Chapter 3: Shadow of Doubt

"Are they really considering going to Canada?" Daisy asks as she helps roll out the dough for the pastries.

News of what had occurred the night before had of course reached the staff downstairs by morning and is now the gossip of the day. The youngest amongst the staff had of course found the idea of exploring another country fascinating and exciting.

"Oh, never mind what they're considering Daisy, but consider how the family is going to feel if their stuffed quiches aren't ready on time," Mrs. Patmore scolds as she goes about the daily kitchen duties.

"I've always wanted to travel on a boat," she says with a dream-like look in her eye.

"Well, I'm goin' to send you off on one if you keep carrying on like this and do not get the quiches done."

Daisy continues with her work not wanting another lecture from Mrs. Patmore. The staff are rushing in and out to get the family's breakfast on the table and doing the morning routine.

"It's not as exciting as you think it might be," Mrs. Baxter says. "It's not worth another thought… at least right now."

"And if does come to pass, it's not like they'll be needin' us or want to bring us, especially if the food isn't done," Patmore says, heating up the oven to put the quiches in.

…

Meanwhile, at the breakfast table, Emily has not said very much, mostly just staring at her food and taking occasional bites of toast. She had not slept very well the night before, spending most of the time staring at the letter that sat on her nightstand, as if its words were speaking and keeping her awake. So many questions filled her mind that she was unable to turn her brain off for very long to go to sleep. It also wasn't encouraging that her adopted family seemed completely against the idea of travelling to her homeland. She could understand if it was too expensive, but the Crawley family and the estate were doing quite well and she knew such a trip could be afforded. Additionally, money didn't seem like a concern as Cousin Eli was offering to pay for their voyage, staff and all. Summer was the perfect time to go, the weather was beautiful and it would be amazing just to go home, even for a few months. Why were they so skeptical? Of course, she knew that the whole thing was unusual; it was more than likely that Eli had some kind of debt he wanted to offload on them or needed her and Marius' signatures to sell the estate or something. Such things made her stomach do flips to think about her childhood home being sold off… She wished that it was too good to be true and she could just spend time there with her new family.

No one in the Crawley family truly understood what it was like for her; for a fourteen-year-old girl to sail across the Atlantic on her own, to set foot in a strange land, and to enter a house full of strangers whom she'd never met. The fear, the dread, and the homesickness were palpable and her heartache during those first few weeks was so strong that she spent nights crying, wanting nothing more than to be in her own bed back in her own home. No one understood that she wanted to go back to Canada and at least… say goodbye, something she had not been able to do three years ago.

All these thoughts kept her awake and when she'd stumbled down to breakfast that morning she had brought the letter with her and continued to gaze at the words, basically ignoring her family and the morning routine. She wasn't her usual bright and cheerful self, even Thomas Barrow had noticed and the others in the dining room were equally concerned. Mary, Henry, and Tom give wary glances at her, while Robert reads his newspaper to take his mind off the entire situation. The dining room was sickly quiet and the only words that had been spoken at the time were when the mail had arrived.

Eventually, Lord Grantham clears his throat.

"Emily, I am going to need that letter if we're going to talk to Murray. I plan to telephone him after breakfast."

"Okay, Papa Grantham," she says. She decides to end breakfast now, wanting to go see the children, who always cheered her up. "Excuse me."

Leaving the letter next to her adopted father, she puts her dishes on the cart and leaves.

"Certainly takin' a toll on her," Tom says quietly.

"It's rare to see her so glum or lost in thought," Henry agrees.

"The only other times that she's like this are the anniversaries of her parents' deaths," Mary mutters, wiping her mouth.

"I just don't want her to get her hopes up," Robert says firmly. "Her age still makes her a bit naïve and eager. Her nature is to be trusting, but this request coming from out of the blue is meant for skepticism."

"Exactly," Mary agrees. "We must be reasonable and think this through. I do believe her cousin wants something from her, perhaps he wants money…" The thoughts of this manipulative man who never seemed to care about Emily before now made her sick. From what Mary suspects, the possibility of this cousin trying to get his hands on the Crawley fortune worries the head of the estate even further. With Matthew leaving Mary in charge of the house and land before his death, the woman worried about every move that could jeopardize what her late husband had attempted to build. After they'd lost all the original Crawley money from a bad investment, if Matthew hadn't adapted and changed Downton to become self-sufficient and "modern"... all their things such as heirlooms and prized possessions would have been scattered to the winds and they'd all would have been forced to leave the home they'd all grown up in and had been in the family for seven generations. Now, Mary knew she had to be responsible and view everything carefully.

"Money, that was rightfully hers," Tom adds.

No one disagrees with him.

"The times are always changing, perhaps if this had happened now or a few years in the future, she'd have inherited it all," Henry says.

"Choices for women are certainly not easy, although Edith is better suited for this conversation than I will ever be," Mary admits.

"Regardless of what his intentions are, we must protect Emily at all costs," Robert says firmly. He looked upon the girl as if she was his own and was determined to treat her as such and do what all fathers do for their children, protect them from harm.

…

"What's Canada like?" George asks.

Emily had taken Sybil, George and Caroline into the library, assuring the nanny that they'd ring for her when it was time to go outside.

The eldest just smiled before taking down the globe to show them where it was again.

"It's a beautiful place and very big. My papa was building a railroad that stretched from here…" she points to British Columbia. "All the way to here." She points to her home province of Nova Scotia.

"That's a long way," Sybil says.

"Very long. There are fields of wheat, mountains with snow caps, crystal blue lakes and of course, the oceans." She points again to where she was born. "I learned to sail and swim in this very ocean."

"I want to learn to swim!" Sybil says smiling.

"Me too," George agrees. "Will you teach us, Emmy?"

"Of course, I will," she smiles. Her expression is partially forced considering that this trip may or may not happen. "I think it's a very important skill to have."

"There are also geese that look different from the ones we see here, and the sweetest syrup you could ever taste, which comes from maple trees…"

All three of the children's eyes light up with the mention of sweets.

"I really hope we go," George says. "I want to go on a ship like Sybil did."

"Ship!" Caroline screeches, trying out the new word while holding her lamb tightly.

"So do I," Emily says, lifting the youngest on her knee.

She wonders what Murray, the family lawyer would say, if it was all just a sham, she'd try to convince Marius to go regardless.

"The good thing is, Uncle Marius and Aunt Collette are coming next week with Joy and Jacob, so you'll be able to play with them. But, now it's time to go outside."

…

While the talk of Canada had been put to rest by those upstairs, it was still being discussed down in the staff dining room. Once lunch had been served, Daisy, Andrew, Baxter, Anna, John, and Mrs. Hughes were sitting doing other tasks while talking.

"Don't you think it's a little odd that they're allegedly inviting the whole staff too?" Baxter points out, sorting through her needlework.

"It is very odd, and Lord Grantham is skeptical of it all," John Bates says.

"I do hope that it turns out to be true," Daisy says eagerly. "It would be amazing to travel somewhere else in the world."

"Don't get those hopes up Daisy," Anna says sternly, not wanting the prospect of travelling to derail the whole household and cause everyone to become distracted. She meets Mrs. Hughes's warning gaze. "Nothing is certain and Lady Mary believes that it won't happen either."

"And never you mind Miss Daisy, this is clearly between Lady Emily and her family, something that we are not involved in," Mrs. Hughes adds.

"But it is a strange place?" Daisy asks, curiously. She is still not ready to let the subject go.

"No different than England I'd imagine," Andrew says.

"Miss Emily speaks quite fondly of her home, saying that she learned to swim and sail by herself," Anna mentions.

"She is an adventurous one for sure," Bates nods.

"Bolder than Lady Sybil herself," Mrs. Hughes muses. "And does not care who knows it."

"Each generation becoming more so," Baxter says whimsically. "Who knows what Master George and Miss Sybil will be doing when they reach that age… perhaps piloting a flying contraption."

The staff chuckle at the thoughts and go about their tasks, letting the subject drop for the time being.

…

Meanwhile, upstairs, Robert listens on the phone as he and Murray discuss what all of this could possibly mean and whether it is a good idea to pursue.