"You know, you should really eat something."
Eleanor had been sitting next to Gally for two days now. She had barely slept, Gally's screams keeping her awake. But there was no way she was going to leave. She owed it to him, he had put up with her screaming. And even if she didn't owe him, it did not matter. She wanted, she needed to be there. She was scared that if she left something bad would happen to him.
She had a horrible headache and she felt she could collapse in any second. But no matter how awful she felt, she knew she wasn't suffering as much as Gally was.
Even when he wasn't screaming his face contorned in a mask of pain. Black veins populated his neck and part of his face and she had heard Jeff say they covered almost his entire body too.
She watched as he pulled agaisnt his restrains. Whatever was happening inside his mind was like a torture to him.
Eleanor's eyes filled with tears as he watched him mutter under his breath.
When Minho had come looking for her she had followed him without a second thought, her mind going crazy at the thought of something bad happening to Gally, to her friend.
"What's happening to him?" she had asked as they watched Jeff and Clint hovering over Gally.
He lay very still, his skin was starting to turn a greenish colour and his eyes were rolling around in their sockets.
"He was stung." Alby had said from across the room.
He stood with Newt at the other side of the bed, both of them carrying matching worried looks. Everyone else was waiting outside the homestead, following orders from Alby. Well, more like threats.
She had no clue as to why they had let her in but she was incredibly thankful they had.
"What does that mean?" She had asked.
Minho had already mentioned he had been 'stung' but she did not know what that meant.
But, watching Gally she knew it was something bad, really bad.
"It means a griever got him." Had spoken Newt.
She looked up, her wide eyes meeting his sad expresion. In any other circumstance, she would have been more than surprised to hear Newt speaking directly to her but nothing else but Gally was on her mind.
"A griever?" She said, "But he... How?"
She did not understand. Gally was a builder. He didn't go out in the maze, and the griever didn't go inside of the glade. Did they?
She was staring intently at Newt waiting for his answer, but it was Minho who spoke.
"We're not really sure. The builders said they heard something in the north corridor. Maybe Gally thought it was a glader, I don't know. I just found him there."
His voice trailed off into silence.
"He went into the maze?" She asked in disbelief.
He went to save someone who wasn't there and got hurt in the process. He was attacked for nothing.
"What's happening to him?"
"We've injected him with the serum." Clint said, still taking care of Gally, "It's the antidote, or it's supposed to be."
"What does it do?" Her voice had started to sound more and more broken, adopting a desperate tone.
It was taking her all of her willpower not to burst into tears.
"We're not sure." Jeff was the one to answer this time.
"Not many shanks have been stung." Alby said.
"And even less have survived." Newt added.
Alby glared at him, not appreciating his input.
"What happens to them?" She asked.
"They go throught the Changing." Alby answered, but before she had time to ask what it was Minho explained.
"They remember."
They remembered?
As in before they woke up in the glade?
She didn't have time to dwell on it. And she didn't really want to, all she wanted was for Gally to live.
"But he will be okay, right?" She asked, desperation clear in her voice.
She knew the answer before they spoke but she needed them to lie to her. She desperately needed to know he was going to be fine.
"Even if he is," Newt had said, "He will certainly not be the same."
"You know, you should really eat something." Clint said as he entered the room and found her sitting next to Gally's bed as if she had never left, which she hadn't.
"I'm not hungry."
And she didn't feel hungry at all. She was not sure how long she'd been inside the racked room inside the homestead, watching Gally go through the Changing and both med-jacks going back and forth.
It was a lot easier for her to handle when Minho was with her. But, he had a job to do and he couldn't very well ignore the first rule of the glade just to keep her company.
She knew she should follow his lead, get some air, strech her legs... Maybe even work. She wasn't exactly helping Gally in any way, but she couldn't bring herself round to leave him.
Plus, no one had come looking for her, or Gally for that matter. Well, except Jeff and Clint, and the ocasional visit from Alby.
She knew Gally had friends. He was respected and nice to everybody, so she knew they cared about him. She guessed they didn't want to see him in that state. Maybe they thought he wasn't going to make it.
Eleanor knew it was a highly probable outcome. Minho had told her that the few gladers who had survived the changing hadn't survived the memories, whatever that meant. So there wasn't anyone still alive who had gone through what Gally was going through.
But she thought that if maybe he survived this, if maybe he lived, then she would help him cope with the rest. She'd help him with his demons just like he had done with hers.
It took a total of three days for him to wake up.
He had been mumbling in his sleep for the previous two but hadn't totally regained full consciousness.
She was staring at his face because he had looked calm for once. His face looked almost normal, like he was sleeping. Eleanor thought he looked peaceful.
And then, his eyes opened, slowly.
He didn't scream or shot up with his eyes tinted red. No. He woke up as if nothing had happened, as if it was simply another day.
Eleanor held her breath, scared that if she made even the smallest of noises, she would disturb him.
She watched his eyes wander around the room before finally settling on her.
"Eleanor?"
His voice sounded raspy and pained. But, in that moment she thought it was the best sound to grace her ears.
A smile broke its way through her lips and she felt a tear roll down her cheek.
He looked confused for a moment then his eyes filled with that warmth she knew only Gally could have.
It was quickly gone as Jeff and Clint walked through the door.
"He's awake." Jeff said, "Tell Alby."
Clint obeyed and left the room.
Eleanor gave Jeff space to check on Gally and let the Med-jack do his job. But she did not leave.
He was alive. He was okay. She felt she could breath again for the first time in days.
When Alby arrived, things quickly turned chaotic.
Eleanor stood aside as they hovered over Gally.
Once Alby got the green light from Jeff, he stepped closer to the bed.
"What do you know?" He demanded.
Eleanor thought she didn't like his aproach but kept quiet. She shifted so she could watch the exchange better.
Gally stared up at the ceiling, not looking at any of them. But he didn't look thoughtful, he looked vacant.
When he spoke, his voice lacked any emotion.
"There's no way out," He said, "They won't let us leave."
The atmosphear of the room turned quiet, too quiet. Every outside noise sounded muffled to Eleanor, like she was underwater.
Their attention was solely focused on Gally's words.
"What did you see?" Alby questioned again.
But Gally seemed to have said everything he wanted. He did not answer.
Alby wasn't pleased. He stepped even closer and grabbed his arm to catch his attention.
Gally wasn't phased. He kept staring straight ahead.
"Gally, what did you see?" He spoke slowly as if he was talking to a child.
Gally's eyes snapped to him so quickly and unexpectedly Eleanor slightly jumped.
"We can't, we're all dead. We can't leave."
And then he kept repeating, "We can't leave. Don't make me leave. We can't leave. We can't leave..."
He kept saying those words so fast they mixed between eachother.
His voice was frantinc and his eyes looked so scared it broke Eleanor's heart.
Alby tried asking more questions but he didn't stop talking, they would both raise their voice over the other's.
Eleanor stepped forwards, her eyes locked on Gally's panicked face. She was scared, not for herself, but for him. He looked crazy with the way his lips were moving and his eyes drifted from one place to another so fast it was hard to keep track.
Alby's yells mixed with his, deafening her.
"Stop!" She yelled over their voices, "Leave him!"
The room felt silent, too silent.
They all stared at her.
She looked at Alby, her angry stare boring into him.
He looked ashamed to have lost control. He nodded at her and stepped aside to leave her space.
She looked at Gally but his expresion was so different from before. He looked confused, but slighty indifferent.
Eleanor then thought she didn't recognize Gally in those eyes and she remember Newt's words as he had told her Gally might not be the same.
She had been so worried about him living, she hadn't given any thought about what would happen when he did. She told herself it did not matter that he looked different. She knew her Gally was in there somewhere.
He couldn't have just become a different person just because he had remembered some things. She just had to help him go back to who he was.
"Are you okay?" She asked him.
The light in his eyes changed for a second and a flare of hope shot through Eleanor.
It was soon gone but she was sure he had recognized her. He had looked sad but, mostly, he had looked like her Gally.
However, that light was soon replaced by a mask of harshness, making her wonder if she had imagined it.
"Leave."
"What?" She asked, startled.
"You!" He said. His eyes were drilling holes into her, so there was no doubt who he was refering to. "Leave."
His voice was low, menacing.
She flinched. He hadn't screamed, but she felt like he had.
That was not Gally. That was not her friend.
How was it possible? He had recognized her when he had woken up.
"Go away." He repeated.
"C'mon Eleanor" Clint said.
He walked to her and grabbed her arms, leading her gently out of the room.
She couldn't speak. She heard Gally's voice screaming at her to leave once again.
She closed her eyes and let Clint guide her away. Gally's yells following them outside.
But that was not Gally, she told herself.
She let Clint take control of where they were going and away... Away from that boy's screams. That boy she no longer recognized. That boy that sounded like his best friend, but wasn't.
She didn't know how she had gotten there, or why.
Somehow her feet had led her to the Northern door of the maze.
She simply sat there staring straight ahead, her tears long gone.
The sun was still fairly high up in the sky so she knew it would be a while before Minho came back from his runner duties.
She knew some gladers were staring at her from afar, wondering if she had gone mad, wondering what she was doing so close to the doors. But none of them approached her and she was glad they didn't.
It was a while before she heard anything other than her own breathing and the thoughts inside her head.
She heard someone's footsteps next to her but she didn't look. She kept looking straight ahead hoping they would leave. But they didn't.
She felt them sit beside her and she closed her eyes, still praying they would let her be.
It didnt work.
She opened her eyes and looked at them. She was surprised to see Newt but she didn't show it.
It didn't even matter anyway, all she could think about was Gally and all she could feel was sadness.
"Here." He said, dropping a something in her lap. Whatever it was felt warm and was wrapped in a napkin so she guessed it was food.
"What are you doing here. Newt?" Her voice sound tired, and she was. She just hoped he would leave her alone, "If you're worried I'm going to run out don't worry. We both know I don't have the guts to go out there anyway."
He didn't speak for a few seconds. She almost felt like apologizing but she didn't. He didn't get to ignore her for weeks and then simply drop by as if nothing had happened. Not when she felt like she just lost her best friend.
"I'm sorry," He said, "about Gally, I mean."
She felt a pang in her chest like she had for the past days.
"Me too." She said.
They were silent for a while.
Eleanor wondered why he was there. They weren't friends, it didn't make sense. She could feel that wave of sadness coming to her again and she gritted her teeth.
"Please Newt, just leave." She said, her voice sounding incredibly sad even to her own ears.
"I will." He said, "As soon as you eat something."
He nodded his head towards the package still resting in her lap.
She took it in her hands examining it. It was poorly wrapped. As she took the napking off, she observed a badly made sandwich that looked more like a mess than a sandwich. She wondered if Newt had made it. She grabbed it with both hands hoping it wouldn't fall apart and despite the lump in her throat, she bit into it.
Her throat felt so sore it screamed for her not to eat any more. But her stomach greeted the food gladly so she ate more. Despite its poorly appearance the taste was acceptable, although it was nothing compared to Frypan's cooking.
She almost thanked Newt, but she stopped herself. She didn't know why he was doing that, cooking for her, worrying about her.
Once she finished, she looked at Newt waiting for him to go.
She had followed her side of the deal, so he had to follow his. None of them spoke as he got up, but before he left, he spoke.
"You're wrong, you know? You do have guts." And he was gone.
She shook her head, she knew that wasn't true.
Eleanor suddenly felt really cold so she hugged herself.
She felt awful. She hadn't realized how Newt had distracted her and made her feel slightly better. But now, she was back on page one.
The chilly evening air surprised her. It was never cold in the glade. But she knew why it was. Newt's body irradated so much warmth, she had noticed it before, that when he left he took it all with him.
But no matter how cold she felt, she didn't move.
She waited there until Minho came and found her hugging her knees, trying to keep herself warm and trying not to let the voices in her head win.
She hadn't seen him come. She hadn't heard him jog up to her.
"El?" He said.
She looked up upon hearing her nick-name. It was something Minho had begun using very recently. It was something Gally had started and it was a simbol of friendship and intimacy. Minho and Gally were her friends and she loved when they called her that.
But just then, it was a word that cut deep inside of her, twisting, like a knife. And when Minho said it she could almost hear Gally's voice in her mind.
Seeing her face made Minho crunch down to her level.
Not sure if it was finally seeing her friend or everything that had happened that day, but as soon as their eyes met, Eleanor started crying. Her breaths started coming out fast and pained.
As soon as he noticed Minho grabbed her face between his hands.
"Hey, hey, hey." He said, his thumbs caressing away the tears that escaped her eyes, "What's wrong? What happened?"
"It's Gally." She managed to say between breaths, "He's awake."
Minho looked confused, "But that's a good thing, right?"
She nodded in his hands, but she couldn't stop crying.
Minho sat down and wrapped an arm around her. She sinked into him.
She was so glad to have Minho there with her. He was like a band-aid, he couldn't fix her but he helped protect the wound.
"He's not him." She said through her sobbing, "He's not Gally."
He was silent for a moment.
They both held their breaths as the doors started to close. When the glade fell quiet once again, he broke the silence.
"I know." He said, "But he is alive."
He was right. She knew it.
So what if they didn't get to be BFFs anymore? So what if he was not her friend?
She was being selfish. He was alive, that was supposed to be all that mattered.
So, she would accept it. She would accept that she might have lost a part of herself, as long as it meant that Gally was fine. She'd live, and so would he.
She nodded, forcing back her tears.
She rested on his, then, wet shirt and she realised what she was putting him through.
He was supposed to be in the map-room, she knew that. But he had stayed, for her.
A warmth spread through her and she felt her care for the runner growing.
She wanted to apologize for being a burden to him, for alway being the whiny girl who was no good for nothing. She wanted to tell him how lucky she was to have him, and how much everything he did meant to her.
But, like always, she never said as much as she wanted to.
"I'm sorry, Minho." She said, "I wet your shirt."
Then, she heard Minho's chuckle and she felt at home once again.
"Why do you always apologize?" He questioned.
"I don't know." She replied, slightly smiling.
They sat there for a while. She felt bad for keeping Minho from his dinner but she didn't want to move. And if she had asked him he would have said the same.
But, when Minho's stomach made a grumbling noise the moment was broken.
She laughed, and was surprised to see Minho blushing in the dark.
They got up and headed towards the kitchens in an unspoken decision.
On their way, Eleanor decided to ask him something that had been bothering her since day one.
She didn't seem to be able to cope with her feelings the way the rest of them did, so maybe there was something she was doing wrong. Maybe there was something she could do to feel better and stop being so sensitive.
"Minho?" She said.
He glanced at her as they walked and offered a simply questioning look.
"What do you do when you're feeling stressed or sad?"
He stared at her for a few seconds, wondering where that had come from.
When he answered he let out a loud chuckle and smirked. And when Minho smirked, the world was okay again.
"What else?" He answered, "I run."