Chapter 16

Edward POV

I watched as Bella broke down in Esme's arms. Like always, her pain was my pain, and I struggled to contain my emotions.

The complexity of her thinking was a mystery to me; although we knew each other so well, I always had trouble deciphering the workings of her mind. I had endless questions and no answers. The biggest question I had was: Why was Bella so determined not to accept us as her family when she seemed to want it so much? Surely she understood by now that the only reason I left was because I loved her, and the family was only following my orders. She is so depressed that she must have lost the ability to think rationally.

But then I heard Jasper's thoughts, and it seemed to answer my question for me.

There's something missing, he was thinking. She's not letting it all out, she's keeping something in, but what? Maybe she wants to call her "Mom"… but she feels she can't… because she doesn't deserve it. How many times during her stay has she used the words 'I don't deserve it', after all?

There was the answer. She felt as if she didn't deserve us. I was sure this was it.

Carlisle was evaluating Bella in his thoughts. A couple bruises, manageable with ice. A broken nose, fractured ribs… Those would be manageable, as well. It will be the psychological issues that will take time.

Luckily, that we have plenty of.

Carlisle POV

"Dear," I whispered to Esme at a volume that couldn't be heard by human ears. "I need to examine Bella now. Please bring her to my study." I glanced around the room at the others.

"We'll stay here," Alice said mildly. "There are some things we should discuss, anyhow."

I gave her a grateful look and followed my wife upstairs. Once in my study, I pulled a collapsible examination table out of the closet and opened it in the middle of the room.

"I'm going to put you down now, sweetie," Esme was whispering to Bella. Bella's face was still in Esme's shirt, and her sobs had lessened to whimpers. Upon hearing her words, however, her crying increased. My wife looked at me, alarmed.

I stepped forward. "I just have to do a quick physical examination, Bella, and then you can go back to Esme if you wish."

She nodded and released her grip on Esme's shirt. I took her from Esme's arms and placed her gently on the table. She squirmed for a moment in discomfort and then became still.

I nodded to Esme to leave. I didn't want her to see this; if it caused Bella pain, it would upset her. As Esme was walking out the door, Bella's heart rate increased dangerously.

I was at her side instantly. I took her face in my hands. "Bella, relax," I said. "What's wrong?"

"Can Esme stay?" she whispered.

"Of course," I said softly, and Esme had already reappeared in the room. I was concerned that she hadn't called her "Mom", but we would handle that later.

She took Bella's hand and I began my examination.

Bella POV

I was really nervous. I didn't want him to see the injuries I had sustained, let alone the toll that months of neglect had taken on my body. At this time, I really needed my mom. I've never felt so vulnerable and abused. I wasn't thinking clearly, and I certainly couldn't think about whether or not Esme actually was going to be my mom until I could.

I lay sprawled on Carlisle's table, with Esme's hand in mine. I must have been a sight to see. I've never felt so badly in my life.

He took a small flashlight and examined my eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. He removed my torn shirt and looked with horror at the bruises I had acquired that traveled from my ribs, down my arms, and on my neck. His hand lightly traced each one, and I let out a sigh of relief when he laid his hand gently on my ribs. The cold felt wonderful.

"Tell me where it hurts most, Bella," he said, gesturing towards my ribs. I pointed to the one that was causing me the most discomfort and he applied slight pressure to assess the severity of the fracture. I clenched my teeth so as not to release a cry of pain.

He gave me a sad smile before moving to my broken nose. "Luckily we won't have to reset it," he said gently. "Like your other injuries, they are minor and can be treated with ice and rest. These things require you to stay stationary, Bella. I am going to ask that you stop trying to run away." His voice was sincere, and I could hear double meaning behind his words. He was also requesting that I stop fighting them.

I closed my eyes and nodded in submission. From now on, I decided, I was going to do whatever they asked, whether I liked it or not.

Esme rubbed circles on the back of my hand lovingly and I felt Carlisle's hand touch my cheek briefly.

"Now," he said with an air of finality. "Let's situate you in a place where you can rest for a while."

I glanced quickly at Esme, and Carlisle smiled. "I nearly forgot about my promise. You can go back to Esme, if you wish. I'm sure she would be delighted."

I looked at her hopefully. She gave me a look so full of love that I nearly started crying again. I just felt so emotionally overwhelmed that I didn't care about acting childish anymore; these were my feelings and I couldn't—I wouldn't—hide them any longer.

After taking me gently in her arms, she whispered, "I redesigned the guest room with you in mind while we were… away. I hope you like it."

I blushed at the thought of Esme—or anyone else—doing something that big for me and I buried my face into her shoulder. She rubbed my back soothingly. I felt like a child. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling.

I opened my eyes when I was set down on the softest bed I had ever been on. I gasped as I looked at the room around me; everything was so beautiful, so much so that I couldn't even fully comprehend what I was seeing.

It was simple and elegant; it seemed to be from another time. The walls were white and my bedspread, curtains, and carpet were a deep purple. But what caught my attention the most were the books. There were three bookshelves spread throughout the room, and each was stocked with my favorite books and ones that looked as if they would interest me. I had never seen such a beautiful sight—other than Edward, of course.

I was snapped out of my meditations when Esme suddenly appeared in front of my face. Her face was panicked. "Breathe, Bella!" she said worriedly.

I hadn't even noticed that I had stopped breathing. I closed my eyes and focused on taking a deep breath, realizing how much better I felt afterward.

I opened my eyes to see Esme, relief clear on her face. After a few moments, my gaze wandered from her face and back on the room. There was a squashy chair that I could sit in while I was reading, and next to it, on the wall, was a picture of Edward, looking as glorious as ever. And there were two additional doors. Both were open and from my position on the bed I could see that one was a bathroom and the other was a walk-in closet. Oh boy. Alice probably stocked it with clothing already. My very own bathroom… I noticed another picture; this one was of the whole family and me. I was standing shyly next to Edward, blushing. He was holding me still as I attempted to hide behind him. I remembered taking that picture… It was taken not too long before they left. My own bathroom… Books… Purple…

"Bella!" I heard a voice yell in the distance. "Bella! That's it. Carlisle!"

I immediately broke out of my trance. Realizing what was happening, I took a drawn out breath and released it quickly. "I'm fine, Mom. I mean—" I looked down guiltily. I accidentally called her "Mom" again.

Esme POV

My breathing caught as Bella called me "Mom." She dropped her head guiltily at the word.

I fully understand the reasoning behind her attachment to me, although I'm sure she doesn't. My poor baby is hurt and needs a mother's care. Since we pulled her from her "coma", her being has unconsciously needed my presence. I shall never speak badly of Renee, because she is the biological mother of my daughter, but she surely didn't take her role as parent seriously. From the way Bella and Edward speak of her, it is clear that Bella was the one to "raise" Renee, and not the other way around. Bella has had to take care of herself throughout her entire life. She needs me.

I lifted her chin so she'd meet my eyes. "What's the matter, honey?"

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"For what? There's nothing to be sorry for."

"For… For calling you m-mom."

I sat on the edge of her bed beside her. Taking her hand, I said, "I think you'd let go of a lot of stress if you just convinced yourself that we are your parents from now on. If you just told yourself, 'She is my mom.', then you wouldn't have to ever question yourself or feel worried. Can't you see how happy it makes me, or how happy it makes yourself?" At the last question, her eyes widened and I saw a glimmer of hope in them that alerted me to the truth of my words. This is what she wants.

I took her into my arms and held her tightly. "I know it's going to be hard, baby, but I have a way to make it even easier for you, and you'll have our help. You need to forgive yourself." That would make everything so much easier.

At my words, her body slumped in my arms.

Not again…