I left the cabin in a rush, tears blurring my vision as I ran towards the hill.

I could hear the sound of a struggle behind me, signaling the Redcoats had reached Jamie, but I had promised him I wouldn't look back.

I made my feet move as fast as I could, trying to put as much distance as I could between me and whatever might've been happening back there.

By the time I reached the stone circle I was out of breath, and so dizzy I almost lost my balance as I stopped running a few feet away from the circle.

The second I stopped moving I immediately felt sick and leaned against an oak tree to empty the contents of my stomach.

I straightened up and spat on the grass below my feet, trying to get rid of the taste of vomit from my mouth.

Still breathing heavily, I took a tentative step ahead, and had to close my eyes to try to stop the dizziness from making me sick again. I stopped altogether again, taking deep breaths to calm my stomach.

I straightened up again and swallowed, deciding to move.

Before I could take another step, I heard the indistinguishable blast of a canon, signaling the battle was starting after all.

The battle Jamie and I had done everything in our power to stop. The battle that had cost us so greatly, our freedom, our choices, our child, our future together.

My hand instinctively touched my still flat stomach, the child safely tucked inside me completely unaware of the bloody war happening, completely unaware of the uncertain future that awaited us.

Another tear rolled through my face as I realized this was another child Jamie would never get the chance to be a father to.

I felt my heart get heavy as I realized we'd never get the chance of raising a child together.

I'd never get see the joy in his eyes as he held a newborn baby in his arms, a child with hair as red as his. I'd never get to watch him speak Gaelic to his own child, calming him or her during a colicky night.

I'd never get to see him teach his child how to ride a horse, or how to track in the woods near Lallybroch.

Tears roamed free down my face with the despair I felt.

As much as I hated the idea of going back to the 20th century, I knew I had no other choice, though.

Even if by some miracle I managed to get away from Culloden Moor, I'd never get far. Too many people knew the English wife of Red Jamie. I'd never make it to Lallybroch, the only place I'd be safe regardless of the results of the battle.

Moreover, I was painfully aware that Jamie had every intention of dying in that bloody moor. And I'd have nothing to go back to, anyway.

I couldn't possibly live in Lallybroch without him, the memories of our joyful time there strongly permeating every corner along with his presence.

Another canon sounded at the distance, and I knew I didn't have much time before an English patrol passed by.

I took the remaining steps towards the cleft stone and breathed deeply, preparing myself for the uncomfortable sensations that would follow.

Reaching my hand in front of me, I took another deep breath and closed my eyes as I felt the grainy texture of the stone against my palm.

I had prepared myself to faint, to be dizzy, to all kinds of sensory overload that would certainly happen as I went through.

But nothing could've prepared me to hear yet another blast of a canon.

As I opened my eyes, I realized I was exactly in the same place, the scenario around me exactly the same as it had been ten seconds before.

I tried to place both my hands on the stone, this time with my eyes wide open.

Nothing happened.