Epilogue: The Daily Prophet & The Quibbler
The Daily Prophet
Boy Who Lived To Study Abroad At Ilvermorny
Barnabas Cuffe, Jr., Senior Correspondent
Harry James Potter, aka: Twice Vanquisher of Voldemort (Editor Note: The Daily Prophet will no longer be referring to Voldemort, aka: Tom Marvolo Riddle, as 'Lord' or as 'He Who Must Not Be Named'), will be going abroad for his final year of schooling. Famed North American school, The Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, (one of the premier centers of magical education in the world and home to an excellent Dragon Care and Education Programme – see sidebar on New advances in Dragon Husbandry) has accepted Mr Potter into it's 1999 graduating class. Bookmakers are having a field day on what House Potter will be sorted into. The four Houses of Ilvermorny are Horned Serpent, Wampus, Thunderbird and Pukwudgie. Horned Serpent and Thunderbird are the odds on favorites at press time. (The Daily Prophet does not endorse or condone non-Ministry sanctioned gambling.)
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Ex-Death Eater Accepted Into Healer Training Programme at Crone Martha's
Barnabas Cuffe, III, Junior Reporter
Draco Malfoy, exonerated Death Eater, has been accepted as an apprentice in the prestigious Healer Training Programme at the famed North American hospital, Crone Martha Ballard's Hospital for Midwifery and Maladies, both Magical and Muggle. Crone Martha's is sister hospital to St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries and is located in the infamous town of Salem, Massachusetts, where 20 innocent Muggles were killed after being wrongly accused of practicing witchcraft in the late 1600's. "Mr Malfoy is above suspicion, and we are thrilled to have him join our family of Healers," said Dorothea Derwent, Head of recruitment for Crone Martha's.
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Granger Gains Secret Seat
Barbara Cuffe, Special Investigator
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry alumnus, Hermione Granger O.M. (Second Class), is slated to be the youngest witch in a century given a trainee apprenticeship in the clandestine Unspeakables unit in the Department of Mysteries. Griselda Marchbanks, one of the Wizengamot's oldest members, who now holds the title of Chief Hag of the Wizengamot, had herself recommended Granger for the position, citing Granger's exceptional skills in unraveling the whereabouts and means of destruction of Voldemort's multiple Horcruxes. Granger graduated from Hogwarts in April, and is slated to begin at the M.o.M.'s Whitehall offices in July. Rumour has it that both the Auror corps and the Improper Use of Magic Office were vying to give Granger positions in their departments.
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SPORTING NEWS
Ludovic Bagman, Sports Correspondent
Ronald Bilius Weasley has joined the Ministry of Magic (M.o.M.). He is the third Weasley to enter service in the M.o.M., following in the footsteps of his father, Arthur (Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office), and his somewhat notorious older brother, Percival (see Sidebar on Percy Weasley's corruption expose'). Weasley, the younger, will be working in the Department of Magical Games and Sports. "That boy can rattle off every Quidditch score and every ball and beater bat's weights & measures regulation for the past century," said department head, Hamish MacFarlan.
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In other Weasley-related news, Ginevra Molly Weasley has been signed by the Holyhead Harpies as their newest reserve chaser for the upcoming season, after Valmai Morgan (the only Harpy hired without a 'G' name in the history of the team) sustained a series of bludger hits to the head. Some of Morgan's more superstitious teammates have claimed she is a cursed player, because neither her first nor last name begins with a 'G'. "Weasley'll be alrigh'," said team coach, Gwendolyn Morgan (no relation), adding,"Wi'a name like 'Ginevra' she'll no' be hi' wi'a ruddy bludger – ye ken mark m'words onnit."
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SIDEBAR:
Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent
Percival Ignatius Weasley, former assistant to Minister for Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour, has presented evidence to the Wizengamot, in exchange for leniency, of deep-seated corruption in the Scrimgeour administration. Sources close to the Minister have disclosed to this reporter that Scrimgeour's methods for seizing control of Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, included attempted bribery, coercion and blackmail. Watch tomorrow's front page for the full expose'.
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SOCIETY OWLS
Grizel Hurtz, Society and Advice Columnist
Madame Poppy Pomfrey, Matron at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to be awarded Order of Merlin Third Class for her care of The Boy Who Lived, as he recovered from what was thought to be Irreversible Spell Damage. Pomfrey was awarded guardianship of Harry Potter (who himself was awarded OM [First Class] in absentia, due to his condition, following his ultimate defeat of Voldemort), after not one, but two contentious court battles with former Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour. The award ceremony is to take place at noon on Tuesday next, at The Ministry of Magic in Hall B, beyond the Atrium.
Madame Pomona Sprout is in the running for First Place in the Annual Witches and Wizards Phantasmagoric Flower Show again this year. Last year's entry, a Variegated Bobotuber plant with the scent of maple, wowed the judges so much, that in an unprecedented move, they awarded Sprout First, Second and Third place ribbons for her entry. This year's listing is equally promising. Sprout has only released a title, 'Diminutive Damask Dirigible Plum,' with no accompanying text or photographic preview, yet odds are on her for First place again this year. (The Daily Prophet does not endorse or condone non-Ministry sanctioned gambling.)
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THE QUIBBLER
Death Eaters Among Us
Xenophilius Lovegood, Editor-in-Chief
Several Death Eaters are suspected to be using false identities through Polyjuice, Glamours, Metamorphmagusism and other unspecified methods. One wonders which of the most notorious criminals are living among us now? Could they be our Shopkeepers, Ministry officials, Teachers, Healers?
Spectrespecs have proven unhelpful in seeking out these nefarious criminals. Yet, one must wonder if they have left their evil ways behind. Is it possible that with the demise of Tom Riddle, these former followers are trying to redeem themselves as they eke out a new existence in a Voldemort-free world?
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A/N: Well, this is the final installment of my story, and I thank you so much for reading. It's hard to believe that I started writing it in 2007 – and I took several years off in between. Twice. Luckily, I got back into writing this before JKR upped her transphobic tweeting, or I may not have been able to finish. I very much appreciate you taking time to read my work, and I really enjoyed the process of writing it.
These days, I am really struggling with how to balance my love of Harry Potter, with my disagreements with its creator. Harry Potter has been my life. My clothes, home decor, books, fanfic, music and the art I do are much about Harry Potter. I make Harry Potter miniatures (Quidditch shoppes, Umbridge's office, Grimmauld Place, Honeydukes candies), costumes, jewelry, rubber duckys. etc. It happened that I had to put all my stuff in storage before the tweets. When I move, I don't know if I will feel like putting my Harry potter decor up in my new place. A small problem to have in comparison to what the world is going through in 2020, yet I feel like I'm having an identity crisis of sorts. I wonder if any of you are having the same problem?
If anyone is interested in seeing my art, I have posted some of it on Deviant Art ( dot deviantart dot com/potterphile3/gallery) [I have to write the word "dot" instead of using a dot, or FFN won't let me paste it]. I tried to post it here on AO3, but couldn't figure out how, despite following the AO3 directions. :(
Anyways, that's all folks! Thanks again for reading, and as always, comments are welcome.
Peace,
tsuj