Disclaimer: I do not own Zootopia or any related characters, that would be Disney. Rated M for violence, language, drug references and sex
The Unfluffables
Chapter One: Sealing the Deal
Tundra Town
"Will you just forget about the rug already," said Nick, "that was three fucking years ago and I've been apologizing ever since!" "You deeply insulted me," said Mr. Big, "it is not easy to forgive being conned out of five hundred dollars for a skunk's butt. The only reason I don't have you killed is because of your partner." "I can't afford a four hundred dollar ring," said Nick, "I still gotta pay my bills!" "Why would you need a ring anyways," asked Mr. Big, "why would you come to me for it?" "Because first of all," said Nick, "being a former conmammal like myself, getting ripped off would be embarrassing. Second of all," said Nick, "I was hoping you could score me a decent deal so I can get it to Judy without going broke for a freakin' metal hoop with a rock glued to it!"
"Wait," said Mr. Big, "that's why you're here?" "Yes, damnit," said Nick. "A fox and a rabbit," said one of the polar bears that accompanied Mr. Big, "what has this world come to?" "Why don't you try getting a ridiculous crush on your partner after you bust a major conspiracy, as a civilian, risk your life to get her out of a duffle bag, and get stabbed by her psycho older brother that hates you," ranted Nick, "then we'll talk about relationships."
"Alright Nick," said Mr. Big, "I'll sell you the right one, but I'll do it for Judy, not you." "Good enough," said Nick, "I've learned in my twenty six years of being alive that dodging bullets is a lot simpler than haggling." They shook paws and Nick left the jewelry store with the right ring. Alright carrots, thought Nick to himself, don't break my heart tonight.
Zootopia Correctional Facility
Dylan Krueger finally had a visitor. As the hippo and lion guards escorted him to the visitor area, he couldn't help but ponder who it might be, all of his friends being dead or serving life with him for the 66th drug ring caper, which lead to the death of Detective George McBoot. "You don't have to fuckin carry me there," the cougar snapped to the guards, "I can walk myself." The guards let him down, Kruger catching himself relatively easy. Then a guard poked him with a nightstick, "Keep moving, Krueger."
Krueger sat down in the visitors booth, to be greeted by a black jaguar wearing a nice grey suit, a red silk tie and smoking a big cigar. "Who the fuck are you," asked Krueger. "The mammal that wants something out of you," said the jaguar. "I can't do shit while serving life," said Krueger. The jaguar picked up a small cardboard box, "Hope you like red velvet," he slid the cake under the tray, "I'm doing you a favor." "What's in the cake," asked Krueger. "I know that all prisoners are declawed for the duration of their sentence," said the jaguar, gesturing to the cake, "eat it in your cell." "How did you get it past security," asked Krueger. "It's carbon fiber," said the jaguar, "the metal detectors couldn't find a damn thing."
"I like where this is going," said Krueger, "with my old boss rotting in a canal somewhere in the Rain Forest District, along with the dynamic duo and Mack Jr. being hailed as heroes. But who the fuck are you and what do you want?" The jaguar grinned then he took out the cigar and winked, "This cigar," he said, "is one of Fidel Catstro's favorites. I can get you these plus a whole lot more if you meet me in Happytown tomorrow." "You run with the Immortals," asked Krueger. The jaguar laughed in a cold, menacing way. "No," he said, "my name is Raul Salazar, and I'm the Immortal."
Savannah Central
Nick sat across from his girlfriend and partner in crime fighting, Judy. He eyed her, in the simple, yet sexy, black dress she wore for the occasion. As Nick played with his tie, trying to think of how to start the conversation, he got an idea. "So, carrots," he said nervously, "I was going to do this at Les Arcticiuous," he paused as his throat seemed to swell up, "but you did a good job picking this place." "I thought you'd like it," said Judy enthusiastically, "besides, I don't think you'd want to go somewhere that was shot up by terrorists and the owner hates you." I've heard more than enough from Mr. Big today, thought Nick as he awkwardly scratched behind his ears. Nick looked around the restaurant, a very ornate, fancy type of joint, not a bug burger and beer kind of joint that was essentially his natural habitat. He just hoped he wouldn't be intimidated by its splendor to ask Judy the damn question.
"So I'm sorry I had to bail on you for today," said Nick, "I don't like leaving you alone on the beat, but I had a really important errand to run." "It's fine," said Judy, "Danny said he wouldn't mind riding with me on his last day as a beat cop." "So he did make SWAT," said Nick, "Mack would be proud!" "Sure did," said Judy, "his little marksmanship skills that his dad taught him blew Captain Deleon away," she paused, "not literally of course, but he was impressed." Nick laughed as Judy soaked up all the appreciation. I sure do love that fox, she thought to herself, wonder what he did when he took the day off, she began to ponder. Damnit Nick, thought Nick, show her the fucking ring before you blow it! He's thinking so hard, it looks like it hurts, thought Judy as she eyed Nick. Shit! She thinks I'm crazy, thought Nick. "I'm just going to run to the restroom real quick," said Nick, "I need to go wash my face." "Hurry back, Slick," said Judy, "I've got a surprise for you." What, thought Nick as he walked to the males restroom.
He stood in front of the vanity, seeing how he was sweating through his nicest suit. "Damnit," he said to himself, "I just have to say four words," he hit his muzzle on the sink, "four fucking words! I know I love her, I almost died for her God knows how many times, but damnit We already share an apartment for fuck's sake! I've never been so sure of anything in my life, so I just have to say it!" Nick began breathing heavily, anxious like never before, until he decided to take a deep breath and go back to talk to Judy.
"Alright carrots," said Nick, now trying slightly too hard to sound positive, "I'm back. What's that you told me about?" "Nevermind," said Judy, as she blushed, thinking she knew exactly what Nick was about to do. "Alright fluff," he reached into his pocket, "let's do this before I freak out and we blow it off for another month," he revealed the ring, "carrots," he said, "when I first met you, I thought you were just some idiotic, misguided idealist." "I guess I was in a way," said Judy, trying her hardest to contain herself. "Okay," said Nick, "so the first two days of our 'partnership', I hated your guts. But sometime afterwards, I don't know if what after I stood up for you to your boss, or when we played the old switcheroo on Bellwether, but you've seemed to be the best thing to ever happened to me, even after I was tortured and stabbed by your psycho older brother." "Nick," said Judy with her eyes widened, "stop beating around the bush and say it." "Alright carrots, you got me," said Nick, "Judith Laverne Hopps," he slipped on the ring, "will you marry me?"
"Some man you turned out to be, Nicholas," said an old fox vixen standing right behind Nick. He hadn't heard that voice in ten years, but he recognized it instantly. "Well go on son," said the vixen, "let the bunny talk." "Yes," said Judy enthusiastically, "yes I will!" She jumped up and kissed Nick, who was now frozen in confusion.
"Mom," said Nick as he turned around and saw an older fox vixen wearing a flower dress, "you're still alive?" "Some question to ask your mother," said Mrs. Wilde. "Carrots," asked Nick, confusedly, "how did you get a hold of my mother? I told you I haven't seen her in ten years." "Oh Nick," said Mrs. Wilde, "I remember what I said to you that night." "That if I was gonna stay on the path of becoming a criminal, that I would be better off dead to you," interrupted Nick. "Yeah, that," said Mrs. Wilde, "I know you think I don't want to see you, but that couldn't be farther from the truth." "How did Judy find you," asked Nick. "Same way I met you," answered Judy, "parking duty." "You gave my mother a parking ticket," asked Nick. "No," said Mrs. Wilde, "I ran into her on the street." "When," asked Nick, "I thought Bogo stopped doing that to you?" "It was when you were recovering from a stab wound," said Judy.
"Alright," said Nick, trying to get a grip on the situation, "my mother, who I spent ten years thinking if she hadn't died in streets was busy hating my guts bumps into my girlfriend somehow and sneaks up on me as I'm trying to propose to her. I don't get it." "For starters Nick," said Mrs. Wilde, "I own this place. It's quite a step up from housekeeping and washing dishes, don't you think." "Okay, I get that," said Nick, "but why talk to me now, after you kicked me out of the house at sixteen?" "I saw you on the front page of the news when you became a cop," said Mrs. Wilde, "and I must say, I didn't believe it until I caught a glimpse of you standing in front of the female's restroom at Paw Mart one day." "Why do we have to keep going back to Paw Mart," groaned Nick. "What happened at Paw Mart," asked Mrs. Wilde to Judy. "It's a touchy subject," said Judy, trying not to laugh. "I'm proud of what you've become since then, Nicholas," said Mrs. Wilde as she hugged her son from the side, "while she is still a bunny, that girl loves you more than anything else. Don't throw her aside like you did me." "I won't mom," said Nick, "after all that we've been through together, I can't stay away from her."
Zootopia Correctional Facility
"Hey man," Dylan Krueger lied muzzle-down on his bed, clutching his chest, "I'm fuckin dying!" "Shut up Krueger," barked a buffalo guard. "No man," said Krueger, "my heart!" "Alright," groaned the guard, "I'll come in there and check on you. Don't fuck with me!" Krueger, turned away from the guard, grinned as he clutched his knife, ready to go on his newest mission.
Author's Note: So yeah, Nick and Judy are engaged now, and we're going to dive into the dark side of Nick's past, much like we did for Judy in Bad Kits. You can expect to learn more about the Immortals, who were briefly mentioned then, find out who Salazar is, and expect Dylan Krueger to raise some hell in Zootopia. Hope you all have fun reading it.