Chapter 18: Exit the Dragon
Harry sleepily opened his mouth to receive his thumb, but something was impeding its arrival. He opened his eyes. It was dark, but Harry could tell he was not in his nursery. It smelled a bit like his napping room at St. Mungo's. He tried to pull his arm out from under the bedcovers with no success. Though they were not uncomfortably tight, they did hold him down quite securely.
"Pomfee?" he whispered, and tried once again to get free. "Pomfee. Uh! Uh - my 'tuck." Harry stopped struggling and lay still, breathing heavily. Soon his breaths evened out as he drifted back to sleep, a frown marring his features.
~o~
His eyes traveled slowly down his sleeve as the blood-darkened stone fell from numb hands. The visage at his feet was barely recognizable; nonetheless, he knew the man. It was Healer Vanes. His skull was half smashed in; the remaining eye stared blankly upward.
"What have you done now, boyo?"
Nurse Ackerly's sharp tone startled him and he took a faltering step back. Panic gripped his heart as he saw a Dementor with Ackerly's face gliding towards him, its long, ragged robes floating about.
Instinct took over. He pushed himself up and sprinted away from the rancid thing, but slipped suddenly, landing face first in a wide puddle …what was it? Human remains. More ever than could have come from Vanes' body. Draco tried to scramble away, but felt a cold, bony hand grip his ankle. His hands scrabbled uselessly at the offal beneath him, and he heard the raspy breath of the Dementor drawing ever closer, until he felt its putrid exhalation on his neck.
~o~
Draco sat numbly in the waiting area, staring between his knees at the floor. His school Nurse, Madam Pomfrey was there. He briefly wondered why. For Harry? Harry… Draco watched her leaving Vanes' office and promptly faded out.
"Thank you, Healer Vanes," said Madam Pomfrey. "I'll just Floo back to Hogwarts to gather some of Harry's things. We'll see you a bit later, then?"
Healer Vanes nodded curtly as she left and turned his attention to Draco. He led the unresisting boy into his office and bade him sit before casting "Enervate."
Draco blinked and cast about to get his bearings. Ah. Healer Vanes' office. Perhaps then not too much time had passed and no one had noticed his 'absence'.
"Why was the nurse from Hogwarts here?" he asked the Healer.
"I am not at liberty to discuss my other cases with you, Draco, as I am sure you know. I am curious, however, was she the reason you 'left us' just now?"
Damn. "I don't know," Draco said sullenly, and he attempted to affect indifference.
"I disagree," was the Healer's smug rejoinder.
"I don't," he ground out, clenching his hands by his thighs.
"Come now, Draco," the Healer said smoothly, "you aren't going to get very far if you don't start taking more of an interest in your recovery."
"I don't ca–"
"Cease! 'I don't care' is not an acceptable response."
Draco looked up at the man in surprise. Vanes' voice had risen in anger for the first time since Draco had met him. More confrontation, then… Draco felt the familiar numbness settle over him and his eyes lost their focus. He let out an unrealized sigh of relief as his mind descended. But again he was jarred out of his peaceful retreat by the Healer, and after a few minutes of silence the man spoke to him.
"You cannot stay here forever, Draco," Vanes said gently.
Draco wiped at his stinging eyes. "I have nowhere to go," he said simply, and let his mind drift away again.
Vanes stared at the boy's glassy-eyed expression and let his shoulders slump uncharacteristically. Unsurprisingly, the boy had faded out again. This was already happening entirely too often, and now it was with increasing frequency. The Healer made his way to his desk, arranged himself comfortably in his seat and dipped his quill into the cauldron-shaped inkwell before scratching it across the scroll in small, precise letters.
Observations:
The patient is afraid to progress, likely due to his legitimate fear that progression would lead to his release from St. Mungo's (and possible subsequent incarceration) into a society where others will scorn him as much as he hates himself.
Recommendations:
Patient D. requires an external goal to start with: a position of some responsibility. A task he can succeed at. This may well allow him to begin to develop a sense of self-worth…
When he had finished updating his report, Vanes took out his wand, pointed it at Draco and whispered, "Legillimens." What he saw enraged him to the very core.
Lucius Malfoy's vicious attack on Harry and then on his own son.
Draco defending Harry and himself – unintentionally killing his father.
Ronald Weasley's look of utter hatred as he grabbed and roughly bound Draco.
Headmistress McGonagall's steely mistrust and obvious dislike of Draco.
Harry's teary-eyed 'Goodbye'.
Draco's gross mistreatment at the hands of the Aurors and his prison guards.
A highly unconventional plan began to form in the Healer's mind. "Come with me, Draco," the Healer said, guiding the compliant boy into the corridor.
Vanes came to a stop outside the door to a private patient's room. "Draco." He shook the boy's shoulder and called to him again, "Draco, come back now."
Draco blinked and looked around at his unfamiliar surroundings. He'd just been in Vanes' office. He had faded out again, without even trying to. This was bad. Very bad. His head throbbed horribly. Had he been Enervated? How much time he had lost, Draco could not say. Then he became aware that Healer Vanes was speaking to him in low tones.
Vanes took out a small grey phial from his robes. "Drink this. It will alleviate your headache." He uncorked the phial and handed it to Draco, who took the proffered remedy, downing it slowly. Vanes banished the empty bottle.
"That's better. Now, what I am about to do is highly unorthodox – even by Complimentary Medical standards. However, I think that you may be of some help to me with my newest patient…"
Draco was entirely uninterested and on the verge of another mental retreat when he heard Vanes' last words.
"…Harry Potter."
Vanes was pleased to see his words were having the desired effect. He had Draco's full and present attention. Examining the chart by the door, Vanes noted that the monitoring spell listed Potter as 'Sleeping – Sticking Charm in effect', and he said lowly, "He is asleep at the moment. Would you like to see him?"
Draco, barely nodding in reply, followed Vanes in, determined to maintain his composure.
The Healer opened the door to reveal a single hospital cot, on which lay Harry Potter. The coverlet was tucked up to his chin. He let Draco stare for a bit, before tapping the boy's arm lightly in signal that it was time to leave.
Draco did not want to leave. Even in sleep, Harry looked…troubled. "Is he alright?" asked Draco softly when they were again in the corridor. "What happened to him?" Had someone attacked the Boy Who Lived? That hardly seemed likely, given the security he must surely be under. Had he been in an accident?
"That is yet to be determined," Vanes' expression was frustratingly unreadable. And this merely served to agitate Draco. Vague answers, again!
"Why do you always have to be so bloody cryptic!" he hissed, as they walked towards the lift.
Vanes only arched an eyebrow at Draco's outburst. "I am merely stating fact," the Healer replied. "And here is another fact: I have been reviewing your school records –"
Draco's heart sank at this. He had been beginning to think that in Vanes he had finally found someone who did not despise him on sight. However, Draco knew full well that his behaviour in sixth year would surely disavow Vanes of any such notion.
At the boy's crestfallen look, Vanes held up a hand and proceeded.
" – and they indicate to me that you are in possession of innate leadership qualities. In point of fact, you could, if you so desired, be a role model for some of your fellow ward-mates – that is if you weren't so completely focused on yourself. You could help me with Mr Potter, for example."
Draco's head shot up so fast his neck cracked audibly – though he didn't spare so much as a wince. Now more than ever, did this man remind Draco of his Godfather, Severus. It hurt to think of that loss. Almost a year had passed since Severus had been discovered as a double agent and murdered by his 'fellow' Death Eaters. Draco's hurt came out as anger, which he readily directed at the smug Healer standing before him.
"Sod off. I know what you're trying to do."
"Indeed," was the dry reply.
"You're just trying to distract me so I don't try to off myself again!" Draco hated being manipulated – ironic, since that was one of the things he himself had excelled at back at school in Slytherin.
"Hm. Is it working?"
This rejoinder caught Draco off guard. He didn't like that much; it raised something within. "That has yet to be determined," he answered, mimicking the Healer's tone of earlier. This was met, Draco noted, with a look of approval from the Healer.
For his part, the Healer felt that if Draco's Slytherin instincts were at least coming to the fore, he was doing alright for the present. "Let us retire to my office to discuss this further."
Draco followed Vanes in silence for as long as he could stand it. But finally he blurted out, "How can I possibly be of help to him?"
"To whom?" asked Vanes absently.
"To Harry-bloody-Potter, blast you. You know what I'm talking about!" Draco shouted, half exasperated, half afraid. He looked around to see if anyone had heard his outburst, but the corridor was empty but for them.
Vanes said nothing more as they walked the rest of the way to his office. Draco followed him in, fists clenched tightly and he stiffly took a seat when asked to. Vanes used his wand to send a locking charm and uttered, "Muffliato," before speaking. "What I am about to tell you is not to go beyond this room. I am telling you this in the strictest confidence, and your silence on this is imperative." He paused a moment, treating Draco with a penetrating look. "I will require an Oath of you."
Draco shivered. The man looked not just serious, but dangerous, again bringing the memory of Severus Snape to Draco's mind. If he did not know for certain that Snape was dead, he might have entertained the notion… No. The very idea was ridiculous. Draco shook the thought away and answered solemnly, "Yes, sir. You have my word…as a wizard."
"Very well," Vanes said, lowering himself into his chair. "It seems that Mr Potter, Harry, has been engaging in some self-injurious behaviours.
Draco felt as though he had been hit in the gut with a bludger. A softly whispered, "Oh," was all he could manage.
"I intend to determine why he is doing this, and to do so, I need to gain his trust rather quickly. To that end, I think that if you accompany me, it will ease my path. He appears to have some measure of affection for you."
Draco turned red and swallowed hard as he recalled what Granger had said about Harry thinking Draco was his protector – because of Lucius. He began to fade.
"Draco! Stay with me, Dragon!"
Draco froze. No. This man couldn't be Snape. Could he? Snape was dead. Killed by Death Eaters. It was a known fact. Draco desperately wanted to ask Vanes how he knew the name, "Dragon." But then, Vanes' eyes bore into Draco's and he was struck dumb.
Vanes' eyes narrowed as he continued to hold Draco's gaze. "Tell me, Draco, what would have happened if you had not intervened that day in the forbidden forest? What would have happened to Harry?"
Draco wanted to look away, but he simply could not. "I-I don't want to talk about that," he stammered.
"What would have happened if you'd just kept your place?" The question had multiple meanings, they both knew. "Safely hidden?"
Draco tried to stave off the flashbacks threatening to overwhelm him. He jerked his head sharply several times, as if to dislodge the oncoming images and took a step back from Vanes. "I want to go back to my room, now." His eyes were wild, panicked.
"You could have just left, and avoided all this," Vanes spread his hands out. "You didn't have to do anything. No one would have known. What sort of Slytherin were you being?" He took a step towards Draco, who retreated further until he could retreat no more, his back flush against the door.
"Stop…" Draco pressed a hand to his head, trying to banish the images, but they kept surfacing in violent flashes.
"What would Lucius have done?"
Draco took his head in both hands, He gripped his hair as he jerked his head from side to side. Don't, blast it. Get out of my head – get out!
"Tell me!" shouted Vanes, startling Draco to stillness. "What was your father going to do to Harry Potter, who lay there completely helpless and at Lucius' 'mercy'," sneered Vanes.
Draco looked at Vanes and slowly sank to his knees. "Don't…" he said, but he expected no mercy for himself either. Vanes was supposed to be a Healer, supposed to help Draco. But he was just like all the others after all, cruel and relentless.
"Say it, Draco! You must face it!" Vanes' voice was more of an entreaty now.
Defeated, Draco could not face the man. "I… I can't."
"You can. You are a Slytherin. You are strong. And you are not alone, Dragon." His words were softer now. Still firm, but also… kind.
"Wh-who are you?" Draco asked incredulously. None but his parents and his godfather ever called him 'Dragon'.
The Healer got on his knees to be level with Draco, and put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "You know who I am, Dragon. And I know who you are.
"Now tell me the truth. What was your father preparing to do as Harry lay incapacitated, unable to defend himself?"
"But… No. No… but I…killed him. S-Severus?"
The Healer looked at him in silence for but a moment. "Yes," he said simply, and Draco swayed and would have fallen over had not the man pulled him close. "Yes, Draco, you did kill him. And you did have a choice. And now, I ask you again: Tell. Me. What did you choose to do – and why?"
"He didn't care that Mother was d-dead. I was so angry with him." Draco was crying softly, trying to stifle it.
"That's not what I asked you, Dragon."
"H-He was going to kill Harry. To slaughter him like – but, I k-killed him, Severus. I murdered father." Draco whispered through his tears.
"Yes. Though that was not your intention. And you chose to save an innocent, helpless boy from a madman. A boy – I might add – to whom we all owe a great dept. What if you hadn't intervened? If you had stayed safely hidden and watched you father commit murder? For he was the one with murderous intentions, not you. Lucius was deranged. He would have been caught eventually, and given the Dementors' Kiss; a fate far worse than death."
"Are you trying to tell me I did him a favour?" Draco barked out a near hysterical laugh at the absurdity of the suggestion.
"In a way, it was a mercy. But however you wish to look at it, the deed is done. And that cannot be changed. Will you now choose to waste away, wallowing in your own misery? Or will you accept what you have done – accept that it was the best choice you could have made at the time? Do you regret that choice? Even now, knowing that Harry was possessed of the mind of a babe at the time?"
Tears streamed anew down Draco's cheeks; he thought had mastered them. "I don't," he whispered. "I don't regret it. And that is the worst part." His whole body was shaking now with the effort of regaining his self-control.
And though Severus Snape was never the demonstrative type, he helped his godson to stand and squeezed his shoulders reassuringly. Then he led Draco to the sofa. "Lie down and rest now, Dragon," he said, conjuring a warm throw. And Draco did.