His Vixen
By: tweet-src-clt9
Part 1 – Sheldon's Secret Folder
Sheldon Cooper sighed as he heard the door slam.
His precious vixen, the love of his life, his Amy, walked out the door. Again.
Ever since his wife got pregnant, her mood swings had been crazy. While some wives, according to the books he's read at least, were very amorous with their husbands, Amy was the total opposite. His vixen just found him annoying to the point that she either cried or worse, walked out of their apartment.
Thank Einstein she just goes to Penny and Leonard's apartment, he smiled a little.
His mother, along with Penny and Leonard, told him that he must be extra understanding and sympathetic to Amy's needs now that she was pregnant with their progeny. Of course, he followed that sound advice as best as he could. He needed to make sure that his vixen and their benign overlords were safe and healthy after all.
Searching his pocket for his phone, he thought about what to ask Leonard or Penny or maybe both of them.
Deciding to err on the side of caution, he texted Leonard first.
Leonard, is Amy at your apartment?
He saw the three dots appear and he eagerly waited for the reply.
No, Sheldon. Penny is on the phone with Amy though. I, er, I think Amy is taking a taxi to Bernie and Howard's house.
Sheldon gulped. In the three times that Amy walked out on him during her pregnancy, this was the first time she had ever left their apartment at 2311 Los Robles.
"Oh, boy I really am in trouble!" he sighed.
With his eidetic memory, he could easily recall all the details that led to Amy's most recent pregnancy tantrum. His hands tightened into fists as he recalled the two major culprits that caused his Amy to walk out on him – and worse, his vixen had been crying…
"Hey Coopa, who's da wuvwy wady," Barry Kripke leered at his new assistant. As a Nobel Prize-winning Physicist, Dr. Sheldon Cooper didn't need an assistant but with his Amy now four months pregnant, he wanted to spend more time with her. So, he asked the university to provide him with a new minion. Out of all the applicants, he selected Jocelyn Cuevas. She was an aspiring theoretical physicist herself, having recently accomplished her master's degree. She was the most qualified among the pool and he didn't find her as annoying as the rest.
He was excited to leave his office so he could pick up his wife from her lab, but he just had to run into Kripke of all people. He fought the urge to roll his eyes. His vixen told him that he had to be more tolerant of other people, most especially those who worked with him.
"Ms. Cuevas, meet Dr. Barry Kripke. Kripke, meet Ms. Jocelyn Cuevas, my new assistant," he formally introduced. He may be in a hurry to see Amy, but his southern upbringing prevented him from just rudely leaving the two people in the hallway.
"Coopa, you dog! Wid Amy aww pwegnant, now you hired a side chick," Kripke smirked. Sheldon was confused, what's a chick got to do with Amy's pregnancy?
"If you'll excuse me, Kripke, Ms. Cuevas, I have to see Amy," he politely addressed the two.
"Not so fast, Coopa! Just wanna know if you want to tap dat wid Amy aww pwegnant now," Kripke leered.
"I'm not tapping anything," he frowned.
"Come on, Coopa! All dat and you gonna pass?" Kripke gestured to his assistant who seemed uncomfortable now.
"I don't understand, Kripke," he was losing patience now.
"Gorgeous Latina bombshell, Coopa! Since you no wonger a virgin, I figure you now wanna tap other wadies," Kripke winked.
"How dare – "
"Out of the way, out of the way!" suddenly, a voice from behind a large box interrupted his rant.
"Ahhh!" his assistant exclaimed. Sheldon Cooper, raised by his mother to be a gentleman, immediately grabbed on to his assistant so she wouldn't fall on the floor.
Because of the sudden movement, his body was intimately pressed against his assistant's that her lips accidentally touched the corner of his mouth. His eyes were wide as he let her go. "Are you alright?" he asked despite his urge to run to the bathroom and wash his hands, his face, and every single germ she carried with her.
"Coopa, you sly dog!" Kripke smirked.
"She – Sheldon?" he immediately turned to that voice.
Amy, his pregnant wife, was standing there with tears running down her cheeks. Her beautiful emerald eyes were full of sadness that it pained him to see her in such a state.
"Amy, how long have you – "
"Long enough to know that you and Kripke now agree that you can do better than an old pregnant nerd," she managed to say despite her tears.
"Amy, no! This is not what it looks like, darlin'," he tried to make her see reason as he stepped towards her, but she backed away.
"I'll see you later," with one last sniff, Amy walked away.
Sheldon turned to Kripke with a glare that could have melted him on the spot if his eyes had laser powers. "Kripke, if anything, and I mean anything happens to my wife, I swear – I will kill you," he was about to punch the annoying physicist on the face, but he stopped himself. He didn't want Amy to be even madder at him.
"I'm sowwy, Coopa. I'm just teasing," Kripke paled.
"This is your last warning, Kripke," and with that, he ran after Amy.
Sheldon sighed again. If not for his eidetic memory, he wouldn't be able to recall how he ever got back to their apartment again. After chasing Amy and trying to make her see reason, he drove them back to Los Robles as she silently cried on the passenger seat.
As soon as they entered the house, Amy only looked at him with a sad and defeated face as she said…
"I know I'm not young and attractive anymore but did you really just hire an assistant so you can have a side chick as Kripke said? I always knew it was too good to be true for someone like you to ever be contented with someone like me."
With that parting statement, Amy slammed the door and left.
"How do I fix this?" he too now had tears in his eyes.
"Sheldon Cooper, you open this door, right now!" since he knew Penny wasn't leaving him alone, he angrily walked to the door.
"What do you want, Penny?" he yelled back as he opened the door for her.
"How dare you hire an assistant so you can cheat on Amy!" Penny hit him on the chest.
"Ouch! Hey! Stop that!"
"What is it I hear about you kissing your assistant?" Penny snarled.
"It's not what it looks like!"
"Explain," Penny glared at him.
"Kripke was just speaking nonsense. I was on my way to Amy's laboratory, but he stopped me. And then, there's this man carrying a large delivery box. My assistant didn't see him, so I pulled her to safety. Her lips accidentally touched the corner of my mouth because of the collision… Which reminds me, excuse me but I have to thoroughly clean my face and hands with Purell," and with that, he ran to the kitchen sink.
He spent a good fifteen minutes cleaning his face and his hands to rid himself of whatever germs his assistant carried. He even thought about just firing her but then Amy would be even madder at him if he did that. He didn't care if Penny stood there waiting for him to be done. He needed to get clean after all.
When he was already wiping his face and his wands with a paper towel, Penny seemed calmer. In fact, she had an amused look on her face as she shook her head in amusement. Sheldon frowned.
"Oh, god! Amy's pregnancy hormones must be so bad indeed if she can't realize that you would rather jump off a cliff than to ever cheat on her," Penny remarked.
"Of course, I would never cheat on my wife! What kind of man do you think I am?" he exclaimed. He was crazy in love with Amy, or at least that's what he heard from the silly music Penny introduced his wife to. Also, why would he ever cheat on the most perfect woman on earth with anyone less?
"I know that Moon Pie, but Amy's hormones are making her crazy right now," Penny said sympathetically.
"I know. Poor kid," he sighed.
"Anyway, during Amy's rants on the phone, she says you must be cheating on her since you barely look at her anymore. Also, the last time you had sex was before you found out she's pregnant," Penny said with a kind voice.
Sheldon gulped, his cheeks and ears flushed. He didn't want to explain this to Penny of all people.
"Sheldon… Are you – blushing?"
"What? No!" He lied but he could immediately feel his eye twitching.
"Spill it, Moonpie," she smirked.
"I don't want to hurt the baby," he muttered as his eyes were glued on the floor.
"What?" Penny was confused.
Sheldon rolled his eyes. Did he really need to spell it out for her?
"Amy is so hot, okay? I find it such a turn on that she's pregnant with my baby! And so, I don't want to act on my urges since I don't want to hurt her and the baby. There! Happy?" he confessed.
"Aww! Shelly! That's so sweet! You have to tell Amy," Penny squealed.
"Cool your jets, woman!" he rolled his eyes. Amy would never believe him now… Unless…
"Penny, you stay right there. I will be printing some documents. This should take around – 30 minutes," he ran to his bedroom so he could set up his laptop and the printer.
When he was logged on to his laptop, he accessed a secret folder that was so heavily protected, even he had to accomplish 20 security questions and to provide his own voice activation code to just see and open the main folder.
To My Vixen on Our 50th Wedding Anniversary
Sheldon sighed as he saw the folder name. This was supposed to be his future surprise but now he had to think of something else. Quickly scrolling down the folder's contents, there were 100 documents inside it.
He quickly wrote some lines of code that commanded the computer to print all the pages for each of the documents inside the secret folder. As he waited for the print job to finish, he looked for the special wooden box he had ordered just to store what was supposed to be his perfect anniversary gift in the future. He also looked for a lock that required a specific number combination.
With all of that ready, all he needed to do was to wait for the printing to finish and to write a short letter to his wife.
He grabbed a blank paper and a pen as he began to write…
My Dearest Vixen,
This box I had made from the same wood on the very chairs we used during our wedding reception contains what is supposed to be my 50th wedding anniversary gift to you. Since desperate times call for desperate measures, I have to give it to you now.
Before anything else, let me assure you of three things:
1.) Nothing happened with my assistant. It was an accident. Kripke was just being his disgusting perverted self and then there was a man carrying a large box. I had to pull my assistant away so she wouldn't hurt herself. Her lips accidentally pressed on the corner of my mouth due to the collision. I dosed my face and my hands with Purell for fifteen minutes. You can even ask Penny since she saw me clean myself.
2.) I avoid touching you since I don't want to hurt you and our baby. I find you being pregnant with our progeny such a turn on that I struggle with myself as I control my baser urges.
3.) I will never cheat on you. I made a vow to love only you. Besides, why will I cheat on the most perfect woman alive?
Whatever you read inside this box is for your eyes only. The contents may shock you but as of that point in time, those are my actual thoughts of you.
I love you, Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper.
Your husband,
Sheldon
Finally, the print job finished. He carefully sealed the documents in chronological order inside the box and locked it. Afterward, he looked for an envelope and inserted his letter inside. Penny was still there, sitting on the couch and reading a book on motherhood.
"Penny, I need you to deliver this to Amy, please," he handed the box and the envelope to his blonde friend.
"Like – now?" she stared at the rather heavy box and the envelope.
"Yes, now. Please, Penny," he begged.
"Alright, alright!"
"Please tell Amy that in case she doesn't want to come home tonight, I will deliver her pregnancy vitamins to Howard's along with everything else that she might need," he said shyly.
"Gotcha, Moonpie. I'll deliver this to Amy right away," Penny smiled at him before she left 4B.
As Sheldon closed the door after Penny, he could only hope that his vixen would forgive him soon.
Good lord! I even recorded in those documents all the times I have practiced self-abuse with thoughts of her, he winced. Maybe he should have filtered the documents first. Now all of his Amy-related secrets would be revealed to his vixen once and for all…
A/N: This is my 2nd Big Bang Theory Fic.
Long live the Shamy!
Edited this since I had some typos.