Chapter 10

Jasper POV

We were running home at a slower pace than usual for two reasons. First of all, Carlisle and Esme had requested some extra time with Bella before we arrived. The second reason was not mine to share with my family, although it was quite obvious, in my opinion. Edward was lagging behind because he was torn between his two sides of reasoning. Of course, my ability couldn't see the reasoning behind these feelings but I had a theory: On instinct, he wanted more than anything to go home to care for his mate. But his other more comprehensible side was telling him that, clearly, Bella didn't want to be near him. She had begged to leave. He knew just by looking at her how much he had hurt her, and he detested himself.

I guess his instinctive side is winning. Or he knows that if he runs for it, we'll be there to pull him back.

I sent a wave of calm and confidence to him, and he was so deep in his brooding that he didn't even seem to notice that it came from me. He just stood up straighter and walked a little faster. My beautiful Alice, who never misses a beat, took my hand as we ran and I felt approval and love radiate from her.

When we reached Forks, she released my hand and sped in front of us. I smiled. She was excited to return home and anxious to care for Bella.

When we were about a quarter of a mile from our house, I stopped. Dead.

Bella was certainly not containing her emotions anymore. The intensity of it all was enough to bring me to my knees.

They were all so anxious to be home that they didn't notice I had stopped. I saw Alice turn to smile at me, but, noticing I was no longer there, looked around frantically. "Jasper?" She wasn't used to being taken off guard. She must have been too preoccupied thinking about Bella.

Then she saw me. The others turned and looked too.

There I was. Pitiful. On my knees. Wavering between moving forward… Or getting as far away from that place as I possibly could.

As I made my decision, Alice and Edward came rushing towards me. Alice had obviously had a vision and Edward had read her mind. Why would I even consider running? I could never leave Alice. And Bella obviously needed me. Bad.

Embarrassed, I quickly stood up before they got to me. Wiping the dirt off my knees, I casually looked around me, as if nothing had happened.

Alice looked at me seriously. "What's wrong, Jasper?"

"Nothing," I lied. I did not want to worry them. "Just… Grateful to be back home. I love this place!"

They weren't buying it. But before they could ask me again, I caught up with Emmett and Rosalie where they were waiting for us, about two hundred feet away. They looked at me curiously. "Just glad to be home," I repeated with a smile and continued onward. I could sense their confusion as I went ahead of them all, but there was no point in explaining. I didn't want to worry them. They would see for themselves soon enough.

When I reached the house, I stopped and my siblings skidded to a stop next to me. We stood in a line, looking up at the building that we called home, a united front, ready to take on whatever met us inside. Alice took my hand. We all looked at each other, nodded, and continued on at human pace to the front door.

Alice POV

Esme and Carlisle appeared in front of us upon entry of the living room. Upstairs, I could hear a heartbeat, speeding and stressed. At least she was in her room and had stopped making escape attempts… and life-threatening stunts. We couldn't relax now, though. She might try again, any time.

Carlisle and Esme were tense. It must have been tough, having to handle Bella all alone. I watched as they visibly relaxed. Jasper was so helpful. I gave his hand a squeeze.

"Bella's awake," Jasper said. It wasn't a question.

"She is laying on the bed in Esme and I's room," said Carlisle.

I couldn't hide my concern any longer. "Is she alright?" I asked, louder than I meant to be.

"Yes and no," said Esme. "But she—"

Esme was interrupted by an unexpected weak voice coming from upstairs. "Alice?"

Everybody's eyes widened. Disappointment flashed across Edward's face. My heart leapt with hope.

"Go to her, Alice," said Carlisle.

I didn't need to be told twice. I ran at vampire speed to Carlisle and Esme's bedroom, but slowed to human pace as I walked in.

Bella was sitting on the bed, above the blankets. She was hugging her knees to her chest. Her face, no longer an empty mask, was contorted in pain. Her cheeks were blotchy and her eyes were red from uncontrolled sobbing. That explained my parents' tension.

I climbed on the bed and sat across from her, taking her hands in mine. I kept moving my head, trying to catch her unwilling eyes that never looked in my direction. "Bella," I gently put my hand on her cheek and directed her face towards mine. "Talk to me, sweetie."

She finally looked into my eyes and put her released hand on top of mine on her cheek, as if to hold it there. She opened her mouth, as if about to speak, but immediately closed it again. Her expression remained calm, but her eyes were wild, distressed. I needed to calm her.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm fine." Every part of her was screaming otherwise: her eyes, her voice, her heart rate. She was always a bad liar, and she should see how obvious the lie was now.

I gave her a look that clearly said 'try again'.

"I am," she continued. "I just… wanted to tell you… that you'll always be my best friend. Always. And I will never, ever blame you for any of this. None of you are to blame. Everything. Is. Fine." She seemed to be convincing herself of this more than me. Tears were forming in her eyes but she didn't seem to notice. "You just n-need to understand that… that…" She was falling apart at the seams.

"Jasper," I called. She didn't even notice. "What do I need to understand, honey?" I wiped at her tears with my thumb that was already on her cheek.

Jasper appeared at my side, but Bella didn't seem to see him, or even me anymore. In a moment of mutual understanding, I removed my hand from Bella's cheek and scooted over on the bed, making room for Jasper to take my spot. He immediately sat down across from Bella and took her face into his hands. "Bella, I need you to calm down." Her heart rate was going dangerously fast.

Her breathing slowed as Jasper's power flooded her system. Closing her eyes, she said, weakly, "You need to understand that… I need to leave. I'm fine! I can take care of myself." She opened her eyes and tried to get up, but Jasper held her down. "Jasper!" she gasped, as if seeing him for the first time. "Let me go! I'm fine!"

"No, you're not," he said as she struggled. "Stop fighting! From now on, Bella, this is how it's going to go if you won't cooperate. You won't get anywhere." Her struggles slowed and her eyes began to droop from Jasper's influence.

"I don't want to sleep," she slurred.

"You definitely need it, darlin'," said Jasper. "But you probably wouldn't have to right now if you relaxed."

Slowly, she stopped fighting and, with Jasper's help, relaxed her tense muscles. Some color appeared in her skin, and she closed her eyes in relief. "Thank you, Jasper."

"Anytime." He looked at me with a smile. "I'm going to leave you two ladies to talk some. Let me know if you need me."

"Don't I always?" Bella's eyes were still closed, so I continued in a whisper at vampire speed, indecipherable to human ears. "Keep close by and monitor her emotions. If it gets bad, please step in again. She needs it. We'll discuss your findings later."

He kissed me briefly and whispered, "don't worry" as he flew out of the room. His words still seemed to linger around me along with the shot of confidence.

Bella POV

I opened my eyes to see Alice still sitting there, patiently. Part of me was surprised she hadn't left. Looking at her, I knew I had so much I wanted to say to her, but I couldn't form words. Then it occurred to me that I had already told her how I felt, in those darn emails that I had written to her. That she never replied to. A wave of rejection washed through me. She didn't care then, so she surely she feels no different now.

Alice must have noticed my change in expression. "Please, Bella! Talk to me! We're best friends; you can tell me anything, remember?" She was visibly distressed now.

Taking in a deep breath, I said, "Alice, why didn't you ever reply to my emails?"

She wasn't expecting this question. "You… sent me emails?" Intense guilt was plain on her features.

I nodded.

"Edward… Demanded that I cut off every previous connection that may have led you to me. To our family."

I knew it was something like this. I looked down at my hands, defeated.

"I could look and read them, if you'd like," she said hopefully.

I nodded and then looked up at her. "Alice, I missed you so much." I tried to put everything left unsaid into this fervent statement. Like how I hoped she'd never leave me, how I hoped she'd always be there for me when I needed her, how I hoped I didn't hurt her feelings, how I hoped she understood why I felt so… bad. How I loved her so entirely, as a best friend and sister. How I trusted her so much.

Jasper appeared in the doorway. I looked at him curiously, because I wasn't in a depressed rage at the moment.

"I can show her, if you'd like," he said softly. And then I understood and nodded enthusiastically. He smiled and took all of my love, desperation, trust, and passion that I was feeling towards Alice and showed her. She squealed in surprise and then pounced on me with a hug.

"I will never leave you, Bella," she whispered in my ear.

Her sincere words finally hit something inside of me. But before I could believe it, as much as I wanted to, I needed to talk to her after she read the emails.

I reached my arms around Alice and hugged her back.

It couldn't hurt to believe it, just a little.