we are never going to leave you."
Pain ripped through my chest. No, I was not going to allow this to affect me. My next step pushed my back against the wall.
"Bella. We are never, never going to leave you ever again."
That did it. I sunk to the floor, hyperventilating. I pulled my knees up to my chest and began to sob, with my face in my hands.
"Oh, Bella," Carlisle whispered and knelt down to hug me. I found myself leaning into his embrace, relishing the feeling as I continued to sob.
I peeked through Carlisle's arms to see Esme standing in the doorway. "Esme," I heard myself say through my emotional breakdown. "I missed you so much!"
She was next to me in the blink of an eye and joined Carlisle in the hug. When they released me, I found myself blushing as I looked at them sheepishly. "Where are the others?" I asked.
Carlisle glanced at Esme before answering, "They're away right now, sweetie. Before they return, we want you to spend some time with us."
Confused and hurt that they had left without saying goodbye, I looked down at the floor before nodding.
The next thing I knew, Esme had scooped me up in her arms and we were flying downstairs. She set me down at a stool in the kitchen and said, "What would you like for breakfast, Bella, dear?"
"N-nothing, please."
"Now we're not going to do that, are we, Bella?" Carlisle had appeared in the doorway.
"I'm not hungry."
Esme took out a container of apple sauce and poured some into a bowl. After grabbing a spoon, she sat down at the stool beside me. "Bella, it's really important that you eat so that you can get your strength up. Remember, the sooner you're a little better, the sooner the rest of your family can come back home. Now, open wide." She took a spoonful of applesauce and directed it towards my mouth.
I felt a mixture of emotions. She had said "your family". I wanted more than anything to be able to believe that she felt that way. I also felt kind of uncomfortable that she was feeding me like I was some little kid. I could take care of myself.
And yet… the gesture was so tempting. I never allow anybody to take care of me. But it would be nice to be able to let my guard down and let somebody else handle all of my worries.
I knew what I wanted. And for the time being, I decided to forget about what I needed or thought I needed.
I opened my mouth…
Carlisle POV
I couldn't believe I was witnessing this. Bella was cooperating! She was actually doing what she was asked to do, and visibly relaxing! Even without Jasper's ability, I could almost see the joy radiating off my wife as she fed Bella. Now this is a breakthrough, I thought.
I left the room to give them some privacy. I took out my cell phone and dialed Edward's number, just like I'd promised him.
"Carlisle?" he answered on the first ring.
"Edward, I just wanted to let you know that everything is fine. Bella woke up, and yes, there was a teeny problem but it was solved quickly, and now, Esme is giving Bella food."
There was a pause. "What do you mean there was a teeny problem? And what is this about Esme giving Bella food?"
"Edward, I'll make this brief because I don't want you to needlessly worry. Upon awaking, Bella jumped out your window. But I caught her!" I said quickly before he could overreact. There was a deep inhale of breath on the other line and I chose to continue. "And, as for Esme giving Bella food, she refused to eat, but somehow she is cooperating when Esme is spoon-feeding her apple sauce."
There was another pause. "Does she know we're gone?"
"Yes," I said softly. "She was upset."
"We're coming home."
"I don't know about that, Edward…" I gave it a moment of consideration. Edward sounded desperate on the other line. Bella needed Edward. I could really use Jasper's abilities right now to help Bella… And she could really use Alice as a best friend for support. Emmett and Rosalie needed to be here to complete the family and be siblings to Bella.
Edward seemed to know what I was thinking, like always. "Carlisle, she needs us! We need her. Please."
"Alright, Edward, but please remind your siblings to not be too exuberant. She's in a fragile state."
I hung up, smiling. I was worrying too much. It doesn't all have to be on my shoulders. Everything is going to be alright.