Disclaimer: I do not own Zootopia or any related characters, that would be Disney. Rated M for violence, language, drug references and sex
The Unfluffables
Chapter Seven: Follow the Trail
Savannah Central
Duke Weaselton enjoyed cruising in his new Purcedes-Benz, with a slick body style, powerful engine, luxurious interior and best of all, a beefy sound system. As the one armed weasel was minding his own business listening to rap music, he saw a familiar sight, cop lights flashing from behind. "You have to be shitting me," he said as he kept his prosthetic arm on the wheel while he zipped up the backpack full of heroin with his real arm. After he pulled over, he realized his day just went from bad to worse, as it was none other than Officer Cottontail and his old friend turned her boy toy Nick. Duke groaned as he rolled down the window.
"What seems to be the trouble, officers," asked Weaselton, trying his hardest to sound polite, "I don't believe I've committed any traffic violations." "As much as I would like to ask what's in the backpack," replied Judy as she saw what was on the passenger seat, "I'm not here to arrest you." "You here to protect me, carrots," snapped Weaselton, "because you did a damn fine job at it last time. I just got my fuckin arm back and no longer in debt from my goddamn hospital bills, bitch! Leave me the fuck alone!" "No way to speak to a lady, Duke," said Nick as he walked up to the window. "Your girlfriend's still a bitch," muttered Weaselton. "She's more than just my girlfriend now," said Nick, who sounded rather unbothered, "considering she's about to be my wife, I'd be nice to her if I were you." "Like nepotism will get you out of an assault charge," said Weaselton.
"No need for that attitude," said Nick, "I came to you because I need some dirt on an old friend." Weaselton shrugged and tried to ignore them. "Just tell Nick what he wants to know before I take over," threatened Judy. "Alright, I'll talk," pleaded Weaselton, "today'd be a great day if I don't get the shit kicked out of me by a bunny!"
"Raul Salazar," said Nick, "ya know him?" "Yeah," said Weaselton, "we both know that jaguar motherfucker. We used to run with him as kits." "I never joined the gang," said Nick, "and you didn't either for the same damn reason." "Okay, okay," said Weaselton, "Salazar's boys are hardcore," said Weaselton, "don't expect them to tell you shit." "I know that," said Nick, "anything that I can use?" "The Immortals run a brothel on 39th," said Weaselton, "the gangbangers won't talk but the broads might. Besides, there's dope all over that place," he continued, "you can at least bust a good amount of them."
"Thanks buddy," said Nick, "now tell the cute little bunny you're sorry." Weaselton looked at Judy, who had a less than happy expression on her muzzle, but at the same time generally disinterested. "Officer Hopps," groaned Weaselton, "I'm sorry I called you a bitch." "Apology accepted," muttered Judy, "now beat it before I decide to take a closer look inside your car."
A few hours later, Nick and Judy sat in their parked cruiser across from the address Weaselton gave them. It seemed like an ordinary store, with regular mammals coming in and out with shopping bags. "Uh Nick," asked Judy, "why did Weaselton send us to a hardware store?" "You have no idea what these types of places are like, do ya carrots," replied Nick, "most of that shit takes place in a hidden area, like a storeroom or basement. Not in the view of the general public." "Your knowledge of stuff like this makes me uncomfortable sometimes," said Judy. "Don't worry about it fluff," said Nick, "I may be devilishly handsome sly fox bastard, but the gangbanger life was never for me. Now let's see where the hoes are."
They got out of the car and walked into the store, to be greeted by a watchful panther in an unbuttoned plaid shirt. "I've heard this place carries some top quality merchandise," said Nick to the panther, "where can I get some?" "Fuck you," said the panther, "I know damn well that foxes are never interested in this shit. Plus you're wearing a fake uniform, so beat it before I call the real cops, and take the bunny with you!" Nick pulled out his pistol. "Listen, asshole," said Nick as he pointed the pistol at the panther, "this is a real badge," he pointed to the badge, "I am a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun. So let me through 'cause I got a warrant." "Alright asshole," groaned the panther as he let him in the back storage.
Inside the massive storage room was about a dozen females, all predator species, wearing revealing outfits sitting on cheaply made beds. "Alright ladies," said Nick, working up the fox charm, "which one of you wants to help me find Salazar?" The panther pointed a pistol at Nick and Judy, "You ain't gettin shit on the boss!" "If you become a cop killer," warned Judy, "your life is over." "Salazar will vouch for me and my pals," said the panther as a wolf carrying a shotgun as well as a cheetah and bobcat walked up from behind the corner. "You assholes are so screwed," said Nick. "Are you crazy," asked Judy, "you'll get us both killed!" "We've been through worse together," said Nick, "we didn't even have to climb through an air duct this time."
Kick!
Danny and the rest of the SWAT team barged in through the back door with submachine guns trained on all four suspects. "Freeze motherfuckers," said Danny as his colleagues disarmed and cuffed everyone in the room. "Why didn't you mention we had backup," asked Judy angrily. "Relax honey," said Nick, "I just wanted to give you a little adrenaline rush." "You sly fox." "You dumb bunny."
The police escorted everyone out of the back storeroom and into two police wagons, hookers in one, gangbangers in the other. They hoped that if they kept them separate, the thugs wouldn't be able to intimidate the girls from talking. "This ain't over Wilde," shouted the panther angrily as he was being hauled into the van, "you, your girlfriend, your mother, your friends! They all gonna die for your dumbfuckery!" "Watch your mouth around the ladies," said Nick, "now be a good boy for the nice policemammals." "Asshole," shouted the panther as they closed the door.
"So Nick," said Judy, "what do you think is gonna happen now?" "With any luck carrots," said Nick, "if those hooker's brains aren't all completely fucked, we'll be able to nail Salazar for sex trafficking under the RICO Act." "What if that doesn't happen," asked Judy, who was somewhat concerned about the panther's words. "We're fucked."