Chapter 31

The sun shone brightly, and a warm, gentle breeze blew. It was almost mocking Callie as she stood before the newly planted tree, the Adams Fosters and Robert surrounding it. It was a beautiful day outside, but inside Callie felt broken as they memorialized her dead child. Jude was reading a poem, but Callie couldn't make out his words as her tear-blurred eyes remained glued to the tree, to the plaque before the tree engraved with her daughter's name. She felt Brandon's eyes on her, but she couldn't meet them. It would undoubtedly end in a meltdown when she saw the shared pain and his concern in them, and she was trying to keep it together in front of everyone.

"Cal?"

Callie whipped her head towards Stef at the sound of her name. By the look on everyone's faces, she knew she had missed something that was said. "Hm?"

"Do you want to say anything?" Stef asked softly.

The lump in the back of Callie's throat grew as she shook her head. "She…she knows."

Stef smiled sadly at the brunette. She threw her arm around Mariana's shoulder, who had silent tears trickling down her cheeks. "Why don't we give Callie and Brandon some time alone."

The family somberly went back inside. Callie's knees buckled the second she heard the back door click closed. She collapsed to the grass, a heart-wrenching sob ripping through her throat. Brandon's arms wrapped around her and she felt his lips press against the top of her head. Planting a tree had seemed like a great way to memorialize Melody at the time when her options were presented to her. It was in a way like she was still breathing, still growing, still living. But as Callie wept before the tree she wondered how she would ever look at the tree and not cry. She had this constant reminder right in her backyard now.

Brandon felt his own tears leak from his eyes as he held his sobbing girlfriend for the umpteenth time in the week since Melody's death. Her body trembled against his as she sobbed uncontrollably. The sounds of her crying felt like a knife twisting in Brandon's heart. It was something that he had heard so many times, too many times especially this past week, and he knew he would surely hear it so many more times to come.

"I'm sorry." She choked out into his shoulder.

Brandon's heart broke and he wondered just how many times someone's heart could break in a single week because surely, he had surpassed that. He gently lifted her chin to gaze into her defeated eyes. "You have absolutely nothing to apologize for."

She inhaled shakily in attempt to calm herself. "I'm always crying."

"Callie, you just lost a baby. You're expected to cry. You cry as much as you need, and I'll hold you every time, okay? I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you." The pad of his thumb gently brushed away the tears rolling down her cheeks. His lips left a ginger kiss on her forehead. He would do anything to take away her pain and the fact that he couldn't hurt.

She suddenly felt guilty. Guilty for bringing so much pain into his life. He was happy and carefree before she met him. Now he had so much to deal with and she felt like she was dragging him down with her. "You didn't ask for this. For any of this."

Brandon read the meaning behind her words. "Don't do that, Callie. I love you more than anything and I would do anything for you. You didn't ask for any of this either. I didn't know what true happiness was, what love was before you. If I could go back, I would never even consider changing my feelings for you. Love doesn't only survive in good times. I'm here for you every minute, good or bad."

Callie nodded as more tears trickled down her face. She leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too. So, so much. And I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I wish more than anything that I could do something to help you." Brandon said softly. "You take as long as you need to heal, okay? And I'll be with you every step of the way."

Callie nodded again, resting her forehead against his as his hand continued to cup her cheek. "You are helping. More than you know."

"C' mon. Let's get you inside. Sitting in the grass can't be comfortable." Brandon helped her up, noting the slight wince cross her face as she moved. Even though she downplayed it, he knew she was hurting physically. How could she not? She was still recovering from major surgery and her milk drying up only added to that.

"How's she doing?" Stef asked as her son entered the living room, where his mother sat on the couch nursing a mug.

Brandon shrugged as he took a seat next to the blonde. "She's sleeping, which is good. I just don't know how long that'll last before a nightmare wakes her up."

"I can't even imagine what she's going through." Stef shook her head in disbelief, leaning forward to place her mug on the coffee table. "How are you doing?"

Tears sprang to his eyes. "Not good."

"I'm sorry, B. I know this is hard on you too." Stef rested her hand on his back and rubbed it gently.

"Losing Melody was bad enough and now I have to watch Callie suffer." The tears escaped his eyes and tumbled down his cheeks. "I miss Melody so much. I didn't even know her, and I miss her."

"Oh B." Stef sighed sadly. "You did know her. You felt her kick. You picked out her name. You made so many plans revolving around her."

"And I think about how much I'm hurting about Melody and it must be so much worse for Callie. I'm so worried about her. These awful, awful things keep happening to her and she barely has the chance to process them before the next bad thing happens. Having a baby was kind of a distraction too and now that's gone. And the trial is right around the corner and if that doesn't go her way…"

"It will." Stef gently cut off her son's rant. "They're going to go away for something. All the evidence is there. And Vico only increased that by breaking his bail terms."

"If they don't, I'm going to kill them. You won't be able to stop me." Brandon fumed. He knew how much Callie hated violence, and he had learned after punching Wyatt at her birthday to refrain from expressing his anger with his fist. He'd promised her he wouldn't fight people anymore. But this was different. Vico and Liam were heartless monsters. They hurt the girl he loved in more ways than he could count, and they needed to be punished. They deserved to burn in hell. He imagined punching them, kicking them, strangling them until they were begging for mercy, begging for him to stop and he would ignore them. Just like they ignored Callie's desperate pleas.

Stef exhaled. Normally she would lecture her children on how violence wasn't the answer, but she couldn't. Not in this situation. Not when those two monsters hurt the girl she viewed as a daughter so badly. "You know I don't condone violence, but honestly, B, I'd help you hide the bodies."

"She doesn't deserve this, Mom. She doesn't deserve any of this. And she just keeps grasping at these straws to blame herself for everything." More tears left Brandon's puffy eyes. "I found her in the nursery crying last night. She told me she feels like she's being punished for wishing the pregnancy tests were negative when she took them."

Stef's felt her chest twinge at her son's words. She had no doubt that Callie actually convinced herself to believe that. But the fact that she did was painful. Anyone who was sixteen and had been raped would wish the tests were negative. "I think it's her way of trying to make sense of everything. Of trying to gain control."

Brandon's lower lip trembled before a sob escaped his throat. He'd been trying so hard to hold it together for Callie. There had been a few times he cried while holding her, but it was quiet tears. This was messy, full on crying to the point where his chest heaved, and his breath became ragged. It had been building up. Not just from this week, although many of the tears were due to then. But it had been building up since the winter ball. From watching Callie endure obstacle after obstacle, heartache after heartache. "I just want her to be okay. I want her to be happy and I want all these bad things to stop happening to her."

"Oh, my baby." Stef cried, pulling her son into his arms. Her own heart ached for him, for Callie. She understood the pain he felt. She felt it too watching the girl she considered a daughter suffer from countless painful events. They all felt helpless because there was nothing they could do to make things better, to take away the pain. "I know. I know how hard it is for you to watch her like this. She'll get there. It's going to take a while and it's going to be hard, but she'll find happiness."

Regret and guilt swam in Stef's stomach. Regret and guilt for forbidding Brandon and Callie's relationship the first time, for becoming angry when they confided they had been dating, for almost forcing them apart again, for ever doubting their love for one another. Their feelings for one another had never gone away, she knew that, but she and Lena had chosen to ignore the signs. And watching them since they announced their relationship continued to prove to Stef how much the two were meant to be together. They had experienced obstacles that would have broken up marriages, and yet it only seemed to pull the two closer together, to strengthen their love. And Stef hated that she ever tried to stop it.

"You know, Callie's had to deal with so much from the second she stepped into our home. And most of the time I know she's putting on a brave face for everyone, but the times that I have seen her truly happy, that she's truly smiling, it's because of you." Stef said when Brandon's crying finally began to subside. He pulled out of his mother's arms to look at her. "You make her happy, B. You get her to open up. You make her feel safe and loved. I know it may not feel like it, but you're helping her."

"She said that too, but I wish I could do more."

"I know. I do too." Stef frowned, leaning towards Brandon to press a comforting kiss to the side of his head.

"Cal, wake up." Brandon shook the brunette gently as she whimpered. Her eyes shot open as she flung herself straight up, clutching her chest. Her breath was ragged as her eyes darted around the room. Brandon's hand found hers and she met his eyes. "Hey, you're okay. It was just a nightmare."

Callie inhaled shakily.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Brandon asked softly. He watched her face scrunch together slightly in distress.

"I uh…Vico…he forced me…and then…h-he cut my stomach open and killed Melody." Tears sparkled in her hollow eyes.

"I'm sorry, Callie." Brandon sighed sadly. He wanted to tell her it wasn't real, that it was a dream. But even though that exact event didn't happen, she was raped, and Melody did die from Vico's actions. Brandon scooted onto the bed beside Callie and held his arms open. She snuggled against him, resting her head on his chest as his arm wrapped around her. "I can't imagine how awful these nightmares must feel."

"I just…I want to forget and yet I'm reminded of everything everywhere." Her tears splashed onto his chest, soaking into his shirt.

"That's how trauma works, unfortunately. But it won't always be like that. It'll get better."

Callie shook her head. "The winter ball was almost a year ago, Brandon."

"It was nine months, and nobody said a year was enough time. And that's not the only trauma I'm talking about. You haven't had the chance to heal from any of the trauma that you've been through." Brandon's hand found her hair, his fingers dancing gently in her soft curls. "There's no expiration date on trauma. It's going to take as long as it's going to take."

"I hate it when you're right." Callie groaned.

A small chuckle left Brandon's lips and he felt his heart flutter at her slight attempt at humor. He reached down to steal a kiss. "We need to plan a trip."

"That sounds nice, but I don't really know when or where. The trial is a month away, I'm still on probation, we don't have money, and I'm limited in abilities right now. I don't really know if Stef and Lena would let us go away either."

"Way to shoot down my idea." Brandon teased, earning the slightest of smiles from Callie. It was a smile he hadn't seen in a week and it was welcoming, even if it was only a hint of one. "I have money saved actually. We'll plan something for after the trial. You'll hopefully be fully recovered by then. We'll go for a weekend or something. I'm pretty sure I can convince Moms. I think they would say yes to anything you asked right now."

Callie reached up to connect their lips. It was amazing how much Brandon knew what she needed. "Thank you. I need something to look forward to."

Brandon smiled. "I'm on it."

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