Meredith stood at the nurses station, filling out her paperwork for the day. She had so much going on, she could barely think about the paperwork she was filling out. After they had gotten back from New York, Lexie had been distant, she was suffering from the worst morning sickness she ever had, and to top it off the hospital was currently going through a law suit which made everything much worse at work. A patient and an intern had started a romantic relationship and she forged documents to get him higher on the transplant list. Work life was hectic, home life was even more hectic with settling into living with another man again. Zoe still hadn't spoken to Meredith much since the news broke and life was just full of stress.
"How much longer you think?" Derek said as he whisked around her, propping himself on the nurses station.
"I-uh maybe fifteen minutes?" She shuffled through the files of notes beside her she was inputting on the electronic chart files.
"Take-out sound good?" He asked, knowing she wasn't going to cook.
"That's fine," she nodded, distracted by so much going through her mind.
"Are you ok?" He asked, noticing how she was acting.
"Yes," she nodded. "No."
"What's going on?" He wanted to comfort her, even with just a hand across her shoulder but he kept his distance at work.
"There's just so much. Morning sickness is kicking my ass, Lexie is avoiding me, Zoe hates me," she sighed, trying to hold back the tears that begged to fall. Pregnancy hormones raged her body and mind, she had never had such a rough pregnancy, she had every single symptom plus more.
"Mer, Zoe doesn't hate you. For a long time, it was just me and her. Us against the world. Then she went from being an only child to a sister to three in a year. She will adjust, she adores you," he looked around a second before grabbing her hand, squeezing it just a bit for reassurance.
"I know that, my pregnancy brain doesn't ," she laughed nervously.
"Let's do something tonight, maybe play a game with the kids," he suggested.
"Sounds good," she smiled, looking around before going in for a quick kiss. His lips met hers, it was short and sweet. Something she wanted to do everyday for the rest of her life. He winked at her before hurrying off, watching behind him for a second before he turned the corner.
"What's been up with lexipedia?" Cristina asked as she came from behind, startling Meredith. Cristina had been distant since Burke filed for divorce and left the hospital.
"I don't know, she's been weird," Meredith replied.
"I know. Do you think Mark did something?"
"No, Derek would have told me but to come to think of it, Mark and Derek haven't been speaking much either."
"She's taking her boards in a few months, maybe she's worried?" Cristina offered then they both started laughing.
"Who am I kidding, she probably has every single textbook memorized," Cristina laughed again.
"I don't know, I'll try to find out. She never goes this long without talking to me," Meredith nodded and was now on a mission. She searched high and low through the hospital, checking on-call rooms, the basement, and even bathrooms. She couldn't find Lexie anywhere when she suddenly passed Mark who was too involved in his cell phone to even notice Meredith.
"Mark! Where's Lexie?" Meredith stood in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.
"I don't know," he lied.
"You're lying. She hasn't barely said two words to me the last two weeks. Is she mad about the pregnancy?" Meredith asked.
"No, that's not it," he shook his head and tried to bypass Meredith.
"So there is something," she quickly stepped in front of him again.
"Just talk to her," he shook her head and walked right past her. Meredith huffed, very annoyed at the fact they were avoiding her. She had to find out what Lexie was hiding. She began rushing down the hall, her pager began buzzing loudly. She groaned at the noise, she was exhausted and didn't have the energy to deal with another trauma, it was almost time for her to end her shift. With a small groan She quickly hurried down the hall to the elevator and down to the ER. She was met with a frantic Mark as he was shouting orders.
"What the hell!" Meredith froze when she saw the body laying on the gurney, her heart sank.
"Get them out of here Shepherd," Bailey shouted at Derek that was trying his best to stay calm.
"No, I'm staying!" Meredith tried to fight Derek grabbing her, "that's my sister." She began to cry.
"Mer, she's going to be ok," Derek tried to say calmly.
"How did this happen?" Mark was just as confused, "I just talked to her, she was almost here. I told her to be careful."
"Mark, you know how bad it is outside, she lost control and it hydroplaned. It isn't anyone's fault," Derek said to him, patting his arm, trying to comfort him. You could hear the pain in his voice, he had been in his same position.
"I can't lose my sister, I just can't," Meredith sobbed uncontrollably, "she's all I have Derek. My only family. I can't lose her."
"You won't. She is in the best care," he quickly pulled her into a tight embrace.
"She's pregnant," Mark had tears running down his cheeks as the words fell from his mouth. Mark was not a cryer, he didn't cry.
"What?" Meredith quickly pulled away from Derek, staring at Mark.
"We just found out when we got back from New York. She wanted to tell you but she was waiting for the right moment."
"Oh my god," Meredith cried harder. The three of them sat outside the trauma bay, listening to the ruckus from inside the bay as they were saving Lexie's life. It was silent between them, no words being spoken as they hoped for the best for her. It was like a ticking bomb waiting for any word from them. They all jumped up immediately when they heard the door open behind them.
"Bailey, what's going on?" Meredith tried to peek around her to see what was going on.
"Listen, we are doing the best we can. She has a brain bleed in her frontal lobe, we are accessing the other injuries while trying to stabilize her. Amelia is going to go in, release the inter-cranial pressure and access the damage from there. I need someone to sign these convent forms," She handed them over to Meredith who quickly scribbled her name. From then, it was a blur. They stood back as they watched what looked like the entire hospital staff empty her room as they quickly ran to the operating room.
"Mark," Meredith looked at him with teary eyes. His eyes swollen from the crying he had been doing.
"I can't," he shook his head, turning to head to the waiting room.
"He's under a lot right now," Derek pulled her into a tight embrace.
"Go get the kids, don't let them know anything. Just tell them I'm working late and I'll be home later," she whispered to him, holding on as though he would slip right through her arms.
"Ok," he nodded, kissing the side of her head. He hated to leave her, it was so hard for him to watch her in so much pain. He wanted so badly to be there for her, in all her pain she had suffered in her entire lifetime, she didn't deserve to go through this alone.
Meredith sat, watching the clock. It seemed like it was stuck on the same time since she sat down though four hours had passed. She was exhausted, she called Thatcher, he was at some kind of conference in Los Angeles and was taking the first flight out. Mark paced the room, a path of his footsteps left on the ground. He had barely spoken, his face was full of worry, the noticeable aging showing in his frown lines. She hadn't spoke up, she wasn't sure what to say. She couldn't find the words to complete a sentence. She had lost so many people in her life, it should just come natural but it seems like each time it gets harder. Her whole body ached, she couldn't tell if it was the baby or she was starving, but she felt something in her stomach.
"Hey Mark, I'm going to grab something from the cafeteria before they close. Do you want me to grab you anything?" She offered, she needed to stretch out her body. He just shook his head, he finally sat down. She walked down the hall, stretching all her limbs out. The ladies in the cafeteria had started cleaning up, so Meredith grabbed a pre-made salad and a water. She wasn't very hungry as she sat and picked through the salad, the worry and guilt sunk too deep in her stomach to eat. She decided to call and check on the kids, the phone rang twice before Derek answered.
"Hello?" He asked, you could hear the television behind his voice.
"Hey, how are the kids?" She asked.
"Good. How is she?"
"I haven't heard much, they got the bleeding in her brain stopped but she was still losing blood steadily so they are doing an exploratory laparotomy. They think it might be from her spleen."
"How's Mark?"
"He's quiet, I have never seen him so quiet."
"I don't think it was this bad when Dad died, maybe we were too young to really process it then."
"I don't know what to say to him."
"He won't want to talk about it."
"I know. I wish you were here," she said with a whisper in her voice, she needed him badly. Her heart ached for his comforting touch.
"Me too. I could ask Alex to come over," he offered.
"No, the kids will know something is up," she denied.
"Ok, keep me updated please," he said.
"I will," she said before hanging up the phone. She threw away her half-eaten salad and slowly walked back to the waiting area. Mark was sitting in the same spot, his tired eyes showed no sign of life inside. She knew exactly what it felt like, she sat in the chair next to him.
"You know, we can talk if you want?" She offered.
"I can't lose her, she's the only thing in this life I can't live without," he broke down, shoving his face into his hands.
"I know, this is awful," Meredith began to tear up again, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder blade and rubbing circles.
"I was so excited when she showed me that positive pregnancy test Mer, like I just knew she would be an amazing mother. She had doubts with her boards coming up and everything but we were starting a family, you know?" He just continued to cry as he let the words slip right out of his mouth. The way he spoke about her, he had a sparkle in his eye when he spoke her name. She knew he loved her sister with everything in him.
"She's going to be alright, she has to be. I mean, it's Lexie. She's our rock," Meredith gulped. She had a feeling in her gut. They both shot up when they saw Bailey walking toward the pair.
"How is she?" Mark blurted. Bailey paused for a second, it was like she wasn't sure how to say what needed to be said.
"Oh no, oh god no," Meredith said frantically, shaking her head vigorously.
"She's in a medically induced coma right now, we are giving her body time to heal. She has been through a lot, we had to do a complete splenectomy to get control of the bleeding and placed a rod in her left leg where it was shattered," Bailey said in one breath.
"She's alive?" Meredith said.
"She's a fighter," Bailey nodded in response.
"What about the baby?" Mark asked, running his hand through his hair.
"Baby has a heartbeat, we will control the best we can for right now but with how much stress her body has been through, there is still a possibility of miscarriage," Bailey sighed, knowing this wasn't what he wanted to hear.
"Thank you Bailey," Meredith said with relief. Though they weren't out of the water, especially with the potential brain damage she suffered, she was alive.