Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy or any of the characters. Ed, Edd n Eddy is the property of Danny Antonucci and Cartoon Network.
Cooties?
Chapter 4: The Questions and Answers Part 2
Previously
"Why do you ask? How does Marie correlate to your issue?.." Edd said, clearing his throat as he waited for his blush to die down.
Ed looked to his shoes and sighed.
"I think...I think I have a problem..."Ed finally confessed to his best friend, who may be his only hope now.
Oh boy.
Ed just told his friend he had a problem.
Double D, being the ever good friend, sent a worried look to his pal.
"What problem are you facing Ed?..."Edd asked, both concern and confused.
Despite not being used to it, Ed thought back to how he felt earlier around May and he didn't know what it meant.
He didn't know what ANY of this means and it's scaring him a lot. Even more than soap!
That's why he needed Double D's help and fast. Still, he tried to explain things in his own Ed-like way.
"I've got funny feelings in my tummy..."Ed said, making his friend raise a brow.
"You have?..."Edd questioned.
He wasn't aware Ed could get indigestion since Ed hadn't even felt sick after eating the cul de sac all of their food whenever he sleep walks.
"Uh huh, I feel all funny and I don't know why.."Ed said..."Not happy funny but weird funny..."He finally confessed.
"What's wrong with me Double D?..."Ed asked his smart friend.
Said smart friend wanted to help but needed more details
"Ed...can you...describe the feeling to me, please?..."Edd asked.
"Well, it makes my tummy feel all wiggly and crawly inside, not to mention my hands shake, I get sweatier than usual, and something in my chest goes thumpy-thump..."Ed confessed.
"What?.."Edd exclaimed, his eyebrows shot into his hat at what he just heard.
Ed misunderstood his reacrion.
"I said-..."Ed stopped when his friend spoke next.
"I...I heard what you said, Ed..."The smart friend, now in shock, said.
This was a new development and it is obvious that Ed's problem isn't a stomach ache or indigestion. No, it's MUCH more complicated than that.
"Oh my!..."Edd thought, surprised.
If his hunch was right, his friend was dealing with a whole new problem.
It appeared that Ed was in love.
This is very unexpected.
He knew that romance was an alien concept to Ed . Ed didn't tend to think about romance at all, just comic books, gravy and ways to "borrow" Rolf's chickens.
Ed was Ed.
Then again, he IS 16 now...and with that age, comes change.
Even for him, it seems.
Still, Edd had to be sure.
"Is...is there some girl whom you have feelings for? Some girl you like...and I mean romantically?..."Edd asked, being specific as possible here.
Ed was silent now, not knowing how to respond to this. All he had was what he thought..
"I..uh...No...uh...I mean yes...I mean...um...I don't know. All I know is that I feel funny.."Ed said and Edd, for once, was thrown speechless.
He had no idea that Ed had such feelings or was even capable of romantic feelings for another. Sure, he, like everyone else, had a crush on Nazz, but he never really seemed to understand it and it stopped after the blonde girl started dating Kevin.
Still, aside from that, Ed hardly ever noticed girls before...until now.
But who?
The only other girl who had any desire to be around Ed was-
"Wait..."Edd thought as realization dawned on him.
It couldn't be... could it?
The smart Ed Boy starting to get an idea on where this is going but he had to be sure here. So, he asked the following question.
"Is this about May?..."The Sock-head asked.
Ed heard this, sighed and nodded.
"Yeah. Just earlier today, she chased me and kissed me again..."Ed said.
"And?..."Edd pressed on.
He knew that there is more.
"As soon as she started kissing me, I got this weird feeling deep in my tummy and I forgot that kissing her was a bad thing..."Ed said.
"I see..."Edd said..."I'm sensing something else at work here..." He said, having a clue what was going on.
"I'm sensing something that's not gravy.."Ed said, still looking so lost now.
Edd gestured to his friend to continued. Ed sighed, as he did so
"Every time May kisses me, I feel funny. I have always felt funny around her, ever since she and her sisters kissed us as pirates..."Ed said, surprising Edd.
"Really?..."Edd said in surprise.
He did not expect that.
"Yes. I always knew that funny feeling was a bad thing. Since Kanker's are bad and cooties are bad too..."Ed said.
"Did Ed just say cooties?..."Edd thought, surprised.
Ordinarily, most people outgrow such a belief by the second grade. Then again, maybe it isn't so surprising that Ed still believes in them, given how...simple...he can be.
Very, very simple.
Still, Edd had a feeling he knew where this is all going, but he has to be sure. He needed all of the facts before heading to a conclusion. So, he asked more questions.
"Can you tell me more.."Edd asked.
His friend nodded.
"I don't know why but that feeling only happens whenever May is around..I don't feel it around her sisters or anyone else..."Ed said, trying to recall exactly how he felt, so his friend could help him.
He really needs help now.
Edd, on the other hand, looked genuine stunned by this reveal.
"You...have been feeling this the whole thing?..."Edd asked, stunned.
Ed nodded.
"Uh-huh...You and Eddy always said that Kanker's are bad, so I knew that feeling is bad too..."Ed said.
Well, that explained some of Ed's confusion.
Meanwhile, Edd was analyzing the entire situation. His friend has feelings that only surface around May Kanker and has for a long time it seems. Feelings...which are how he feels around Marie now, to be honest.
It could only mean one thing and Ed clearly still doesn't realize it yet.
But Edd does. So, the brainy Ed boy knew that he had to be the one to explain it to Ed, in a way that he'll understand, or he may never get it.
"Ed, I think you have feelings for May. I think you like her...romantically..."Edd said.
"I do?..." Ed thought, looking surprised.
Edd nodded.
"I believe so..."Edd said..."The way you describe how you feel...it's much like how I tend to feel around Marie now..."The smart boy said.
"Really?..."Ed said and Edd nodded again.
He needed to ask more though, just to be sure.
"Have you been thinking about her? About her kisses lately?..."Edd asked, needing to be sure.
Ed nodded.
"I see..."The brainy Ed boy said
Edd asked another question. Probably THE most important question to ask right now.
"Do you WANT to kiss her?..."Edd asked, needing to be sure.
Ed blinked, unsure.
His entire life, only one person had kissed him and it was always May and he thought that it wasn't suppose to happen...but he never once actually tried to kiss a girl before, not even Nazz and she was the prettiest girl in the cul-de-sac...
At least, according to everyone else.
May, she...she wanted to kiss him, hug him, call him weird names like "Pookie-Bear" and "Honey" and even said that she will marry him some day.
Heck, she and her sisters even did that once when they were just kids, even with "rings" too.
That is May Kanker, alright. She can be scary, crazy, unpredictable and wild too.
Still...he remembered the first time she kissed him and how it made him feel deep remembered that she and her sisters had dressed up like pirates and ruined their cruise ship scam by sinking their boat, fishing them out of the creek and after they made Jimmy and Johnny walk the plank.
Then it happened: The kissing.
That was the first time May kissed him and the first time he was ever kiss at all by a girl. It was a really weird experience that he did not known how to take in. However, after they washed up on shore, he was stumped over how he felt about it, but he knew that he had been smiling after it was done.
His friends, however, weren't smiling. They kept saying how awful and bad it was, so Ed learned that kissing is a bad thing, especially from May and her sisters.
Still, he remembered that is when that weird feeling first started.
That weird feeling only got worse as he got older and May got older too and...cuter. The stronger it became, the more afraid he was of it, since he believed that it was something bad. Though at times, he forgot how bad it was suppose be or that it was even bad at all.
There were times when he forgot that it was bad and scary and almost mistook it for something GOOD. Like the time May and her sisters made them play footsie, and while her feet were clammy, he felt weird but he didn't register as something bad. Heck, a part of him actually thought it was kind of funny and he even laughed when her toes wiggled on his and he was smiling again while his friends kept screaming and trying to find an escape.
Ed didn't know why but he liked it
Heck, when her sisters did that wedding for them back when they were kids, all Ed could think about was that May looked really pretty in her dress and since she hasn't tried to kiss him yet, he didn't have to feel afraid. Though, he was confused when she said that they were wed. He didn't know kids could get married. All he did know that if two people get married, they were going to be together forever and live in the same house, like his parents are.
Anyway, after the "I do's" and the girls gave them their clothes back, in exchange for "kissing the brides" and May told them that they are now husband and wife and will be together forever, Ed still didn't understand some things, but he didn't feel scared there or try and run away, unlike his friends. Heck, when he was being kissed by his bride, that weird feeling had been pretty strong and he didn't feel afraid then. Heck, it almost felt kind of nice to kiss his bride then, though he didn't fully understand.
All he knew was that he didn't feel afraid there. It was part of the reason he didn't mind pulling the wagon and even enjoyed it, including when the girls took them back to the trailer park for "the honeymoon", which was non stop kissing, which lasted for the rest of the day before Eddy and Edd managed to escape and drag him with them.
He never told his friends that a small part of him was kind of bummed that he and May weren't really married, even if he didn't fully know why.
The following night, he dreamed about her and that funny feel came back.
It wasn't the last time either, that funny feeling came back several times and he found himself more confused around May. Other times, he tried to force himself to remember just how scary she is and run away as soon as he sees her. Like that first Valentine's day since they moved to Peach Creek, when May walked up to him and tried to give him a card and ask him to be her Valentine's.
He...reacted like he usually did, by running away and hiding.
It's what he and his friends are suppose to do when confronted with Kankers and their cooties.
Though, a small part of him felt a little sorry if he hurt her feelings, though she didn't seem so sad since she and Double D spent a lot of time together that day for some reason, though Eddy said that he was poison by "Kanker love" and they had to save him from it, though it was out of habit.
Thankfully, at the end of the day, everything was back to normal and it wasn't long before May started chasing him again and he ran away.
And the cycle continued.
As they got older, the feeling became stronger and the more she kissed him, the less scared he felt during it but once it was over, he remembered that it was bad and ran away again.
So Ed just did what his friends did and kept running, even if he didn't understand why but he still thought it had to do with cooties. Because aside from cooties, he can't think of anything that is bad about May.
It was weird but true.
He thought about her yellow hair, her hazel eyes and her buck teeth and how they look when she smiles, especially at him.
For some reason, he found himself grinning as he thought about her and recalled the last kiss she gave him.
The grin didn't go away and unknown to the simple boy, his friend saw it.
"Ed? Oh, Ed?..."Edd said, snapping his fingers as his friend had zoned out.
He was beginning to worry about his dear companion
"Oh, um...butter toast..."Ed said, with his train of thought broken, again, the Ed boy wondered what he was doing.
"You didn't answer my question Ed. Do you want to kiss May?..."He asked again.
Hearing that reminded the Ed boy why he was hear and this funny feeling in his tummy. Ed blushed and looked to his shoes
He thought about May and that funny feeling came back, the one that made him feel all warm and fuzzy at the thought of the blonde girl and what she does to him.
And how she makes him feel.
How she has been making him feel since the first time she kissed him.
Ed gulped.
It was unusual for the boy, as he never thought of kisses in such a manner before. This was new with girls too, but Ed had a feeling of his wants.
Ed, in a super rare moment of clarity thought about what Double D said. It got him to process something other than monsters movies and comics.
After actually thinking about it, this is what he said.
"I think that I want to, Double D...but what about cooties and Eddy? He told me that Kankers are bad and we need to stay away from them..."Ed said.
Edd sighed, feeling pretty guilty. It seems the mistakes of youth are catching up.
Sure, he and Eddy were terrified of the Kankers growing up, but things changed when he gave Marie a chance and learned how perfect she is for him.
It seems that Ed, being a lovable dunderhead, subconsciously just followed their lead, even if he didn't know that.
In fact, it was quite possible much of Ed's subconscious fear of the Kankers was because Eddy and himself were so afraid of them.
Now he is so confused about his own feelings as he is now older and his hormones are making him see May in a new light and aware of Eddy's attempted machinations.
Edd knew Eddy meant well but this was going too far.
Perhaps now wouldn't be the best time to explain that cooties were a figment of Ed's imagination. Who knows how'd he react?
He could tell him later when he understood the world a little better.
For now, Ed is expecting an answer.
Thankfully, Double D came up with one that might work.
"Well, Ed. As you get older, you become immune to cooties..." Edd lied.
"Really?..."Ed asked, sounding hopeful.
"Yes, as you grow up, puberty changes your body and you no longer have to worry about cooties. In fact, kissing becomes very nice, but only when it is with the right person. Someone you really like, love, and they feel the same way about you..."Edd said carefully.
It was a little white lie but it was for the greater good of Ed's psyche.
He'd understand one day.
Hopefully.
Perhaps, after he experienced what it was like being with someone that way and he was more aware of the world.
At the moment, he didn't want to say the wrong thing and damage Ed's psyche since this bombshell that he might have feelings for May is a delicate matter and needs to be treated delicately.
Ed could only take so many life changing relegation at a time. This was too much for him right now. So, Edd would give the best advice he could.
"You shouldn't worry now since I can honestly say that one way or the other, you will have your answer..."Edd said.
"Really?..."Ed asked and his friend nodded.
"Yes ,one way or another your issue with May will be resolved and you'll both have put it behind you..."Edd answered.
That much is true, at least.
Ed got happy about the news about cooties and the immunity to them he developed without knowing, thanks to puberty.
It meant he didn't have to worry about whatever girl germs would do to could talk to May and find out what this funny feeling means.
"Does this mean-..."A super rare thought went through Ed's mind.
He doesn't NEED to be afraid of May?
Suddenly, he knew what he had to do. He had to face May like Double D did with Marie, then he'd find out what the funny feelings meant.
And if they were a good thing or if he should just keep running away.
Eithet way, he may get his answer. Still, he had to ask his smart friend.
"So, if I kiss May now, it is okay?..."Ed asked, actually looking hopeful.
Edd looked unsure what to say but tried his best.
"I...suppose, but only if you WANT to kiss her and she wants to kiss you too..."Edd said.
Ed blinked, confused.
Was there a chance May might not want to kiss him?
Silly question, of course she would kiss him. Still, it is always goos to check first.
Edd did not want to risk Ed to misinterpret his words. It was always good to be very clear.
"You should just follow your heart..."Edd said.
"My heart?..." Ed asked as he pointed to his chest.
What does his heart have to do with this?
Edd nodded.
"Yes, Ed. Your heart. That is where that funny feeling...love is... and if you feel okay to be with May that way, you will know..."Edd said.
Ed heard this and smiled...until he recalled another thing that could affect this whole thing.
"But what about Eddy?..." Ed asked.
Edd heard this and sighed.
Yeah, that would be a difficult sell and something that could stand between Ed's potential happiness with May
While their best friend, Eddy is very stubborn and hated the Kanker's with a passion. He might even try to convince Ed to stay away from the them, including May but these are Ed's feelings and if he wishes to give May a chance, that is his decision.
Though, he will need as much support as he can get.
Edd turned to the lovable oaf he calls his best friend and spoke.
"Eddy will come around. It will take time but he'll come around..."Edd said as he patted Ed's shoulder reassuringly.
To be honest, Edd wasn't too sure about that, but it was a little white lie, for Ed's own good.
He'd understand the truth one day.
Meanwhile, Ed got happy about the news about cooties and the immunity to them he developed without knowing,
It means that he would finally be safe from those cooties and maube finally understand May better.
"So, if I kiss May now, it is okay?..."Ed asked.
Edd looked unsure what to say but tried his best to answer.
"I...suppose, but only if you WANT to kiss her and she wants to kiss you is the most important..."Edd said.
"I don't know what that word means Double D..."Ed said.
Edd sighed.
"It means that if she says no, don't try to kiss her..."Edd said.
Even if it was a very unlikely scenario where that was the case that May Kanker would not want to kiss Ed but that was still an important lesson to impart to Ed.
"Oh, okay..." Ed said.
"But how do I do this? How do I talk to May and figure this out?..."Ed asked.
Edd knew that he could simply push Ed into May's arms but this is something that Ed has to figure out on his own. Still, he could at least make him aware of his feelings and understand them more.
He decided to give Ed the advice Eddy wouldn't.
Even if Ed never became romantically involved with May, this would be good for him to face his fears head on and maybe come out stronger for it
"As I said previously, you should just follow your heart..."Edd said. "It's usually the right choice...Just try and calmly talk to May, explain everything and..."Edd paused as he tried to imagine exactly WHAT May might do if she learns of this, though Ed might not mind.
Still...
"Just...tell her that you want to talk and that it is serious, then, tell her how you feel and ask if she feels the same..."Edd said as he placed a hand on his friends shoulder.
"Just follow your heart and everything should work out..."He said.
Ed nodded, he should follow his heart.
Still, he had one last thing to ask and it is important.
"Does this mean I like May the way you like Marie now?..."Ed asked.
Edd blinked, before deciding to answer this as safely as possible.
"I am afraid that only you can decide if you like May or not and if you want to give her a chance..."Edd said.
Ed still looked confused but it seemed like he had found his answer or the first step to the answer anyways.
Something Eddy would never have helped him with but Edd gave the best advice he could. In the end that's all he could do, as it was Ed's choice, and May's too, though she had made her feelings quite clear over the years, so the odds are in Ed's favor.
"Really?..."Ed asked.
"Yes, Ed. Really..." Edd responded.
That was just the answer he needed to hear.
Ed smiled as he hugging Edd tightly.
"You are the best, Double D!..."Ed said happily.
"Ed!I need oxygen to breathe..."Edd shouted as his face turned blue.
Eventually, Ed let him go and Edd sucked in as much oxygen as he needed to avoid suffocating.
"Oh, thank goodness..." Edd said taking in multiple breaths.
Edd knew Ed wouldn't hurt him but still sometimes his simple friend didn't know his own strength or what he was doing some of the time.
Ed's superhuman strength seemed inhuman, but he never did find the answer for it.
Anyway, a big smile on his face as he turned to his friend, one that Edd had matching, seeing his friends psychological woes were healed
"Thanks, Double D!... " Ed said gratefully before he ran off.
Edd watched his best friend run off, no doubt to go find May and discuss their issue.
Edd crossed his fingers, hoping the best of luck.
Not that he needed luck, as May Kanker had made her feelings for his friend quite clear over the years
Still, Edd smiled.
"Good luck, Ed..."He said, hoping for the best for his friend.
If anyone deserves to have some love in their life, it is Ed.
Meanwhile Marie, having got impatient, walked out of the car and towards her boyfriend.
"What was that about?..." She asked and Edd sighed.
He had no idea how to explain this to Marie or even if he should.
It wasn't truly his business or Marie's and matters of the heart were only the business of the person in question.
"It's a long story..." He said, looking to his blue haired beauty she was giving him a look..."One that might have a happy ending for your sister..."Edd added.
Marie raised an eyebrow, wondering what May had to do with it before deciding that she didn't care since she wanted to get back to her precious make out time
"Whatever, come on..."Marie said as he grabbed him and dragged him back to the car to continue with their make out session.
An order Edd was more than happy to oblige with his turtle dove.
Edd just hoped that the advice he gave his old friend would help him. Ed is a good guy and deserves some happiness, even if it still has a lot to learn on matters of the heart.
Speaking of which...
"Oh, Pumpkin..."Marie cooed before several "muah" were heard.
"Oh, Marie..."Edd cooed back as they continued their romantic endeavors in relative privacy.
Oh yes, love is grand, isn't it?
Something Ed might find out, sooner rather than later.
-To Be Continued-
Next time on The Cooties
The Cure
A/N(1): Special thanks to BeConfuzzled Writer, 61394 and NeoMark for their help. As always, you guys are the best ;)
A/N(2): I dedicate this chapter to my family, my friends and my love for God :)
REPLIES to my loyal and totally awesome reviewer:
RonaldM40196867: Nothing much, I just felt like making an EdxMay fic.
Invader Johnny: Uh-huh.
:) Till next time beautiful people, remember to read and review :)