When Ella woke up the next morning and shyly made her way to the living room, she feared the worst. Memories of her argument with her dad the night before flooded back to her and she couldn't help but feel nervous as she peeked her head into the room and to once again find him sitting on the couch, hunched over slightly.
As quietly as she could, Ella made her way around the couch and sat next to her father, her eyes focused forwards like his, peeking over at him slightly.
"Are you ready to start our marathon?" She asked suddenly, startling the man, his eyes snapping over to her.
After of staring for a moment with his tongue in is cheek he looked back at his hands. "Well…how about I go get our popcorn ready first? You can pick out the first movie while I'm doing that."
Ella nodded and took the remote, skimming through the Netflix selection eagerly. She settled on some Disney movie she didn't recognize—Brother Bear, or something—and clicked on it, readying it for their marathon.
Curiously, she eased her way into the kitchen when she noticed her father standing at the stove. "What are you doing?" Her voice traveled softly across the room, bringing the man's eyes back to her.
"I thought about what you said yesterday, and…Ella, I want to get better, too. So, I thought maybe we could start by doing something we used to do with Dad." His eyes turned to the stove as he poured about a bag's worth of kernels into the little pot with buttery oil.
Right away, Ella felt tears trickling out of her eyes. A broad smile spread on her face, and she raced over to him, hugging his waist.
The man breathed in slowly and lightly rubbed her shoulders, giving her a wry smile as he turned his attention back to the stove.
"Can we built a fort, too?"
Robbie was prepared to decline, giving some sort of excuse about his age or whatnot, but when he turned to reply his eyes stopped on his daughter's smile and he couldn't help but give in. "I…guess we could do that."
Once again, the girl started to cry tears of joy and nostalgia, squeezing her father tightly in her arms, before racing into the living room to get started on their fortress. He could only stare after her before the first 'pop' from the stove diverted his attention away.
When the popcorn was done, he tossed it into a large bowl and made his way into the living room, where blankets, pillows, and chairs were strewn around the room, creating a large fort in the middle of the room.
With a soft smile, he silently joined his daughter within the fort, leaning on his side. "The popcorn burnt a little, I hope that's alright."
She popped a piece into her mouth anyways. "That's alright, Dad. It tastes better burnt"
The two sat in the darkened castle and watched the movie drag on before throwing on another, and another. By the time they were on their fourth movie, Ella found herself growing emotional at the Hallmark film they threw on.
"What's wrong, Ella?" Robbie asked gently, sending his daughter a confused look as she curled up at his side.
"You didn't—you won't forget about me, will you?" Her words were quiet and uncertain, and her eyes wouldn't meet his.
"Ella? Where'd that come from?" He asked softly, reaching forward and rubbing his daughter's shoulder. "Why'd you think that all of a sudden?"
Ella bit her lip and glanced up at her father before darting her eyes back down, focusing on the ground. "You…you forgot about Dad, didn't you?" She hugged herself. "You won't forget about me, too, will you?"
Robbie stared for a moment before shaking his head rapidly. "I'll never forget about your father. And I won't forget about you, either, El."
Her eyes flew back up and caught with her father's, her lip still being dug into by her teeth. "Why don't we do stuff like this anymore, then?" She knit her hands together nervously. "I mean, we're only doing this because we fought yesterday, right?"
Robbie stared at his own hands for a moment, returning them to his own side. "No, of course not, El." He forced out, a heartbroken tone in his voice. "We're doing this because we want to get better. That's what you want, right?"
"Of course, but…" Ella trailed off, shaking her head softly. "Is that what you want, Dad? I want to get better, but…can we get better?"
"What do you mean?" Robbie whispered gently, reaching his hand forward and resting it on his daughter's arm. "Of course we can get better."
Tears trickled down Ella's face. "Then why haven't we? It's been so long, Dad, and I still feel sad. I still wake up and miss him." She couldn't help but sob a little at her own words, her own memories flooding back with them.
Robbie stayed silent, unsure of what to say. He felt the same way as his daughter, so how was he supposed to comfort her? "I… I know, El, but…we have to keep trying. People always say it gets better, so we just have to keep going until it works."
Ella sobbed angrily, shuddering violently. "I just want him to come back." She whisper-shouted, the words sounding hoarse and pleading.
Robbie couldn't handle it anymore. Tears fell down his face and he leaned forward, pulling the small girl into his arms. "I know, Ella, I know."
She looked up between sobs, staring in disbelief. "Dad, are you crying, too?"
He didn't answer and just hugged the child tightly, sobbing into her hair. She took that as a yes and buried her face in her father's chest. "I miss him, too, El, I miss him so much." He tremored against her and she trembled back, the two ceasing their conversation as they just held each other and bawled.
When the two finally stopped, they lay down in their fort, both feeling defeated and lifeless. After minutes of staring at the other, Ella finally spoke up. "I didn't know you were as sad as I am, Dad. You never cry." She said the words in a depressed, matter-of-fact way.
Robbie nodded and reached forward, gently brushing his fingers through her hair. "Of course we're both upset, El." He rested his hand on her ear. "I just try to be strong for you. I do cry. I cry a lot, in fact. I just try to not cry in front of you."
She scooted closer to him. "Crying is alright, Dad. You're still just as strong if you cry." She smiled up at her father. He gave her an awkward grin as a thank you and nodded softly.
"Dad?" She asked gently, pulling her knees close to her body. "I know we'll ever see him on earth again, but…is heaven real?"
Her father sighed, pulling his daughter closer so that her head was on his chest. "I can't promise to you that it is, but…I think it is." He kissed the top of her head. "And I think one day we will all be together again."
She sniffled a little at that and hugged him tightly. "Do you think he'll remember me?"
Robbie pushed the girl's head back slightly so they could look at each other. "Of course he'll remember you. Why wouldn't he?"
"Well, I've read before that people in heaven don't remember anything, so they're not sad anymore." She whispered up to him, her eyes watering slightly. "They especially don't remember bad things, or bad people…I'm not bad, am I?"
Shaking his head, Robbie pushed the child's bangs back. "That's not true. They remember what and who made them happy, knowing that they will see everyone again someday." He kissed her head again. "Plus, you're a good kid. Why would you think otherwise?"
"Well, when Dad died, he told me to be good…why would he say that if I was already good?" She confided, taking a deep breath. "It was because of how I used to play pranks on other kids, wasn't it?"
A soft smile lined Robbie's lips. "El, he loved your pranks. He knew you were good. He just meant keep being good." His smile faltered. "Is that why you stopped playing pranks?"
She nodded and tiredly lay her head against her father's chest.
"He always thought you were silly and goofy, but never bad. I promise."
A small grin grew on the girl's face. "Do you remember when we all went out for pizza and when Dad went to pour Parmesan cheese on his slice, and the lid fell off and buried his pizza?" She giggled slightly. "I never told you, but I did that."
"I figured. Do you remember the look on his face?" Robbie couldn't help but smile down at his daughter, his eyes softening at the memory.
She simply laughed and nodded tiredly.
"Do you still want to be a comedian when you grow up?"
Her face fell slightly. "Kind of. I love making people laugh, but…I wanna do something that would make Dad even more proud."
Robbie sighed, rubbing his daughter's back. "He's proud of you no matter what you choose to be, as long as you are trying."
"What about when I'm not trying?"
Another sigh escaped the man's lips. "Whether or not you realize it, you are always trying. Sometimes you just don't notice you are."
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Dad."
He laughed lightly and sighed again, this time in content. She yawned, and he glimpsed down at her as she closed her eyes. "Night, El."
"It's one o' clock, but I am taking a nap." She said in a prudery tone, giving her father a coy smile. "Night, Dad."
Within minutes, the girl had fallen fast asleep, and her father followed suit.
As she woke up half an hour later, she kept her eyes closed and could almost swear there were two pairs of arms holding her tightly. Scared to open her eyes without her late father there, however, she forced herself to fall back asleep against her father's heart, listening to it's rhythm and reminding herself that while she did lose someone who meant the world to her, she didn't lose the world, and he was still dozing in front of her. Minutes later, she fell back asleep in her cozy fort, remembering how her dads would tickle her and the sound of their laughter, a smile on her face.
Everything would work out in the end. She had to believe that, above everything else.
