Chapter 4: The Girth of a Hero!

In Patrick's dream, the starfish sleeps in his rock peacefully... until he is woken up from a nightmare. At the same time, his tv turns on all of a sudden. The screen becomes filled with static as Patrick wildly moves about in his bed.

Patrick: "Nooo... Nooooooo! Uh...? Woah… that was a strange dream…"

News Anchor on TV: "We interrupt your regularly scheduled static with an urgent newsflash! Bikini Bottom is threatened by the Dreaded Patrick! Who can save us now?! WHO?!"

As soon as that name was mentioned, Patrick knew he had to do something. He knew that the Dreaded Patrick was an absolute bag of tartar sauce, the lowest of the low. The Dread Patrick was a truly evil supervillain. There was only one thing that Patrick could do at a time like this; to go into his superhero alter ego, Starfishman.

Patrick: "The Dreaded Patrick?! This is a job for... STARFISHMAN!"

Patrick quickly suited up into one his superhero costumes, the outfits that embody who Starfishman is. He had multiple costumes, but lately... he was known for wearing a full-body one that had the colors red, yellow, and black, with a red star labeled on the cape. His mask was also red, giving off the vibe that he was not messing around. This was the costume he ended up wearing to stop the Dreaded Patrick and his crimes. After that, he jumped right out of his rock to see Bikini Bottom's current state.

Patrick: "Well... everything looks normal here... except, nothing looks the same as it used to. Hm... SpongeBob's house has seemed to have lost a lot of weight; you're looking quite trim, little pineapple. Heeey, is that a phone I hear? Maybe I should go see who's calling it… ... Hello, Starfishman speaking."

Guy on the Phone: "Thank goodness it's you! Dreaded Patrick's Henchmen are on the loose; you have to do something!"

Patrick: "Starfishman never turns a blind eye from evil."

Guy on the Phone: "Great. You know how to do your "Super Turbo Twist" attack, right?"

Patrick: "Of course I do, I'm Starfishman! All I do is spin around and let my arms do the smacking. Uh... where are these bad guys, anyway...? … Oh, I see. Well Phone Guy, I'm gonna beat up those henchmen."

Patrick hung up the phone and got out of the booth to prepare himself for a brawl. Dreaded Patrick's goons were appearing from posters. They jumped out of them, became 2.5D, and attacked Patrick.

Patrick: "Oh boy, here they come! Eat this and bye-bye baddies! Yah!"

Patrick dealt with the dangerous starfish henchmen that were wearing green and felt good about himself. Then, the phone booth started to ring again. Patrick entered it and picked up the phone.

Patrick: "Errr... Hello?"

Guy on the Phone: "Hello, Starfishman."

Patrick: "Just a minute, I'll go get him."

Guy on the Phone: "*sigh* YOU'RE Starfishman."

Patrick: "Oh yeah! Starfishman, reporting for duty!"

Guy on the Phone: "I called to remind you of a few other abilities that you probably didn't know that you have. The first is your "Super Charge" ability: Not only can this take down bad guys, but it can also push certain objects out of the way. As a little bonus, this ability allows you to break through weak paper walls; you'll know when you see them. The second is your "Super Ground Slam" attack: This damages bad guys as well, and it helps you press certain buttons on the ground. It's important to note that some buttons require you to slam down on them multiple times in order to fully work. The third and last of these abilities is your "Super Bluster Puff" attack. This allows you to blow away any bad guys that might get in your way, and it also powers up windmills to do things for you. Now Starfishman, did you catch all of that?"

Patrick: "Um... Wow! I had no idea I could do these things. I'm more awesome than I thought!"

Guy on the Phone: "Think there's one of those paper walls near you. Go try out your Super Charge on that and I'll call you again when the time is right."

Patrick: "Alright, see ya."

The guy on the phone hung up and Patrick got out of the booth. The starfish approached the wall, readied himself, and dashed through with super speed.

Patrick: "Guess where this wall is going... IN THE SHREDDER! ... Heeey, there's one of those buttons that guy mentioned. Wait... who's that over there?"

?: "So, Starfishman... I see you have defeated some of my minions."

Patrick: "Y-you...! Dreaded Patrick!"

Dreaded Patrick: "Yes! It is I, the Dreaded Patrick! Honestly though, do you think you have a chance against me? Mwuhahahahaa!"

Patrick: "What's so funny? Was there a joke that I missed just now?"

Dreaded Patrick: "Regardless of any missed jokes, you will deal with more of my henchmen. I'm not ready to face you just yet... Hah!"

Patrick: "No, wait! Come back, you coward! ... *sigh* More of Dreaded Patrick's lackeys... It's fine, I'll just bop them like I did with the last group!"

Patrick did just that, he bopped all the bad guys in the immediate vicinity and approached the nearby button. He used his Super Ground Slam to press it three times with his fist. The starfish was able to get on top of all the manhole covers that have been raised up from this button. With that, he got to another button that required three presses before fully activating. More manholes were raised, allowing him the opportunity to get to another ringing phone booth. But then more of Dreaded Patrick's goons showed up, noticing the change. The starfish hero quickly dispatched them before entering the phone booth, waiting for a response as he picked up the phone.

Patrick: "Hello, may I help you?"

Guy on the Phone: "More like: May I help you, Starfishman? I came to warn you that up ahead is a bunch of gas fumes, leaking from pipes. You'll want to either find a way to turn it off, or to just cover your mouth and nose. You might be Starfishman, but you're still vulnerable to things like gas. Luckily, there's a button just in front of the gas and I know that it's connected to the gas pipes."

Patrick: "Oh, well that's great! Less worries for me... thanks, Phone Guy."

Patrick hung up and left that booth to go slam on the button. He only had to do so once and the gas went away. With a smile, Patrick continued on his merry way to stop you-know-who. After a while of walking around and exploring, he encountered Dreaded Patrick again.

Dreaded Patrick: "You'd better give up, Starfishman! There's no way across to get to ME! Mwuhahahahaa!"

Patrick: "You again! And there's that phone again too! Why? Why?!"

Feeling unsure as for what to do next, Patrick reluctantly went inside this most recent phone booth and picked the phone up. As he waited for a voice, inner anger was boiling inside him. Thankfully, he managed to contain this anger and calm down.

Patrick: "Hello? Can anyone help me find a way to get over to Dreaded Patrick here?"

Guy on the Phone: "Don't worry, Starfishman... I'll be here for you, just like those other times. And, I'll keep helping you out if you wish."

Patrick: "The help is greatly appreciated. I would really love some insight right about now."

Guy on the Phone: "Starfishman, look down below in the pit separating you and Dreaded Patrick. What do you see there?"

Patrick: "Um... Mr. Krabs' house?"

Guy on the Phone: "No, Starfishman... right BY that house. What do you see there, off to the right in that pit?"

Patrick: "Uh...? ... Windmills... Windmills... *gasp* Windmills! That's it! Wait... what do I do with windmills?"

Guy on the Phone: "Use your Super Bluster Puff to make them turn, Starfishman."

Patrick: "Oh yeah! How can I forget already? You're the best, Phone Guy!"

Patrick hung up and felt much better, knowing that he was soon able to approach Dreaded Patrick. He did have to deal a few minions before doing some work on the windmills. Once he did said work, a giant platform was brought down to act like a bridge. Patrick sprinted his way towards Dreaded Patrick, but the evildoer just jumped away from sight.

Patrick: "Fishpaste! He got away again and now I have to fight more of his minions! It's only two weak ones though, so one Super Turbo Twist should do the job. Yah! ... Now that minions A and B are gone... let's see what's over- Barnacles, more of them... Well, Dreaded Patrick, you are truly one evil starfish... but no henchman is going to get in my way. Eat my Turbo Twists, you baddies!"

Patrick dealt with the additional minions and continued forward. Just up ahead, he saw Dreaded Patrick plaster something on to the side of a building. He ran to the scene and the supervillain noticed him.

Dreaded Patrick: "Now the whole world shall tremble before my magnificent visage... my PERFECT pinkness!"

Patrick: "Stop, villain!"

Dreaded Patrick: "Sorry, but I've got more things to do before I can fight you, Starfishman!"

Patrick: "Drat, he's always running away from me. ... Oh-! That phone booth's going on, I might want to pick it up. ... Heello, who's calling?"

Guy on the Phone: "It's me, Starfishman, I'm the only one who ever calls you!"

Patrick: "Oh, right."

Guy on the Phone: "Dreaded Patrick's vile posters are plastered all over town! If he plasters up enough of those, the citizens will think that he's asserting his dominance over them. You must take them down, Starfishman!"

Patrick: "Well, what do I do?"

Guy on the Phone: "Those posters might be plastered on, but that doesn't mean that they can't be blown away! Maybe your Super Bluster Puff will do the trick here."

Patrick: "Well, there's only one way to find out…"

Patrick hung up the phone and tried using his Super Bluster Puff to blow away the poster Dreaded Patrick had just plastered. As it turned out, it worked after a few seconds of blowing. Patrick was relieved at the sight, knowing that he was doing indirect good.

Patrick: "Now the people of Bikini Bottom will no longer have to look at your ugly face, Dreaded Patrick! ... Heeey, wait! Dreaded Patrick has a similar face to mine! That's like me saying that I'M ugly! ... Anyway... You stick the posters up, Dreaded Patrick... and Starfishman knocks them down! ... Hey, there's a button under that boat. Maybe a Super Charge can push it out of the way. ... Oof-! ... It worked... but I'm a little sore now... Oh well!"

Patrick slammed on the revealed button three times to fully activate the next incoming set of manholes. After jumping on them, he reached a couple more of those posters and used the Super Bluster Puff to remove them. Right next to where he now was, a windmill sat with a hanging platform. Patrick jumped on to that very platform and used his move again to turn the windmill. This made the platform carry him to the other side of the gap he was now above. He hopped over to the safety of this rooftop and discovered a weak paper wall, which housed yet another poster of Dreaded Patrick.

Patrick: "Weird... Why would Dreaded Patrick plaster a poster here of all places? ... There's one of his goons, walking just in front of that billboard... If I'm sneaky enough... ... See ya, sucker!"

Patrick kicked the minion off of the billboard's structure, then he continued his way through the rooftops. His journey through them ended with one more poster to remove, which he blew it away. As soon as he did so, a door opened and he quickly noticed.

Patrick: "No more plastering posters for you, Dreaded Patrick!"

Random Starfish Citizen: "Hey, what ever happened to the Pink Menace? He was a much cooler superhero in my eyes, and now he's suddenly gone."

Patrick ignored that comment and went through the newly opened door, seeing more gas. There was no button to press, but there was a windmill to turn. Him using the Super Bluster Puff proved to be worth it, because the gas went away completely. After that, dogfish came into his view and there was nothing that Patrick could do to subdue them. All he could do was avoid them out-right. With some patience, he was able to get around them all and eventually encounter Dreaded Patrick again.

Dreaded Patrick: "You'll never catch me, you five-pointed imbecile! As you may have already noticed: There is no way to reach me from where you are."

Patrick: "There must be a way to get up to him... but what could that way be? ... Oh hey! Another phone booth, and it's ringing too. Hi there, Starfishman's Boutique and Store!"

Guy on the Phone: "... I'm just going to pretend that I didn't hear that... ... Ahem. Starfishman, Dreaded Patrick might be too high for you to reach right now... but, blowing on all the tall things in this area should prove to be handy."

Patrick: "Why would I wanna do that?"

Guy on the Phone: "These things are concealing a secret, Starfishman... a BIG secret. If you blow on them with your Super Bluster Puff, they'll spin around and you'll find out the secret."

Patrick: "Hmm... Mysterious... and exciting! Sounds like my secret box!"

Patrick hung up, then used his Super Bluster Puff to blow on everything in the area considered to be tall. To him, those were the conspicuous trees. Once Dreaded Patrick realized what our hero was doing, he sent his minions after him. But, it was too late. Patrick had already blown on every tree and revealed the secret.

Dreaded Patrick: "Damn you, you five-pointed fathead! Minions, go after him!"

Patrick: "Dreaded Patrick, one of these days... I will catch you. *sigh* Are you guys goons, or minions?"

Dreaded Patrick: "I see you have easily defeated even more of my minions, Starfishman. No matter, you won't defeat me the same way!"

Dreaded Patrick fled the scene and Patrick walked over to the supposed secret he now noticed. Next to it, was another phone booth that was ringing. The starfish went ahead and picked the phone up.

Patrick: "Hello, Phone Guy!"

Random Starfish on the Phone: "I'm a-sorry, you have the wrong-a number."

Patrick: "No problem... ...? Hello?"

Guy on the Phone: "Starfishman, there's another thing that I need to tell you about. You know the thing that just appeared? It's a tab. When you see one of these: You will be able to pop up some useful stairs by pulling on it."

Patrick: "Ooh, stairs! Thank you, Phone Guy!"

Patrick hung up and pulled on this tab. Despite his super strength, he struggled a bit to pull that tab hard enough to make it work. With some determination though, he was able to make stairs appear. Patrick walked on them to reach another set of rooftops. More gas leaked from pipes, which he turned off by blowing on a nearby windmill. More dogfish and more of Dreaded Patrick's goons patrolled these rooftops. The dogfish here weren't that big an issue, since they were away from where Patrick wanted to go. The minions on the other hand... they were very much in the way of his path. He knocked them all into submission and walked away from them.

Patrick: "What do we have here? Dreaded Patrick is on the other side of that gap… Well, would ya look at that... yet another phone booth. And I think I already know what needs to be done here. But, just to make sure... ... Before you say anything, Phone Guy: I have a plan to deal with this."

Guy on the Phone: "Does it involve you using your Super Charge attack?"

Patrick: "No, it was something that had to do with some rope, a jellyfish, and a picture of Squidward... but your way sounds better. ... Alright, the last time that I ran at a wall, Squidward laughed at me... but it'll be different this time. Hrr-! Oof-! ... Well, would ya look at that! If only Squidward could've seen that happen. Oh great, more goons... I'll flatten you guys... even more! Boom! I sting like a jellyfish, time to go bye-bye! … ... ... Woo-hoo! Go me! ... Another phone booth, another call. ... Hello, Phone Dude."

Guy on the Phone: "Starfishman, you have one more ability that I want to tell you about; it's called the "Hot and Cold" ability. The closer you get to a hidden button, the warmer you'll be. If you go far away from it, then you'll get colder. There's a hidden button here, see if you can find it with this ability."

The phone guy hung up and Patrick searched for the button. It didn't take him very long at all and he uncovered it to slam down on it. This made the nearby snails run away from the spot they were planted in, allowing Patrick to move on. He saw another ringing phone booth and wasted no time before receiving the call.

Patrick: "Hello?"

Guy on the Phone: "Okay, Starfishman... you'll need to get past that nasty-looking critter."

Patrick: "You betcha."

Guy on the Phone: "It's attached to that button, if you Ground Slam on that button... it should go and run off."

Patrick: "Yay! More slamming!"

Patrick hung up the phone and more of Dreaded Patrick goons popped out of posters. Prompting the starfish to dispatch them and move on with the box-critters. But then, another set of minions came by to assault Patrick. Although, they really didn't last too long, despite being somewhat tougher than the previous lackeys. After dealing with those, Patrick finished up the box-critters' buttons, which also served to activate... yes, more manholes. He jumped on them, and landed on a solid roof to continue in his pursuit of Dreaded Patrick.

Author's Notes: In Patrick's dream, he's the superhero known as Starfishman! After waking up in his dream, the TV showed that the supervillain, Dreaded Patrick, was on the loose. Wishing to save Bikini Bottom from him, Patrick transformed into his superhero alter ego. Throughout his pursuit of Dreaded Patrick, Patrick got plenty of help from this guy on the phone. This allowed him to encounter the villain a few times, which also caused him to fight many minions along the way. Patrick's pursuit of Dreaded Patrick isn't over yet though, far from it. What else will Dreaded Patrick do to halt Patrick's progress? Next chapter, Chapter 5: Foil Dreaded Patrick's Plans!