First of all, thanks for all the reviews, I'm glad you like the story. This really motivates me to update as fast as I can.

I'm afraid some of you might not like where I'm going with this chapter, but please just trust me, this is definitely a Rogan story and will get less depressing. But they need to get through this. So, I hope you don't hate me for this and, even if you do, please leave me a review. Enjoy the new chapter!

Giving In Or Giving Up

Later Rory didn't remember going back into the hotel and getting up to her room. She never even thought about going back into the banquet hall. She couldn't get in there and pretend nothing had happened. So she just sat there, in her hotel room, staring out into the rain, wondering if the pain was ever going to stop.

More than anything she wished she could go home to her mom or at least to her own apartment. But there was a conference the next morning so she had to stay at the hotel.

After getting up to her room she had taken off her dress, after all it had been completely soaked through. Now she sat there in jeans and a black blouse and didn't allow herself to cry. She had no idea how long she sat there, but suddenly she couldn't take it anymore. Sleeping was no option, she already knew she wouldn't get any sleep tonight, so she put on her shoes and coat, grabbed her purse and left the room without any particular destination.

When she got down to the hall she remembered Roger talking about a bar across the street, so she left the hotel and soon found it. She walked directly to the bar and took a seat right in front of the bartender.

"Hey beautiful, what can I get you?" the young man asked immediately. Rory ignored his compliment and was about to order a scotch, but then she stopped herself. Anything that reminded her of him tonight would be her end.

"She'll have a Tequila." she heard a familiar voice from behind. "Actually you can make that two." Rory turned around and looked right into Roger's eyes. In any other situation she would have complained about him ordering for her and tried to stop him from taking the seat next to her. But tonight she didn't have the strength to do so, so she just looked at him without saying a word.

"So, Gilmore, glad you decided to come down. What happened to you earlier? I have to tell you, you missed some really great speeches." Roger directed at her while the bartender placed two shot glasses and a bowl of lemon slices in front of them.

"Let's not talk about it." Rory just said. Hearing Roger mocking the speeches reminded her of Logan and his fiancée too much. "So, I guess we should do these shots."

Each of them took a slice of lemon, put a little salt on their hands before taking the shot glasses. "Here's to you, Gilmore!" Roger said. Rory just nodded, licked the salt, slammed down the strong liquor and eagerly bit her lemon to ease the burning sensation it left. But somehow the burning in her throat felt good and without thinking about it she told the barman: "I'd like to get another one of these, please!"

Roger looked at her surprised. He had seen her drinking before, sometimes it almost seemed like she couldn't get through a social event without consuming a certain amount of scotch, but tonight it seemed like she was here for only one purpose: to get drunk. But he didn't stop her, instead he ordered himself another shot. Sometimes people just had to get drunk and get the opportunity to forget their problems for a little while. And who knew, maybe her getting drunk would help him finally getting a little closer to her.

"So, Roger, I'd say this one's to forgetting!" Rory toasted and before her counterpart could say a word she had gulped down her second shot. She closed her eyes while the liquor burned down her throat and could feel the pain fade away a little.

***

Several shots and about an hour later Rory wasn't as drunk as she would have liked to be, but then again drunk enough to feel better. The picture of Logan's face wasn't as clear as it had been before she came to the bar. She concentrated on Roger and managed to stop thinking about Logan every once in a while.

"So, Gilmore, it's pretty late already…" Roger said in a voice that made more than obvious what he was thinking. He tried to take Rory's hand that was lying on her knee, but she pulled it away. Holding hands was just too intimate. But the man didn't seem to mind, he just let his hand rest on her thigh and Rory didn't do anything about it.

"You're right. We can go if you're tired." Rory told him, even if she knew sleeping wasn't what he had in mind. She looked down on his hand when he started to caress her.

"No, I'm not tired. But I wouldn't mind heading back to the hotel." he said and let his hand travel a little further up her thigh, half expecting she would stop him. But she didn't.

Rory knew that sleeping with Roger wasn't the solution, that sex didn't make things easier but worse. But she couldn't help it. She needed to feel something else than the stabbing pain inside of her heart. "Okay." she told Roger and reached for her purse to pay her drinks.

"It's okay, Gilmore, I got you." Roger stopped her and gave a few bills to the bartender. Then he got up from the barstool and helped Rory putting on her coat before following her out of the bar.

They walked next to each other towards the hotel, not touching each other, without saying a word. Up in Roger's room Rory got rid of her coat and stared at his bed, not knowing what to do.

Finally Roger walked around her until he stood in front of her and bent down to kiss her, just as Logan had done earlier. But Rory didn't want that, so she turned her head away. Kissing was too intimate, too personal, and she didn't want this to get personal. But Roger didn't mind, he started kissing her neck instead. Rory wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him, feeling his already hard cock pressing against her stomach.

While he continued attacking her neck she started unbuttoning his shirt, pushed it off his shoulders, then continued with opening his belt. Roger felt her impatience, so he stopped kissing her and started undressing her, too.

"I'm so glad you finally gave in, Ror." he whispered after taking off her bra, looking at her perfect breasts. Rory didn't answer, instead she pushed him down on the bed, put off his pants and boxers before getting rid of her jeans and panties.

To her, it wasn't giving in to Roger. It felt more like giving up. Giving up herself and the hope to ever find a love as deep as the one she had shared with Logan once. If she couldn't have that, she could as well give herself to a man who wanted her, even if she didn't want him or if he just wanted her body.

Roger pulled her down to him on the bed and flipped them over so he was on top. "You're so beautiful." he whispered. Rory turned her face away without responding, taking his wallet from the nightstand and pulling out a condom. He looked at her a little confused when she handed it to him. He would have pictured her to be the woman who thought foreplay was more important than the sex itself, but apparently he was wrong. Fair enough for him, he had dreamed about fucking her for so long, the sooner he got to do it the better.

He put on the condom and positioned himself at her entrance. He looked at her questioningly and when she nodded he pushed himself inside of her in one hard thrust.

A small moan escaped Rory's lips. It had been so long since she had been entered by a man that the sudden thrust almost hurt her. But on the other hand it just felt so good to be wanted. Feeling wanted after Logan had turned her down earlier. She wrapped her legs around Roger's hips to draw him in even deeper, trying to concentrate on the feeling of his hard dick inside of her and forget the stabbing pain in her heart.

Roger had realized her painful whimper when he had entered her, so he didn't move inside of her, trying to see if she was okay. When she bucked up her hips he pulled out of her and entered her again slowly. He tried to be as gentle as he could be, which was hard concerning how much he wanted her. But he didn't want to do anything to hurt her or something she didn't want.

For a moment, Rory closed her eyes and concentrated on his gentle moves. It felt so good she almost started crying. But him being so gentle somehow felt wrong. This felt too much like 'making love', which wasn't what she wanted. She wanted sex, something purely physical that would make her forget her psychic pain.

"I need you…" she whispered between hard breathings. Roger looked at her questioningly and she bucked up her hips hard against him to show him. So he thrust into her faster, but still to soft for Rory. "Harder… please…harder" she begged him desperately in a moaning voice.

Roger didn't know if it was right, something about her behavior seemed so wrong, but he wanted her too much to think straight. So he pulled out of her completely just to ram his length back into her. He continued doing it, moving inside of her fast and hard, and Rory met each of his thrusts by bringing her hips up to meet his.

Soon both of them were close to the edge. He pulled out of her one last time. "Come for me…" he moaned before thrusting inside of her even harder than before. Rory could feel herself tighten around his dick and closed her eyes. She didn't want to see him when she came. She tried to bite her lips, but she couldn't stop the moans that escaped her lips. Seeing her like that was enough to make him lose all his self-control. "Fuck, Ror…" he moaned just as he came inside of her.

It took both of them a while to regain composure again, they just laid next to each other trying to get their breathing back to a normal pace. Rory just stared up at the ceiling, unable to think or feel anything.

Roger looked at her and suddenly he knew that it hadn't been the alcohol that had brought her to him tonight, after she had refused to even go out on a date with him for such a long time. It was because of another man. All of a sudden he felt as bad as he had never felt before. He should have stopped her, he should have realized she was miserable and stop her from giving herself to him. But he hadn't been strong enough to stop thinking with his dick. He couldn't believe how he could have been such a jerk.

"Ror, are you okay?" he asked her gently. "I'm so sorry." he added when she turned to him he saw a tear falling down to the pillow. "It's okay…" she managed to get out. "It wasn't your fault. I knew you wouldn't say no, and I… I used you. It wasn't fair."

He felt even more miserable now. How could she even look at him after what he had done, let alone giving him comfort. "No. I should have realized you were miserable. But instead I just ignored the signs and took advantage of you. I'm so stupid, all I did was thinking with my dick, I should be better than this, I should know better…" he rambled on, but stopped immediately when he saw tears streaming down Rorys face.

She looked so vulnerable that he couldn't help, he draw her in for a hug and caressed her back while she sobbed against his breast. "Shh… I'ts gonna be okay." he whispered at her gently, even if he had no idea what was wrong. Something told him that an incident that made Rory Gilmore get drunk and throw herself at another man had to be pretty serious. But he just had to tell her it was going to be okay. That way, if he comforted her, he might be able to forgive himself one day for not stopping her from doing this to herself.

He held her close until he felt her breathing become more regular and when she had fallen asleep he tucked her in and hoped that whatever it was that hurt her so much wouldn't destroy her. He loved her too much to see her broken like this.