Walls Down
Co-written with april21st
Discalimer: Attack on Titan (c) Hajime Isayama. No financial profit taken from this.
Warning: Canon, lots of swearing (because Levi)
This was supposed to be a group trip. The Special Operations Squad along with Commander Erwin Smith and all squad leaders of Survey Corps were invited to the annual year-end military gathering in Stohess. But suddenly Gunther was having a stomachache and Erd was fetching him medicine with Auruo because apparently he's the only one who knows where. What a great coincidence. Which left Petra alone with her captain. All dressed up and ready to go.
Petra glanced at Levi. His scowl was even more apparent than before. "Should we still go, though? General Moustache-something invited us to go so…," she half-whispered.
Levi made a face and she said, "But if you don't wanna go I'd totally understand. We'll just tell him we got the stomach bugs or something."
"No, okay, we'll go."
"Are you sure, Captain? Because-"
"Just step in the goddamn car, Petra."
As the carriage door was shut, Petra sat opposite Levi but scooted a little to the left so she wouldn't have to face him literally. Not that he's looking at her anyway.
But he was looking at her. Or she felt him looking at her.
"Is something on my face, Captain?"
"Many things are on your face, Petra, like eyes."
Yeah, and you know what else? Lips are also on my face, Captain. Levi could be so infuriating that Petra couldn't help but wonder why she liked him so much.
"We'll just eat pie and then go."
"Oooh yes. I love the blueberry pie they make there." She kind of regretted saying it thinking that maybe they still went because Levi knew she liked- wait, she's just imagining things. Maybe he wanted to endure a night full of social activities that's what. Just leave little ol' Petra stuffing her face with food and Levi to talk with the old folks. She suddenly felt like a five-year-old taken to a dessert store.
"Yeah, I remember you stuffed yourself full of it last year," he said looking out the window.
Petra hadn't finished processing the fact that Levi remembered her attraction to blueberry pie a year ago when he continued, "You should slow down this time though, I need you to steer the old fuckers away."
"As in...?"
"As in making me look like I'm busy talking to you?"
"You want me to accompany you all night?"
"What else you're gonna do then if not that?"
"Well, I ... I guess we could share pie…." She couldn't hide her blush forming on her face. She knew it was all pretend but being in her occupation, it was kind of rare getting this kind of male attention. Well, at least she could ogle his face as long as she liked.
What the fuck did you just think, Petra? Ogle? Do you ogle your superior officer's face?
The blush in her face deepened. Bless the cloudy sky tonight, there was no moonlight to give her red face away.
"Are you okay, Petra? You look like crabs out of the boiling pot."
But he saw it anyway.
As they arrived at the gathering, general this and that came and of course they both (mostly Petra though) had to do the honors of small talk, y'know, how's your wife? Is the baby learning to walk yet? Levi mostly nodded his way through the night, feeling almost ... at ease, having Petra with him fighting all of his 'battles'. Either that or this 810 wine they served at this party.
"I'm surprised you're not wasting your time by being a grumpy wallflower in some corner, Levi. I guess it's all thanks to you, Miss Ral," Commander Smith said to them after they smooth-talked some rich noble into investing their money on them. He was smiling to Levi knowingly.
Petra was about to return the compliment when her captain retorted, "If you rather I save my strength by minding my own business in some quiet and peaceful corner, I'm more than willing, Erwin. I'll just do that next year."
"I'm just thankful, Levi. You need to at least try to enjoy this kind of event more. Miss Ral," and he went to another high ranking official's circle to chat.
"He's right, though."
"Do I look like I'm not enjoying myself?" Levi grumbled.
"Well, judging by the tense shoulders and that permanent scowl, I'd say you're jolly as a joy."
Levi looked at her sharply, "Tch, I'll just drink my misery away," he said then walked to the buffet table and stood there. No doubt started his people-watching session.
The event ended as soon as boring military gatherings could be. Well, not so boring for her as for her captain. He looked like he would choke General Moustache if it went for a minute longer.
They left the hall with the same carriage. But this time Petra was sitting beside Levi, not close but not far enough. She didn't know exactly why though, just that it felt right. He didn't complain.
"Where are we staying, Captain?"
"We'll just ride back?" Levi said, more like a question at the end. Since when did Petra's hair glow in the moonlight?
Looking at the horseman, too drunk for his own good, Petra didn't want to risk coming back without a captain. "Yeah, I don't think that's possible-" as she caught Levi leaning into her, two drunk men were not a very good equation for a trip home.
"I know a place," Levi grunted.
"Then I think it's best to stay there and get some sleep, Captain."
Levi's head bobbed weakly, signaling a nod. Petra couldn't quite catch what he was saying to the horseman but she felt the carriage moved faster after that. She could only hope he was sober enough to see which way is which.
Apparently, he was. They stopped in front of a two-story building with white-painted walls and many windows, some were lit and some were pitch dark. Too small for a hotel but too large for a house, an inn maybe?
Levi still carried himself fine apparently. Posture still straight as he walked into the inn ahead of her. Not too drunk then.
The interior wasn't very fancy but somewhat it was pleasant, like home. They neared the reception desk, an old lady greeted them kindly. Why isn't she asleep at this hour?
Petra drew her attention to their surroundings. There were paintings on the wall, flowers in the corners of the room, and-
"I'm very sorry, sir, but that's all we have available for you tonight. The bed is large enough for two, though."
What?
"No, one bed is never large enough for two people-"
"I can assure you-"
"-who aren't a couple."
"Oh."
"Yes, oh."
"I'm too tired to care that much," Petra admitted. Levi huffed.
"Thoughts?" Petra asked one more time. Levi shook his head.
He was too tired and drunk to problem-solve right fucking now. He just wanted to lay down.
"I want to sleep," he groaned. Petra nodded.
"It'll be fine," she said after a moment. "I'm too tired to figure this out too," she said shaking her head.
Once they arrived at their room, they both shrugged off their coats. Petra held Levi's coat and pretended she took her time disposing of them so she wouldn't have to face the awkward moment of choosing which side of the bed she would sleep in.
Of course she would have the space farthest of the room closest to the narrow wall. Great.
"How many pillows do you usually use, Petra?" he asked, hands on his hips.
If it weren't for his flushed cheeks, Levi didn't appear drunk by the look of his posture.
"One is okay, but usually two though", she answered.
Curious to what Levi was doing asking that, she stepped closer to the bed finding Levi arranging some sort of 'wall' with the rest of the pillows.
"What are you doing?" she asked. Honestly though, why did this room have so many pillows in the first place?
"What?" he blinked at her. "It's safer to have a wall between us."
She wanted to say she didn't mind it at all. She was a snuggler, in fact. But decided against the idea. Snuggling with the captain was one of the things she hoped not to happen tonight, amongst other things. Instead, she grabbed another pillow and added it to the wall.
Laying down, she could barely see Levi at all. Dropping her head with a huff, she touched the pillow wall, where Levi's hand would be. "Goodnight, Captain," she murmured.
"Goodnight, Petra." She turned away smiling to the sound of his voice that rarely called her by her name so softly.
Petra tossed and turned for the nth time that night. She never had a problem sleeping in unfamiliar places before. She even slept okay during expeditions. Not really a sleep though, no one would ever be well-rested sleeping on a makeshift mattress or a tree branch, but she still managed to get shut-eye.
She was sure that she was very tired and very sleepy and was in need of a good night's rest. The bed was comfortable and the linens were clean (it was certainly clean enough up to her captain's standard because otherwise he would make a fuss about it). But she still couldn't sleep.
Well, none of those situations had her sleeping in one bed with her captain, side by side, separated by poorly arranged pillows.
Maybe that's why.
Her heartbeat fastened and her mind immediately went crazy.
Am I really in one bed with Captain Levi right now? I can't believe I'm sleeping together with my captain. Well, literally sleeping together, but still….
She turned again to face the ceiling. Apparently that was one too much movement.
"For fuck's sake Petra, if you move one more time I swear I'm gonna…."
"What, Captain?"
"I'm gonna break something, okay? Did you just fucking talk back at me?"
"Might as well engage in a chat if you can't sleep too."
"I can't sleep because you move so fucking much. I can even hear you thinking."
That better be not true.
"I'm having trouble sleeping," she spoke to the ceiling.
"Well, at least one of us is more likely to wake up with a goddamn hangover. Now, go the fuck to sleep," Levi grumbled as he rolled to his side.
The bed rustled. Again. "For fuck's sake Petra, don't fucking move."
Tired of his drunk musings Petra rolled facing the wall, "Goodnight, Captain." and the bed rustled again.
"Goddamn-"
"No, you know what? Maybe if it weren't for this stupid 'wall' you made you can sleep a little easier." Petra was sitting up on her elbows now, eyes red from lack of sleep. Weird how she said 'you' instead of 'we', as if the sleeping problems only applied to him. Was she talking about sleeping at all?
"No."
"No?"
"I don't want to put down this wall."
"Why?" she challenged.
"I don't trust myself," he whispered.
"Maybe you should give it a chance."
Not giving him a beat to answer she continued, "I used to tell myself that I don't need anybody. My mother died when I was young, my father worked to provide for us so he wasn't home a lot. I kinda got used to it. The feeling of loneliness. It's comforting, actually. I wake up alone, made food for myself, went to school and then back again. All of it was pretty mundane until...," she paused, feeling like she was reading a bedtime story to a toddler.
"Until?"
It suddenly dawned on her then that she just told her childhood loneliness to Captain Levi, her commanding officer in Special Operations Squad. Who noticed her in training grounds and handpicked her to join his team. Who was always the first one to wake up every morning and waited for her to brew him (and the rest of the team) coffee and said "Thank you, Petra" after she handed him his cup, one of the things she always looked forward to each morning. Who swore profanities on a daily basis but actually remembered everyone's birthday and congratulated them awkwardly (he even gave her a bar of chocolate on her birthday three weeks ago, she assumed it was the same case for everyone). Who was strict but also caring, harsh but kind, a walking paradox.
Whom she couldn't help but had a hopeless crush on.
By then the person in question was tearing down the pillow-wall closest to their heads. His face to her, eyes tired but still so intense. "Petra?"
Petra startled, brought back to reality by his concerned voice, "Um, sorry, Captain. I mean ... until I started to live with the team. They made me learn how to be comfortable around other people, you made me comfortable around you."
Levi was silent for a long time. Petra was about to revise her (questionable?) statement when he spoke, "So this is okay?" he made a gesture with his hand that swayed between them.
"Yes, I told you I don't need the stupid wall."
"Alright, then." Levi sat up and began to toss the separating pillows to the floor.
He looked at her after the last pillow was removed, "There. No stupid wall."
"Right. Goodnight, Captain." Petra said as she turned to face the wall adding a few inches of space between them for good measure. When Levi said he didn't trust himself, she really felt like it was her thoughts being read aloud. But I guess one night won't hurt, right?
.
Levi's head was pounding. The birds chirping outside made the pounding worse and worse. Not only was his head pounding, but his body was stiff, his muscles sore.
He groaned, but the sound reverberated through his head, and he winced, his eyes squeezing tighter shut as slivers of light shone through the curtains.
"Nooo," a soft voice moaned.
He cracked open an eye, relieved it was morning already, though it didn't help negate the pounding right behind his face. Turned out Petra fucking moved from the other side of the bed and was curled up around his left arm, her face pressed tight into it.
Part of him was relieved because he kept his end of the bargain, yet another part panicked because he kind of trusted her when she said she didn't need the wall between them.
Well, she fuckin' got through it. Caught him off guard. You name it.
Levi shifted, his eyes squeezing shut again as he let out a heavy breath. This snuggling fiend. He couldn't remember the last time he'd woken up with a woman in his bed (tangled up in his arms, mind you) AND a hangover, but this felt worse than he imagined. I hadn't even been that drunk last night, had I?
He took a moment, hoping his head would settle, and when it evened out to a dull thumping, he forced himself out of bed. He moved slowly, getting up and heading to the bathroom without turning on the light.
He fumbled his way, barely resisting sticking his head under the faucet as he washed his hands.
When he was done, he stumbled out to the room again. Petra was sitting up in bed, her hair a wild nest around her head. She blinked at him through the dim light of the room, and he sauntered in her direction as he passed.
She shook her head, rubbing at her eyes. "Holy hell, what was in that wine? I only had one glass!" She croaked. Levi grunted as he laid back on the bed. Petra reached up, her fists rubbing her eyes. Maybe he was still drunk, but even looking rumbled and hungover, she was beautiful.
Petra got out of bed, not realizing she got out of it easily because she was on Levi's side, not looking at him as she now made her way to the bathroom, Levi gave her backside a what one might call an 'appreciative look' for a beat too long and when the door shut, he groaned again, throwing an arm over his eyes.
I'm in some serious fucking trouble.
Last night, his walls had come down, and so did hers and he was fucking terrified now to know how that would change shit between them.
Vulnerability was not his fucking strong suit.
Levi heard the bathroom door open, and he moved his arm, looking up at Petra. She stuffed a hand up into her hair, making it look even wilder as she moved back to the bed. He felt the mattress shift as she sat on the other side, sitting up against the headboard. "What time should we leave?" she croaked. He shrugged, going home now or later wasn't going to change the fact that he might be attracted to her.
Fuck.
"I don't fucking know," he groaned. Petra frowned and threw the covers over her. "Ugh."
Levi sat up, looking for a clock. There was a small one on his bedside table, and he stared at the numbers, his eyes bleary. "It's either six or nine now," Levi said after a minute. Petra looked at him with a frown. He looked back at the clock, trying to refocus. "Fuck, six." Petra let out a heavy breath as he settled back on the bed.
"I'm not young enough to drink like that anymore," Levi said after a minute.
Petra grunted a laugh, "Hey, you're not that old. You look just fine to me."
Petra looked at him, and for a second, her eyes cleared and focused on him, and he tried to avoid shifting under her laser gaze.
"I had a good time, though," she said softly.
He let out a nervous breath. "Yeah," he said after a minute. "So did I."
"So ... not a problem?" Her eyes darting here and there, there was no way she could avoid his penetrating gaze.
Levi looked at her and was about to ask what the hell did she mean by that when Petra continued, "For future reference. I mean if-"
"No."
"No?"
"Not a problem. You're not a bad sleeping companion. Only need to be less fidgety."
Petra grinned which turned into a chuckle as she retorted, "You too. Though I prefer the less grumpy version."
She just realized how bold of her to say something like that to her frigid captain after the sentence was out of her mouth. However friendly he was with his subordinates, she still didn't know how he would react to that. This was easily their most casual conversation with underlying humor within it. Not that they hadn't bantered like this before but this seemed different. This felt more ... intimate?
The situation with them in the same bed only added to the fact.
Levi chuckled and he smiled at her, or smirked, more like, "I'm not changing myself, you should deal with it," he said.
That was certainly unexpected.
"I could get used to it," she replied.
What was this? Did they just kind of assume that there would be next time? Did Levi just hint that he would not mind if they shared a bed again? Involuntary or not? Could it be that her feelings weren't really one-sided?
The more she thought about it the more conflicted she was. The fact that they were a subordinate and superior officer in direct command wasn't helping either. However, this new development in their relationship, dared she called it that, was very dangerous but also very exciting. In this extremely uncertain life they had, she welcomed every little happiness she could get.
"Should do it without the booze next time." Levi's low voice stopped her busy mind.
"Agreed," Petra smiled.
So, I'm back. Finally. This came as a result of me and my friend's chatting about this prompt and we ended up throwing paragraphs after paragraphs of narration and dialogues. This is our take on rivetra in one of the most popular fanfiction trope. From me and my friend, april21st, to you. Thank you for reading!
-Seiba