A/N: I don't own Harry Potter

This is for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Assignment #3 Magical Law and Government task #2

Insane Prompt Challenge: 933 color – scarlet

Word Count: 696

Warning: Mentions of abuse

Sirius looked at the small bundle tucked in the side car. He wondered what story Petunia would give when she woke to find the baby gone. He knew it was wrong to just take Harry, but he knew James and Lily would never had wanted this. The bundle stirred a little and Sirius hoped baby Harry would stay asleep.

He had managed to slip back into wizarding London before the police showed up at Privet Drive. The kidnapping of Harry Potter made all the muggle papers. Sirius found it funny that they still couldn't figure out how he'd gotten into the house.

"Padfoot? Please tell me you're home," Remus stated opening the door. Sirius looked up from where he was playing on the floor with Harry. They were sorting stuffed animals by color. So far they'd manage to make two piles; yellow and scarlet. Remus stared at them.

"Please, tell me you didn't..."

"I did."

"The muggles are looking everywhere for him! They say he was abducted from his bed."

"His box you mean. He didn't have a bed. He was sleeping in a box, with a grubby blanket. His diaper was full and his hair was in tangles." Remus blinked.

"He has James' hair, of course it was in tangles! That's besides the point, Padfoot. You kidnapped Harry."

"No, I saved him. If I'd left him there, he'd be dead within a year. They hate him, they hated Lily and James. Petunia hasn't changed a bit, well, maybe a bit for the worse. That walrus of a husband of hers... I was watching them Moony! He yelled at Harry for crying while their little bundle of lard was screaming his head off and they just laughed!" Remus sat down on the floor.

"Unca Moony!" Harry exclaimed crawling over to him. Remus shook his head.

"It was still wrong. They're going to keep looking for him, Sirius."

"I know, I know, well, they might give up at some point? I mean, he's a baby, it's not like he could have gone too far on his own... I should have left the door open or something so they'd think he wandered off..." Remus shook his head.

"We should take him back... but... were things really that bad?"

"Yes, I watched them for three days in my dog form, chased a few cats too... crazy squib neighbor..." Remus almost asked but thought better of it.

"Alright. Since we can't let him go back, we need a way to get the police to give up looking, hell, if Dumbledore hears about this..."

"I have an idea!" Sirius suddenly announced.

"How crazy is it?"

"It's not crazy. We just make them think Harry's dead! They find a body, one we transformed to look like Harry. We could use a stuff animal or something, or a pig? Case closed!"

"Where are we going to get a pig?" Remus asked slowly. "Wait, why am I even entertaining this idea?"

"So we can keep Harry," Sirius answered with a nod. Remus sighed but knew Sirius had a point.

In the end, they did find a pig, well, most of a pig. It had been attacked by something and was already dead when they transformed it to look like Harry. Harry was staying with Sirius' cousin, Andi, while the two marauders pulled off their most important prank. The pig/Harry was found by the muggle police. Within a week Harry Potter was declared dead and Vernon Dursley was under investigation for murder.

"That worked out well," Sirius stated.

"Only you... We can't keep his name Harry Potter, since we just killed him off."

"I was thinking about that, Moony and Harry and I came up with a new name for him."

"It had better not be Prongs Junior!"

"Nope, James Prongs Evans!" Sirius announced Remus stared at him and shook his head. Meanwhile, the newly christened James painted the walls a dark shade of scarlet using a set of muggle fingerpaints.

"Well, it'll do until he goes to Hogwarts at least," Remus muttered. "Alright, James it is," he finally agreed wondering, not for the first time since meeting Sirius, if he'd finally lost his mind.