Clarke patted the creature's mane a few times, trying to get a sense for whether it was a biter. Or a kicker. It had a back wide enough for riding and it was swift-footed, so they had decided to ignore the weird claws on its hooves and the spikes under its belly and call it a horse. She was sure that it was no tame creature. She was taking a big risk, getting on its back, but she had somewhere to be by dawn tomorrow and this was the only way to get there. The creature was ignoring her pats, so she went ahead and mounted it. It was low enough to the ground that she didn't need a leg up. They hadn't wanted to risk igniting its temper with a saddle or reins, so she would be riding freestyle and hoping for the best. She didn't think it was worth the effort to ask the creature to circle around, so she just called out to Bellamy over her shoulder. "Ready?"

"Ready."

And they were off.

It would have been more economical to double up on the horses, to share. The horses were certainly big enough for that. Octavia had been on the verge of suggesting it when Clarke had cut her off with a loud question about the curve of the river they were to follow on their journey. That had earned her a very knowing look. Octavia only thought she knew what was inside of Clarke's head. And Clarke only thought that she knew what Octavia thought she thought. It was an exhausting maze, even more so when you added in the conjectures of Raven and Murphy and the random boy she had passed on her way to the toilet this morning.

Clarke knew her own mind. It was simple. She didn't want to share the horse. They had two horses, they would use two horses. End of story. Clarke didn't know any horsey commands and the horses didn't know any human commands. But that didn't matter. She and the horse were of the same mind. Run. Run fast.

They flew across the open ground. The breeze whipped her hair around her face until she could barely see. She wanted to scream and laugh, but the air was dusty so she kept her mouth firmly shut and settled for a smile. She turned to face Bellamy. She looked to the side, not to the back, because she knew with a bone deep certainty that he would be matching her stride for stride. And there he was. She looked ahead again and they galloped onwards.

They lost track of time as they raced across the plain, destination almost forgotten. Until her horse stumbled. It galloped on unevenly for a few steps before coming to an abrupt halt at her urging. She slid off the horse gingerly, but before she could examine its hooves, it was off again, continuing the journey without her. A devious trick. She was disgruntled, but her respect for the creature went up a notch. She stood and waited, resigning herself to the inevitable.

They had one horse and they would share it. End of story. Except that it wasn't. There would be a next time and a time after that. Each time it would be harder to justify having her own horse. With one horse there was less room for baggage. The vision of one person was compromised. They would make an easier target. If something went wrong, there was no backup. If anything, this incident proved that she had been right. She could argue her case. She would argue her case, to anyone who stood in her way. She just had to get through today first. It would be okay.

When Bellamy and his horse pulled up next to her, he took one look at her grumpy expression and smiled in unholy amusement. "Do you doubt my horsemanship that much Clarke?"

"I just don't like feeling confined," she said. "But I'll get over it."

Would she get over it? It was more than just the horse ride. She didn't want to be a prisoner to the warmth and the giddiness and the wondering. She didn't want to be shackled to the what ifs and maybes. She didn't want to want. She had tried so hard to keep that cell door open, but now she could see it closing, inch by inch.

"You can steer," he said good-naturedly.

She thought if he was offering to give up control then she must look really scary. She made an effort to stop brooding and relax her facial muscles. "No, I trust you. Keep the reins."

He patted the horse's bare neck.

"The metaphorical reins. I don't need to hold them. I just…"

"You wish there didn't need to be any reins at all." He slid neatly off the horse.

"Bellamy! If we lose a second horse we'll be stranded in the middle of nowhere." She pushed him back towards the horse, putting a gentle hand on the horse's neck at the same time, though she knew if it decided to run her grip wouldn't even slow it down.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" There was a glint in his eye, one that made her heart beat faster.

"Yes, it would! We could starve, we could freeze to death, we could…"

"We could enjoy the moment. Have some space to breathe."

Clarke shook her head furiously, trying not to be lulled by his smooth voice. "We have somewhere to be."

"We've already covered so much ground. We can afford to take our time." There was understanding in his eyes. There had been so many emotions between them, from grief to joy, but more and more these days, when she looked at him, she just found that calm understanding. She craved it and found it hard to stop herself from catching his eye over and over again just to see it. He reached for her hand and she met him halfway.

At first, it was just a friendly pat, the kind that they exchanged all the time. Then her fingers curled around his palm and suddenly it was a touch with intent. And her intentions weren't pure at all. They were muddled and conflicted and alive. He stood completely still for a few seconds while she stroked his hand, fascinated by the friction between their skin. But when she reached up and pressed her lips to his, taking the experiment further, he responded quick as lightning, returning the kiss eagerly.

There was nothing around to lean on, so they held each other up. It should have been a clumsy disaster, but she knew Bellamy's body intimately. What she didn't know with her hands, she knew with her eyes. She found that she had a well of previously subconscious knowledge rising to the surface. She could trace the path of his shoulder blades with her eyes closed, could recall the height of his knee. They clung to each other tightly and created warmth everywhere, on their lips and hands and all over. It was like standing in a beam of sunlight.

The ending of the kiss was mutual. They untangled and withdrew just an inch and then she became Clarke again. She tilted her head, partly to get her hair out of her eyes and partly to try and jog her brain into working again. She was surprised by what she found when it did. "Huh, that was easier than I expected."

"Are you calling me easy Clarke?" He brushed her hair behind her ear for her.

She shook her head, patting down his hair in return. It looked windswept, but she knew she was responsible for at least half of the damage. "That isn't what I meant. I meant this. The after part. I thought this would ruin us, but it hasn't. It feels the same. I'm still me. You're still you. We're still us."

"Is that a good thing?"

"It's a miracle."

"So… you… we…"

She tugged at a lock of his hair playfully, then stepped back to look at it from another angle. It was as fixed as it was going to be. Really, she had only wanted something innocent to do with her hands. There was no one around to see his messy hair except her and the horse. The horse wouldn't care, and she felt kind of proud of her own handiwork. "You couldn't possibly doubt that I want to do that again."

"No, I couldn't possibly." There had been a flash of insecurity in his eyes, but her words had wiped it away.

They both stared off awkwardly in opposite directions for a few moments. Clarke decided they needed to get back some sense of normalcy. "Maybe we should take a lunch break?"

"Yes. Lunch. Great idea." He nodded enthusiastically.

The ground was too hard to sit comfortably, so they ate standing up, digging into the sandwiches from their backpacks. They talked lazily about the mission ahead of them, repeating things they had already said the day before. They weren't exactly pretending the kiss didn't happen, but they were pushing it to the background. Clarke couldn't eat and think about the kiss at the same time, so she chose eating. It was a strategic decision. If it were to happen again anytime soon, she would need to keep her energy up.

Bellamy reached for a third sandwich. She slapped his hand away from the backpack. "No more food. I want my own horse back. We are going to scour the countryside and hunt her down, then bribe her into submission. If we're hungry, she must be ravenous."

His grin was as wide as she had ever seen it. "That's my girl."

"Angry and stubborn? You must be delusional from hunger if you think this is my cute face." She climbed onto the remaining horse's back. She slid backwards and motioned to the space in front of her. She had meant what she said about trusting him to steer and she wanted to focus on scouting for her missing horse.

"I love you this way Clarke." The look in his eyes was so sincere that it almost hurt. She fiddled around with her backpack while he took his place on the horse.

When they were both settled in, she put her arms around his waist and pressed her head into his shoulder, so that her voice came out muffled. "I love you this way too."

Clarke suspected that she loved Bellamy in every way, but she wasn't going to show all her cards at once. As they galloped off again, she thought that sharing wasn't so bad after all.