New Year's Resolutions
Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes sat next to a warm fire, the only source of light in an abandoned old cabin hidden deep in the Big Horn Mountains. Outside the snow was falling just as it had been for the past three days but tonight the wind had picked up, uttering a lonely howl that only reminded them of just how isolated they really were.
"You know Kid, a few more days and it's gonna be a new year. Lots of possibilities come with a new year."
Kid pulled the collar of his Sherpa up around his ears. The fire helped, but the cracks and splinters in the walls did nothing to keep the cold wind from slipping through all the nooks and crannies.
"What's possible in a new year that weren't possible this year?"
"Amnesty, for one."
Kid chuckled. "Ain't you ever going to give up on that idea, Heyes?"
"Well Kid, this is an election year."
"Which means the Governor ain't going to take the risk of giving us an amnesty."
Heyes smiled. "Unless he loses."
"Uh?"
"Well, what's he got to lose giving us a pardon if he don't get re-elected?"
"He'd lose the chance to get elected to some seat in Washington. Look how many losers there are there."
Heyes smiled. Kid did have a point.
"You making any New Year's Resolutions, Kid?"
"You mean like I ain't gonna play cat and mouse with no bounty hunters in 1886?"
Heyes smiled and took a sip of his whiskey spiked coffee. "I think resolutions are supposed to be realistic, but yeah along those lines."
"Nope."
"You even been thinking about any New Year's Resolutions?"Heyes asked.
"Heyes, what kind of resolutions would be befitting to the likes of us? Let's see, I'm gonna resolve to darn the holes in my socks before they get to the point that two toes can poke their way through...Or here's one for you, why not resolve to clean your gun at least twice in the new year? Resolutions are just made to be broken, Heyes."
"Maybe you could resolve not to be so proddy," Heyes replied.
Kid laughed. "Okay Heyes, I'll be serious and try to think up a couple of good resolutions, but you hafta do the same."
"Deal."
"Ah, now that's one for you, Heyes!"
"What?"
"You could resolve never to use that two headed coin of yours that you keep hidden away for special occasions."
"I don't have a two-headed coin and besides, even if I did and you knew about it, why wouldn't you just always bet heads?"
"Cause it's a magic coin, Heyes. You can switch it from heads to tails depending on what I bet."
"Come on Kid, you said you would be serious."
Kid poked at the fire with a stick to stir the embers. "Alright, but you go first," he said as he settled back down on the floor beside Heyes.
"Well, let me see...My first resolution for the new year is to...put on a little weight."
"Good grief, Heyes, has going straight turned you into a girl or something? Gain weight, what a lame resolution... How much?"
"Ten pounds, and weight ain't just a woman's worry. Why you could..." Heyes stopped, realizing it might be best to hold his tongue.
Kid glanced over to size up Heyes' frame. "That really wouldn't hurt you one little bit, you know."
"I know. That's why I'm making it a resolution. Now it's your turn."
"I'm sticking with the socks. I really should learn to darn those damn things."
"You can't just buy new ones?"
"Heyes, except for the holes, them socks are perfectly good."
"Okay fine, you little miser," Heyes said, no longer able to hold his tongue. "But now we both have to come up with a serious one."
They sat for several minutes in silence, staring into the dancing flames of the fire, each trying to think of a useful resolution."
"Okay, I've got a serious one," Kid said suddenly. "My New Years Resolution is to... not run to the aid of every damsel in distress. It just gets us into too much trouble."
"You know, that's actually a pretty good resolution, Kid. One I hope you can stick to."
"But I'm still gonna help the pretty ones...and the young ones...and maybe the rich ones, and of course the..."
"Kid," Heyes interrupted. "Just say your New Years Resolution is to not come to the aide of any poor, ugly, old women. That should eliminate at least two or three of your Knight in Shining Armor rescues in the new year."
Kid nodded. "Alright. That's my resolution. Now what's yours?"
Heyes sighed and drank the last of his coffee. "My resolution is to...seriously listen to your advice when Big Mac or anybody else offers us a job that's too good to be true."
Kid smiled. "I like that one, Heyes, cause every job Big Mac offers us is too good to be true."
"Well, I ain't resolving not to take any of them jobs. I'm just resolving to listen to your objections."
Kid frowned. "So nothing's changed?"
"Well, nobody keeps those silly resolutions anyway, Kid."
"I'm gonna keep mine," Kid said with complete confidence.
"You mean you're really gonna cut down on coming to the rescue of all the ladies?"
Kid gave Heyes a perplexed look. "No, Heyes. I mean I really am gonna learn to darn my own damn socks!"