57. Surrender

Bonnie stepped past Adele and into the foyer of her cousins' condo. "Are you sure you don't mind? I've been making such a pest of myself lately."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Adele enveloped Bonnie in a quick hug, and then led the way into the living area. "You're smart to put off driving down to the beach house until tomorrow. I saw on the news traffic's so bad on the roads just now, the highways might as well be parking lots." She rounded the breakfast bar into the kitchen, saying over her shoulder, "Have you eaten? There's ratatouille left over from supper, or I could whip you up a sandwich…"

Bonnie dropped her overnight bag onto a chair, and managed a small smile. "Thanks, Dell. I'm not hungry."

"Something to drink, then. What'll you have?" She opened the refrigerator, and peered inside. "I've got mineral water, soda, some apple juice left over from the birthday party…" She extricated a bottle of wine, and held it up to the light. "There's a glass of Pinot Grigio left. You like that, right? Care to polish it off?"

Bonnie wondered for a moment what Adele would say if she asked for a whiskey, neat. "Sure, sounds good."

Adele set the bottle on the counter, and fetched a glass down from an overhead cabinet. "I'd join you, but, as you can see from my ultra-chic outfit, I'm on duty in a couple of hours."

"Night shift?"

"Tonight and tomorrow." She poured out the wine, and slid the glass across the granite top to Bonnie. "Maybe with so many people out of town for the weekend, it'll be quiet in the ER." She fixed herself a tall glass of strong ice tea, and motioned Bonnie to follow her into the sitting area. "Speaking of beachgoers, Sonny called just before you got here. He's decided to stay on through Sunday."

"That's great." Bonnie sank onto one end of the couch, and, toeing off her sandals, folded her legs beneath her. "Gramps'll be in his glory. He doesn't get to spend nearly as much time one-on-one with Sonny as he'd like."

"That goes both ways. He may not show it, but Sonny took losing Grandma Brennan very hard, particularly as it was only six months after Grandma Stinson died. It made him appreciate just how precious the time he has left with Gramps really is, and he's determined to make the most of it."

"Well, I'm glad for both their sakes they were able to have the house to themselves this past week. From what I hear, the place'll be packed to the rafters going forward. Annalise and the boys are going down tomorrow for the rest of the month, Junior and Max are planning to stay over next weekend and a few days after, and then, Uncle Parker and Aunt Naomi will be heading down, which means Eddie will probably put in an appearance."

"Ah!" Adele said, with a mischievous smile. "But will that be with, or without, the inscrutable Deena? That's what I want to know."

They went on to discuss this intriguing question, and other matters relating to the family. When, at length, they'd exhausted the subject, Adele considered her guest a long, silent moment, her expression at once wry and sympathetic. "So… do you want to tell me what's bothering you, or would you rather I pretend not to notice you're blue?"

Bonnie winced self-consciously. "I thought I was covering up pretty well."

"Hiding your feelings has never been your strong suit, honey bun. All I'm saying is, if you want to talk, I'm happy to listen, or we can do the polite fiction thing. Your call."

Bonnie dropped her gaze from Adele's kind eyes to the glass she held loosely cupped in her hand. There remained a few more swallows of wine, she was glad to see, even as she wished once again for something stronger. "I… ah… had to face up to a certain unwelcome truth about myself today. This evening, actually. At the bar." She laughed shortly, without humor. "During 'happy hour,' ironically."

Adele frowned in concern. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Everything." She caught Adele's pained look, and shook her head in apology. "It's like this: we were going out for drinks — the usual Friday Night Regulars — and one of my colleagues, Gabby Franklin, suggested I invite Bear to join us. It was kind of a dare, actually. I was positive he'd say no, and she was just as sure he'd say yes if I asked him. I don't know why I ever doubt the woman! She's never wrong."

"So, Bear surprised you, and agreed to come along. I imagine that was awkward for everyone, him being your supervisor and all."

"It was, at the beginning. Everyone was kind of freaked, very stiff and careful about what they said, but then, Bear told some funny stories about his early days at the Jeff — all at his own expense — and, between that and the booze working its magic, everyone started to loosen up and jump into the conversation, and, just like that, we were the same loud, free-wheeling crew as always."

Adele took a judicious sip of her tea. "Sounds like a good time to me."

"It was. The best. Bear was… well, incredible: easy, open, even talkative. I saw people give each other looks like 'who is this guy, and what's he done with Rudesby?' Most of them had never seen that side of him before."

"Well, I can only speak for myself and, admittedly, it was one small sample size, but I have to say I found him perfectly good company. He must have thanked me three times for hosting Danny's party, as if it was some great favor on my part instead of pure pleasure. I'm so glad you let me help with the arrangements, Bonnie. It was such a treat watching Danny and Luc splash around in the pool, and cannonball from the diving board. They were so cute together, like frisky little otters. Did they really meet at camp only a month ago?"

"Yep. They did two sessions together, and were inseparable by the end of week one. Caro's said she blesses the day she enrolled Luc in camp. Danny's just the kind of friend she would've picked for Luc herself, and, as you might expect, she's already grown fond of Danny for his own sake. Plus, as luck would have it, the boys'll be attending the same elementary school in the Fall, so they'll each start off with a ready-made pal."

"Sweet! By the way, just so you know, Danny's not the only Baer high on Caro's list. 'Such a lovely mon,'" Adele said, doing a creditable imitation of Caro Jolicoeur's Jamaican accent. "Of course, she might've been referring to Bear's looks rather than his character, but we digress. Let's see: you were at the bar, everyone was having a helluva time, and then…?"

Bonnie swallowed hard. "And then, one of the guys told this really salty anecdote about a prank he pulled back in grad school, and we all burst out laughing, and Bear looked across at me, and… smiled. That's all, Dell. He smiled at me like he was all lit up inside, and my heart did this painful thing in my chest like a somersault, and I couldn't breathe…" Her throat closed up again at the memory. She raised her glass, and drank deeply. After a moment, she was able to continue, "All that talk about hearts standing still, or jumping for joy… I always thought those were figures of speech, but the sensation's real, Dell, and not at all pleasant."

"I know, sweetie. I've been there."

Bonnie sighed. "So… that's it. I'm done kidding myself. It's not a physical attraction that'll run its course. I'm not going to come to my senses, and get back on track. I love Bear, Dell. I wish to God I didn't, but wishing's not going to change anything. My heart's set on him. It's no good pretending otherwise."

Adele set her glass aside, and, rising from her chair, dropped down beside Bonnie, and laid a gentle hand on her arm. "You realized you love Bear. And that's an awful thing, is it? Why is that, hon? Explain it to me."

Bonnie shook her head glumly. "He's such a bad bet, Dell. The people's he loved before — his father, his ex-wife — they let him down very badly, and now, he'd rather shut everyone out than risk being hurt like that again."

"And you're afraid he'll never change?" Adele squeezed Bonnie's arm reassuringly. "Hearts are broken every day, hon. It takes some folks longer than others, sure, but everyone recovers sooner or later. Bear will, too."

"Will he, Dell? I'm not so sure."

"What's with the pessimism?" Adele said, in a rallying tone. "Weren't you just telling me he's been different lately? Less distant, more approachable at work? And how about tonight? He could've turned your invitation down, and gone his solitary way, but he didn't. That's a good sign, surely?"

"Yes, but I can't trust it. As open as he was tonight, he could be just as closed off on Monday. It's never one step forward without another step back."

"He's sending mixed messages."

Bonnie nodded. "And I don't know which one to believe. Does he love me? Does he not? I may as well pluck petals from a daisy as look to Bear for an answer."

Adele leaned away, and regarded Bonnie curiously. "Do you seriously doubt he has feelings for you? Because, let me tell you, I don't. Bear may not have run up the white flag yet, like you have, but that man loves you, Bonnie. And I'm not the only one who sees it. Caro took it for granted you two were a couple, and it sounds like your co-worker — Gabby, is it? — was trying to make a point today."

Weeks ago, Sébastien had pronounced Bear jealous, and Rosa, too, had insisted he was smitten. "I want to believe it. You can't know how much. I also want to believe it took us forever to decide on a varnish for La Coupe d'amour because he'd rather be with me than go on vacation, and that he helped me with my submission for the Lebrun symposium because he can't bear the thought of being in Paris without me."

"When he might only have been taking extra precautions with an extremely valuable painting on the one hand, and being a conscientious mentor on the other. I see."

They were silent a long moment, Adele mute with sympathy, Bonnie lost in thought. At length, Bonnie volunteered in a quiet voice, "I told Bear I was having second thoughts about applying for the Louvre Fellowship, that maybe it wasn't the best time for me to commit to a year in Paris, that I could still learn a lot at the Jeff."

Adele's brows shot up. "Do you think he understood what you were really asking?"

"That my decision depended on him? I think so."

"And? What did he say?"

"That it was entirely up to me, that I was the only person who could decide what I wanted and what I could handle, that the Jeff couldn't begin to offer the training I could expect at the Louvre, and that he'd be sorry to think I lacked the ambition to compete for a prestigious position, especially one that had practically landed in my lap."

Adele flinched. "Ouch!"

"Not exactly what I was hoping for," Bonnie said, dryly.

"To be fair, though, as your supervisor, what other answer could he give? His first consideration has to be what's best for your career, not what he wants personally."

"That's true, but he might've said I'd be missed at the Jeff, and that if the fellowship fell through, he hoped I'd consider staying on in my current position. That's what Dr. Cummings said, and he's a consummate professional."

It was Adele's turn to sigh. "Bear's going to be a tough nut to crack, hon, no doubt about it, but, as they say, 'the course of true love never did run smooth.' Especially if your last name's Booth, it seems. Gramps and Grammy had their troubles, famously, then Sonny and I almost didn't get together. Now, Eddie's tearing his hair out over Deena, and you're struggling with Bear."

"It's a family curse, is what you're saying."

"Looks like." She sat back, and considered Bonnie with rueful affection. "Shall I tell you what Gramps said to Sonny when he was at his most discouraged, thinking I'd never marry him? It was advice Gramps had acted on, himself, and swore by." She paused, and, holding Bonnie's gaze steady, said, "Patience and hope. That's what it took to win me over, and that's what you'll need to win Bear." She tightened her grip on Bonnie's arm, and gave it a heartening shake. "You're a fighter, Bonnie. You're strong, and you're resilient. You dig in, and lay siege to Bear's walls, and before you know it, they'll come tumbling down. I know it."

A sudden, low buzzing made them both jump. Adele frowned in annoyance. "My alarm," she said, silencing the noise. She hesitated, eyeing Bonnie uncertainly. "I hate to run out on you like this…"

Bonnie uncurled her legs, and rose slowly to her feet. "Don't worry about me, Dell. I'll be fine."

Adele stood as well, and, taking Bonnie's shoulders between her hands, searched her cousin's eyes. "Do you feel any better?"

"Much." Bonnie wrapped her arms around Adele, and hugged her close. "Thanks for putting up with me. You're an angel. If there's anything more trying than listening to someone moan about their love life, I don't know what it is."

Before leaving for work, Adele made sure Bonnie had everything she needed for the night and next morning, and, with a last embrace, was out the door. Bonnie washed up, slipped into her pajamas, and climbed gratefully into bed. Though tired, she was too wound up to sleep; her restless mind ranged far and wide, revisiting events both recent and removed in time. Various conversations came back to her, as well as stories she'd been told or watched unfold: her grandparents' rocky romance, her grandfather Hodgins' long, painful waiting for Angela, her own parents' tempestuous courtship and early marriage. She found herself lingering over the Wyndham-Pryce's love story, and drawing inspiration from it. The Senator had rebuffed Freya repeatedly, had even tried to promote another man's suit, but Freya had never wavered. She'd endured his mistreatment, and had her reward. Patience and hope, yes; those were the keys. She would wear down Bear's resistance, however long it took. She would never give in to despair…

She sat bolt upright, startled awake by her phone. Momentarily disoriented, she fumbled for the device, and nearly dropped it. She checked the caller id. "Dell?"

"Bonnie! Did I wake you? I'm so sorry…"

"No, no, I just dozed off a minute ago. What'd you need?"

"Me? Nothing. No, sweetie, listen: I didn't think you'd want to wait till morning to find out. They've just brought him in by ambulance…"

Bonnie felt a sudden chill race through her. "My God, Dell? Who? Who are you talking about?"

"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. It's Danny. Danny Baer."

A/N: Sincere apologies for the long delay in posting. I was in France the first two weeks of June, and have had some trouble getting back in the swing of things since. Regrets!