Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy or any of the characters. Ed, Edd n Eddy is the property of Danny Antonucci and Cartoon Network.

Cooties?

Chapter 2: The Confusion

Ed and Eddy were now in the Eddy's back yard, using a garden hose to wipe off all the lipstick on them.

Earlier, May and Lee had caught them and subjected them to a half-hour long kiss attack, that they managed to escape about 10 minutes ago. Now, they were trying to get rid of all the lipstick and slobber those crazy girls covered them with.

"Lousy Kankers!..."Eddy said as he angrily wiped the last of Lee's lipstick from his being.

This is the third time this week and those crazy girls won't leave them alone. As Eddy continued to angrily scrub the kisses away, Ed did something he seldom ever did.

Think.

Yes, think.

He was thinking about what happened to him today with May when she pinned him down and began kissing him like crazy. Because during that time, something weird happened.

Something he still doesn't understand...Something that happened a little before the kiss happened...

And during it...

And after it...

Something very, very strange.

FLASHBACK

The Big Ed boy tried to hide behind some garbage cans but it was too late, May had caught up to him and pounced him.

"I got you, Big Ed..."May said as she sent him that funny look while Ed just laid there, looking nervous.

As May pinned him, he could hear Eddy yelling as Lee started kissing him, all over his face.

Ed would soon be next

"Come here, Big Ed..." May said lovingly ..."Put those lips together and make like a fish..." She said before she before puckering her lips and making kissy faces.

Though part of Ed was confused as what she meant by fish. Terror mainly was in his mind as the Kanker lips closed in. Ed flinched at the sight of her lips, as even he knew what was going to happen.

His reaction was the same as always.

"GIRL GERMS!..."Ed shouted but it was too late.

May's lips finally met his as she pushed him deeper into the ground, wrapping her arms around him to keep him from running away. Ed's eyes were wide as May continued to kiss him again, moaning and looking happy as she did so.

Ed himself was not having fun here. He could feel the cooties jumping onto him.

He wasn't exactly enjoying this...at least...until...this happened.

"Mmmm..."Was heard as the blonde girl let out a moan as she still lip locked him, kissing the tallest Ed, who just laid there as she wrapped her arms around his neck and remained close to the frozen boy.

Frozen because he wasn't sure how to react.

After a full 10 seconds, this was heard...

MUAH!~

Once she pulled away, Ed looked into her hazel eyes and saw the look she ALWAYS gives him right after she kisses him.

Her face is red, her eyes are all googly and she had a big smile on her face as she looked at him funny. If Ed squinted hard enough, he could almost see little hearts floating over her head. The sun was behind May right now, making it hard to see anything but her and her hazel eyes that are still looking at him in that funny way, the way that MADE him feel funny too, and said the words that always made him feeling weird whenever she says them, especially after a kiss.

"I love you, Ed..."May said before kissing him again.

Ed continued to lay there as May continued to kiss him on his lips and face, not even noticing Eddy's screams as he tried to escape the same thing from Lee.

Sometime during it all, Ed stopped fighting and yelling as May continued to smooch him. His mind stopped (not that it took much to stop it anyway) as May continued with her affections. Though he didn't exactly know why, though.

He just laid there, unsure what to do.

To May, she took it as a sign to continue. However, once Eddy managed to wriggle himself free from Lee and started running away, Ed remembered that he had to do the same and started yelling and squirming until he finally managed to wriggle out from under May and started running to.

"RUN AWAY!..."Eddy yelled.

"Wait for me, Eddy!..."Ed yelled as he started running too, only to look back and see May and Lee, apparently satisfied for now, waving at them.

"Later boys, don't be strangers..."Lee called as her sister waved to Ed.

"Bye, Big Ed..."May said as she blew one last kiss at him.

It made Ed look back a little more as he kept running, until Eddy's screams of panic reminded them that they had to keep running.

So, he did.

End Of Flashback

The memory ended and Ed recalled how he felt.

He might not be very smart but he has always known the following things.

Edd and Eddy are his best pals. Sarah is his baby sister and he loves her, no matter how mean or scary she can be. Gravy and chickens are nice, so are comic books, monster movies and jawbreakers. And last and the most important one of all, girls have cooties and the Kanker sisters are bad. So are the Kanker's cooties and that you have to run away as soon as you see them.

That is what he and his pals have always done. They always screamed and ran as fast as they can to escape these bad girls but they have never had any luck when trying to escape the girl's kisses.

The Kankers scared him

They always did.

May, more then the others. She is the one he tried to stay away from the most, because he was her favorite. He was the one that she kisses the most and the one who is ALWAYS being weird and mushy on him.

May in Ed's opinion was the scariest of all the Kanker sisters but there was something else about her.

She is also the one who makes him feel strange things, the most. He wasn't sure what it was but all he did know is that every time May kisses him, he feels something strange. He can't really describe it but he knows that it must be bad, since his friends always says that it's awful whenever the Lee or Marie kiss them, hug them and make them spend time with them.

They ran, so Ed ran too.

He knew his friends knew better than him, so Ed did what they did. It made sense, since Marie and Lee seemed to enjoy making them unhappy, so May wasn't any different to him.

At least, that's what he thought at first.

Over time, May seemed different though. She seemed to actually WANT him to like her, since at times, she would say nice things to him or talk in a nice voice...before she kissed him that is.

Ed still wasn't sure but his friends were smarter then he was and knew they wouldn't steer him in the wrong way. Though, he always did wonder what was so bad about the Kanker's kisses, other than the fact that they had cooties.

He never asked but now he is very confused.

He has been for a long time. To be honest, he has felt this way since the first time May kissed him but the strange feeling was getting stronger lately, making him even more confused.

He didn't seem as scared as he used to be, though he knows that he should be. But Ed didn't know what he should be doing or why he can't stop thinking about this.

What was going on with him? Why did his head hurt like this when he thought of May? And what is this weird feeling that keeps getting stronger the more he is around her?

"Hey, Eddy?..."Ed asked, getting the unofficial leader's attention.

"What is it Mono-brow?..." Eddy questioned harshly, still in a bad mood over what just happened to them.

Ed was silent for a moment, wondering if he should ask or not. It is rare for him, since he usually says the first thing that pops into his head without a problem. Still, this is something that has been confusing him for a very, very long time.

Since the first time May kissed him, to be more precise, though maybe a little before that too.

He just had to know.

"Why do we not like the Kankers?..." Ed asked.

Eddy heard this and looked at him like he just asked the stupidest question in the whole world. And Ed, being Ed, has been told that he has said plenty of stupid stuff over the years.

"Duh! Because the Kankers are pains who won't leave us alone!..."Eddy said in anger.

"Oh... okay..."Ed said, looking down.

Eddy sent him a suspicious look.

"What are you even asking something so stupid, anyway?!..."Eddy demanded..."Have you forgotten about all the stuff they put us through?About all the times they chased us all across the Cul-De-Sac?!... He exclaimed.

How was it not obvious even to a pea brain like Ed not see what was wrong with this picture?

Those three maniacs have then chasing them for years, putting them through all sorts of unspeakable torture and humiliation. Double D had forgotten all that. He forgot what the Kankers were capable of and was now trapped and Ed seems to be falling down the same path. They've already lost Double D, but Eddy refused to let Ed get trapped by those witches too. If he did, he would have absolutely NO backup in getting away anymore and he'd have lost another friend to the poison known as "Kanker love".

"But the other kids used to be mean to us too and we became friends with them and we aren't scared of them?..."Ed pointed out.

"That's not the same! The other kids were never as bad as those three harpies..."Eddy said.

"Even Sarah?..." Ed asked.

"YES! Even your sister!..."The loud mouth Ed yelled.

Seriously, did Ed not get that the Kankers were nightmares!?

"Oh, who am I kidding?! I'm talking about Ed here!..."Eddy thought frustrated, who merely scratched his head, still confused.

"I know girls have cooties but-..."Ed stopped as he said that word and for once, something came to his mind.

A question?

Exactly what ARE cooties? Why were they bad and why did only girls have them? Any if they are bad, why hasn't he felt anything different after May kissed him, other than that weird feeling?

It's so confusing.

Maybe Eddy knows?

"Eddy? Why are cooties bad?..." Ed asked.

"Becau-..." Eddy froze up.

He didn't know how to respond to this, to the likes of Ed.

He knew cooties weren't really a thing, just something to take advantage of Ed's lack of intelligence. If not, he might risk suffering the same fate as their crazy friend Edd. Eddy can't let that happen to his pal. He deserved so much better than a crazy Kanker who'd drag him down the aisle and order him around the first chance she got

So, he had to fib. It was for his own good.

"Because...well...uh..."Eddy paused, still not sure what to say.

Ed just kept staring as Eddy tried to think of something, but kept drawing a blank. The short Ed boy lost his patience and started yelling again.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!..." Eddy barked.

Normally, Ed wouldn't argue against Eddy, but he had a question on his mind for years. He just had to know.

"Are cooties real?" Ed asked.

"Are YOU for real?!" Eddy asked sarcastically but Ed nodded

"Yes..."Ed said, he didn't understand what that meant, but kept going.

"ED! The Kankers are NOT people we shouldn't be around! PERIOD! They are TROUBLE!..."Eddy said, shouting with each word he emphasized.

Ed still looked unsure.

"Are you sure?..."He asked, still not getting it.

Eddy just looked like he was getting even madder now.

"Girls have germs and even you know that, Lumpy..."Eddy said.

"I know but-..."Ed was cut off by Eddy once more.

"The Kankers are the worst cases ever. They are never gonna change! They are pure evil, so stay away from them!..."He added.

"Really?..."Ed asked.

"YES! So stay away from them if you know what's good for you! Don't forget, like Sock-head did!.."Eddy yelled as he angrily went back to washing the kisses away.

Ed was silent after that. As Eddy continued to wipe off more of Lee's lipstick, his friend was actually thinking for once but not exactly about what he said.

It was the exact opposite.

He couldn't help it. He knew girls had germs but why didn't Edd worry about germs. He ALWAYS freaks out over germs but lately, he doesn't seem worried about them, given that he is okay with being around Marie now.

And to be honest, he doesn't recall those Kanker germs ever doing anything to him to HURT him.

Was Ed stronger then cooties? Or were they even real?

He wasn't sure but he knew that he just had to know.

"But... I don't feel like the girl germs do anything to me..." Ed said.

"JUST SHUT UP, ED!..." Eddy shouted at him.

Ed still didn't understand but Eddy was getting angry now. The shorter Ed boy grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him down to eye level as he kept trying to convince him that Kankers' were bad and that's that.

"The Kankers are nothing but trouble and so are cooties, and let's leave it at that!..."Eddy said in anger.

"But Eddy?..."Ed started but was cut off by his friend.

"Just listen to what I say, unless you want to risk turning out like Sock-Head!..."Eddy yelled.

Ed was silent when he heard that. Once his brain processed that, he thought about "sock-head", or Double D.

Every since he did that experiment where he went on a date with Marie, he hasn't been the same.

For one thing, he acts all different. He gets all red faced, smiles a lot more and acts funny whenever Marie is around or even mentioned but he always has a smile on his face. Not to mention, Marie acts all different too. She is spending less time with her sisters and more time alone with Double D, she is also acting a lot less mean now to the other kids. Heck, she might even be a little nicer now too.

Not only that but instead of running around and Marie grabbing him and making him kiss her, Double D doesn't run away and seems okay with kissing her, sometimes doing it first, which is very strange compared to how much he tried to avoid her last year and since the day they met.

Another thing is that he seems happier now.

They both do.

A lot happier, to be honest.

Marie didn't chase Edd anymore, since he pretty much stays whenever she shows now and Double D doesn't run, instead, he just accepted it.

Something Marie really liked now

Not just her but it was something Double D liked now

Ed was confused.

The girl germs did nothing to him. He still seems like the same Double D. He still uses big words, he still used a lot of soap and he still is his best friend. Aside from liking Marie now, he hasn't changed at all.

If that is so, then why is Eddy telling him that they are bad and to keep away from May and her sisters?

He just didn't understand, but Eddy kept telling him what to do.

"Just listen to me Ed, it's for your own good. Stay away from those Kankers..."Eddy said as he continued to wipe the rest of the lipstick off his body.

Normally, Ed would just do as he was told but lately, he was not sure what he should be doing.

"Why is this so confusing?..."Ed thought, as lost as ever now.

Oh boy.

-To Be Continued-

Next time on The Cooties

The Questions and Answers

A/N(1): Special thanks to BeConfuzzled Writer, 61394 and NeoMark for their help. As always, you guys are the best ;)

A/N(2): I would like to dedicate this chapter to my loved ones :)

REPLIES to my loyal and totally awesome reviewer:

Invader Johnny: Oh boy, indeed.

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:) Till next time beautiful people, remember to read and review :)