Replies to reviews:
Guest (1) [chapter 2]: Thank you! Here's the next chapter :)
elder441 [chapter 2]: Thank you for loving their friendship :) They support each other and that is how friends and family should be like. Lola won't be in this story as much, little snippets only but Frary is the main focus.
Guest (2) [chapter 2]: Thanks so much! And no worries, here's the next chapter! :)
Mary watched the Medicis, slowly sipping on her cranberry juice. Any other liquid had been sure to come right back up and into the chamber pots so Catherine had suggested the cranberry juice to aid the sickness.
It was sour on her tongue and Kenna gave her a small smile. "Does it taste that bad?"
"The initial taste is lovely until the sourness comes through," Mary said, squinting slightly. "I can't finish this, it is too horrible."
Looking around, Kenna quickly switched Mary's cup with one filled with champagne instead. It made them giggle as Lola and Greer joined them, also getting themselves some drinks.
"You are in higher spirits," Lola stated to Kenna.
Kenna blushed furiously, eyeing her husband who spoke with Francis and one of the Medici men. She could also see Catherine eyeing them from her position with her ladies-in-waiting, but she didn't care about her. She cared for the man whose eyes met hers and sparkled before he was quickly brought back into the conversation he was having.
"Don't say..." Greer gasped, turning to Mary for confirmation.
Mary bit her lip, a smile threatening to breakthrough. She did end up saying, "I saw the pair of them kissing like schoolchildren! I wonder if they reconciled in many ways than one."
Kenna gasped. "Mary! And for your information, we did not make love. I can't, not after..."
She felt hands on her shoulders and her free hand, all soothing and comforting. She had not forgotten the loss she was supposedly glad to have, it still stung her and she and Bash had talked throughout the night about it. It had ended with tears and waking up in each other's arms.
"I can't afford to lose Bash again," Kenna said to them. "I will act on his terms, he's important and I love him."
Lola shared a happy smile with Mary and Greer before her eyes landed on Narcisse a few metres away, lurking behind Catherine's back. Her face fell and she couldn't help but feel jealous about their closeness. She knew they have had relations, it was no secret but she felt used.
"Enough about me..." Kenna trailed off. "Mary, would you like to sit down?"
Mary scoffed lightly. "Am I really at that stage? No one can tell and you are already wanting me to blurt my secret out."
"We are just looking out for you," Greer replied, grinning. "At least some of us can still dance."
She placed her cup down and walked over to a lonesome Leith, holding her hand out. They exchanged a few words, Leith turning to look at Claude before finally accepting Greer's offer.
"What is going on there?" Kenna asked. "Are Leith and Claude involved?"
"I wouldn't know nor will I care," Mary said dismissively. "As long as she is preoccupied and not causing trouble, she can like who she likes."
"I highly doubt Greer will like that," Lola said, uncertainly. She gasped when Narcisse appeared out of nowhere, requesting a dance from her. "My queen needs me."
Narcisse smirked, leaning closer to the three women. "The Queen's peahens are protecting her chick. I am sure she can spare you for one dance."
The colour drained from Mary's face, but she kept her composure and gestured for Lola to accept. It was better to keep him on their side than against them. Relations between the King, Queen and nobleman were improving. Only slightly though. She could have faith that he would not tell anyone else of her pregnancy, but something told her he wanted something in return.
Then there were two and Kenna eyed her husband with longing looks, her husband itching to leave his business to join her too. It made Mary giggle, offering Kenna more drinks so the woman was loose and less uptight.
"Do not frown at my expense, Kenna," she said, linking their arms. "I am sure our husbands would much rather be with us than Medici snakes."
"Our reconciliation is still quite new and sudden," Kenna mumbled. "Actually, I do not feel so well - I may retire to my chambers."
Mary sighed heavily. She could either let Kenna go as Greer and Lola would return soon. Or she could have Kenna stay and they would keep each other company in this sea of untrustworthy snakes. There was only so much conversation one could hold with a tolerated person. Not that any of the Medicis were tolerated by her if not for her husband being half-Medici.
"How unwell are you?" Mary asked her, leading her towards the exit.
"Just some cramps. I believe the miscarriage is playing out, my body returning to its previous state..." Kenna said softly. "How did you do it? Get through that?"
Mary paused when they reached just outside the hall. "It was hard. The excitement was long gone, but the effects still present. Now, I have a feeling that it will be different this time."
Kenna smiled. "Of course it will be. I can't imagine a better mother than you. This child will be very lucky to have you and Francis as parents."
"Maybe one day, you and Bash will have children again."
"I do not want any more children," Kenna confessed uncertainly. "Not after... You are a queen, it is expected of you to bear children. I am just a noblewoman, my husband fights battles for other people... How can we raise a child? What legacy will that child continue? The de Poitiers line from Bash will end with Bash and I feel guilty."
Mary gripped her hands, shaking her head. "You both have the power to be better parents than yours were. To raise a child to be a wonderful person. I know having your child fighting wars that are not theirs won't be the ideal future that you had in mind for them, but if they are happy to do so, shouldn't you count your blessings?
"I was not made to be a mother. I was made to ruin the best things in my life under no control of my own," Kenna replied sadly. "I'd rather have a few nights with Bash than none at all. It is who he is and I can't deny someone who has been independent since his childhood. Who am I to ruin what we have between us? To ask for children that he may rarely see or know? I am a lady-in-waiting, he is the King's Deputy... That is our life now and I need to adjust."
She gently let go of Mary's hands and walked away from her. She had a feeling that she was about to be commanded to turn around and face Mary, but she didn't hear any sounds of disapproval.
Mary opened her mouth to call her. Order her as she had done with Lola long ago, but doing so could hurt their relationship. Both women were selfish and stubborn, but they cared for each other and Kenna was as close to a sister as Mary could wish for.
So Mary let her go and returned back into the hall with a wide smile on her face. She found Greer waiting sadly by the drinks table and she made it her mission to cheer the blonde up, both giggling within minutes of exchanging a few words.
If one friend was sad, she sure as hell will not allow them all to be sad.
Just as Mary was about to say something else, she spotted Francis and Bash walking towards them, Lola meeting the women first. She waited until her husband arrived before pulling him to her side, not minding if anyone saw the slight desperation.
"Finally," she said, under her breath. "I was beginning to think you enjoyed your third cousin's company over mine!"
Francis grinned wryly. "Just sorting out a few deals."
"What deals?" She asked curiously.
"None to be deep in thought about," her husband said.
"Where's Kenna?" Bash asked, looking around for his wife.
Mary turned to him. "She went to lie down."
Bash frowned, excusing himself as Mary returned her sights onto her husband. She smiled at him, offering him something to drink as many other nobles waited to take his attention away.
They couldn't allow the future parents a few minutes alone and Francis took the cup, apologising sincerely before walking off with a German official. It was his duty. King first and husband later.
"I know Catherine has forbidden you from dancing, but what way to show everyone that they may be wrong?" Greer suggested cheekily. "Come along, we will not be too rough."
Mary nodded and followed them into the centre of the hall, raising both her hands for her friends to connect theirs to hers. The dance was normally meant for a woman paired with a man, but Mary didn't care.
They spun around, letting out laughter which made her husband turn to them in amusement, talking but his eyes remained on her.
Despite the crown on her head and her high title, she was just a girl. A girl who loved a boy and she wanted to feel that before that girl and boy became mother and father. After that, there will be no time to be just a girl and just a boy. Permanently, King and Queen and father and mother.
...
Kenna shivered, not bothering to get up to close the windows or pull the sheets over her body.
She couldn't help how she felt, the grief, the trauma, the uncertainty. Her life was confusing from the day she stepped foot in France. From the day she stopped being her father's daughter and someone's wife.
She was free yet not free. A cage of no shape or formation trapped her and she did not know where it came from.
Mary? Her queen's need for her to remain as one of the few people she could trust never put weight on her shoulders. Mary used Bash and Mary used Kenna. Bash was Mary's knight in shining armour and Kenna was Mary's subject.
Kenna could not complain, most royals treated their closest allies unjustly. Mary was her best friend, family even. It was an unspoken deal between them.
Then, where did the cage come from?
"Kenna?"
She slowly sat up, giving her husband a small smile. "Did you tire out the Medici general already?"
"He tired himself out," Bash replied softly, starting to undress. "I'd much rather speak with someone who matters."
"Francis is still downstairs," came her reply, teasing and tired. "I'd rather enjoy the silence."
He got into their bed, bringing her to his side. "Then I will enjoy the silence with you."
He closed his eyes and she looked up to study him. He looked tired and in distress as if he was fighting an inside battle with himself. She never bothered asking what exactly he did outside the castle gates, nor did she want to pry. With his face twitching as if he was reliving a terrible memory, she placed a soft kiss on his neck.
"Maybe the silence is overrated," she whispered in the darkness. "How did it feel?"
"Hmm, what?"
"Almost dying," she asked quietly, tears springing to her eyes as she gripped onto his arm. "I can't imagine what you must have felt. Being alone, bloody and in pain. I-I should have been with you. I never should have been with Renaude, my husband needed me and I failed you-"
"Kenna, you didn't fail me," he said firmly, opening his eyes and looking down at her. "Yes, I was alone and bloody and in pain. The first thing I thought of was Francis, but you were a close second."
She laughed softly, tears running down her cheeks. "How lovely."
"I dreamt of you the second my eyes closed. I could have compared you to a siren, lulling me into your arms..." He looked away, focusing on something in the darkness. "I wouldn't have minded. But I had to live."
"A siren?" She said, pulling away. "A woman luring you to death?"
He frowned then it dawned on him. "No, not a siren per se. I chose the wrong word. An angel... I am not sure if I believe in angels, though."
She smiled a little bit, leaning back onto his chest. "I am an angel?"
"I suppose so. You were my guardian angel and... I missed you," he replied.
"I missed you too," she said, leaning up to kiss him. "There's something I need to tell you. Don't be mad."
He looked down, using his hand to brush her hair from her eyes. "I will never be upset with you or even mad. I love you and whatever you say, we will find a way to work through it."
"Do you mind if... Do you mind not having any children?" She asked quietly, looking at him with wide eyes.
He froze. The thought had never crossed his mind since her miscarriage. Before he was a married man, even before Mary, he had never wanted to be a father. Nor had he wanted to father any bastards.
Then, Mary came along and he was almost a king. Almost a king who would have had to father heirs and that meant having children. After that, Mary had been claimed by Francis, the pair eventually becoming King and Queen of France after Bash had been wedded to Kenna.
They were married, they enjoyed exploring each other and getting to know each other. He liked the idea of someone warming his bed, being the only woman to ever claim him sexually and otherwise. The idea of children never crossed his mind after, he wasn't important so why did he need heirs? Children to give his wife company, perhaps, but now even thought out fully he wanted them.
Bash and Kenna never talked about children until last night, saying how horrible it was to lose it without ever getting to meet them. If he was honest, Bash did consider having children once they came to terms with their loss.
Maybe to strengthen their marriage or to make his wife happy with the idea of parenting after Pascal. He just wanted children, no reason was necessary because the idea of them pleased him. Especially if his beautiful wife was to be their mother. He'd hope they would favour her beauty and his green eyes.
At the end of the day, Kenna was his wife and, he would serve her and please her.
"What do you want?" He asked in return.
"I-I don't want them. Not after..." Tears soaked his chest as she laid her head back onto it, gripping his side. "I'm so sorry..."
He rubbed her back, shaking his head. "It's fine. I don't want them either."
"Oh, thank God," she breathed out, further breaking his heart.
"Thank God, indeed," he croaked out, not realising the tears slipping down his cheeks unwillingly.
...
The next day, Francis invited Bash out for a ride. Charles and Henri had complained of their older brothers' time away from the castle, wanting to join them, but this was a trip for men.
A few miles away from prying ears, emotional wives and stern guards, they got off their horses and walked them over to the river to drink from. It was a peaceful moment, the occasional neigh interrupting it.
"Kenna does not want to have children," Bash finally confessed much to Francis's surprise. He was not one to reveal his secrets or the issues regarding his marriage.
"I-I thought-"
"I thought as well and now, she does not want children," Bash replied, sitting against the tree. "Before Kenna, I never imagined being a father. After Kenna, all I wanted was a child with her features. I dreamt and I wished her with child, every time we... Alas, it was not meant to be until it was too late and now we'll never be the great parents I know we could be."
Francis sat beside him. "I have no words. Are you certain?"
"I lied to her. I lied that I was glad to not ever be a father," Bash said, shaking his head. "I should have told her, but she was upset and I didn't want to push her any further."
"Oh, Lord," Francis mumbled. "You need to tell her the truth. I am sure this is because of your loss."
Bash shrugged. "It does make sense, though. I will never amount to something. I will not be a king or anything else... Why do I need heirs? My uncle can easily remarry and keep the line going, but it will not be from me that my line continues."
"What about your true line, the Valois line?" Francis asked, upset that his brother did not value himself as much as others valued him. "I know you may never be anything of great power, but you are still a man who loves a woman. You should allow yourselves to create something from that love, someone that will love you unconditionally in return. Someone to father better than ours did."
"I am a bastard, why-"
"I'll give you a duchy. Then, you will be required to have at least a child," Francis quickly said. "I will make it the law."
Bash began to laugh, giving his brother an incredulous look afterwards. "Force my wife to bear my children? The same wife who does not wish to carry a child inside her for the remainder of our lives? She will come to resent me. She will resent that child and you for doing that to her."
"Mary will talk to her."
"I have asked already - she could not change her mind," Bash said dismissively. "Kenna is set on the matter. Although, she would not mind the duchy."
Francis let out a chuckle. "I am sure she would not. Perhaps it is a good idea. To gift you both a duchy - I'll give you one of my mother's closer to the Court. Time away will allow her to recover, to rethink and our children will grow up with each other as cousins."
"A beautiful vision, I can't deny. It will not come to pass, unfortunately," Bash replied, closing his eyes.
"If you say so," Francis relented. "But I believe in my instincts and something tells me that she will change her mind once she has grieved what she lost. Children are God's greatest blessings and it is not up to us to reject them if he gifts us with them."
"I hope you're right," Bash smiled a little, the corner of his lips twitching.
As Francis got back up to tend to the horses, Bash remained shaded from the sun. He listened to the wildlife, the flow of the water and the hooves of the horses as they shifted from one place to another.
Just as he became comfortable, he felt something sharp hit his neck. His eyes snapped open and his hand reached up to inspect his neck. He felt nothing, but the familiar stickiness of blood.
"Did you throw something at me?" He asked Francis, but Francis was preoccupied with his horse a few good metres away.
The object that assaulted him was shot at a closer distance.
Using the river to wash the blood away from the small wound, he looked around. He and Francis were the only ones there, but he couldn't deny that since Delphine had arrived, strange things had been happening.
His life had turned somewhat, he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He saw the world differently, perhaps because he was about to die. Things were darker, but not foreign to him anymore.
If someone had said they were under a spell, he would believe them. Things such as these wouldn't have made him bat an eyelid and he would have gone out of his way to disprove them. Now, it wasn't strange to him like the time Claude said Delphine had done something to that servant boy.
Convinced that it must have been a fallen splint from the tree he was under, he got up and went to his horse. He was being absurd, nothing could have been more than it was.
Fixing the collar of his cloak, he mounted his horse and followed Francis away from the lake. It was nothing.
...
Mary turned when she heard a door open. She smiled once she saw that it was Francis, shaking out his hair of mud.
"Mud?" She asked, going over to help him. "Whyever have you mud in your hair?"
He grinned a little. "Henri was upset so he threw mud cakes our way," he replied. "I will need to clean up before I see General Medici."
"General Medici again?" Mary asked strained. "Francis, you cannot be too trusting of your mother's side."
"Who says I trust them?" Francis retorted, smiling. "I know what I am doing. We should accept that our uncles and cousins are untrustworthy, always acting in their best interests and not for the good of France or Scotland."
She nodded in agreement. "That is true. Why are you entertaining them? You should be with me and our unborn child."
"I would most happily be with you and our child," Francis said, cupping her cheeks. "I have to keep my mother on our side. There were talks that she was communicating with Elizabeth."
"What?!"
"False claims," Francis quickly said. "I cannot be certain though. My mother has been distant of late."
"Francis, we cannot take this lightly! If your own mother is conspiring against us, what chance do we have against England?" Mary asked him.
Francis kissed her to assure her. "We keep the Medicis happy and our child will have the support they need to claim the throne."
"Just don't... Don't do anything stupid, Francis. The Medicis are more powerful than the Valois, there are not many of you and-"
"I have this in hand," he cut her off, kissing her again. "Do not worry about anything. Just keep yourself from any stress and be happy. Mary, we are having a child! Focus on them, not anything or anyone else."
She hugged him tightly, nodding against his chest. It would be nice to not have to watch her shoulder every minute. Although English radicals could still be willing to kill her and her baby once her happy news was announced.
"Just remember how much I love you," he said to her. "I will always act in yours and our child's best interests. Just relieve yourself of any worry."
"I will... I love you, too," she said softly, a smile on her face.
She had her boy, she was a girl and they were going to get through anything together.
...
Kenna opened her eyes, letting out a yawn when she felt a presence enter the bedchamber. Her brown eyes brightened at the sight of Bash and he was failing awfully at not making any noise.
After the thump of his left boot in the trunk, he cursed much to her amusement. He started blowing out candles on his way over to the bed as he took his clothes off. He was tired, being sidetracked by a guard who had some villagers complaining of their livestock being killed.
He had found the culprits, almost rolling his eyes when they turned out to be hungry foxes. He didn't blame the animals, they did as nature wanted them to do, feed on their prey.
The guilt he felt killing the foxes had forced his eyes away as he slaughtered the family and hoped the villagers were happy to find the rest of their livestock alive and not dead, their blood soaking up the green grass every day.
"Goddamn it," he muttered, tripping when his legs got caught on his trousers that he'd pulled down.
"Does one's husband need help?" Kenna finally said, announcing that she was awake and saw all that had happened.
Bash sighed from his position on the floor. "I apologise. Had to kill innocents today."
Kenna frowned. "People?"
"Foxes."
She smiled a little. "Foxes are innocent? I never would have thought."
"Oh, how the pups stared as I shielded me killing their father and mother... I had to end their lives as well since the villagers would not accommodate them. Had an audience too, very unsettling."
"Get yourself off the ground and into bed so you can tell me all about it," Kenna told him, patting his side.
Bash chuckled to himself, pulling his trousers off and leaving them on the ground as he entered the bed. He pulled the covers over them and kissed her, pulling her on top of him.
"Sebastian!" She gasped out, laughing. "I said we should talk about you murdering a beautiful family, not claim me."
"Can I do both? It is not like we have not multitasked before," he replied, attaching his lips to her collarbone.
"Bash..." She whined.
He stopped, pulling away to see the tears in her eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"
Kenna shook her head, rolling off of him to lay back on her side. She covered her face, tears leaking from her eyes. She wanted to, so badly, but she couldn't.
Their last time was still in her mind before everything was ruined.
"I can't forget our last time," she whispered. "Are you sure you want me?"
He rolled so he was resting on his side, placing a hand on her stomach. "Of course, I want you. I will always want you. I want every part of you, I crave you."
She removed her hands from her face, turning her head to look at him. "You do?"
"Yes, I do."
"Even if I lost our baby?" She asked nervously.
"Even if you lost our baby," he replied, cupping her cheek. "Kenna, I do want children. I am sorry I lied-"
Kenna kissed him, silencing his words. "I want us to try properly, I've had a chance to think things through. I cannot be here, though. Not with all of these bad memories. Henry, Diane, the baby... I need time away. I know you can't leave Francis and I won't ask that of you-"
"Francis has offered us a duchy and new titles," he cut her off. "I accepted the offer because we both need to start anew."
"Are you... Is this real?" She breathed out, sliding closer to him.
He nodded. "It is. I think being away from Court is exactly what we both need. To start a family, to be normal. For our happiness... Leaving Francis would be difficult, but long ago I was willing to leave for Paris with you. Kenna, your happiness is all that matters to me. I love you."
"I love you, too. So much," she whispered, kissing him as her hands found his neck. "Thank you."
"Thank Francis," he replied against her lips, making her laugh.
"Perhaps Francis is the one I should be threatened about," she replied, giggling as he flipped them over so she laid on his chest.
He smiled at her small jest. "So my wife thinks she can tell jokes now."
"Your wife needs her husband," she replied, kissing him deeply. "So hurry up and take her."
"Are you sure? It is not that long since you-"
"I'm sure," she said softly. "The only man I want to make love with is you. I'm desperate for your touch."
"We should wait," he replied.
She shook her head. "Please?"
"We should wait," he repeated, playing with her hair. "We have all the time in the world to start a family. We should leave as soon as possible, though."
"Alright," she whispered, kissing him. "I love you."
"I love you more."