So I finished watching Persona 5 Royal and well, that was an emotional rollercoaster. This was my first time doing Persona 5 content so of course, I'm kinda bursting with ideas. Maybe I'll do a Persona 5 oneshot at some point, but for now we're still on Persona 4.
Since this is more of a joke fic, this is not canon to Persona 4 A Lifetime, even if I do take nods from its continuity. For Yu, this would take place after his college years and he's engaged to whoever you want him to be honestly. With that said, let's begin.

Visiting an Old Friend

As if things couldn't be more hectic in Yu's life right now. He was working towards becoming a detective, trying to settle down and find a place to stay, dealing with his engagement, planning a wedding and all the craziness that was his life right now. On the upside, he had finished going for that degree in forensic science, so he didn't have to worry about school. On the absolute downside, he and his friends had to deal with the idea of these so called Phantom Thieves gaining popularity in Tokyo.

At first, it was mostly Naoto shaming their criminal activity while Yosuke and Teddie quickly became huge fans of the group. While the rest of the former Investigation Team tried to hide their interest from their friends in law enforcement, it was clear that they had interest in the mystique that came with the idea of changing hearts and the like.

Then things began to change as scummier and scummier people began to get complete changes in their personalities. They had begun to worry that there was more at play to this than your everyday strong arm tactics that would make someone confess to their crimes. With their history, they worried that this had to do with the world of Personas and Shadows. Things only got worse when SEES appeared with similar deductions, with the likes of Mitsuru and Akhiko demanding them of what theories they had regarding the Phantom Thieves and whether or not they should attempt to get involved with such ordeals.

While the rest of the Investigation Team and SEES had been having a mostly happy reunion catching up with each other while they visited Inaba about this, Mitsuru and Akhiko had been taken to pestering Yu about visiting the Velvet Room to make sure everything was okay. Unlike his friends on the investigation team, SEES had completely believed Makoto about his connection to Igor and The Velvet Room so there was absolutely no getting out of it for him.

It was finally after he had arrived at work one morning, only to find Akihiko standing in front of the police station in a fighting stance, threatening to take him down in front of his place of business that he finally agreed to go to the Velvet Room and see what was up.

He arrived in front of the gas station as he did all those years ago and took a step into the illuminated blue doorway.

When he arrived in the Velvet Room though, things were… off.

He did not find himself in the usual comfort that was the limousine where Igor would be peering at him from the end, but instead found himself in a prison cell. His clothes had been replaced with that of a usual striped inmate uniform, tattered and ripped as if he had been in a fight.

"What the fuck?" Yu asked confusedly only for his eyes to land outside of the cell and see Igor sitting on his table, peering at him like he usually did. "Igor, what the heck is going on?"

"To understand the events that are occurring, one must be the chosen champion of the cognitive space. That does not fall to you, as such, I will not be answering such things." Igor answered in his unusually deep voice.

Yu noticed this and frowned. "You are not Igor."

Igor's eyes widened in shock at this. "B-bu-but of course, I am. I am the warden here in the Velvet Room, here to make sure that rehabilitation is to be completed. You clearly are another champion for a different time, who clearly has nothing to do with what is going on now."

"Okay, that's bull. You know exactly who I am, Igor."

"Of course I do."

"Okay, then what is my name?"

Igor took a moment to process that. "Um… Curtis."

Yu shook his head. "Definitely not Igor. Alright, I'll bite. What sort of crazy demon or spirit are you?"

"I am Igor, the warden of the Velvet Room."

"Right… And I'm Curtis, the one who saved a city from being sunken into the ground."

Igor nodded. "Yes. Just as I remember, Curtis. You and your friends, Maya and Maki and the uh… rest."

"I have never heard those names before in my life, but alright." Yu shrugged.

Igor did his best to grin at him, but Yu could very clearly see the sweat forming at his temples, his smile slightly twitching.

"Alright. Lemme get this straight, Igor. You've been running this prison for the "current champion," they're one of the Phantom Thieves, correct?"

"Yes."

"And I am to assume that he's been going through this "rehabilitation" that you've been talking about?"

"Correct."

"So, this is clearly a matter for the Phantom Thieves to get into, right?"

"Yes. They are the ones who will continue to change cognition for the betterment of society."

"Sure. Whatever." Yu rolled his eyes. "So, in conclusion. I don't need to worry about that and can get back to my job and planning my wedding and can go tell Mitsuru and Akhiko to go bother someone else."

"Who?"

"Good enough for me." Yu waved as he got up from his seat in the cell and began to head towards the exit. "Good luck with whatever this is, Igor!"

Without another word, Yu Narukami left the prison behind.

He appeared out into the street and standing before him were none other than Mitsuru and Akihiko, each looking determined.

Yu jumped back. "For fuck's sake, don't do that!"

"What did you learn in the Velvet Room?" Akihiko demanded.

"Did Igor tell you anything that could be vital?" Mitsuru probed.

Yu looked at them both for a few moments before he just waved them off. "Igor says it's fine and that the Phantom Thieves are just like us. We're not to get involved and let those kids have their adventure just like we had ours."

The two looked at one another and frowned before glaring at Yu.

"Are you positive that that is the case?"

"If you want you can go and ask him yourse- Oh, wait."

Akihiko glared at him. "Can I fight him now?"

"I can have you arrested, Akihiko. After all of this nonsense, don't think I'll hesitate."

"Mitsuru, you'll bail me out, right?"

Mitsuru sighed. "Again?"

"If it must be done." He stated, as he cracked his knuckles and began to stroll towards Yu.

But Mitsuru put a hand to his chest and sighed. "It's fine, Akihiko. Thank you, Yu. I apologize for the inconvenience but with the severity of the situation in Tokyo, we needed to be sure that everything was under control."

"It's fine." He shrugged.

Months later, when he would wake up in the morning and get his morning coffee and look out the window to see that the sky had turned red, dinosaur bones to be sprouting from the ground and blood raining from the sky and his connection to reality fading before his very eyes he realized that it was not fine.

"Fuck."

Hope this made you laugh. R&R.