The Unknown

by untilmynextstory

Sometimes relationships head into unknown waters. After facing many tribulations in their relationship, Jax Teller doesn't know how to tread back to where he and his wife, Alma, used to be.

3. Small Tears

It's been almost two months. Two months since she has had any contact with her husband. Today he was finally coming home. Alma thinks it would be naïve of her to think things would be okay. Him being home would solve anything that has happened. It wouldn't change anything that has happened.

Alma is understandably nervous. She thinks this is the first time she has been this nervous to ever be around Jax. She is more nervous than when she had to tell him that she was pregnant.

She also doesn't know where his head is going to be, which worries her. They had to handle the grief of losing a child on their own. Jax wasn't even there to hold their son or to say his goodbyes. She is scared that Jax may resent her for the loss.

Days have gotten easier. It is still hard, but she had Nathan and Kaylee to help her get through all of it. She still wasn't over it, but they helped her through the grieving process. Jax was alone and with his thoughts. He had no one to share his grief with. Not even one letter was shared between the two of them.

"Sweetheart, you are going to get premature wrinkles." Gemma says as she walks up next to her. They are under the awning as they wait for the guys to pull up. "Stop worrying. He is coming home and everything will work itself out."

Alma is only able to give her a closed lipped smile. After all, she knows Gemma has been more privy to things regarding Jax's case. She thinks that is the only reason why Gemma has been so calm these past two months. Alma thinks she would be calm too knowing that despite the absence the Feds had kept him in protective custody. It's just Jax is coming home to a family that is grieving – to a wife that had lost their child.

"I'm just…I just want him to be okay." Alma tells her mother in law.

Gemma wraps her arms around her shoulders. "He will be. He is coming home to his family. I'm not saying it will be easy, but things will be okay. It'll take some time."

Alma nods her head. She knows this. She knows there will be an adjustment period.

Soon they hear the growls of bikes approaching. Nathan and Kaylee replace Gemma's presence. Kaylee's fists scrunch the edge of her dress. Kaylee's hair is done in elaborate space buns with a bright pink floral dress and glittery pink sandals. Alma forms a smile at the thought of Jax's reaction to the explosion of pink. "You nervous, baby?" Alma asks.

Kaylee looks up at her mother. A shy smile is on her lips. This is the first time Kaylee has ever witnessed a prolonged absence of Jax that didn't last longer than two weeks. Even then Jax made sure to call.

"Daddy is going to be really happy to see you. He missed you a lot."

"He missed me lots?"

Alma smiles. "Lots."

"Mom, I see them!" Nathan shouts from where he is standing in the middle of the lot before rushing back to her side.

The family watches as the growls of the bike become louder. Clay is in front of the line and Jax is right there behind him. He doesn't follow the rest of the procession to their designated spots. He stops in front of the awning.

He barely has time to take off his helmet before the kids are all over him.

"Daddy, I missed you so much!" Nathan and Kaylee both exclaimed. Jax hugs them both tightly. He doesn't let go for what seems like a minute. The kids don't seem eager to let him go either.

Jax pulls back and smiles. "You two need to stop growing up." He tells them both. "Let me say hi to your mom okay."

The kids nod as he stands up to his full height.

Alma takes a deep breath.

Her husband is here and in front of her. She thinks her legs might buckle. He is there smiling at her and he is alive. The only remarkable difference is his hair that brushes atop of his shoulders.

She notices his eyes linger on her stomach and she can see the tension in his neck before he meets her eyes.

They both step towards each other at the same time. She hugs him first, her arms circling around his neck tightly. His arms wrap around her waist and she can feel him lift her up off the ground a few inches. She can feel the tears building.

She feels him exhale and it seems some tension leaves his body before she feels his hands tangle in her hair. He pulls her head back and she finds a burning kiss pressed to her lips. It's all tongue and even the clashing of teeth as they become consumed by each other.

"Jax –" Alma whispers brokenly.

He presses a softer kiss to her lips that silences any words that were going to come out of her mouth. He drops her back down lightly to her feet and another kiss is pressed to her forehead.

He steps away from her and greets his mother.

.

.

There is something off with her husband.

The smile on his face seems genuine, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Ever interaction between them from his hands tracing her curves and the kisses pressed to her head felt empty.

Alma isn't sure what to do. She is hoping it is just him needing to adjust. It has only been a few hours since his release and he is being tossed around like a newborn baby. It's probably a shock to his system to have to put on a front. After all, these men know what is like being stuck in prison and despite the mental trauma; they still think they can bury it inside a woman's pussy. She knows that all the men expect her to give Jax a very welcome home.

She would be more than happy if she could feel she recognized her husband a bit. She could be overthinking as well. They are in public and if anything it isn't a crime to ignore pressing matters for a bit. She just needs to revel in the fact her husband is home and her kids are happy.

With a new beer for her husband, the bottle is rapidly sweating in her hand as she reaches him. He is sitting back in the old worn out plaid couch with Chibs and Bobby hovering. The other hang arounds make a path for her, but Jax stands up before she is even halfway.

He takes a beer from her hands and leads her over to where his father's bike is. Her stomach forms butterflies if Jax really thinks he is going to take her back to a dorm to fuck her. It is not like she is above a clubhouse hookup, but she isn't sure she is up for one now. But he stops in front of the bike. He places his beer on the top of the memorial.

He isn't looking at her. He is looking past her. "You should take the kids home before Tig scars them."

Alma's brows furrow. That was the last thing she expected. "I mean…are you sure. Are…you going to follow?"

Jax's hands find home on his hips. "I'm gonna stay a bit."

Alma feels her heart against her rib cage. The twisting in her gut makes her want to vomit. A thousand thoughts are running through her mind and none of them are flattering to her husband or what he may be implying. She feels guilty for the thoughts of accusations sprouting in her mind. She wonders if Jax is deliberating ignoring how his words are coming across or maybe he simply doesn't care.

She licks her lips and tastes the salt from the tequila shots Luann had somehow convinced her to take. "Jax…"

"It's going to be a late night, Al. Don't wait up alright."

Alma is flabbergasted as Jax doesn't even let her reply as he walks away. He doesn't allow any type of resistance as by the time her feet are able to follow his path, he is already putting the kids in her car.

.

.

.

Two months he had to wait for this day. Two fucking months. He is surprised the club didn't handle it as soon as they discovered the truth. Yes, there was a witness to the murder of Hefner. Jax didn't inquire how they handled the young 17 year old apparent mistress. It wasn't his concern. However, the RICO case only had its roots because Kyle Hobart had ratted.

He got caught in some stolen vehicle parts scheme and once the police saw his priors and connections to the club, the Feds swooped down. Kyle only cared about saving his own ass.

Jax throws back a shot. He just pressed a swift kiss to Alma's cheek and to his own mothers as they left the clubhouse party. He is ready to handle this piece of business.

"You ready to handle this?" Clay asks him.

Jax nods his head. "Been ready for two months."

"He's at the cabin. Happy is already out there with the Prospect. I'll have Tig follow ya up."

Jax shakes his head. "Nah, you don't need to drag Tig away from the pussy buffet. I'll keep the Prospect and send Happy back down."

Clay eyes him behind his sunglasses, but doesn't voice an opposition. "I'm glad you're home son. The sooner you do this, the sooner you get home to Alma and the kids."

Jax nods his head and embraces Clay in a hug before he leaves.

.

.

.

Jax makes it to the cabin close to 11. He finds Half Sack keeping watch out front.

"Welcome home, Jax," Half Sack greets as he makes his way to the steps.

Jax nods his head as he enters the cabin. Happy is cleaning his gun and Kyle is tied up in a chair. He watches as the man's blue eyes widen at the sight of him.

Now, the club wasn't stupid. They didn't keep Kyle for the whole two months. Happy did keep surveillance on Kyle up until two days ago when Stahl had exhausted her resources in keeping him safe. Happy had swooped in and brought Kyle here.

Jax's nostrils flare at the man tied up. He just wants to put a bullet in the man's head. He just knows that it would be too easy. He wouldn't get the right satisfaction. Besides, in the end, he only has requested one thing to do tonight. He will let Happy have his fun. After all, he has a wife to get home too.

Jax takes off Kyle's gag.

"Hey, Jax…" Kyle says hesitantly.

Jax ignores him as he grabs two items from the table. "Knife or fire?"

"Jax. Please, I'm sorry."

"Answer me."

"Fire." Kyle mutters weakly.

Jax nods at Happy. Happy gets up from his chair as he grips Kyle's hands and links him to the hook happy probably installed just for this. Jax turns on the blowtorch as Kyle hangs from the hook like a piece of meat.

Jax doesn't know if it is just mean or mercy when Happy splashes the man's back with gasoline.

Kyle passes out in the first minute. Happy slaps him awake repeatedly through the whole process. Jax takes a break after 45 minutes. Half Sack is in the background lighting candles and opening windows. Kyle convulses on the hook from pain while Happy sharpens his knife.

"I feel killing him is too easy, Hap." Jax says breaking the silence.

This man broke their golden rule. It was bad enough he got Opie in prison, but then he tried to add more years to that sentence and have Jax rotting in jail too. And not only just him, Kyle could've taken down the whole club. Kyle made him miss the birth and death of his second son. And Jax blames Kyle for Alma having the miscarriage in the first place.

"Don't worry, VP. It won't be quick enough." Happy promises.

Jax nods his head. He walks over Kyle and quick his prone form. His face pinches in disgust at the slobber escaping from the man's mouth. He slaps him awake.

Kyle groans and whimpers in pain.

"Prepare to meet the Reaper."

That brings Kyle into full consciousness as he begins to struggle in his binds. Jax brings out his gun and for some catharsis, he shoots the man in the jaw. I think Happy won't have to hear him scream, but Happy probably gets off on it.

Jax sighs and makes his way to the door. "I'll have Alma make you some Masitas and Bunuelos," he promises Happy on his way out the door.

.

.

It took a while to get the kids settled down from their disappointment of Jax not putting them to bed, but somehow Alma was able to do it. She had been able to dodge questions of where their father was at. She soothed their worries about what him not being there could mean and she did the one thing she swore she would never do and promised that their dad would be there in the morning. She wasn't even sure he would be. Her mind didn't want to venture too far into where Jax was sleeping tonight.

She had treated herself to a nice relaxing bath and she had let the disappointment settle in her bones when it was nearly midnight and Jax still wasn't home. She decided for just this night she would live in denial and pretend things were fine. Things were normal.

She knows she hasn't been asleep for long when she feels warm insistent hands tugging at the lacy fabric underneath her nightgown. At first she tries to slap the hands away before her groggy mind catches up to what is happening.

"Jax?" She whispers as she blinks the sleep out of her eyes.

"Hey, darlin'" he responds as she finds his lips molding against her.

She is taken back and her mind can't really enjoy the comfort of it as he pushes her back into the mattress. She wants to get lost in this feeling – in him. Her body wants to. She is already sensitive enough as he grinds against her and the friction of his hands over her silk dress has her breasts aching for more.

She can feel how much he wants it and as her legs move to accommodate him better, she finds no barriers between them on his end.

She whines as she feels him tearing her underwear. He knows she hates it when he does that. She can feel him smirking against her lips as he ruts against her. Her hands reach up to his hair to pull on it in retaliation when she is taken back at their dampness. She pulls back from his kiss, which only makes him move to her jaw and neck. She cranes her head to look at the clock, which reads 4 AM.

She is not worried about the shower per say. She is worried about why he is home so late.

Jax goes to meet her lips again and she can feel his fingers between her legs. She closes them the best she can and pushes him back, "Stop."

Jax pulls back immediately. "What's wrong?"

Alma huffs and she sort of regrets stopping now, but the words are out. "Where have you been?"

Jax is silent and he leans back away from her. "Does it matter? I'm here now."

Alma swallows the lump in her throat. This isn't her husband. "The…the kids were upset you weren't here, Jax."

"Well I had some things to take care of." He retorts as he moves off the bed.

"Like what?" Alma presses.

Jax doesn't say anything as he gets off the bed and ruffles through some drawers before finding some basketball shirts. "You know…all I wanted was to come home and fuck my wife."

Alma sucks in a breath. Her cheeks and eyes burn from his words. "Fuck you, Jax. All I am asking is a simple question. Fuck a croweater for all I care."

"I was handling Kyle." Jax tells her darkly. "For ratting and for Ben."

Benjamin Luis Teller

That was the name she decided for their son. The name of her grandfather on her father's side.

Alma looks at her husband and doesn't know what to say.

"I could've killed Stahl that day when she told me what happened." Jax reveals to her. "I wasn't there for you. I wasn't there for our son."

"Jax – "

He shakes his head. "I'm tired."

He climbs into bed and he keeps his back to her.

.

.

.

Alma isn't sure if she really fell asleep. One minute it was dark and the next her eyes were blinking to the morning sun. She leans up on the bed and turns to look behind where Jax is still sleeping. His back isn't towards her anymore. He has moved to his back. The duvet is pooled down to his hips and his left arm is thrown across his chest.

Alma isn't sure how she should take what happened between them last night. They had their tiffs before, silly fights that never really mounted to nothing and would end up with them laughing at the stupidity of it all. Last night was different. It was colder than before.

Alma moves from the bed as she grabs her robe to cover her nightgown. She doesn't want to linger in her bedroom for too long considering it feels like a stranger is in her bed.

She leaves the bedroom and makes her way to the kitchen to begin prepping for breakfast. She jumps startled at the sight of her son up drinking a glass of orange juice. A sheepish look on his face and a pain shoots through her heart as Nathan looks like his father in that moment. If she had a photo album she can find the exact photo of a young Jax wearing the same look.

She folds her arms across her chest. "What are you doing up this early?"

"Couldn't sleep," Nathan replies as he shrugs his shoulders.

Alma raises a skeptical brow, but she doesn't press her son. She walks further into the kitchen as she wraps her arms around his shoulder. She presses a kiss to the blonde hair he is trying to grow out to match his father's.

She holds her son close. He is her first baby and he is growing up so fast. She feels if she clings to him, she might be able to find that piece of Jax she is missing.

Since the loss of Ben or even the moment of Jax being arrested at their front door, Alma is scared for the future.

"You want to help with breakfast?"

Nathan nods his head.

Alma smiles and presses another kiss to his head.

.

.

He heard the footsteps before they even reached the door. He feigned sleep as the door creaks open before tiny footsteps made their way to the bed. He fought to keep a blank look on his face as he felt the mattress dip. The struggle on the bed was heard from grunts before a silence took over the bedroom.

Jax waits as he can feel the shadow looming over him.

He waits a few seconds before he strikes.

He opens his eyes, "Got you!"

His little girl screams in fright before erupting in giggles as he grabs her and begins tickling her.

Kaylee's cheeks turn red like cherries as her laughter fills the room.

"Daddy! Stop!" She gulps. "I am going to pee!" She warns.

Jax halts and looks at her with raised eyebrows. "We'll we can't have that now can we?"

Jax brings her into his lap and he holds her close.

He was denied holding his baby girl for two months. He doesn't want to let her go. Kaylee wraps her arms around his broad shoulders. He finds a wet kiss applied to his cheek. "I missed you, Daddy."

"I missed you too, Baby Girl." He pressed a kiss to her soft curly brown hair. "What you doing up this early anyways?"?"

"Mama made breakfast. We gotta go!" She exclaimed. "Nathan is going to eat all the French Toast!" Kaylee wiggled out of his hold and down from the bed as she ran to the kitchen.

Jax smiles before he collapses back on the bed. He knows he has some major groveling to do to Alma. Last night his behavior was uncalled for. He knows these couple of months hasn't been easy on her. It hasn't been easy on their marriage. Jax sits up and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. He stretches and groans from his bones cracking. He makes a detour to the bathroom before beginning his trek down the hallway.

Jax has to get familiar with the new house since he was arrested on moving day. For now, he looks at the massive display of family photos. However, his eyes pause over the smallest photo on the wall, which is of Ben's last sonogram when he had a beating heart.

.

.

Alma knows the kids were only somewhat behaved for breakfast because Jax was at the table. She didn't mind it. She was happy that they were a family again. She had been prepared for an awkward silence, but Kaylee could not stop talking. She even went on to inform Jax of her various bowel movements the past couple weeks.

Alma knows the kids are even more excited by the fact Jax will be home all day. Her babies are happy so that is all that matters to Alma at the moment.

She is drying all of their dishes for breakfast when she hears footsteps. Too heavy to be one of the kids, she turns to find Jax leaning against a counter.

"I noticed an extra bedroom has more nail stuff."

Alma furrows her brows. She dries her hands. She always had nail supplies on hand. She never thought Jax paid attention to the things she would buy pertaining to nails. However, a month ago, she had invested in new supplies. More salon approved materials to appear more professional. It did cost a pretty penny, but she has been getting more business.

"I've been doing more nails. Needed more things." She tells him.

Jax doesn't say anything for a couple seconds and the silence unnerves her more than his eyes burning into. "We having money problems?"

That question takes her back. Even with Jax away, he still gets his cut from the club. Usually they would hold it until his release and the only funds given would be for bills and change for other things. It seems from the start the club didn't trust old ladies to be wise with money.

However, Jax always let Alma in on how to wash, save, and spend money. Sure, Jax loved to splurge and spoil occasionally, but he was conscious. He was safe as if something happened the Feds could claim any assets of theirs being from dirty money.

Since Jax got locked up, Bobby had given her full access to Jax's cut per Jax's request. She knows she and Jax were not going to be hurting for money unless something drastic happened. Even then, Jax had made sure their kids would never have to struggle.

"No…no. Why would you think that?"

"It's practically a salon in there," Jax replies. "It's always been a hobby for you. That looks like a business."

Alma is confused. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"You don't need to work."

"I know that, but – "

"No, buts. You don't need to work. You don't need to be bringing in your nosey clients inside our house near our kids. You should be raising our kids, not focusing on a hobby."

Alma opens, but closes her mouth as she isn't sure how to respond to that. She thinks any response is caught in the hurt from Jax's words. Not once or ever has Jax spoken that way about her doing nails. He had always been supportive that this was something she needed for herself.

She doesn't understand where this is coming from, or why he is being so cruel.

She decides it's better not to even respond to him. She turns her back as she continues to dry the dishes.

She uses the towel to wipe her damp cheeks.

.

.

Gemma knows something is up. She knew the minute Jax and Alma walked through the doors. It's only been a week since Jax came home and she can see the small tears working their way between the couple – the family.

She knows Jax coming home wasn't going to be easy. Not after the loss of Ben, she knows her son is probably blaming himself and most likely that pain is probably being lashed out on Alma.

Gemma knows that is a result of Clay's parenting. She wishes Jax would've picked up the urge to write things in a journal like John. Gemma knows her family can work through this. She knows from experience.

Her main concern is Alma. She knows Alma is putting all her happiness onto the fact the kids are happy with their father being home.

If anything she knows Alma is taking the cold glares and tones from Jax until he can adjust back to being with her. Well, she thinks that. Sometimes, she isn't too sure of Alma's thought processes. She was only a kid when Jax knocked her up and she was a bride by 18.

Lord, if anything it reminds Gemma of the beginnings of her and John's relationship. She knows when she was about to be 25 she had hit a funk that Alma was probably toeing into. She wanted to be more than a mother and wife.

Then again to be 25 and to lose a child…Gemma's heart aches at the thought of Thomas and her grandson, Ben. Alma has been through so much in this life and she is scared that the way her son is acting will unravel everything.

Knowing her son, she knows that he will come to regret this behavior, but a woman can only take so much.

Gemma presses her lips into a flat line as she approaches her daughter in law.

Alma seems to be growing her hair out from the short bob she had seemed to keep since the birth of Kaylee. Her light brown hair was now reaching past her shoulders. She had a braided crown for the shorter pieces of hair that framed her face and she was wearing an off white floral sundress. Of course, Kaylee was wearing a matching hairstyle with white floral shorts to match the style of her mother.

Alma has been quiet throughout the day. She of course has been doting on her kids, participating in the conversations floating around her, and even tending to Jax with trips bringing him new beers and whatever he seemed to request.

It was just there was no affection between the two. She is used to Jax never being able to keep his eyes, lips, and hands off any body part of Alma's. Her giving him a beer would be rewarded with a kiss to a hand or a hand squeezing a hip. Jax was giving Alma none of that and Alma wasn't showing any affection for her husband. She barely managed to give a closed lipped smile.

Gemma doesn't like seeing her family like this.

"Alma, come with me for a sec?" She whispers.

Alma doesn't resist. Doesn't say anything as she follows her in the garden house and Gemma is worried. She closes the door to give them some privacy.

"What's going on between you and Jax?" Gemma asks.

Alma shrugs her shoulders. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Gemma echoes.

Alma says nothing as she looks past Gemma and at one of her plants.

"Alma…you know if you need someone to talk to…"

"About what?"

Gemma purses her lips. "How about I take the kids tonight?"

Alma folds her arms across her chest. "If you want too. The kids always love spending time with their grandmother."

"Alma…"

"Mommy!"

Alma jumps slightly at the sound of Kaylee's voice. She opens the door and leaves Gemma feeling scared for her family.

.

Dinner is more subdued. Jax is interacting with his brothers and tending to his kids. Alma is solely focused on Kaylee not getting her spaghetti all over her clothes. Not once has Gemma seen Alma and Jax exchange words outside of asking each other to pass something along.

Watching the bodily language, Alma is definitely more submissive than she ever recalls the young woman being. It isn't until Gemma is in her greenhouse smoking a cigarette that she is able to speak to her son. He comes in with his own cigarette already lit.

"Thanks for dinner, Ma."

"Anything for my family." Gemma replies as she sucks on her cigarette. "Happy to have you home."

"It's good to be home." Jax replies with a smile.

"Speaking of which, I was thinking of keeping the kids tonight. Give you and Alma some alone time."

Jax tenses. "Alma and I are fine, Ma."

"I never said you weren't."

Jax doesn't reply. Gemma doesn't add anything else as she finishes her cigarette. She suspects what is eating her son up.

"Have you gone to see him yet?"

Jax doesn't respond.

"You're his father. You need to see him."

"It's not going to change anything." Jax mumbles. "It's not going to fix anything."

"Avoiding it is going to make it worse, Jax. Let yourself feel that pain. Share that pain with Alma." Gemma advises her son. She knows this from experience.

"I wouldn't be in this petition if it wasn't for her." Jax snaps at the mention of Alma.

She feels the sting of her palm before she realizes what she has done. Her son clenches his jaw as the imprint of her hand on his cheek begins more prominent. She doesn't know if she wants to shake him or slap him some more. But there has never been a time where she was disappointed and ashamed of her son.

"Your father would be ashamed of you."

.

.

.

"You're not coming to the party?"

Alma jumps slightly at the sound of her husband's voice. She almost drops her grip on the basket of snacks she planned to take outside. The kids had wanted to do a camping trip in their backyard. They had been planning it for the last two weeks. In fact, this morning Kaylee had told Jax of their plans for this particular Friday evening.

It was clear Jax was not listening to Kaylee this morning. In fact, she thinks Jax was not listening much to anything pertaining to the family since the family dinner. She didn't push or prod Jax. She wouldn't be able to anyways as Jax had been keeping his distance it seemed. It was very cold in their bedroom. She wasn't sure how to break the ice.

A part of her wasn't wanting to break the ice.

She shakes her head. "The kids are having their camping trip. We've been planning it for two weeks."

"You haven't been to a party since I've been out."

"Who's going to watch the kids, Jax?" She asks him simply.

"My mother." He answers.

And for the first time in forever, Alma feels self-conscious in front of Jax in her loose sweats, white t-shirt, and oversized cardigan. Her hair is in a single plait and with no makeup on; she can feel Jax scrutinizing her appearance.

"Do you want me to go?"

"It's fine," he answers gruffly.

Alma smiles stiffly as she begins to make her way back to the kids. They need to work on building their fire with the wood Half Sack had graciously chopped for them.

"We cool?"

The sound of Jax's voice stops her as she turns to look at him.

Her grip of her basket of snacks tightens. "You tell me?"

He doesn't answer.

.

.

Jax is honestly bored. He really wasn't in the mood for a clubhouse party. He wasn't particularly keen on watching Bobby going down on two croweaters on a pool table. He also wasn't keen on going home either. He knows that is his own fault if anything. He is the one that is having a hard time with his head and heart seeing straight. He just feels so damn guilty. It is his fault that he had Alma experiencing so much stress in the first place. He doesn't really blame her for the loss of their son. He knows painful shit like this happens. He knows she is the easiest target to take his anger out on. Kyle is dead and it wouldn't be smart killing Stahl.

He just doesn't know how to handle this pain. He doesn't understand how his mom and dad got over losing Thomas. Worse, he never got to hold or meet his son. Thinking about his family - his wife - it is just too painful.

Too painful in fact that he doesn't register the strong scent of a floral perfume burning his nostrils, lips ghosting over his skin, and a hand rubbing over his denim. He isn't paying attention to any of that as his attention is soon taken by a BMW rolling onto their lot followed by a few black Chevy trucks. A man in a suit exits the BMW, but his lackies wearing button ups and clean shaven heads are a stark contrast. Jax can tell they are skinheads.

Jax detangles himself from the croweater as he stands next to Clay. The rest of the guys flanking them.

Clay lights a cigar. "What the hell is this? Garage is closed."

The man in the suit only smirks. "We're not here for, uh, car repairs. I understand you're a Camacho fan." The salt and pepper man says as he hands over a box of cigars to Clay.

Clay isn't impressed. "Who are you?"

The man next to him with a red tattoo on his neck speaks. "Just dropping by to give you a little friendly advice."

Jax rolls his eyes. "And what advice would that be?"

The suit looks between Jax and Clay. "We feel it would be best for all concerned if you stop dealing arms to the One Niners and the Mayans."

The club snorts and begins to laugh. A wide smile adorns Clay's face. "I don't even know what you're talking about. We're just mechanics and Harley lovers."

Tig standing on the other side of Clay adds. "That's one of Darby's guys back there."

"Mr. Darby is one of our supporters." The man confirms.

Clay's eyes narrow. "Mm. Expensive car. Hell of a suit. All your teeth. Must be the top of the Aryan food chain, huh?"

"What you do for a living is between you and your maker. I'm not here to adjust your moral compass. This is just a reality check. You're a criminal and you're done selling guns to color." Tig cocks his gun and the suit stops speaking and looks at him boredly. "Are you gonna shoot me, Mr. Trager? With all these witnesses?"

Clay answers. "Look, uh, I don't know what Darby told you and, uh, I don't know what your angle is, but let me be real clear. Nobody threatens SAMCRO. And nobody tells us what we can and can't do. Black, brown or white. So, why don't you just climb back into your little German clown car and drive back to Nazi town? 'Cause the next time you piss all over my shoes, he will kill you. I don't give a shit how many witnesses there are."

The man holds out a business card. Clay doesn't move to take it so Jax does and he reads the name Ethan Zobelle. He owns a cigar shop.

"My shop opens in a few weeks. Until then... enjoy." The club watches as the men go back in their cars and drive away.

.

.

It was expected for Kaylee to be the first one to be consumed with sleep. Alma has always been grateful that her little girl could find sleep easily. She knows it used to scare Jax how quick their daughter found sleep and would stay asleep. Nathan is still up, however. She knows reading him a story won't put him down quickly and after having another midnight snack, Alma suspects her boy is staying up to simply keep her company.

It makes her sad and worried that her son can be so perspective. Then again not a lot of families go through prison sentences and the death of family members. Her son has to grow up fast in this life. It makes her feel like a failure of a mother that she can't protect his innocence.

"Mom, are you and dad happy?" Her son is laying down with his head in her lap. He is bundled up in his sleeping bag. She runs her fingers through his hair like she does with Jax some nights. Right now, she is grateful that the darkness of the night can hide her face. She is not exactly sure how to answer that.

Right now, she isn't happy per say, but overall she is happy to a point. She is clinging to the fact whatever is happening between her and Jax is just a rough point. All relationships go through them, but her child shouldn't be asking this. She doesn't even want her children to even have to question this.

"You and Kaylee make us very happy." She replies as she softly flicks his nose.

Nathan smiles before his face turns serious. "I know that, but are you and dad happy together?"

Alma is quiet, but she pulls Nathan closer and cradles him as if he was a baby again. He lets her and she inhales the scent of wood and smoke that is clinging to him. "I love your father. I will always love your father. Right now, i don't think we're happy, but i am happy with him."

"Are you sad because of Ben?"

"I think Daddy is sad that he couldn't be here with us. He wanted to be here, but he couldn't." She presses a kiss to Nathan's forehead. "No matter what we love you and your sister very much."

"I just want you and dad to be happy again." Nathan mumbles.

"We will be." She promises.

.

.

Alma can't sleep. She tries to bury herself in the blankets and covers she has brought outside in the tent she shares with her kids. Sleep evades her. Not wanting to wake the kids, she leaves the tent and decides to do some housekeeping. She begins by throwing away wrappers and grabbing plates and silverware to wash.

She notices Jax never made it back home. She ignores how the clock reads 3AM. She decides to prep for breakfast to at least make that easier for her. After cutting up some fruit, she thinks a shower will do her some good to maybe help her relax.

She is too lost in her thoughts to hear the sound of the motorcycle or the front door opening. She has just stripped down to her bra and underwear when hands latch onto her hips. A squeal escapes her lips while a giggle and a hand covers her mouth.

"Shh… it's just me."

Alma moves the hand off her mouth and she turns to pull away from Jax, but his grip is tight. "What is wrong with you?"

His pupils are dilated and he reeks of alcohol. "Shh…" He tells her as he trips to connect their lips, but she pushes him back. She startles them both and Jax ends up falling backwards onto the armchair in their room. He pulls Alma to settle into his lap.

"Jax…" Alma whines.

"Come on, babe, I miss you." He whispers as he presses heated kisses to her neck, jaw, and collarbone.

"You're drunk." She points out. She is considered how he even managed to get on his bike and make his way home.

"So even when i'm sober I still want to fuck you."

She isn't able to respond as his hand forms a fist with her hair and he pulls her head towards him. Their lips meet in a searing kiss. She can taste the weed, beer, whiskey, and nicotine against his lips. She almost allows herself to get lost in the kiss, but a strong piercing fruity scent irritates her nose. It's not his cologne and it most certainly isn't' hers.

She pulls away from the kiss and her eyes burn and she can feel a tightness in her chest and throat. Jax is oblivious as he paws at her panties. She is barely participating as he places kiss after kiss across her skin. She doesn't stop him from pulling the cups of her bra down as he pays attention to her breasts.

Her mind is hazy as she clutches onto him. His face pressed into her chest. She won't allow him to kiss her again. She grips his hair tightly as he doesn't bother removing her underwear and pushes it to the side. She's not fully prepared for him as he slides into her.

He groans from the connection and Alma remains quiet. She tentally moves her hips and she feels Jax twitch inside her. She's breathing heavy as she sits up. She pushes Jax back firmly against the chair. She begins slow languid movements back and forth. Jax's hands are on her hips and he helps guide the movements until her muscles clenching around him make them become lax.

Her eyes don't leave her husband's frame despite how much she can't bare the thought of him fucking another woman hours before her. She grinds against him. Her thighs are trembling from the effort and her stomach trembling as she can feel Jax deep in her belly.

"Fuck, Al…" Jax moans as she clenches around him when a move stimulates her clit. Jax sits up startling her and he latches on to one of her nipples and sucks hard. She cries out from the move. Jax takes control and he begins thrusting up deep and fast.

Alma wraps her arms across his shoulders for some leverage against his deep thrusts. She grips his hair tightly as she moves against him. She can feel the mess she is making between them. The sounds between them filling their room.

It hits her abruptly and she freezes and trembles above him. Jax gives a few more sloppy thrusts before he releases inside her.

Alma is breathing heavily against him and for the first time she feels disgusted with herself. She knows that she shouldn't have done this. Worse, she knows that she should have confronted him about him coming home late and smelling another woman on him.

Instead, she pulls away from her husband and ignores him dripping down her thighs and gets into the shower.

He follows her a couple minutes later. There is no conversation as they wash themselves. She finishes showering first and leaves Jax alone.

It isn't until she puts on some sweats and an oversize shirt to go back out to the tent with the kids that she thinks she hates Jax at the moment.

.

Alma isn't sure when she fell asleep. Her body is stiff when she feels someone shaking her. She groans when her body is shaken again.

"Alma, you need to wake up."

Alma opens her eyes at the sound of Jax's voice. It's strained and he looks scared. "What's going on?"

Jax runs his hands through his hair. "It's my mom. She was in a car accident."

.

Alma knows something is off. They had spent three hours at the hospital waiting on news regarding Gemma's accident. Unser had been the one to take Gemma there. The kids were anxious about the news about their grandmother.

When they were finally able to see Gemma, the kids had immediately comforted their grandmother. Kaylee had broken down though at the sight of the bruises and cuts on their grandmother. Gemma despite the pain she was feeling was able to comfort her granddaughter. Alma wasn't surprised when Gemma asked to spend the day with them.

Alma keeps her distance. She cleans the house while the kids are distracted. It isn't until she starts working on dinner that Gemma is able to extract herself from the kids.

"What do you plan on making?" Gemma asks her.

"Pasta, garlic bread, and a salad unless you want something different." Alma tells her.

"This is fine." Gemma tells her. The matriarch begins digging out the material to make the salad.

"Gem, you can sit in the kitchen and relax. You don't need to do anything." Alma says after watching Gemma wince.

"I need to do this. Need something to keep me occupied." Gemma answers as she brings things to the breakfast bar. "You weren't at the clubhouse last night."

"The kids wanted a camping trip. Besides, there will be more clubhouse parties."

Gemma hums as she begins cutting up the block of cheese. Alma licks her lips as she tries to figure out where Gemma's headspace is at. "You want to tell me what happened?"

"Too much drink and bud. Just had a mortal jolt." Gemma explains.

Alma doesn't believe her for a second. She knows that if Gemma didn't feel capable of driving she would have stayed at the clubhouse. Gemma isn't telling her something. "Gem…"

"I'm fine, sweetheart," Gemma brushes off. "Things okay between you and Jax?"

"If you even have to ask you have your answer." Alma replies.

"I'm not going to make excuses for my son, but i don't want either of you to get hurt. I don't want my grandbabies to get hurt. You and Jax...it would break my heart for you two hate each other and not find your way back to each other."

"We'll always be a family, Gemma, no matter what is going on between Jax and I."

"He's gonna need you. He'll always need you. Don't forget that."

.

.

It was a long day and Jax exhales a deep breath as he walks into his house. He couldn't wait to be home after dealing with Luann's porn problem, which now gave him the idea of being partners with her, and the fact the Mayans had jumped them at a Niner's deal and managed to shoot Bobby. However, none of that compared to the fact his mother was in a fucking car accident. Jax would usually find his way upstairs to check on the kids, but his feet take him to the kitchen. He finds a plate already set out for him. His stomach growls at the sight of the fettuccine alfredo, salad, and breadsticks. His eyes scan for Alma, but he doesn't feel her presence anywhere. He stuffs his mouth with breadsticks and walks into the living room. No one is in there and only one lamp is on. He scans the place until he looks outside to find the sight of glowing amber.

He walks over and opens the door that leads to their patio. He finds his mom wrapped up in a blanket smoking a cigarette.

"What are you doing out here?" He asks his mother. Him and his mom haven't exactly spoken since she slapped him in her kitchen. He knows if his mom knew what happened at the clubhouse party he might receive another slap.

"Couldn't sleep." She tells him as she flicks her cigarette. "You're home late."

"Niners crashed our meet with the Mayan." He tells her.

"Shit. Anyone hurt?"

"Bobby got clipped in the shoulder. Nothing we couldn't handle." He informs her as he joins her on the bench.

"Should we be worried?"

Jax shrugs his shoulders. Honestly, he doesn't know. He just can't stand being in the middle of a beef the club has no interest in. After all, selling guns is just business. Who the Mayans and Niners decide to shoot is none of his concern. He doesn't even know what the hell they even did besides breathing to piss off the Mayans.

"We'll be fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just had a mortal jolt. I'll be alright." Gemma assures him. She pats his legs. "Go finish your dinner. Alma should be Italian with how much she makes pasta."

Jax frowns at the mention of his wife. He has been treating her like shit and he doesn't know how to mend the gap between them. "Ma…"

Gemma looks at him with her knowing brown eyes. "It takes time, baby. You'll both get there."

Jax nods his head. "Clay know you're here?"

"Yeah, I sent him a text a while ago."

Jax nods his head and stands up. He plants a kiss on the side of her head. "I love you, Ma."

"I love you, too."

.

.

Alma loves Luann. She truly does, but she can only handle her in small doses. Luann just always seems to be hopped up on uppers. Alma makes sure to have her lavender aroma lamp setting on high with the former porn star coming in for her biweekly nail appointment.

Alma listens as Luann struggles with the 15 year separation between her and Otto. Alma thinks she is the only person Luann really opens up to about that particular issue. Alma's own heart clenches as she knows one day it could be her in both Luann's and Donna's spot.

Worse, she is not sure how Luann can handle the 15 year absence of intimacy. She has suspicions that Luann is discreet about her flings, but she can't imagine having to live with the fact she has to find a replacement for her husband. The thought that burns the most is the fact becoming old ladies that have to accept the prison sentences. They have to be prepared to be a prison widow.

As she applies the gel coating over Luann's nails, the former porn star complains about some of the diva attitudes they have and now it is getting worse with that attention of the club men.

That causes Alma's eyebrow to raise. "What do you mean?"

She can tell Luann knows she spoke too much, but now she can't take the words back. "The club and I are partners now. Jax was the one to bring it to the table."

"Hmmm."

Luann doesn't say anything which makes it all worse. The silence regarding that one thing is more embarrassing than anything. She wonders what Luann has witnessed and the fact Jax doesn't care about the humiliation of his acts that bear witnesses.

"Does Otto know?"

"I told him. I think it is hard for him to not be here to support me. All of this…" Luann trails off. "I try not to complain, but this was one thing that I owned. I…" Luann stops again.

Alma gives Luann a couple minutes to compose herself. "If you want. I can hire you to do the nails. Give you the extra income."

"I'm sure that needs to be a club vote." Alma says.

"No, this isn't club business."

Alma gives Luann a real genuine smile. "Thank you."

"Us women need to stick together." Luann tells her firmly. "I'll drop by the official paperwork. It might be good to think of a business name as well. I'll try and network for you as much as I can."

.

.

When Luann leaves and she begins cleaning up. The news of Jax being Larry Flynt stews. She doesn't mind it and she knows that even if she did, she has no say in club business. She trusted Jax. Now, it seemed it was a big secret and she was the last one to find out.

It hurts that everyone else can see the cracks in her marriage too. She doesn't know what to do. The worst thing is she can hear her mom telling her "i told you so".

For now, she is going to try to focus on her daughter's upcoming birthday party. It is better than to think about the women keeping her husband company. It makes her not want to even attend any function and be exposed to the whispers. She won't cry though. She won't give Jax the satisfaction. She won't give him anything.

She'll put a fake smile on her face and go about her day.

She is writing down the list of supplies she will need for Kaylee's party when the door opens. She hears the jingling of keys and her husband walks into the kitchen. She is taken back when he greets her with a kiss on the head before rummaging in the fridge.

The words slip out before she can stop them.

"You're a porn producer now?"

Jax's body tenses and he slowly turns around. He stares at her. He has to know that Luann was the one to spill the beans. "Yeah."

"And you didn't tell me because?" She presses.

Jax doesn't say anything as he presses his lips together in the thin line. He runs a hand down his face. "It's club business."

Alma scoffs. "What happened to total disclosure?"

"At my discretion. I don't need to tell you shit."

Alma stands up from the table. "Did you really just say that to me?"

"Luann is obviously putting shit in your ear. So what is it you are exactly accusing me of?"

Alma shakes her head. She can feel her body shaking. When she is angry, she is the person that cries. Also, she doesn't think she ever really recalls being this angry with her husband. She wants to kick him out of the house. She isn't going to be his emotional punching bag.

Jax stands in front of her. She is forced to look up at him. She wants to take a step back, but she stands her ground.

"What the fuck did Luann tell you?"

Alma looks down and focuses her gaze on the single bullet pendant. She takes a deep breath and looks up into Jax's blue eyes. "It's old lady business."

Jax scoffs. "You got to be fucking kidding me." He moves away from her. "I'm not dealing with this shit."

"Shocking, you're walking away." Her words make Jax freeze.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"What do you think it fucking means?" She fires back. She wants to shiver from how cold Jax is acting towards her. She is honestly trying to figure out how in the world they got to this point. Jax doesn't say anything as he stares at her with furrowed brows.

Alma licks her lips. "Maybe…" She trails off because she knows if she says it, she can't take the words back. They can't go back to how things were before.

His blue eyes are burning a hole into her, but she never gets to finish her words as Nathan comes in. Alma goes back to making her supply list for Kaylee's party. Nathan manages to drag Jax into playing basketball in the driveway.

.

.

Alma feels like an outsider. She feels like a hypocrite. Donna didn't say anything though. She didn't make any snide comment as she opened the door wider for her to come into the house. In fact, Alma had faced the cold facts that Donna is truly her only friend. Alma was shocked to see boxes piled everywhere, but she didn't say anything.

Donna didn't say anything as she made them tea knowing Alma hates coffee. Donna eventually slides a warm mug in front of her.

"Thank you."

Donna nods her head. "I'm sorry for what I said the last time we spoke."

"Don't apologize." Alma tells her.

"No, I wasn't taking in my accountability for the situation. Mine and Opie's problems are our own." Donna explains.

"You moving?"

"I'm selling this house. Downsizing. Oswald is helping me with that. Got me a deal. If I stay here, I would go into debt."

"Opie knows?"

"Helped pick out the house."

"Things are…"

"Better. Manageable." Donna finishes. "I just know being angry isn't going to help. I have to take it day by day."

"I'm glad to know you're okay. I know I wasn't that supportive." Alma admits her fault.

"I mean how can any of us be in this? You want to support the man, the club, but we can't put that before our children."

"I just don't want you to be alone in all of us." Alma tells her.

Donna gives her a sad smile. "I don't think you came here to talk about Opie and me."

"I just came to get away, honestly. Things between Jax and I haven't been smooth." Alma admits.

Donna nods. "How have you been since Ben?'

Alma chews on her bottom lip. It wasn't as if she wasn't devastated about the loss of her child. She was, but she had the support of family to get her through it. She also thinks she had accepted things like this just happened. She knows Jax never got the closure of losing their son. He wasn't there to grieve with them. He never got to hold his son for those few moments to say goodbye.

She knows that she can't put a timetable on his grief, but the way he is acting and behaving...she doesn't recognize him anymore.

"Jax won't talk to me. About anything. I mean I know that...losing a child does break marriages."

"I'm sorry, Alma. How bad is it?"

Does Alma really want to admit that her husband cheating on her is a dealbreaker when he sells guns. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad if he wasn't blatant about it. If it didn't feel like he was throwing it in her face. Alma doesn't want to admit she has turned into her mother.

"Luann offered me a job doing nails for the studio. So I got a job." Alma replies with.

Donna gives her a closed lip smile as she nods her head. "Maybe we should brainstorm on business names, yeah?"

.

.

Alma usually can ignore the sound of Jax's phone ringing, but when both kids are experiencing explosive diarrhea and throwing up, she has hit her peak. It has not been a very relaxing day especially when she had no husband to help deal with the two sick kids.

Jax groans from beside her. Alma squints as she checks on the tme and sees it is 6:30 AM.

"What Luann?" Jax asks gruffly.

She didn't even know the studio was even open that early. Luann told her that she is only needed on set every other day and not on weekends due to the kids. Today is Saturday. She can hear Luann yelling faintly. Alma squeezes her pillow tightly as Jax sits up on the bed.

Alma can't help the shiver from the cold air hitting her skin as Jax leaves the bed. He grumbles to Luann about being there in about 20 minutes before she slams the phone shut.

"Chlamydia outbreak?" Alma says into the dark of the room.

Jax snorts, but doesn't reply.

Alma leans up and turns on her lamp next to the bed. "Are you gonna come back?"

Jax looks at her confused as he buttons his jeans. "Where in the fuck am I gonna go?"

"You promised Kaylee that you were gonna take her for a ride and some ice cream."

"It's barely 7 in the morning. I have all afternoon for that."

"That's not the point, Jax." Alma snaps. "She is gonna be crushed that you aren't here when she wakes up!"

"Jesus Christ, well what do you want me to do? Ignore Luann because if you haven't forgotten, she just gave you a fucking job at the studio."

That was a sore topic between her and Jax now. Jax didn't want Alma at the studio at all, but she sure as hell wasn't letting some of the workers come into her home. Some girls were lovely like Lyla. Others she could tell were judging her. She got a lot of comments for how good she looked for being a mother. They were surprised to see she was able to keep her figure. There was a lot of judgment.

She knows Jax's concern isn't with how the women are treating her, but the fact she is probably interacting with a woman he has fucked. It's telling how he never manages to be at the studio when she's there.

She doesn't bother in replying to Jax as she turns off the light and lays back down.

She's tired.

.

.

Jax smiles as he watches Nathan's failed attempt at skipping rocks. They were at the streams for a father and son day. Jax had a break in his long days and he thought spending time with his oldest would be the best way to figure out what the fuck he was doing.

Jax knows he is hurting Alma - he is hurting their marriage.

He just doesn't understand when it got easier to not talk to his wife. He knows Alma will hit a breaking point. He just doesn't know how to find his way back to her. He doesn't know how to bring up their dead son and how it had gutted him to have to find out through Stahl their family had gone through such a tremendous loss.

It's just every day, he sees his family moving further away from him while he is stuck in his own misery. He just knows there is no coming back from the shit he has been doing. He is even more surprised Alma hasn't called him out or kicked him out of the house. Though he knows why she hasn't taken that drastic measure. He knows Alma would rather live with them being strangers than for their kids to grow up in a broken home.

"Dad, I'm shit at this." Nathan cries as a rock plummets to the bottom.

"Hey, watch your mouth," Jax scolds gently. "Your mom will have my ass hearing you talk like this."

Nathan snorts as he moves away from the stillwater. He sits down beside him and Jax swings his arm around his son and brings him in a bear hug. He knows in a few years and heck maybe a few months that Nathan won't allow this. Despite his son only being on the cups of seven, he finds that his son seems older some days.

It is even harder to believe it's been six years since the birth of his son.

He still remembers a teary eyed Alma informing him of her suspicions of a possible pregnancy. She was a kid. 16 years old crying in his dorm room. He had done that because he couldn't help himself. He was the dumb one for not wearing protection.

He still remembers their first time. Alma was dressed up in a black dress that was very inappropriate to begin with. She got stuck in Stockton at a party in a club after a fight with a boyfriend. She had called him for a ride. She failed to mention how she had managed to even get a fake ID. Not one for washing dirty laundry in front of others, he had taken her to her house and forced her to drink some water to sober up. Jax knew he couldn't judge, but it was very stupid of her to get drunk somewhere unfamiliar.

Jax knew it was bad enough that his eyes would linger on Alma's curves or what her lips would feel like, but he knew he would never act on it. But he did.

Jax was weak and he fucked her.

She got pregnant and Ana threatened to have him arrested multiple times for sleeping with her daughter. He had only recently turned 18 and she was acting like he was damn near 30 years old. He can admit Alma's pregnancy with Nathan were the best months. The intimacy between him and Alma was what he missed the most. Despite knowing each other all of their lives, they were discovering each other in different ways. He isn't going to deny that the sex was fucking phenomenal either.

Just those small moments of laying in bed and watching Nathan move inside her belly is something he wishes he could go back too. He holds his son closer. He presses a kiss to his head. "You know I miss when you were a baby."

Nathan scrunches his nose. "Why?"

"You were a cute baby. Your mom would dress you in such ridiculous outfits."

Nathan scowls while Jax laughs.

"You used to like sleeping on my bare chest. You threw up on me plenty of times."

'If i was still a baby, Kaylee wouldn't be here."

"Well you are right about that." Jax agrees.

"Besides, you liked changing my poopy diapers?"

"You do make a good point, you had the worst diapers."

"Will you and Mom…" Nathan trails off.

"Will we what?" Jax presses.

"Will we get another baby in the family?"

Jax tightens his hold on his son. "I don't know." Having more kids is the last thing on Jax's mind. "Did you see Ben when he was born?" Jax asks softly.

Nathan nods his head. Jax doesn't think he is going to add anything, but he does. "He was really tiny. Smaller than one of Kaylee's dolls. Mom was in the bed holding him. She was singing "Dreaming of You". The nurses took him away and Mommy got quiet. She made a noise that scared me. She started screaming for you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." Jax tells her his son.

"Are you and Mommy okay?"

Jax doesn't get to reply as his phone begins going off. He sighs as he pulls the device out of his pocket. He clenches his jaw at Luann calling again before he answers it. He is barely listening as she rambles until he hears that Clay had sent Bobby over there to handle books.

He knows Clay has been in a mood lately and for some reason his step-father didn't seem to think adding legal income was a smart move. He claimed it would be too much for the club since they didn't know where this bullshit with Zobelle was going. He also has a feeling Clay and his mom have been distant which is feeding into Clay's uneasiness.

"Christ, Luann, I'll be there in a bit." He tells her as he slams his phone shut. He looks down at his son. "We have to make a small detour."

.

.

"Just stay out here. I'll be out in a few minutes." Jax says hurriedly to Nathan. "Remember don't tell your mother either."

Nathan nods his head. His father presses a kiss to his head and rushes inside the very large building. Nathan is slightly confused why he can't go inside the building and he doesn't really like that his Dad wants to keep it a secret from Mom. He has noticed his parents aren't the same anymore. He makes him sad to know his parents aren't happy when he is happy. Him and Kaylee are both happy that their dad is back home with him.

Nathan watches a blonde girl pass by him with a very short skirt. He crinkles his nose at her and hears her snort.

Nathan keeps himself distracted by mimicking driving his Dad's bike and he is having fun doing that until he spots his Grandmother rushing into the lot.

She looks at him confused, but doesn't get to speak as he sees his grandfather right behind her on his bike.

"What the hell you doing here?" His granddad shouts.

His grandma frowns at him before turning to Clay. "Luann called. She's freaking out."

"That's club business." Clay spits. "You got no reason to intervene."

Nathan is distracted as Tig picks him up off his Dad's bike.

"What... intervene? She's my friend. She needs to talk." Gemma replies as she studs her keys into her purse.

"So when she wants to talk, you what, drop everything?" Clay fires back.

"Jesus Christ, what are you, three?" Gemma says exasperated.

"Get back to the garage." Clay orders. Nathan is even taken back back as his Grandma.

"Excuse me?"

"The last thing I need is for you running diva over a goddamn cum factory."

Nathan is shocked when his grandma kicks his grandpa's bike. "Asshole."

Nathan gets scared, however, when his grandpa picks up a brick and throws it at his grandma's car. It smashes the driver's side window.

"You stupid piece of shit!" Gemma screams.

Tig shakes him. "Go get your Dad."

Nathan runs off and into the building. His eyes widen when he sees alot of girls wearing very little. He finds his dad sitting on a couch with the blonde girl he saw earlier.

His dad notices him first. "I thought I told you to wait outside."

Nathan doesn't get to respond as the blonde lady comes closer. "Ohh, is this your son?" She says in a baby voice that makes Nathan wrinkle his nose in distaste.

Jax blocks him from view as he peers down on him.

"Grandma and Grandpa are fighting." Nathan says before tugging his dad back outside.

They witness Clay punching Gemma's escalade.

"Just what those arthritic mitts need, a good pounding." Gemma sneers before going to walk away.

"You want to see a good pounding?" Clay mutters as he comes up behind Gemma.

Nathan gets scared for his grandma as she freezes at the contact. She releases a startled breath and screams brokeningly. " Come on, bad ass, lay hands on me. I'll slit your goddamn throat! You are pathetic! Don't you touch... Don't!"

Nathan rushes forward and pushes his grandpa away. "Stay away, Grandpa!"

He doesn't like seeing his Dad or grandpa making his mom and Grandma cry. He is tired of seeing the women in his family looking so sad.

He hugs his grandmother's legs. "It's okay, Grandma. I got you."

.

.

There are a lot of things Gemma overlooks from her son. In this life, she knows her son does things that most parents would never want any child to even be aware of. Just growing up in this life, Gemma has accepted it. However, the fact her son brought her grandson to a porn studio is something she isn't going to let slide by.

If her son wants to sabotage his marriage there isn't much she can do, but for him to put his children in the crossfire, her son is a fucking idiot. She knows that Alma most certainly doesn't know about that visit.

Gemma didn't think she would raise such a dumbass for a son.

"You needed me?"

Gemma's eyes fly to her son. She notices that he has neglected shaving his beard and cutting his hair. He looks tired. Gemma thinks she can relate.

"What were you thinking taking Nathan to Cara Cara?"

Jax sighs. "It's not a big deal."

"Are you purposely trying to piss off Alma?" She questions hotly.

"What about what's going on with you and Clay?"

Gemma doesn't lower her gaze from her son's burning eyes. She is not oblivious that everyone has been walking on eggshells around her. She would love to tell her son and husband the truth about her car accident, but she knows they would do something stupid. She would lose her boys to that anger.

"Alma's not blind or stupid, Jax. Just because she hasn't outright done or said anything…" Gemma trails off. She has tried to pry her way inside Alma's mind. She was curious to know where her daughter in laws head was at. As much as Alma is Chico's daughter, Ana was the one that raised her. Ana was known for her plotting. She made her exit strategies. Gemma knows that Alma is getting all her ducks in a row and since her son is being an asshole she can't blame her.

Gemma watches as Jax looks away from her. She clears her throat. "Miss Double Penetration is waiting for you."

She is surprised to see the guilt in her son's face.

.

.

Alma is busy in the kitchen making dinner. Nathan and Jax have been out all day. She and Kaylee stayed inside and had a mini spa day. Kaylee wanted to learn how to do pretty nails like she did. Kaylee was not fond of not being able to go to see and all the pretty nails she does at work.

It was a good day though. For once, Alma didn't really feel stressed or consumed with negative thoughts about where her life had been going lately. She looks out to the opening where Kaylee is consumed with the TV. She is talking along with Dora as they speak Spanish.

Alma knows she should speak to her children more in Spanish. She knows her mother only speaks to them in Spanish. She knows though that her mother does it to irritate Jax. Jax has been able to pick up some words, but she knows he gets lost when she or the kids really get going.

Alma smiles as she turns back to the request for Burritos for dinner and some supreme nachos. She is busy filling the burritos and lost in her head when she jumps as she feels hands grab her hips.

The smell of nicotine and leather fill her senses and Jax's arms wrap fully around her and she is pulled to his chest.

Alma is making dinner with Kaylee when he comes home and surprises Alma with some affection. She is frozen as she places a kiss on her cheek and then on her shoulder.

"Where's Nathan?"

"Dropped him off with Mom."

"Did you guys have a good time?" She asks.

"Yeah," Jax mutters against her head. "Should plan a family day to the beach after Kaylee's birthday."

Alma is perplexed, but doesn't let on. if he wants to pretend things are fine. She'll let him. He isn't going to ruin her good mood for the day.

"Just let me know what i need to do." She replies.

Jax smiles. "Do you need any help in the kitchen?"

Alma shakes her head. "No. No, thank you though."

She is taken back by him giving her another hug and pressing a kiss to her head before joining Kaylee in her Dora adventures.

.

.

Alma feels unsettled. Jax had become more attentive and affectionate over the past couple days and it's throwing her off. She even woke up to him between her thighs and he didn't even want her to return the favor.

Something is just off and she wonders if all of this is happening because of his guilt about something. She didn't miss the headline in the news about some backwater trailer being blown to smithereens. There are reports of it being a meth lab and while she listens to the story, she realizes she has no idea what is going on within the club.

Jax would tell her everything down to the club voting on which toilet paper should be in the clubhouse. Now, he hasn't told her anything evident when she had to find out through Luann about him being a porn producer.

Alma sighs as she knows she and Jax need to have a talk soon. It is the only reason why when she went grocery shopping she let Nathan have fun in the snack aisle. She knows whatever talk she and Jax have is not going to be pretty.

She pulls into her driveway and narrows her eyes at a young blonde girl standing at her front door. The girl is wearing a micro skirt with a tube top as she chews on bubble gum.

"Stay in the car," Alma tells her son as she exits the car.

Alma watches as the woman trails her eyes over her frame. The woman is clearly judging her for some reason. Alma thinks she recognizes her and clearly from her outfit alone she knows this is a pornstar.

"Can I help you?" Alma asks her.

The girl blows a bubble with her gum. "Luann said you are supposed to be doing our nails." The girl holds up a hand with a broken nail. "I need this fixed."

"You need to make an appointment, or just wait until i come to the studio."

"Excuse me." The girl replies irritated.

"I'm sorry, but I don't take walk-ins." Alma explains. "I apologize if someone told you differently."

"I mean I wasted my gas and safety coming over here considering the whole situation with Georgie Carusco. Jax's been giving me rides back home." The woman says sweetly before walking away. "I'm Ima, by the way," she yells out.

Alma swallows the lump in her throat and she walks back to the car. She opens Nathan's door and smiles at him tightly. His words higher make her stomach drop.

"I seen her before. Dad was talking to her." She can tell Nathan realizes what he said as he looks at her worried.

"Where did you see her?" She can tell Nathan doesn't want to tell her. "Nathan."

"Daddy had to go visit Luann." He mumbles.

.

.

Alma waits. She makes dinner for the Jax and the kids. Jax volunteers to put the kids to bed and that is when Alma makes her move. She had showered and changed into a set of Pajama shorts and a cami. She almost feels bad as she hears Jax laughing with one of the kids.

She planned just to wait in bed to confront him, but she was too antsy. She couldn't keep still. She stands up and starts walking in a circle before she stands next to the small bookcase she and Jax keep in their room.

She knows after this nothing in their marriage can go back to the way things used to be. She can't decide if she feels anger or sadness.

She can hear Jax's heavy tread down the hallway. She can hear him enter their room and immediately closes the door. She doesn't wait. She turns around and looks at her husband.

"Who is Ima?" She asks with a blank expression.

She can tell he is taken back as the smile on his face disappears. He has a blank mask. "She is one of Luann's girls."

"And you're giving her rides home because?" Alma spits out.

"What the hell did my mother tell you?"

"It doesn't matter what your mother says. What do you say?" She fires back hotly. She ignores the sting of Gemma knowing about Jax's wandering dick.

"Whatever you heard is bullshit." He spits.

Alma doesn't realize she even grabbed the plastic ashtray until it is already flying across the room and smacks Jax in the face.

"What the fuck, Alma!"

"Am I not good enough for you!" She screams as she throws another meaningless item at him. "Did you have sex with her!"

Jax doesn't reply fast enough and he barely dodges another item that flies at him.

"Why in the fuck does Nathan know who she is, is actually the bigger issue." Alma spits. "You want to fuck your whore do it on your own goddamn times."

"He...I only took him there once, Al. It's not...he didn't see anything." Jax says trying to control the panic he is feeling. His marriage is about to implode.

Alma opens the drawers filled with Jax's clothes and throws them at him.

"Get out! I don't want you here. Go fuck your whores at the clubhouse!" She screams at him. She knows that she won't be able to bear hearing his voice or his touch. She runs into the bathroom and locks the door to avoid facing him.

She doesn't bother holding her sobs as the cries break out. All she can think is that this is what her mother had warned her about. Her mother told her this would happen. She doesn't know how long she kept herself isolated in the bathroom until a timid knock comes from the door.

"Mom?"

Alma immediately stands up and wipes at her face hearing Nathan's voice. She opens the door and gives him a watery smile.

"What's wrong baby?"

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm just a little bit sad. I'll feel better in the morning."

Nathan looks at her confused before he hugs her legs. "I don't like it when you're sad, Mommy. Will a kiss make you feel better?"

Alma kneels down. "A kiss from you will always make me feel better."

Nathan smiles and gives her a kiss. She holds her son tightly.

.

.

Jax knows he fucked up. In fact, his mind is still back in his bedroom as he watched a piece of Alma crumble. He knows there is no going back to how things were before. Instead of trying to fix his marriage, he finds himself at Cara Cara. He had confirmed it was a late shot. Some girls doing a few things on the cam. He is surprised the doors are even open that late considering the whole bullshit with Georgie. He thinks the expensive ass guard dogs must provide some comfort.

He is pissed though. Despite this being his fault for fucking that stupid pornstar. It's his fault that his marriage is hanging on barley by a thread. Besides after taking a ride, the last place he wanted to be at was the clubhouse. He didn't want to explain why he was showing up there late a night. He thinks he will just sleep on the couch when he gets home and leave before Alma realizes what he did. Worse, he will find refuge at his mom's house.

He takes a drag of his cigarette and then flicks the bud away. He takes a deep breath as he walks into the building. The girls barely blink at his presence. He feels shame tainting his blood as he knows these girls know his wife. Alma does their nails and they know what he does at some of the parties here.

He knows one particular pornstar that works with Ima, Lyla can't hide her disgust for him. He follows the familiar path to the dressing room and doesn't bother knocking on the door as he enters.

Ima and Lyla are doing their makeup and both jump at his arrival.

Lyla rolls her eyes and slams her something down on her makeup stand. She stands up abruptly and looks at Ima, "Reminder we're on in 15 minutes." Lyla doesn't hide her sneer at him as she leaves and slams the door.

Ima stands up and immediately unties her sheer pink robe. She has a flirty smile on her face as she approaches him. "Miss me?" She asks with a sultry smile.

Jax doesn't say anything as she approaches and she leans up to kiss him. He doesn't let her get that far as he cups her face and begins to lead her backwards towards her station. He thinks maybe he should feel some guilt for what he is about to do. She doesn't see it coming as he turns her and she releases a moan before it turns into a startled scream as he slams her face against her makeup station. She immediately tries to get away from him as she begins crawling.

He pulls her back by her hair. His grip is tight around her throat as he leans over her as he presses her against a lounge chair that is in her room.

She is too scared to scream or even cry as the blood pours out of her nose.

"You ever flash that rancid pussy around my family again, I will kill you. You understand?" He threatens her.

Ima nods as a sob breaks through her lips.

Jax stands up and looks at her in disgust. "Whore." He mutters before he leaves her alone. He can hear her sobbing as he walks down the hallway.

.

.

Jax isolates himself from the club once they reach Eureka. He has a bottle of Jack and wants to be left alone with his thoughts.

His kids had given him a cheerful goodbye and he had promised them a souvenir to bring back. Alma, however, was nowhere to be seen before he left. In fact, they haven't spoken in a week since she confronted him about Ima. He isn't stupid and hasn't tried to sleep in their bed together. He has made a home in the guest room. He knows he has some serious groveling to do to even get an ounce of forgiveness from her. He is not even sure where to start.

The only thing that has been able to keep him busy is club business. They are still trying to figure out how to handle Zobelle and he can tell it is getting to Clay after their little showdown on how to handle getting Tig back from the bounty hunters.

He knows that most of the stress coming from Clay is from whatever his mom has been dealing with since her car accident.

The only thing that Jax can say gets him through the day is that his children are safe. He is hoping by Kaylee's birthday that he and Alma will have things settled to a point she can look at him and probably not want to stab him.

Jax hears the sound of footsteps and he turns his head to find Bobby approaching. Bobby takes a seat on his bike that is parked next to him.

"You doing okay?" Bobby asks him.

Jax shrugs. "Just some shit at home."

Bobby hums. "Alma find out what you did to Ima?"

Jax shakes his head. "Ima knew better than to go to my fucking house." Jax defends himself.

"I'm not judging. I have no place considering the shit I put Precious through." Bobby amends. "What you and Alma went through on top of club shit hitting the fan...it's tough. How we grieve is different and there isn't a right way, butare you grieving Jax or punishing her."

Jax glares at Bobby, but he can't exactly deny the accusation.

"In this life, we can't have therapists, but we have old ladies or Piney," Bobby quips that makes Jax snort. "Just where is your head at man?" Bobby implores.

Jax takes a swing of his Jack as he looks out into the darkness of the night. In truth, he doesn't know. "I don't know, really. It's just a let it get this bad, I'm not sure if I can find a way back."

Bobby nods his head. "Alma loves you. She'll listen and the forgiveness might not come easy - "

"What if I already lost her?"

Bobby doesn't have an answer to that.

.

.

Gemma and Alma are out shopping for last minute items for Kaylee's birthday party. Alma had been surprised by the request and even more she somehow managed to convince Donna to have a playdate while they went out shopping.

So far Gemma has been entertaining small talk and Alma knows Gemma wants to talk about Jax. She is trying to ease her way into it.

Alma decides to cut through the bullshit. "Did you know about Ima?"

Gemma freezes and looks up from the packet of napkins that read "Happy Birthday". "So he slept with her?"

"He didn't deny it." Alma confirms. "I'm also not stupid enough to think she is the only one."

"What are you going to do?" Gemma asks.

"Try not to murder him in his sleep." Alma remarks dryly. "She came to our house, Gem."

Gemma eyes widen. She can tell her mother in law didn't know that. "She what!"

"I also know Jax took Nathan to Cara Cara." Alma adds. "I'm sorry, Gem, but I don't think this is something that can be fixed."

"Al…"

Alma shakes her head. "I need distance from him and all of this. It wasn't even like this was from him being on a run. He did this at home. Do you know how stupid I look going to Cara Cara and knowing Jax fucked them the night before. It wasn't even like he wasn't getting any at home either."

"Maybe send him to the clubhouse. Put up some boundaries. Divorce is serious, Alma."

Alma rolls her eyes. "I tried to kick him up and he only went to the couch. We can't say we didn't see this coming, Gem. When a couple loses a child...it's almost inevitable this was going to happen."

"What about the kids?" Gemma asks.

"We'll still be a family even if Jax and I are not together." Alma tells her softly.

"God, you're mother must be loving this."

"She doesn't know about anything that is going on," Alma tells her. "Even then it's not like I am calling a lawyer for divorce."

Gemma snorts. "If you are going to file for a legal separation isn't that going to just lead to divorce." Gemma remarks bitterly. "Just set some boundaries for Jax. You're not the first old - "

"Please, Gemma, I don't need that speech right now." Alma interrupts. "I am not just Jax's old lady. I am his wife. We made vows that were pretty important to me. He fucked up. All of this is on him."

Alma doesn't wait for Gemma to reply as she heads to check out. She really does not need to hear how old ladies need to stick together or any other pro club bullshit. Although what did she expect talking to Gemma, she is Jax's mother, but she knows she can't go to her mother with this. She thinks maybe Donna would be someone to talk to, but she doesn't want to burden the woman with her problems.

Gemma is silent as she follows her. It isn't until they are out of the store and carrying the bags into the car that she speaks. "Look, I'm sorry. I just know this would break Jax's heart."

"As if he didn't break mine?"

Gemma is left speechless. There really isn't anything to say after that. Gemma purses her lips as she looks out into the parking lot. She freezes as she spots a very familiar blonde and the two lock eyes. Gemma's feet begin moving as she reaches into her purse for her gun. She speeds up as the woman realizes she is being chased.

Gemma can hear Alma calling for her, but she is focused on the woman, who finds an escape through Winston pulling up in a truck. Gemma falters as the man that has haunted her nightmares. Her eyes follow the truck that disappears into a tiny dot.

A hand reaches out and touches her shoulder and on instinct Gemma brings up her elbow in defense. She can hear the crunch of a nose.

"Fuck, Gemma!" Alma shouts.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry!"

"What the hell, Gemma!" Alma groans as she tries to staunch the bleeding.

"Let's get you to St. Thomas." Gemma amends as she leads Alma back to the car.

Her nose isn't broken, but she has a nasty bruise along the bridge with a black eye to match. Alma knows though something is wrong with Gemma. She feels guilty for not paying attention before. She's been too blinded by her breaking marriage to realize Gemma is still dealing with the after effects of her car accident. Gemma was clearly chasing some girl and she didn't miss how her mother in law was reaching for a gun.

"Who was the girl?" Alma asks Gemma as they drive back to her house.

Gemma side eyes her, but doesn't answer.

"You almost just blew my head off."

"Don't exaggerate." Gemma snarks.

Alma sighs. "The car accident wasn't a car accident was it?"

Gemma doesn't answer until they pull up into Alma's driveway. "The night of Bobby's party... A minivan pulls up behind me. That girl jumps out in a panic. Says her baby's choking it was a goddamn doll in the car seat. She hit me over the back of the head with something. They had me handcuffed to a chain link. There were three of them."

Gemma doesn't add any more, but Alma knows what happened and it makes her feel sick to her stomach. "You need to tell Jax and Clay, Gem."

"No, if I do…" Gemma trails off.

"You know who did this?" Alma probes.

"I know what is going on between you and Jax...no matter what i say or do, I just want the best for my family. I know if Jax finds out about this with the shit going on between you two...he doesn't need that." Gemma says softly.

Alma swallows the lump in her throat. She knows Gemma wants to protect her son from this pain, but she can't not this time. This need for this secret to be quiet is going to make things worse.

"You need to talk to someone, Gemma."

"Well now I have you."

.

.

Alma finds herself sitting on the back patio with a cup of tea in her hands. Gemma took the kids for the rest of the day and Alma is left alone with her thoughts since Gemma's revelation. Alma isn't sure what to do. It's not her place to tell Gemma's story and Gemma did leave out certain pieces so she couldn't even place together who did this to Gemma.

Alma knows it is somehow connected to the club and considering how Jax isn't telling her anything these days, she has no dots to connect.

Alma sighs as she lounges on the lounge chair.

She doesn't know what to do anymore. She knows Gemma means well in wanting to keep their family together, but it's not that simple.

"Hey, you alright?"

Alma turns at the sight of her husband, who is looking at her in concern.

"I'm fine."

"That's a solid shot to the face."

"It was an accident. I'm fine." She states as she looks at him for the first time in days. This is the first time they have spoken since their argument.

"Alma -"

"What Jax?" She snaps.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

Alma chuckles bitterly. "Your words don't mean shit."