Disclaimer: I do not own the manga, anime, characters, whathaveyou that are used in this story.

After the War

Nothing in life has ever been easy for him, so of course this wouldn't be any different. And yeah, it couldn't compare to all the other shit he's gone through prior to this... That's something he'd rather not think about 'now,' so soon after his final battle with Naruto.

But this—

Sakura comes in early in the morning, as she's done every morning before. Sasuke can usually tell if she's coming in after a good night's rest or before she finally finished her shift by the pep in her greeting. If she says "Good morning Sasuke-kun!" complete with a bounce in her steps, she's slept some. If she just says "Mornin' Sasuke," then she probably hasn't had a break yet.

It's the latter that he prefers.

Not because she tends to be silent during those checkups. Although he does often find that when faced with her indomitable positivity, he can't think of much to say until hours later. And that's new for him. No. He likes it when she's tired because she lets herself find rest with him. And that's something he craves more and more these days.

"Mornin' Sasuke..." Sakura tries to stifle a yawn but can't.

Sasuke shivers in excitement.

The pink haired med-nin takes his chart and sluggishly notes what's new and what's not. There's not a lot of witticisms today, or her reprimands about his health. And as it often starts, she sits on the side of his bed instead of the chair next to it. "How many hours have you been on your feet?"

"Hmm. I'm not sure," she muses absentmindedly. "There's so much to be done."

"That doesn't mean you should do everything around here."

"Sasuke-kun! Of course I don't and if I could, I would."

He rolls his eyes. Of course she would. She said she would have taken away his pain to comfort him if she could've... Does she still feel the same way?

Sasuke looks out the window, lost in the darkening thoughts that so easily find purchase in the early morning silence.

She said she's forgiven him but... After all he's done? He would understand if she's had a change of heart.

Sakura yawns again. And he can't help himself anyway, despite his doubts.

"You should rest here for a while," he tells her as he makes space for her on the hospital bed. "You'll just trip and injure yourself with how tired you are."

Sakura let's out an unladylike snort that he finds kind of cute. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

But she starts removing her shoes anyway. It's a dance they do. He offers and she pretends she doesn't need to or acts all offended at the suggestion in the first place. It usually takes longer but she must be sleepier than she's letting on.

Sasuke lifts the starched blankets so she can get in and she starts off lying to the side all stiff and mindful of his personal space. But eventually, when her guards are finally down, she lets herself burrow into his chest and into his heat, the tip of her cold nose startling him every single time.

And Sasuke hasn't felt comfort like this in a long while.

"Thanks Sasuke-kun," she mumbles. "You're a good friend."

He deflates just a little.

Nothing in life has ever been easy for him, why would his first foray in love be any different?

--xxx--

It took a while before Sasuke figured it out. Embarrassingly so. Like, Naruto would tease him for the rest of his life if he ever found out kind of embarrassing.

To be fair, his ruminations didn't start out that way. He was just wondering about the differences between the Sakura of his childhood and the one that stood before him today. Where the girl he grew up with would hang on his every word and rejoice in every scrap of attention he threw her way, this Sakura is calm and comfortable in her own skin. She doesn't need validation from him. She knows what she's worth.

And she doesn't need him.

But she chose to save him anyway.

There's also the issue of the— cough— physical difference. That being said, he was determined to find out what else was new with his old teammate.

Sasuke relaxes on his hospital bed with the subject of his thoughts. Sakura used to be nearly as tall as him when they were genin. And while she has definitely grown taller, sitting up and with some maneuvering, he could still comfortable fit her under his chin.

He nestles his face on the crook of her neck and shoulders, his lips barely skimming her warm skin. She doesn't blush around him as much as she used to. Back then, she'd turn as violently red as his favorite fruit if he so much as glanced her way. Now, it happens far less often than he'd like.

"I-is this comfortable for you Sasuke-kun?" Sakura looks at him and he's happy to note that there's still a barely there flush on her cheeks. At least. And she hasn't grown out of the adoring way she called his name.

Small favors?

He adjusts a little further down the bed so she can lean on his chest better. "Aa. Just continue what you're doing."

Another thing he's learned is that Sakura never takes a break. Not a real one. Even if she says she's going to take one, she's most likely juggling eating and paperwork or reading at the same time— like she's doing now. How can someone as tiny as her have so much energy? She's not packing a bijuu with her too.

That's why he's taken to calling for her to make sure he can force her to take it easy. It's what a good friend would do, he thought, and that's something he's truly working on. It also doesn't hurt that he can continue his detailed investigation when she's there.

Sasuke wraps his arms on Sakura's waist. Just to keep her from falling down, of course. And he's struck by how… soft she is. He squeezes her tight and Sakura makes this cute squeak like she was a toy. There's strong muscle there, obviously. Years of training with the Hokage sannin has made sure of that.

But he doesn't know. He squeezes her again. There's still a softness about her that must be inherent in the core of character.

And he's glad that hasn't changed.

The dobe crashes to the floor.

"Naruto!" Sakura sits up but he refuses to let her go. "What the hell are you doing you idiot? You wanna get a concussion?"

Sasuke sighs. His teammates argue back and forth until Naruto says one ill-advised comment too many and gets a punch to the head. It's a familiar sight and he smirks at the blonde's misfortune.

But it does make him think.

Is there something going on here?

He's just trying to get to know his teammate better right?

Well that's the end of his peaceful afternoon

--xxx--

Their routine doesn't change all that much even after he's left the hospital.

They eat together, walk to places together, even go grocery shopping together. And of course, Naruto is not so subtly following them as well. But hey, if Sakura's not bothering about it, then he sees no reason to call out the blonde.

He'd rather it just be the two of them for now anyway.

Which still begs the question why.

Is it just because of his newly discovered guilt at not cultivating a friendship with Sakura when they were younger? That can't be it. They weren't bosom friends but this is pretty much what they used to do before he defected— albeit, with more willing participation on his part now.

She's always been important to him, no matter how hard he tried to deny it later on.

Sakura excitedly moves on to the next stall after seeing a fresh batch of daikon radish being set down.

"Here you go dear," the elderly woman hands him the basket full of tomatoes they just bought. "Give this to your girlfriend will you?"

And then it hits Sasuke.

Oh.

--xxx--

So what now?

He doesn't know what to do with the revelation that this thing between him and Sakura has been long in the making. Honestly, he still reels at the thought. He'd been so consumed with hatred and vengeance back then… how the fuck did this slide through?

And yet it did— an unconscious decision to let her be a part of his life in a way that was different from his relationship with Kakashi or even Naruto.

But one he knows he can't nurture at the moment.

That it survived through his defection and betrayal is already a miracle, but it's tenuous. Fragile. It's like a fractured bone that wasn't set properly. It heals, but in all the wrong ways. And that's not something he wants to happen with him and Sakura.

That's why he knows he has to leave, so he can fix himself.

And maybe she needs some time to spend on herself as well, after he's made her spend so much of their young lives searching for him and trying to bring him back.

But how does he tell her that?

Sasuke chases Sakura after the dobe's latest verbal gaffe. He'd been planning to tell her today, after a night together at the celebration. He figured she'd be in a good mood and perhaps a whole day together would make their imminent parting less bitter.

"You've been quiet all night, Sasuke-kun," she says as he catches up to her. "Well, even more than you've been recently."

"…Aa."

"Ryo for your thoughts?"

"Let's stop here for a bit."

Sakura laughs, full and melodious, and he doesn't know why. She shakes her head. "Of course you'd end up telling me here."

Sasuke looks around wondering what was so special about this place and he's taken back in time, four years to be exact. It was a night much like this when, with only the full moon standing witness, Sakura poured her heart out in an effort to stop him from leaving Konoha.

But he did anyway.

Shit.

"Sakura, I…"

"You're leaving again."

Sasuke's mouth goes dry. "You know."

"Kakashi-sensei mentioned it. I don't know if Naruto knows though. Did you take me out today to soften the blow?" Sakura's smile is watery. He knows she doesn't bear him any ill will about it but he's always hated seeing her cry. Not because he's annoyed at her weakness, but because he's frustrated at his inability to stop them.

And okay, they were twelve, it was a little annoying.

Sasuke tells her just that. He sits on the very bench he laid her on all those years ago and invites her to do the same. "You're so annoying you know that?"

"Sasuke-kun!" She pouts in that adorable little way that has her puffing out her cheeks but she sits next to him anyway.

"This is different than last time," he assures her. Sasuke gives her his whole focus, baring himself as much as he could even though it'll never compare to the way she once did. "And I didn't ask you out today because I wanted to 'soften the blow.' I asked you out… because I wanted to."

After all this time, she finally blushes from the roots of her hair down to her neck. Like the thirteen-year old she once was. "I didn't know you were such a tease Sasuke-kun."

Oh, she hasn't seen anything yet.

It's something he resolves within himself to do more and more from now on— to discover what else could make her this happy.

They have the time for that now. They always have.

Because being with Sakura isn't some new wondrous journey to undertake. It's like being away for a long while and falling back into place.