"Love and war always go together. They are the peaks of human emotion. Evil and good, beauty and ugliness."- Rick Riordan
Chapter 13
Sleep found me easier than I had expected. Through the small window of our room, the sun was falling deeper and deeper into the sky, and I fell with it, my eyes heavy with exhaustion. My feet aching with the pain of the road.
But it didn't last. A knock sounded on my door not long after. I could still see the orange glow of the setting sun. Fion moaned and rolled over in his cot. Lia looked up from her knitting.
"Hello?" I said, opening the door. Theoden's head advisor was there. An old man, his face weathered and eyes sullen. Gamling, the people called him.
"Forgive me, miss," he said with a small bow to the head. "I have come to retrieve Fion, Son of Fingran."
I turned. Fion opened his eyes at the mention of his name. "What do you want with him?" I asked.
"Theoden King has declared that all men of fighting age will stand here at the Hornburg tonight."
"Fion is twelve years old," I said, grabbing the knob of the door and closing it slightly. "He won't be doing any fighting."
"He can hold steel. He can fight." Gamling grabbed the door and pushed it open, out of my grasp. "Come, lad. To the smithy."
Fion stood, his face just as confused as I felt. "Fion, sit back down," I demanded.
"You are his caretaker," Gamling said. "And I sense you are good at that job, miss. But this is not your call to make. The boy is a citizen of Rohan. He will defend her tonight."
"He is a child!" I yelled. "He's never held steel in his life. Your king speaks of the future of Rohan. Of a time when you will resew your crops. Rebuild your villages. How can you do that if the children of your lands are slaughtered?"
"Our king," Gamling growled. "Our lands. Our crops. Our villages. I know who you are, Mallory Gilmore, Traveler of Worlds. I know the tales Lord Eomer has spoken of you. I know not what magic brought you here, but it brought you here nonetheless and since, you have reaped the hospitality of the Rohirrim and the fortress of Aldburg. You, who have been given Rohan as a home, would ask her king to lack in her defences? If we have a chance to rebuild after this war, it will be because strong young men like him are working those defences. Not sitting in the caves, listening to their countrymen die."
"It's alright, Mallory," Fion said, walking towards us. "I will go."
"No, Fion."
"Yes," he said grabbing my hand. "I know we don't talk about it much, but you are not from here. This is what we do."
"But you don't have to," I argued, a tear falling down my cheek.
He shook his head. "I do. Theoden King has asked it of me. Rohan has asked it of me." He wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me tightly and I buried my face is his straw-colored hair. "Thank you for taking care of me, Mallory," he said, his voice muffled by my chest. And he broke the hug too soon, walking out the door and past Gamling.
The old man turned to me. "Perhaps in the future," he said, resting a hand on the hilt of his sword. "You can learn from the people of Rohan. Not try to change them to fit your own bidding." And he made to leave.
"Lord Gamling!" Lia called, dropping her knitting and jumping up from her cot. "I want to come with Fion."
His hard face broke a small smile. I was too flabbergasted, too silenced from Gamling's words to say anything. He knelt down to her level. "How many years have you, little miss?"
"Ten," she said, pulling her mother's knife from its sheath at her waist. "My mother was a shieldmaiden. Limwen, Daughter of Liden."
He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I met your mother once, child. A fierce warrior she was. Her loss was mourned by my fellows in the First Eored. She would be proud of your will to fight. But you have not yet seen enough winters to fight in this battle."
"If Fion can go, I want to as well." Tears were welling up in her eyes.
Gamling looked up at me and then back to Lia. "The women and children will go to the caves," he said. "All the men will be fighting. The defenses of the caves will be low. Perhaps you can serve our cause from below. If the evil breaks our hold, may I ask you to defend it?"
"That is not the same," she argued.
"No, it is not. But it is what we need. Can you give Rohan something she needs?"
Lia looked down at her mother's knife, her knuckles turning white against its hilt. And she nodded, putting her knife back in its sheath.
"Lord Gamling," I said, following him out the door. "I love these kids. I love Fion. Please, watch over him."
The old man gave me a hard stare before nodding his head. "I bid Bema to bless him tonight. I will not place him in the front lines. None of the younger lads."
"Thank you," I said, wiping my tears away.
"The women and children are to make for the caves by sundown. Dusk does not last long in the Mark. Gather your children. Make there with haste."
"Fion will kill a thousand Orcs!" Arton yelled excitedly.
"Lord Gamling just took him away?" Vanesse asked, her own tears sprouting in her eyes.
"It is the king's bidding. Gamling said he would keep him from the front lines. It was the best I could ask for."
"We need to make for the caves," she said, wiping her eyes and grabbing her travel pack once more. "Come, little ones. Grab your things."
"But we just got here!" Tara protested. "I'm tired."
"We can rest in the caves," I said.
Dank, wet, and cold. That's what the caves were. Packed too, with nearly a thousand women and children. Riders of Rohan ushered us inside the small entrances, but I was stopped before I made it through the door. "Lord Eomer has asked to speak with you before the battle begins, Miss Mallory," one of them said to me. I didn't know his name but I recognized his face from the Third Eored. The eored that had rescued me on the plains nearly seven months ago.
"Eomer," I said, purposely leaving out his title, "can suck an egg."
"It is not a request. He waits for you at the west entrance to the caves."
Tara's hand was wrapped around my own. "Go with Vanesse," I said. "I will find you soon."
I followed the Rider's directions up the west set of stone stairs. Sure enough, he was there, a torch in his hand to light the way through these dark caves.
"What do you want?" I demanded. Women and children were still making their way through the door.
"To speak with you in private," he said. "Come."
"The kids are waiting for me. They're terrified and you want me to follow you somewhere private? I don't want to talk to you, Eomer."
"Damn you, impossible woman. I am not asking." With that, he grabbed my hand, pulling me away and through another set of chamber doors.
I protested the whole way, but he continued to pull me, the crowd of people too distracted to notice. "Let go of me!" I yelled. And he did when we crossed through the doors, shutting them behind him and placing his torch in a holder on the wall. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I do not know!" he said, turning towards me. We were in one of the small chamber rooms. "I have not known for months, that is the problem. Something has been wrong with me since that day Eothain found you on the plains, wearing your strange clothes. You with your strange dialect. Your brown hair with tints of red in the sunlight. Your soft hands and kind words to Firefoot. Your eyes when they crinkle at your smile, however rare it is. Your call for aid that I cannot just simply deny, no matter how hard I try."
His hands grabbed my shoulders tightly, but still gentle. "Eomer, I-"
"You are the only person behind the walls of Aldburg to refuse the use of my title," he interrupted. "And it has never once bothered me. I think I feared if I had asked you to use it, then you would stop saying my name at all." His right hand moved to my cheek, caressing it with his thumb.
"Why did you bring me here?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.
"Our odds for this battle are slim," he said softly. "I could not face it without peace between us. Without telling you these thoughts that I have been keeping to myself."
"Please," I begged. "Please stop. I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said. You don't have to choose between helping me and helping your people. Pick your people, Eomer. I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing."
"Then I forgive you. If you came here to apologize, I forgive you." I knew he hadn't come here for forgiveness. I wasn't stupid. But I had to delay his words. If the call for battle came before he could get them out then I wouldn't have to hear him say what he came to say. I wouldn't have to hurt him. "There is no ill will between us. Go to the battle knowing that-"
His lips landed upon mine, shutting me up. Now both his hands grasped my face between them. He wasn't wearing gloves. His hands were so warm, so gentle. From above us, I could hear small sounds of thunder through the stone. The clopping of horse hooves in the stable. He smelled of the road and his lips were chapped from the sun and weather we had endured from the travel. I didn't kiss him back.
When he pulled away, I was still stunned with silence. This wasn't right. I didn't want this. "Have I frightened you?" he whispered.
Yes, I wanted to say. I am terrified that now there is finally something to keep me here. Keep me from going home. But I couldn't. The words wouldn't come out. I just stared into those green eyes of his. Green as the grass that grew on the plains of this land. Eyes that had surveyed me time and time again over silent meals and readings of maps. Eyes that could read me better than I could read them.
"I didn't mean to frighten you," he said. "I meant to bring some small comfort to you before you go below to wait for all of this to end. Though, I must admit this is a selfish act as well." He gave pause for me to respond, but I still couldn't bring words to my mouth. My lips were frozen shut. When I said nothing, he continued. "I wanted you to know. I wanted to know someone down below would be sending me good will during the fight. Theoden told me to make peace with you before the battle. I didn't want to. But the closer it draws, I know the regrets I would have. The burden I would have on my mind." He paused again, a little frustration growing in his eyes. "Mallory, please say something."
I wanted to tell him no. I wanted tell him that I couldn't choose him over my home. But I also couldn't break his heart. Send him out there to the unknown with no hope. He needed hope and I needed him to live. "I will send you good will from the caves," I whispered.
He smiled and it made my heart ache. "Do you still have the blanket I gave you all those months ago?"
I nodden, pulling my pack off of my back and bringing it out. He pulled a knife from his boot and cut a piece of the corner off. "I'll keep it as a token during battle," he said. "And when it is over, we can have peace again."
I couldn't respond. I just nodded and felt a tear slip out of my eye.
He wiped it away with his thumb. "Do not cry, fair Mallory. It will all be over in the morrow." He grabbed my hand and pulled my knuckles to his mouth, kissing it gently, then made to leave the room.
"Eomer," I said, and he turned back. "Fion is up there. Please keep him safe."
He nodded. "I will see the lad through as little harm as possible. I promise."
Another promise. Another dreadful time of waiting for something to happen.
It didn't take long to find Vanesse and the kids. They were waiting in a spot near the entrance where I had left them. Tara, Mariel, and Arton were asleep underneath a few thin blankets. Lia's eyes were fixated on the door which closed behind me with a thud, her knife held tightly in her hand. I was the last one to enter the caves. I heard the thud of the boardlock on the other side.
"What did Lord Eomer want this time?" Vanesse asked as I sat down beside her. She handed me a bundle of food. Grapes, a few slices of apple, and a small cut of cheese. But I didn't eat it. I just picket at the peel of the apple, listening to the bustle of people around me. The drops of water that landed through the cracks in the cave walls.
"Mallory?" she asked again.
"He wanted us to send him good will during the battle. He promised to watch over Fion," I said.
"Is that all?"
"It's enough," I said. And it would have been had that been all that he had said.
"You should get some sleep after you eat."
"Lia needs sleep too," I argued.
"Do not speak for me," the little girl said, her eyes still fixated on the door.
I didn't want to argue. Not again. So I just pulled Eomer's blanket from my pack once again. I didn't want to use it, but it was the only one I had.
"The edge if fraying," Vanesse said, pointing at the corner Eomer had just cut. "I can fix it for you."
"Don't bother," I whispered, rolling over and away from her, closing my eyes and forcing sleep to come. Above me, I could swear I heard the soft thud of drums.
It felt like the most sleep I had gotten in days, but it still couldn't have been much. A rustling beside me cause me to wake. It was Mariel, crawling under the blanket with me. "Mallory, I'm thirsty."
I huffed, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. Vanesse had lay beside the other two sleeping children, her breathing slow and eyes shut. Lia still hadn't moved.
I stretched. "I'll find us some water," I whispered, standing and making my way through the crowds, towards a barrel with a ladle. Wooden cups had been placed beside it and I spooned the water into two.
"Nifara," a voice whispered behind me.
"Frieda," I jumped, earning some shushes from the sleeping women around me.
"I did not mean to startle you," she said, her hands behind her back. "I only meant to check on you. And apologize."
"You have nothing to apologize for-"
"Oh, but I do," she said. "Eothain was all I had left in this world. Our parents long gone. Our little sister succumbing to pox when we were but children. But we survived it all, him and me." she nodded her head toward a nook in the wall and I followed her, sitting down on a rock across from her. "He was a kind-hearted man. Foolish in the wiles of women, but kind-hearted nonetheless. I was never like him. Not naturally anyway. He brought out the best in me. And when he was gone…"
"Frieda, you did so much for me in those first few months. So much that I could never repay you. And I know Eorlingas do not act out kindness for reward, but I mean it. And I never meant for Eothain to die."
"I know, nifara. I know. But I still owe you this apology. I had forgotten that I am not the only one to lose family in these hard times. I see that more clearly than ever now. I wish for the ill will between us to pass. I fear I will be busy at the Hornburg for days tending to the men who fight for us above. I know you have not the stomach for my work, but I fear the healers will need help. Let our ill will pass so that we may work together when all of this is over."
"Of course."
"Bring water to the children," she said. "Aldburg owes you thanks for taking their care under your wing."
"Aldburg owes me nothing," I said, standing. "I am the one who owes Aldburg."
BOOM!
The sound came from above and the sleeping women and children around us were awakened in a frenzy. Babies started to cry, mothers became frantic.
"What was that?" I yelled over the voices around us.
"I know not!" Frieda yelled back. Small stones started falling from the ceiling. Back in the orphan's nook, the children were huddled around Vanesse, their faces frightened. Lia had stood, raising her knife to the door. "Go to your children, nifara," Frieda said, pushing me away.
I obeyed, dropping the cups and running over, pulling Arton into my arms. He cried, his body shaking in my arms. "It's alright," I muttered. "We're gonna be alright."
I had no way of knowing if that were true. Only one truth had awakened to me in that moment.
This was truly a war they were fighting up there. And whatever that had been now made that abundantly clear.