Negative delta is the beginning of fun

by Lajt Hane

Hiccup thought that this day couldn't get any worse. And there he was, in the boy's bathroom, trapped with Dagur and the school's prankster and star - Jack - who was claiming to be Hiccup's boyfriend. And he only wanted to clean his sweater…

10. Chapter 10 - Dalton's law

Pairing: Jack x Hiccup

Genre: Romance, Drama + Angst

Warning: NC-17/T

Warning: only half beta-read

All characters belong to Cressida Cowell, William Joyce and DreamWorks Studio. May contain some OOCness.

---

Dalton's law – in a mixture of non-reacting gases, the total pressure exerted is equal to the sum of the partial pressures of the individual gases.

"And remember to call us every day."

"Every day?!"

"Okay, every two days."

"Make that three!"

"Okay, every three days!" Tuffnut shouted, throwing his hands in the air and groaning loudly at the end. "Bargaining with you is just the worst!"

Fishlegs smiled proudly and pushed the backpack higher on his shoulders.

All of them were currently standing in a tight circle in the middle of the platform. They were not quite in a good mood while waiting for Fishlegs' return train. There were quite a lot of people waiting for it too, many of them also huddled together to get warm in the cold and white world around them.

Hiccup buried his chin further into his scarf. He wasn't good with goodbyes. He never knew what to say and it was often coming out more morbid than he intended it to be. But at least Tuffnut and Ruffnut weren't good at those too, always getting teary and plaintive – even though they all knew that they would see each other again, they were still saddened and bummed out by the fact that they will only get to see each other again, only after a long time; a year? half a year? Or maybe only after few months, depending on the money and free time.

"Did you pack everything?" Astrid asked instead, butting into their conversation.

"I guess?..." Fishlegs replied, with doubt clearly vibrating in his voice.

"I'll send it to you if I'll find anything in my room that belongs to you." Hiccup quickly added, waving his hand, but quickly putting it back under his armpit.

Fishlegs sent him a grateful smile and turned back.

Hiccup will definitely miss being with his best friend. These last few days had been filled with almost never ending amount of laughs, movies, scientific conversations, and simply fun. Well, Hiccup had lots of fun while spending time with other people, but there wasn't a person who understood him more - in some specific parts - than Fishlegs.

He liked to be alone, but sometimes it was too much, even for him (yeah, seriously though, it really was). And it even kinda looked like Toothless would miss the guest too. But maybe only because Fishlegs had been giving the cat treats almost every hour.

There was a sudden commotion where people started to get up from their seats and gather their belongings under their arms. There were kisses and soft pecks on cheeks. There were hugs and tears, and loud voices of farewells and people wishing to their loved one's - a good trip.

"I think it's my cue." Fishlegs said. Unfortunately, he was right as the train passed them in this very moment.

"Remember to write!" Tuffnut shouted, nudging at Fishlegs' arm.

"Take care of yourself." Ruffnut ruffled his hair.

"Don't get killed!" Snotlout patted his shoulder, with the oh-so familiar (and a little bit evil) smirk that he always guns.

Astrid scoffed, but smiled warmly right after.

"Stay warm. And write to me when you'll be up for some co-op!" Typical Astrid.

Hiccup didn't really know what to add. All of his sentences were mingled in his head, dulled, and then simply evaporated, not leaving even a trace amount of the general, basic idea of what to say. See, this was what he was talking about!

"Write to me when you'll get home, okay?" He finally said.

Fishlegs then initiated a group hug (in which Hiccup was forced to participate). Then the crowd which started to gather around doors stole Fishlegs away, who disappeared quickly in this mess.

Hiccup felt his stomach drop. He corrected the scarf around his neck, feeling some kind of valve closing inside his throat. Yes, goodbyes were definitely terrible - well, for him anyways.

They couldn't see Fishlegs through any of the windows. Even when Ruffnut and Tuffnut screamed and shouted - which only resulted in them receiving a few glares being casted at their direction. He probably sat on the opposite side.

The train came to life a minute later, which was adjacently accompanied by a soft shushing sounds of closing doors. One tug of electricity, and then the machine moved smoothly on the rails, driving away from the platform and taking his friend with it and away from them.

The weird feeling inside Hiccup's chest didn't want to subside, and he knew that it would leave a residue inside of him for few more hours. They all stared in the direction where the blue train had disappeared, only to slowly turn around after a minute, then stepping down the escalator.

Ruffnut, Tuffnut and Snotlout were at the front, talking with each other, but more quiet than usual. They had work in few minutes, so when they got out of the railway station, the trio of doom quickly bid the two of them goodbyes, after which, they almost ran to the twin's car to get to their restaurant on time.

Back when they first had told Hiccup, that they had work, he snorted at the information. Twins, Snotlout and work? It's just didn't add in Hiccup's mind. They were crazy and unbelievable, so at first he wasn't sure if they could really keep up with an actually job – getting up early, being nice to customers, not acting ridiculously during shifts. But they had surprised him, in a very nice way. And Hiccup, deep inside, was very proud of them. They were collecting money to go to College – another idea that totally shook Hiccup inside. But they stuck to the plan, putting every dollar they got from the payment on a special account.

People grow up. Even during times when you don't expect them to.

And when Hiccup stared at the twins and Snotlout – as they waved their hands at them, as they got into the car with Ruffnut checking the phone one more time, only to start the engine and disappear into the gray line of similar cars – he felt like slowly, they were moving to some point in their lives where everything would change. Twins and Snotlout would go to College, probably a few cities away. Jack and his group was also about to end High School and even though they didn't actually talk about it, Hiccup knew that all of them wanted to study somewhere.

It would leave only him and Astrid here. In Burgess. All alone.

This idea terrified him. But it was selfish, so he quickly hid his emotions under covers, blocked them and/or froze it in liquid nitrogen*. He didn't want to think like that. They still had time together. Right?

But how long?

"Hey…" Astrid nudged Hiccup's shoulder. Surprisingly, it was quite gentle, considering that it was Astrid. They were slowly moving to the outskirts of town. "Doing anything in particular today?"

Hiccup shook his head, getting rid of every last ounce of the bad thoughts which was overpowered him, just few a seconds ago.

"No, not really." He answered, turning to her. "Why do you ask?"

And by the hesitant smile with hints of embarrassment precipitating in the form of a light blush on her cheeks, Hiccup immediately knew what she wanted from him.

"Because you know… tomorrow is school and…"

Hiccup groaned.

"You want me to help you with your homework, right?" He asked.

"Pretty please!" Astrid stopped and turned to him, while she clasped her hands together, bowing at the end. "I really need your help!"

Hiccup wasn't really surprised. He maybe would be, if this wasn't like the eighth time she had done this in their life. Besides, he didn't really want to return to his empty house right now.

"Okay, but you owe me." Which wasn't the truth. Hiccup would do it for free, but he had to bargain a little, just for fun.

"New book?" Astrid asked, sinking into her scarf and raising her eyebrow.

Ah, the typical payment. Who could judge Hiccup? He was a person who liked to have a lot of books and to be allowed to read them whenever he felt like it.

"A hardcover copy, throw in a Toblerone and we have a deal." Hiccup said confidently, rising his face and closing his eyes. He wanted to smugly push his glasses higher, but he only resulted in accidentally putting his finger in his eye. So… so much for that.

Astrid chuckled.

"You're getting more expensive every year." She said, which meant that she accepted the payment.

"We have to respect ourselves, our knowledge and time!" Hiccup said, pointing to the sky and puffing his chest out proudly. "Those aren't cheap stuff!"

Astrid nudged his side, almost sending him into a giant pile of snow.

"Yeah, yeah, let's test this knowledge of yours at my house."

---

Astrid wasn't a lazy person. She was a member of a basketball team and had good grades. Only she tended to… procrastinate a lot when there was too much free time. Weekends weren't a problem, but when there was more than three free days… then it started to get fun (tricky!). The fun always ended in her doing homework on the last day. And, of course, with Hiccup helping her.

Gladly she was quickly catching on, with what Hiccup was explaining to her, so they didn't spend too much time on homeworks. Only till the evening, and most of the time they had spent talking while writing down equations or listening to music while writing essays.

Astrid's parents sent dinner to her room and chatted with Hiccup for a little bit. They were always very kind and nice to him, but acted totally like their daughter (or to be more appropriate, she was acting totally like them). Hiccup remembered well, how Astrid's mother had patted him once on the back while laughing – and it was quite a painful memory.

And because tomorrow they had school, Astrid's mother drove Hiccup home when they were finished. They weren't living that far away, he could be at his doorsteps in ten minutes, but the woman insisted. So he packed himself in her car and in four minutes they were in front of his house. At least he didn't have to freeze in the weather.

Hiccup quickly said hello to his father, gave food to Toothless who scolded him while meowing loudly and then finally returned to his room.

It felt so empty, and... hollow, without the additional mattress on the floor, without clothes and bags of chips scattered everywhere, and without the presence of his friend.

Hiccup exhaled... slowly, and threw his bag on his bed, observing as the quilt rose an inch in the air, then landing graciously down. He actually was so tired, that he could fall asleep right here, right now. Even though it was only 9 pm, he was quite tired and sleepy, because he hadn't got much sleep last week. However there were still a few things that needed to be done.

With a loud sigh, Hiccup moved to his laptop, sat down and opened it with one swift motion, clicking the button. It was only when he wanted to put in his password, that he saw the bent paper laying on the keyboard.

What the heck?

He took the paper and slowly unfolded it, only to stare at the row of numbers written neatly in the middle. Hiccup didn't recognize it, and he has quite good memory with numbers.

He glanced down at the much smaller writing in the corner of the page.

"No need to thank me xP. Use wisely."

He knew this style of writing. A few hours ago, Hiccup even said goodbye to him at the platform.

But why did Fishlegs gave him some random phone number? Huh, weird.

And maybe it was sleep deprivation or tiredness or incognitive thinking, or the simple impossibility of such occurrence to happen, but he understood what he was holding a minute later.

He was holding Aster's phone number! He had seen Fishlegs and Aster exchanging numbers during New Year Eve! Oh-my-gosh! Oh my gosh! Great Newton! Astonishing Skłodowska-Curie! He had the most beautiful row of numbers in his palms!

Feeling something boiling inside his stomach, Hiccup quickly stood up, but only to frantically jump and frolic on his bed, and bury his face into his pillows, then to not so nicely squeal inside of them. Yep, good that Astrid didn't see it. She wouldn't stop bringing it up! Not even for the next ten years!

But even he had to act like a love-sick… someone.

He quickly fished his phone out of his backpack and was just about to add a new contact when he saw that he had one new message.

Ah, yeah, from Jack.

The name didn't kill the sudden exothermic reaction inside his stomach, but it made him regain some of his normal ways of thinking. He shouldn't act head over heels just for having one number…

Yeah, honestly though, he shouldn't.

'But it was Aster's number!' – one part of Hiccup mumbled excitedly.

'So what? It's not like you are going to write to him' – said the other Hiccup inside his brain, nonchalantly checking his fingernails.

Unfortunately, he had to agree with the more realistic one by sighing loudly. Well yeah, he couldn't imagine himself writing to Aster. Yeah, he really couldn't fathom such a... blissful scenario. How should he even start? 'Hey! I got your number from Fishlegs. What's up?' It sounded normal and casual, but ugh!… it was just off! He couldn't simply write to a person with whom he rarely talks! Aster would definitely immediately understand what was going on in Hiccup's brain!

'Or maybe you could!' – shouted the first Hiccup, puffing out his cheeks and stomping loudly, trying to stand tall on the ground.

Heh, unlikely.

But maybe… Just maybe…

He glanced on his screen, at still unopened message from Jack. Would it be bad if Hiccup started talking with Aster? Hiccup, of course, approved the idea of being free to talk with whomever you wanted in a relationship, but… argh…

However even Jack had once proposed helping him with Aster, so... there was no way Jack would get angry at Hiccup for that. Right? Right… Right!?

This was all too complicated – couldn't there be simpler options – yes or no, two positions of a switch? Apparently not. Hehh, as usual…

Hiccup glanced at the paper now laying on the pillow, a little bit crumpled, probably due to his sudden outburst of joy, happiness, then sadness on his bed.

It wouldn't hurt anyone if he wrote it on his phone? Right? It can't hurt anyone…

And so Hiccup thought.

Hiccup reached and grabbed the paper, smoothening and caressing the edges and reading the row of numbers one more time. He opened the correct tab and started to enter them in, one by one. He re-checked if he entered them correctly, five times more, and only then, he clicked the 'OK' button at the very bottom.

Contact saved

Hiccup exhaled loudly, releasing the air that he didn't know, he was holding for way too long, inside his now burning lungs.

He did it. He saved the number on his phone. Yay!...

Giggling under his nose, Hiccup opened Jack's tab and slowly typed the message. He had to correct it at least three times because his fingers were shaking from the excitement still running through his veins.

Maybe it wasn't much, but it was enough for Hiccup, to make him feel... all whole again.

---

Coming back to school was kind of good for Hiccup. He could return to his normal routine, consisting of waking up, going to school, doing homework and few simple jobs for other additional labs. He really liked when he had everything planned out. It gave him a good feeling of control over his life, no matter how small his power actually was.

And to be honest, he missed his additional labs – putting on his dirty, stained, now gray coat and mixing ingredients for small projects. The familiar smell of chemicals, which at the beginning had been irritating, now he welcomed with a sigh. Same old good things.

New Year started but everything was still the same. The same… for two weeks…

Hiccup sighed, as he yet gathered another fraction from the chromatography column. It was the seventeenth one and he had a feeling he would get at least a dozen more today. Every bottle was marked and was waiting in a box for further analysis.

The rest of the people from Chemistry Club already had left, leaving only Hiccup and another girl – a freshman, sitting in the corner, totally enamored by the rotary evaporator she was currently using.

Hiccup had time for himself. Even the teacher hid in his office, leaving only the two of them alone in the laboratory. Hiccup didn't mind nor was surprised by it. It happened a lot actually.

Everything was the same as before the holidays. The small group consisting of him, Astrid, Jack, Tooth and Aster still hung out a lot around the school, but he couldn't brush away the feeling that something changed. Some small particle – an impurity – found its way in the chemical bound which they had formed.

Because maybe… maybe it was only his imagination, but Hiccup had a feeling that Jack was moving away from him. It was visible in normal things they did. When they were standing together in the corridor, Jack was a little bit farther away than usual, he wasn't messaging Hiccup as much as he used to and sometimes he even excused himself to go somewhere when they were going to a classroom in the same wing.

Maybe Hiccup wasn't a genius in terms of relationships, but at least he had a very cunning eye. And this wasn't normal.

He would lie, if he said that he hadn't enjoyed these short two minutes of walking beside Aster to the classroom when Jack had disappeared somewhere yet again. He did. And it sort of felt terrible. Hiccup did nothing wrong, yet it still felt… wrong in all places.

He sighed, rolling the phone in his hand and observing the liquid dripping into the flask. One drop, two drops, three drops, he had at least five more minutes of free time.

He waited for a response from Jack, but it wasn't coming for half an hour now, so he kind of gave up. Maybe the teen was simply busy. Maybe he was doing something important like homework (unlikely, but it was a possibility). Maybe he was spending time with his family. Maybe he simply was ignoring Hiccup…

This thought wasn't very appealing. Besides, it was un-Jack-like to ignore someone.

Then what was happening?

Hiccup groaned and crossed his hands on the table in front of him, resting his head on them.

What was happening with his friends lately? Astrid and her bursting and yelling at twins, then Ruffnut talking with Eret and now Jack and his flowing away behavior. Did Hiccup just step into alternative universe or what?

No, that was stupid. It was just life. And life wasn't constant. It was a weird function, with a lot of inflection's points, sometimes flowing above the x-axis and sometimes below. And it looked like Hiccup was now on the drop of the line. Just how long until it'll be going up again?

Hiccup twirled the phone in his hand. He looked up and, after waiting one more minute, collected another fraction. He labeled it with number eighteen and put with the rest of them.

Does he really have to wait for the function to turn around? Can't he do something with it? Jumping in time to the future was, of course, impossible, but maybe he can affect the present somehow? Only how…

Hiccup wasn't very good at dealing with people, so asking straightforward about the problem wasn't really his thing. Plus he kind of had a feeling Jack wouldn't even say him the truth. He would probably brush it off as something unimportant and ask about Hiccup's day. It irritated the auburn haired teen to no end, but he also had his own quirks, so he more over understood it.

So maybe he could get to the point from the opposite side, like not even from Jack's side? Even though Jack was a very social person, he didn't open so easily to people around him. But Hiccup knew some people who were very close to Jack.

Aster and Tooth.

And Hiccup indeed had Aster's number. It was there, in his contact list, taunting him to write. But even two weeks after the New Year. Hiccup still didn't find the courage to do so.

So Tooth was it. However Hiccup didn't have her phone number. They weren't even friends on Facebook! But he knew someone who could have her number. Astrid. She definitely had her number…

This seemed like a good plan. Tooth could help him.

Drip, drip, drip…

Nodding to himself, Hiccup opened a message window and wrote a quick, simple:

Hey, weird question. Do you maybe have Tooth's phone number? D:

Yeah, easy.

Hiccup opened his contact list. Oh, here she was, almost at the very top. Man, his contact list was very, very short.

"Uhm, Hiccup?

He snapped his head up, turning around to the freshman who was also in the laboratory beside him. His finger floated above the contact's name.

"Yes?" He asked.

The girl glanced warily at the column in front of him.

"I think you need to change your receiver like… right now." She pointed with her head at the equipment.

Hiccup turned around and yelped. There was already a transparent poodle on the tile under the receiver. Oh, no, no, no, no!

He threw his phone somewhere on the desk, accidentally brushing the screen, but he didn't care at this point. His precious nineteenth fraction! Almost in the blink of an eye, Hiccup swapped the overflowing receiver with an empty one. Using paper towels he started to clean the outside surface of the gloss flask.

The poodle on the table wasn't gladly big. Three or maybe four centimeters in width and length. Now he could only hope there wasn't some majorly important substances there. Then this few hours would all be for nothing.

"Great…" Hiccup murmured to himself, throwing the wet paper to the special bin made for solid wastes.

After that he wrote a smudgy nineteen on the flask and put it away with the others. The crooked writing stood out, almost taunting and laughing at him for missing the point of swiping the receivers.

The sight left his lips. He wanted to hit his forehead on the table, but knew better. There were probably tons of weird shits spilled on the surface. Just his accident from few seconds ago was a confirmation of this theory. So yeah, no head banging on the surface, even if he really wanted to.

His eyes landed on his phone, so hazardously thrown away in the split second of panic attack. He bit his lip, reaching for the device and hoping that the screen wasn't cracked. The last thing he needed from the New Year was new phone.

The screen gladly wasn't broken.

Hiccup brushed his finger on the screen to finish writing a message to Astrid only to freeze midstep.

The message was already sent. But it wasn't send to Astrid, but to a person who was above her in the contact list.

Hiccup cursed his luck in the rhythm of his heart jumping to his throat.

He sent the message to Aster! Aster of all people! Why did he save his stupid phone number!? Why the heck did he write it down with Aster's real name!? Why was he above Astrid in the contact list!? Why did Aster name start with an A!? Couldn't it start with any other letter!? Maybe E!? E was a good letter too! So, why, why A?!

Now Hiccup really felt like banging his head on the table. On the second though even licking the surface seemed now like a good idea.

Why, why, why!? Why him! Why couldn't he accidentally send it to someone else!? Someone else with the name starting also with A? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Dumb. Fool. Really, he was done, kaput!

Was there some way to delete an already sent message?

Hiccup jumped in his chair when his phone vibrated, announcing new message.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…

No, Hiccup got it. He can simply explain to Aster that it was a mistake and they could totally forget about it. Right? Right. Right, right, fuck, right…

It was okay, he was okay, there was nothing to worry about. He just didn't accidentally send a message to his crush and he replied. Yup, totally normal, nothing to freak about.

Oh, the receiver was almost full.

With shaking palms Hiccup put another flask on the small platform and wrote a twenty on the previous one. The even more crooked number now seriously mocked his ability to function in such stressful situations. But come on, how can he be not stressed when his crush just answered his mistake!?

Okay, Hiccup, got it. He had to deal with it!

His eyes landed warily on the phone he had discarded when he decided that he should change the receiver.

Taking a deep breath, he took the phone back, unlocked the screen and then clicked the unopened message, closing his eyes in the process.

No, he got it. It was going to be fine.

Slowly, he lifted his one eyelid to stare at the message.

Who are you? I don't have your number saved.

Oh, oh… that could also happen.

Hiccup felt something heavy forming inside his lungs and stomach. Okay, he got it. He could totally leave it and not answer Aster. But then Bunny could ask Jack if he knew the number and Jack definitely knew the number! So in the end Aster could find out the truth…

No, Hiccup was almost an adult, so he needed to act like an adult. There was nothing wrong in accidentally writing to your crush.

Slowly, but with loudly beating heart, Hiccup tapped his response, autocorrecting few words in the process.

Sorry, Hiccup here. I was supposed to message

Astrid, but accidentally send it to you D: .

Was emoticon good at the end or will Aster think that Hiccup was too childish and wasn't taking things seriously? But the teen had made joke about microscopes and lasers back during the New Year's Eve, so maybe not?

Okay, no, that didn't matter.

Hiccup closed his eyes and clicked send.

That wasn't so bad.

He put the phone away, screen down and turned around to his chromatography column. He was seconds away from getting another fraction. He flicked his wrist to look at his watch. Late, way too late.

The girl behind him ended her experiment and now was gathering the dishes to clean them in the sink. When the soft hum of the rotary evaporator disappeared, it sounded unnaturally quiet in the laboratory. It didn't really help soothe Hiccup's wrecked mind.

He busied himself with changing the receiver and signing it. Unfortunately, he almost spilled the insides when he heard his phone vibrating.

Hiccup sat back down and reached for his phone.

One, two, three and… he unlocked the screen to look at the message.

Oh, no need to apologize. Here is Tooth's number -

And under it was a line of numbers.

Okay, so now Hiccup actually didn't need to message Astrid to ask her for the number. He saved it with shaking hands.

Should he thank Aster somehow? He did send him the number, even though he didn't have too. Maybe?

Thanks =D.

Good enough. Another message was send.

Wow, Hiccup was on a roll today. Astrid would be proud of him. Jack would be proud of him! He managed to send two messages to his crush!

Feeling content with himself, Hiccup put his phone away.

The freshman finished cleaning her apparatus, flasks and beakers and now was hiding it all in her locker. After that she closed it, gathered her things and moved to the door. Before exiting, she turned around and waved her hand at Hiccup.

He replied with a simple 'see you later'.

Now he was left alone in the laboratory (not counting the teacher in his office). It kind of sucked, especially as it was already dark outside.

Hiccup sighed and leaned on his chair.

His phone vibrated.

Oh, did Jack message him back? Finally! He was waiting for almost an hour now. Jack rarely made such long breaks between responses.

But it wasn't Jack the one who messaged him. It was Aster.

What, what, what!? Hiccup didn't expect him to reply to his last one! Hiccup thanked him already, so that was the end of the conversation, right? Right! But Aster answered him! Did it mean he wanted to talk more?

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he felt like fainting any second now.

No problem. Mind me asking what do you need it for?

Hiccup didn't definitely mind Aster prolonging their small talks, that was for sure.

But can Hiccup tell him the truth? If he told him that he needed the number to ask Tooth about Jack wouldn't it be weird? Aster and Jack were best friends too. There definitely were some things only Aster and Jack knew, but the same could be said about Jack's and Tooth's friendship.

What to do, what to do?

Hiccup could simply say that he wanted to ask Tooth about some biology question, but that would be lying and he hated it. Yet it was so easy to write it. The idea was tempting him, whispering sweet promises of not being embarrassed into his ear. Just few taps and it all would be done.

But Hiccup didn't want it.

I just wanted to ask her about Jack :).

Hiccup's finger hovered above the send button. Wouldn't his message inquire that Aster wasn't appropriate person to answer his questions? A little bit? Would even Aster think so hard about Hiccup's messages?

But maybe you can answer some of my questions?

After another fraction – tagged and put away – there was a reply.

Sure, fire away.

Don't you think he is acting weird lately?

Weird how?

Like, I don't know… Like his mood is off?

And that he is moving further and further away from Hiccup? Every day he is one step away. He is still there, next to Hiccup, pretending to be together, but there appeared a transparent wall, some kind of barricade between them.

No, I don't think so…

Oh, okay.

Or maybe Hiccup was just paranoid. Astrid always had been telling him he was overthinking things. Maybe now it was the case too.

Yet, he couldn't brush that feeling away, like some unwanted residue on the flask that didn't want to get cleaned away. He brushed and brushed, but it was still there, telling him that he did something wrong.

But what?

But if this makes you feel better

I will look out for him now.

You'll do it? Thanks =D!

No problem.

And when Hiccup thought this was the end of the conversation, Aster messaged him again.

---

Jack sighed as he looked up at the dark sky above their heads. He rested his forehead on the window of Aster's car and observed the passing clouds.

To be honest, the beginning of the New Year wasn't that great. Well returning to school wasn't great at all, but the teachers decided to hit him at the back of his head with a shovel. Metaphorically, of course. But every one of them reminded them of the inevitable. The final test, at the very end of the year. The hardest test they needed to face.

Jack wasn't looking forward to the future that much right now.

And even though he didn't mind some of the subjects, like Geography, English or even History, there were few terrible and mortifying ones. Like Math. Definitely Math. And of course, Pitch couldn't help himself and not point out the shortcomings Jack had in this class.

"Knowledge of one topic isn't enough, mister Overland, to pass this test." Was what Professor Black had told especially him, when he had moved to the topic of the end of the semester.

Jack was conscious of this fact. He knew he had to start learning hard for this subject. But he couldn't stop the dark thoughts from forming in his head.

Lately, he couldn't really find the strength inside of him to brush them away. He still managed to forget about them for some time, but when the short moment of felicity was gone, so was his mood, because those shadows returned and hit him right in his chest.

Jack felt terrible and didn't know what to do to feel better.

Even now, spending time with his close friends wasn't really helping him. It wasn't making things worse per se, but it didn't stop the leak of the dark thoughts into his head.

When he was alone with Tooth it was different. Those were the only short moments of good ol' optimism to rule over his mind once again. But when he was alone with Aster, or the three of them, it was distinctive. Even though Jack didn't want to, somehow he found himself acting a little bit different in Aster's presence. It was terrible and he hated it, but couldn't prevent nor stop it.

He felt like he was betrayed and was betraying someone both in the same time. Terrible combination.

Jack stared at the street they passed in their small journey back to their homes. Sometimes he really preferred to walk home, feel the cold wind on his cheeks which allowed him to think straight for few moments, but no can do. He always drove back home with Aster when he had nothing else planned.

Ditching out now would be more suspicious even and Jack didn't want to lie to his friend.

"Hey, wanna grab something to eat?" Aster suddenly asked, clearing his throat before speaking.

Awkward. Even the atmosphere between them was. Jack really wished Tooth was with them, but no, she had her Biology Club at school.

"I'm not really in the mood." Jack answered truthfully, lifting his face from the window.

"I can see." Aster noted, glancing at him for only a short split second, before returning his focus on the road. Another cough came from his mouth. "Something happened? You seem… down lately…"

Fuck, and Jack tried so hard to act normal when he was with Bunny. But guess he failed this task. And so much more.

He sighed and trailed some pattern on the window.

"I'm just stressed over exams… You saw how Pitch reminded me today of my exclusive lack of knowledge in this field and you know how he had freakish amazing talent in ruining your mood."

"That's true." Aster answered and changed the gear.

Jack spoke the truth or at least some small part of it. The rest he preferred to keep for himself. It was better if no one knew about it. Especially Aster.

Aster's phone suddenly vibrated and Jack saw as his palm twitched in sudden urge to check it. Heh, weird. Bunny rarely was quick to answer. To be honest, he sometimes had been forgetting about responding. But not now…

Jack wondered who was writing to his friend. Only a little bit.

That reminded him though that he still didn't answer Hiccup's last messages. Back during the old year, he would have done it immediately after receiving it, but now, whenever he saw the name on his screen, he also saw the very first image of the New Year – the back of Hiccup's head while he was looking at someone else.

Jack knew it was stupid. It was terrible, but the image, a sudden spark of colors, a memory still so alive in his brain was making his gut twirl and clench in the uncomfortable way.

The fact that it was also twisting in this very nice, warm way wasn't helping him much either. It actually made him a little bit sick. So he prolonged the pauses between the messages.

He got too close and then got burned in the end. So now it was better to remain further away from the fire, when there was someone else there who could take care of it, more professionally than Jack.

But being so close was amazing – it was making him feel warm, alive and simply happy. The urge to step closer was there, at the back of his mind, whispering sweet promises behind his ear. It was tempting Jack. He wanted it and not, both in the same time, when the fire was leaning to the other side. Away was better. Better for him, for Hiccup, for Aster.

For everyone.

Was it really? – whispered a soft, kind and very quiet voice behind his left ear.

Yes, yes it was. Jack had to believe it.

The voice said nothing more.

"We're here." Aster said, stopping near the pavement.

And indeed, Jack's house was just few meters away from the car. The light from the living room window was sipping onto the white snow in front of it. So someone was home.

"Thanks." Jack said and gathered his backpack from the floor.

He threw it on his back, while making a step outside, but stopped due to the voice behind him.

"Jack?"

He stopped, half of him outside the car and half still inside. However he somehow managed to turn around and look at his friend with questioning look.

"Hmm?"

Aster opened his mouth multiple times in the rhythm of his fingers drumming on the steering wheel. The voice which finally left his mouth was quiet.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

No, Jack couldn't. He knew he couldn't. And the lone idea that he couldn't was making everything far more worse.

"I'm okay." Jack said instead, trying to put a reassuring smile on his lips. Come on, he was amazing at smiling, everyone had told him so! So why smiling lately felt so constrainedly? "Really, you have nothing to worry about." He added after a while.

Aster didn't look convinced. He furrowed his eyebrows with his thumb brushing the fake leather.

"If you say so…" He finally said.

Jack shook his head, still hoping that the smile was on his lips.

"Really, I'm okay. Thank you for the lift." With this Jack finally got out. "See you tomorrow?"

Aster nodded with a small twitch of his lips, that didn't really reach his eyes.

"Yeah, see ya later."

And with that Jack shut the door and moved to the front door. Bunny turned on the car and drove away, but Jack had a weird sensation on his back that his friend was observing him.

Inside the house he quickly took off his shoes and hung his blouse and jacket on the hook with a sour look returning to his face. It was dark in the corridor, so he didn't have to pretend and smile. He passed through the entrance to the living room where he welcomed Emma with a wave.

"When will be dinner?" She asked, sucking on a lollipop and tearing her gaze away from the TV.

Jack frowned at the sweet in her mouth, but couldn't do much about it.

"I'll start it after unpacking, no worries kiddo." He answered truthfully.

Emma nodded and returned to her cartoon.

Jack moved to the stairs which he climbed up and then moved to his quiet room. He threw his backpack on the bed hazily. He moved to his desk and started to take out things from his pockets. Old paper from a gum, some receipt, few cents, wallet and his phone.

Ah, yeah, answering.

Jack really didn't want to do that. He knew what would happen when he would unlock the screen. He knew it too well. It happened every time he had done it.

But even Aster could see that he was acting differently. So perceptive Hiccup definitely would be suspicious, if he found abnormality in Jack's responding time. If he didn't concluded it by now, that was.

Jack sat on his chair and unlocked the screen. The name immediately caught his attention. Then there was sudden burst of happiness inside his stomach, which was quickly killed by the image appearing in front of his eyes, leaving only something inside of him.

You don't know me, maybe

I'm sneaky as a ninja :)

Jack chuckled under his nose, which made something in his stomach flutter. Probably those damned butterflies. He and Hiccup had been talking about sneaking food in the middle of the night. Weird topic, but Jack loved strange things.

May I remind you that you're trying to run

away from every PE lesson? (「・ω・)「

Ha, with this Hiccup couldn't simply fight! This time Jack can win!

Another reply came lightning fast.

Ugh.

Jack felt proudness swelling inside his brain. He did it. He won the fight. Oh man, it felt good. It also felt good to listen to Hiccup when he was talking about himself, but that was… beside the point.

That was irrelevant! D:

Poor Hiccup was still trying to win this fight. No can do, darling. Jack was the winner here.

I also remember you mentioning your rare talent

of falling down on the even road, so you know (.ω.)

Jack clicked send and smiled under his nose.

It almost felt normal to speak with Hiccup like that. It almost felt like nothing had changed. But it was Jack who changed, his way of behaving, his feelings, his mind.

Even his way of thinking was different.

Yet, when he was speaking with him, it was almost like nothing changed, he was still the same old Jack who was able to smile even through the hardest times.

Sighing loudly, he took his phone and climbed down the stairs to the kitchen. What should he do? Some pesto pasta? Lasagna? Maybe curry? So many choices. Maybe something sweet? He kind of wanted something sweet right now to lift up his mood.

"Emma are crêpes okay for dinner?" Jack shouted, peeking from the kitchen and into the living room.

The brown smudge of hair turned on the couch and nodded vigorously.

"Is there whipped cream in the fridge?" She inquired, resting her crossed hands on the couch's back.

Jack moved to the fridge and opened it. There wasn't any instant whipped cream, but there was normal, sweet one, so technically they could have whipped cream.

"I will make some…" He mumbled to himself, as he took out milk and eggs. "There is!" He shouted instead to the living room.

"Yay!" Came the response.

And when Jack though that this was the end of the conversation, there was another shout, but this one a little bit hesitant and toned down than the previous ones.

"There is a card for you on the table!"

For Jack?

He moved to the table where indeed something was laying down. He grabbed the postcard and looked at the colorful and bright picture of the beach on the front. What the heck? Who could send him a postcard of summer in the middle of the winter?

He flipped the postcard and – uh oh – he knew this writing. He knew those curvy, elegant letters scattered across the back. He knew those empty inside dots. He knew these sharp numbers of his address.

It was his mother… the real one. The one he didn't see like in two years.

So she was still currently in Greece? Well, good for her.

Jack put the milk and eggs down on the counter and started to read. Okay first few sentences were okay. She was sending her best wishes for… Happy Christmas and New Year? A little bit late, like two weeks late. But it was Eris – always running from one meeting to another. She probably had put the card into a mailbox in the middle of some rendezvous, definitely few days after Christmas' Eve.

But only when Jack reached the end, he felt something in him dropping and crashing down.

I'll be coming home in February for a little bit. I hope we can meet. I call you then.

Great, this was exactly what Jack needed in his current mood. Eris wanting to meet with him. And so soon? What the heck? Couldn't she call him and not send a postcard?

Jack stared at the card with weird and foreign emotions swirling and storming inside his stomach. He didn't and did want to meet with her both in the same time. She was his mother, but… she wasn't. Not in the emotional meaning of this word.

February was just around the corner, two weeks from now on. It was a terrible short span of time.

No, for now Jack will forget about it and try to solve himself, his problems, his friends' problems. His mother's topic could be put farther away in his mind until the time will come.

He hid the postcard inside his back pocket.

Now he really needed something sweet to lift up his mood.

His pocket vibrated, announcing new message. This time Jack wasted no time in fishing it out and opening to immediately reply.

He could be a little selfish, right? He kind of needed something to make him forget about the postcard and speaking with Hiccup always managed to lift up his spirits. This was only one reply, it couldn't hurt much, right?

Hmph, sneaky, little bastard .…

I'm not the one who is little :3

You-

Jack could already imagine Hiccup groaning, seconds away from flinging the phone at the wall or bed. Yop, totally was doing it and killing Jack in his mind in at least hundreds of painful ways.

Jack snickered under his nose, masking the mixed emotions dancing inside his mind.

He put the phone down and got the rest of ingredients for dinner. But second before turning on the mixer, his phone chirped one more time. No, no, two times!

You're unbelievable, you know right?

And another one under it.

Remind me why do I like you?

And Jack knew Hiccup didn't mean it like that. Like in the way Jack kind of wanted for the auburn haired boy to like him back right now. He was sure that Hiccup totally meant it in a friendly way. It was so obvious by the way Hiccup adored Aster and not Jack, but…

The sudden spark was there. It was killed as soon as it appeared, one blink of an eyes, shorter than a heartbeat – slow exhale of the warm air from his lungs and it all was crumpled and thrown into the back of his mind.

No chance.

---

Hiccup turned to his phone when he saw it blinking. He immediately grabbed the device and brushed the screen, feeling something inside his stomach floating.

I don't know about you, but I totally hate

optics, never could really understand it.

He exhaled slowly through his nose and tapped the reply, feeling the corners of his mouth tugging upwards.

If Hiccup had to be honest, writing with Aster was amazing. He had imagined doing so back before the whole fake-dating impromptu had started, and even few months after, but he never had expected for his dreams to come true.

It was a bliss, it was electrifying, it was astonishing and amazing and good and…

Hiccup simply really, really liked it.

I never was good in astronomy,

even though I really like it D:

At first they hadn't really talked much, like neither of them had known what topic they should actually start to hold a conversation. But then Aster had written something about not being able to do some task during Chemistry test and it all came down from there (in the good way).

They were writing with each other for few days right now.

Even Astrid had noticed it, what… shouldn't really surprise Hiccup that much, as they almost spent every minute together in school. What was weird was the fact that at first she had thought he had been writing with Jack.

No, totally unbelievable, even funny, right?

Right…

At first Hiccup hadn't been sure whether he should tell her the truth or not, but he quickly had lost composure and showed her his phone.

Astrid… Astrid had reacted weirdly actually.

Hiccup kind of had expected something more from her. It was Astrid who always had nudged him into talking with Aster. It was always her who had been telling that he just needed to start conversation and not be afraid of consequences of being himself. It was Astrid who always had encouraged him that this would be fine.

So it was normal to expect something more than simple:

"Oh… that's… great."

She even had made these two small pauses, like she weighed her words, trying to choose the best option. There had been a weird mix of emotions running through her façade and Hiccup couldn't decode most of them. Jump, spark, scratch, brush – they were appearing and disappearing too fast for his mind to comprehend their real meaning.

But in the end, she had grinned at him and patted on the back.

"That's great." She had repeated herself, like her brain hadn't really written down that she had actually told the same thing already.

Strange.

But Hiccup felt better with her knowing it. It took some burden off his chest he wasn't conscious of having.

However there was still something residing inside his heart, some dark precipitate that didn't want to get washed away, no matter how many times he cleaned it. He had a feeling he should know what it was, bu-

Oh, another message.

Hiccup unlocked the phone and stared at the name glued to the screen.

He wrote a quick reply, feeling his heart beating loudly in his ears. One finger clicked send and he was just about to exit the tab, when he saw that he had not one but two new messages.

And there was a sudden swirl, some kind of perturbation inside his chest, a soft touch of something on a calm lake which caused the formation of round ripples on the surface. A skip, a beat, a pause.

Astrid wrote to him.

A tremor.

Doing something on Saturday : )?

Was Hiccup planning to do something on Saturday? Probably homework. And he had to make the project for this damned contest. Shit, he almost forgot about it. Well he kind of really forgot about it.

Shit, shit, shit… But he still had time till March right? Gladly he already showed the teacher his blueprints. Now he only needed to assemble it somehow. He wasn't that good in those, but maybe he would manage to do it somehow.

But he really had to start doing it. On the other side, he didn't want to say no to Astrid…

Well I wanted to work a little bit on my project

but I will find some time for you, my lady =D

Good enough.

Another exit from the tab. He was seconds away from moving to the main screen, but then he saw Jack's name on the third place.

Aster had told him that he had asked Jack about his problems, but the white haired teen had evaded speaking. No wonder. Jack was stubborn, even more than Hiccup sometimes. And it would take hydraulic press to crack him open. But Hiccup wasn't sure if that could work either…

Lately, Jack was writing with him less and less and Hiccup found himself missing it. The weird bickering, the strange messages that were full of memes, the sighs of being bored… The pure pleasure of talking with someone.

With Jack he never had to think hard to respond. He just was writing the first thing that popped into his head and boom! No pressure, no judgement, no need to pretend, no need to think what to say to look good.

With Aster it wasn't… like that.

Hiccup shook his head quickly. What was with him and his weird way of thinking? No, better not to move into that field. He might get lost in the maze of his tangled emotions.

Small shopping rendezvous in the mall? ;)

Just… the two of us? Like good old times?

What did she mean by that? They were still best-friends and no one could replace Astrid. Yeah, he was a lot on his phone recently, but Astrid should know that it wasn't because of that, right?

Jack didn't respond to him until the very late evening and Hiccup would have to lie if he said that he wasn't worried about it.

---

Saturday came in the blink of an eye. Lately the whole time was passing so fast like someone just upgraded the whole time machine to move faster and faster.

Hiccup pocketed his phone and met with Astrid in front of her house. Her home was on the way to the city center, so he had no problems with stopping to get her.

Astrid looked… better. She actually looked much better. She stepped out of the house with a grin plastered to her face.

"Thank you for going out with me." She gasped when she met Hiccup on the pavement.

Hiccup didn't mind. Back before the whole thing with Jack started, they had been going a lot to the mall during weekends, but then the whole business had made everyone busy and the tradition got lost somewhere, smudged away in their calendars.

Kind of sad, a little bit. Hiccup never was fond of walking around malls in search for clothes, but Astrid adored it and who he was to say no to his friend?

They walked slowly, talking about small things.

They weren't even half way there when Hiccup felt his jacket's pocket vibrating with a new message. There was a sudden sharp squeeze of his chest, a sudden need emerging from his mind and spasmodic twitch of his gloved fingers.

And before he could comprehend what was happening, he was already taking out his phone and clicking a response. Few seconds, one swish movement of his finger and yet another message was send.

Then he caught Astrid's eyes on him and… Hiccup blushed.

"Sorry…" He mumbled, putting his phone back in his pocket.

"No worries." Astrid said and smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes which darkened a little. Or maybe it was only a trick of light.

Hiccup wanted for it to be the latter.

---

Hiccup thought he would manage both. Come on, girls could do multitasking – drying their hair while putting on an underlay and in the same time speaking on the phone. Three things in one moment! It didn't sound that difficult. Okay maybe doing three things in the same time could sound a little bit worse, but Hiccup only had to do two things, so it shouldn't be that bad, right?

Right.

Apparently Hiccup was a living disaster in multitasking. How could girls do it? They even were able to make it look so astonishingly easy? Like addition. One plus one was two. But Hiccup only got some weird letters – formulas with not enough equations to solve the unknowns he had.

Hiccup though he could do two things both in the same time. One – spend time with Astrid, talk with her and catch up on things they had missed and two – text with Aster. But apparently he wasn't gifted with a talent to do both things in the same time. Unfortunately, he only found out that he was terrible at it after the ticking bomb finally burst, scattering shards of sadness and guilt everywhere. Hiccup felt like a terrible friend.

He was probably a horrible friend in the end. But from the very beginning.

---

"What do you want?"

"Uhm…" Hiccup incoherently mumbled, rising his face from his phone.

"The coffee." Astrid tapped the menu laying in front of Hiccup. "What do you want?"

"Oh, right." He quickly snatched the menu and opened it on random page. Which happened to not be filled with coffees, so he flipped to previous pages. His eyes jumped like electrons between different orbitals under radiation light, only to land on something. "I'll take…" He pushed his glasses higher and leaned closer. "Café au Lait, tall."

Astrid gathered both their menus and stood up from her seat. She moved quickly to the line snaking in front of the counter.

Hiccup in the meantime looked back at the screen of his phone. Thirty four messages. Aster had sent him thirty four messages since Hiccup had met up with Astrid. And Hiccup had sent him twenty nine. In the span of two hours they exchanged sixty three messages.

Hiccup was in heaven. His inside was buzzing with joy and anticipation to see another message. Another part of the conversation about things he knew and enjoyed.

They talked mostly about science and it was so amazing to be able to find someone who often thought the same way. Fishlegs also liked science, but he was more practical in this matter than theoretical. Aster and Hiccup were definitely the latter. And Hiccup loved it.

Oh, sixty four.

Fingers moved swiftly, accommodated already with letters and numbers he wanted to use. He read the message, then re-read it one more time and sent, feeling the mix of anxiety and boiling warmness spreading over his abdomen.

Yeah, he often was afraid that he would write something inappropriate or something that would made Aster think wrongly about him. But it looked that till now he was acing his every message.

With Jack it was never like that – whispered someone behind his ear, but Hiccup brushed it by focusing on the phone. That is until Astrid put down two glasses with too much force necessary to do this quite delicate process. A long stream of foamed milk trailed on one cup's side.

"Wow wow wow, watch out Astrid!" Hiccup said, quickly grabbing a napkin and brushing the spilled drink away.

"Sorry." The girl responded, slumping down in the seat in front of him.

Maybe it was only an imagination, but Hiccup had a feeling – lone though, a hunch – that she wasn't sorry at all.

But why?

"Seriously…" Hiccup mumbled and crumpled the napkin.

Astrid only hmphed in response and teared open paper package for her straw. The tore off pieces flew in the air and almost landed in Hiccup's own drink, so he had to move it closer to himself. Come on, what was wrong with her? It was her who wanted to go out with him to hang out and now she was acting like that!?

Hiccup took the spoon and started to slowly eat the foam from the top.

To be honest, perfectly honest, the atmosphere around them was thicker than tar*. It was almost sticking to his body, making him nervous and hot with uncomfortableness.

It was never like that with Astrid and him. They had arguments and good or bad moments, but now it was different – an unknown in the equation, he wanted to solve.

Astrid slurped loudly the drink in front of her. Frappe? In the middle of the winter?

They sat there, not speaking, not even looking at each other, but at the table between them. It was awful, it was terrible, it made him itchy and edgy inside. He wanted some kind of distraction from the steel chains hugging his chest.

One message appeared from Aster and he quickly replied to him, hoping that maybe the butterflies (or bees, or humming birds, or those weird vibrating atoms) inside his stomach could subside the feeling of… something inside of him.

But it didn't really help much.

Then another one popped. Reply. Another one. Another reply. He took a sip. Message. A small chuckle. Reply. Another sip. Soft blink of the screen. Reply. Vibration. Half of the drink already gone. The atmosphere still there, now maybe even thicker than earlier. Message. Reply. A buzz. Response. Sip. Lick of his lips. Another messa-

Astrid put her drink down.

"I'm going." She said, starting to gather her things and two bags of clothes she now owned.

Hiccup's eyes jumped from the screen to his friend.

"What? Wait. I didn't drink it all." Hiccup said, moving his hand to the backpack now laying on the seat next to him.

"No need." Astrid snapped, standing up and throwing the handbag on her arm, almost pushing her glass off the table in the process. "I think you have more fun talking with Aster on the phone, than spending time with me."

What? Was she out of her mind?

"No… no, Astrid, it isn't like that…" Hiccup started, feeling the tremors sparkling inside his stomach. "You know-"

"The coffees ale already paid. No need to give me my money back." She mumbled, grabbed two bags. "Have fun. See ya later."

And then she stomped to the exit, leaving Hiccup alone with her empty glass, his half drunk, opened message from his crush on the table and overwhelming feeling of failing inside his mind.

---

Jack sighed as he zipped higher his jacket. All good things had to come to an end at some point.

Apparently today afternoon had to end too. To be honest, Jack didn't really want to go back home yet. He could still spend some time with his friends. It was an amazing way to stop thinking about other things. Plus he could catch up with all the things he had missed in their lives.

But unfortunately they had other things to tend to and now Jack was left alone with his thoughts. No, he should stop it. This was getting him nowhere.

He was doing a spectacular job at trying to forget. Every inner Jack should clap and bow to him and his amazing abilities to forget about all this warm emotions flowing over his body, flooding his chest whenever he thought about Hiccup.

Yop, he did amazingly. See, even now he was thinking about it.

Jack sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. No, he couldn't return home yet, he needed to loosen up and fill his brain with mindless… something. There was Burgess Arcadia not too far away from him. He could spend some minutes (hours, one inner Jack coughed to clarify this though) there and forget about all the worries.

Yeah, it seemed like a good idea.

So he did exactly that. He turned on his heels and stomped slowly in the direction of the bright place, filled with happy screams and blasting colors. He wondered if someone beat his record on the new game. What was its name again? A yeah, Sugar Rush*. A game a little too bright for human's eye to feel at ease, but weirdly addicting and after few tries Jack started to really like it.

If someone indeed beat him, then Jack had to retake the first place.

He was kind of lost in his thoughts when he felt a hard shove to his arm that sent him almost splattering into a nearby lamppost. Uh-huh rude! What was with people marching through the street like they owned it! Come on! It was a public place, not a race track.

His eyes jumped to the person who bumped into him and he was just about to open his mouth, maybe add something, but froze.

Not actually froze, because even thought it was cold outside for everyone else, it wasn't that cold for Jack. However that was not the point.

He had a second, maybe less, before the face looked down (or maybe didn't even glance at him in the first place) and made a step to walk away.

"Sorry…" Came a hoarse mumble from definitely feminine lips.

And uh-huh, Jack was stubborn and reckless and he often acted on an impulse. Just like in this very moment. Before knowing what was happening his hand shot and caught the person's wrist in tight, but hopefully not too harsh grip.

Then there was a pause, a slow moment to catch back the rhythm of normal beating heart, a hesitant tilt of a head and…

"Astrid?" Jack asked, stepping closer.

Because it had to be her. But she looked so different in this moment, so much weaker, so much more broken. Like a strong glass vase with a thin crack running from the base to the very top.

"Everything… everything's okay?" Jack inched closer now, just a step away from the smaller girl in front of him.

Astrid didn't respond for some time, maybe it was few seconds, maybe even a full minute, before the hoarse voice finally left her lips.

"I'm a terrible friend."

But the voice was so timid, so small, so quiet that Jack barely heard it through the bustling of the afternoon city.

And he felt ashamed, but he had to say it.

"What? Can you repeat, I didn't hear you?"

Then it was like a broken dam finally going down.

Astrid snapped her head up and uh… She really did look terrible.

"I'm a horrible friend."

Jack never had seen her like that. She was always strong, always keeping her head high, always emanated this power. Maybe because of that Jack had started thinking of her as someone unbreakable.

But it was wrong.

Now her lips were dry, chapped, with spider web of thin cuts everywhere, like she nibbled on them for far too long. Her eyes, usually strong, confident, oozing power, were dulled, accompanied in some twisted way by pinkish rims in the corners. One blonde lock of her hair broke free from the braid and now was glued to her forehead and eyelid like it wanted to brush away the unshed tears that were there, desperately kept away from the outside world to be seen.

Something inside of Jack clenched and shuddered seeing Astrid like that.

Then her words finally were registered by his brain which allowed his throat to become loose and for his voice to finally be heard.

"I'm sure that's not true…" Jack softly said, trying to sound confident and warm, both in the same time.

It was hard.

Astrid sniffed, hung her head down and gripped tightly the shopping bags inside her hands.

"I really am a bad friend." She mumbled one more time. "I know… I know I should be happy for him, but I can't… And I leashed on him…" There was a low hiccup leaving her lips in pair with a small shudder running down her spine. "And… and…" Astrid started, over and over again, similar to a broken record.

But every broken thing needed some repairs here and there.

Jack weighed his options. The analysis was running fast in his head, with different outcomes appearing and disappearing in front of his eyes. What to do? How to act? What kind of things he should say?

There was one option, one deadly option, but Jack couldn't simple imagine doing other thing. So he did the most dangerous thing he would be doing during his life. It may kill him, it may leave him with broken arms and legs, it may leave him with too many bruises to count, but he had to do it.

So Jack simply hugged Astrid, because she looked like she needed it. Desperately, achingly, painfully. Like she needed some kind of solid ground.

Her body tensed and for a brief moment Jack was almost sure she would back away and punch him in the guts, leaving him wincing on the dirty ground.

It probably would happen any other day, because Jack had seen Astrid doing so. Kicking and punching people who tried to get near to her. So he wouldn't be surprised it the same fate would be put upon his poor soul.

But nothing like this happened. Astrid didn't reciprocated the hug, her hands still holding the bag tight, but her head moved few inches closer to Jack's chest, almost laying down on it.

Well, this would be as much as he could get from her.

Jack patted slowly her back, trying to soothe the tense muscles. It was awkward, kind of harsh on the edges, but Jack didn't mind.

He hugged Astrid Hofferson and he was still alive. A miracle. Something was telling him that he would run out of luck sometimes soon, however it didn't matter.

Astrid didn't cry, there were no spasms shuddering her body, there were no sobs leaving her hurt lips. It was only Astrid, kind of broken, with thin cracks running around her, but it was still the same strong woman. Nothing changed in Jack's way of viewing her.

After few minutes she sniffed and said into his jacket.

"If you tell anyone about it, I will kill you personally and bury the body."

Jack couldn't stop the chuckle from leaving his body.

"I wouldn't dream about it." He said, running his hand up, near her nape. "Are you feeling better?"

"Kind off." Astrid admitted, sniffing one more time. "Would you be mad if I brush my nose on your blouse?"

"A little bit?" Jack said, speaking half of the truth. He kind of liked his blouse without some people's fluids (for example snot, blood, tears, sweat, and many others), but he wouldn't be that mad. "Wait a sec."

Astrid moved away, a step or so, and waited as Jack fumbled with the backpack he had on himself. There were tons of things he needed (and not) inside, but after some time he somehow found the thing he was searching for. Simple pocket tissue. They were crumpled and looked like they were filled with crumbs of some cookie he once had there, but Astrid took them gratefully, slipping one out and blowing her nose.

After she was done, she hid the tissue inside her pocket, fumbling a little bit with bags in her hand.

"Do you want to find some place warm and tell me what happened?" Jack proposed, leaning and looking at Astrid's face.

The girl nodded slowly.

---

In the end they didn't go somewhere warm, but bought each other French fries and settled in the park in the city center.

The park was small, crowded with too many trees growing in one place and only one road leading from one side to another. Jack didn't really like this place, it always made him feel kind of depressed for the poor trees and flowers growing there, but it was the only secluded place without much people.

They both sat on the back of the bench, because the normal seat was covered with snow. Jack didn't mind, he only had to watch out to not flip backwards, which would be terrible.

Astrid's shopping bags were hanging on the back of the bench, next to the girl, who was now dipping her fry in the ketchup. She put it in her mouth and nibbled on it slowly.

Jack didn't want to really push her. They weren't technically close friends, but she was Hiccup's best-friend and he liked her, so Jack wanted to help and know what made her behave like that.

After some time, when the silence around them settled on comfortable level, Jack decided to brush the topic.

"So?" He nudged softly, taking few of his own French fries and throwing them into his mouth. "What happened?"

Astrid didn't speak immediately. She furrowed her eyebrows, hunched her shoulder and dipped another fry in the smashed tomatoes, but it stayed there for some time.

"I got into argument with Hiccup." She finally admitted.

But before Jack was able to even open his mouth and ask what she meant, Astrid continued.

"Or I think it was. I don't know. Maybe it wasn't an argument in the end. I just got pissed and kind of leashed on him." She sighed, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. "And I know… I know that I shouldn't do it, that it was childish of me, but I… I don't know. I think all this emotions finally accumulated in me to this point of breaking out."

Okay, that was something for a start.

"Okay." He nodded, more to himself than to Astrid. "So about what this argument was actually?" Because Jack had hard time imagining Hiccup and Astrid arguing over anything.

Astrid fidgeted in place, picked up the fry and put it in her mouth.

"It wasn't an argument in the end…" She said, with mouth maybe not technically full with food, but definitely with something there. Yet neither of them minded. "I was… It's just…" She swallowed thickly and then became silent.

It looked like even Astrid had hard time trying to show what was on her heart. So similar to Hiccup. And so similar to Jack… So similar almost to everyone close to Jack.

Her fingers twitched when she was reaching for another fry. Jack wondered if it was because of the cold nipping on them, or due to the overwhelming stress.

"It's just?" Jack tried again, hoping to soothe Astrid into talking.

Because it really looked like she needed it. Like she wanted some kind of person who would listen to her. Not someone specifically close and in the same time not someone who knew nothing about her. Just a friendly ear who could listen and someone who wouldn't spill the secrets away, but keep a hold on them, hiding somewhere where no one else would find them.

She didn't speak for a while. Quite long while. Jack wanted to say that he didn't mind, but he kind of did, yet he didn't dare to nudge her further in fear of her closing down on him. Some people were like that and if the locking sound would echo in his ears, there would be no way to open the lock back again.

So Jack had to be patient, even though he wasn't that good at it.

It's not like he was in a hurry. He didn't want to go back home yet anyway.

So they both ate slowly, sharing a silence thrown upon them like veils, barricading them from the outside world. One person passed them, with a small dog following her around, but she paid them no mind.

Jack was half way done with his fries, when Astrid spoke again:

"You won't laugh, right?"

The sentence was hesitant, unsteady and yet held a tone of threat and danger to it. Only Astrid could ask such simple question and sound both fearful and menacingly in the same time.

"Never." Jack promised, looking right into her eyes.

Astrid nodded, swallowed hard and then finally spoke:

"I guess, I guess I was afraid, you know? I mean, I suddenly felt like everyone important to me was moving away. Hiccup and I are best-friends, but ever since this whole fiasco with you started, he… it feels like he's slowly moving away. Not spending as much time with me as before." Astrid glanced at him, but quickly averted his gaze. "And at first I thought it was fine, I was okay with it. I mean, maybe this way he would open up to people and you know, find a courage he need." She tightened her grip on the bag of fries in her hands. "I guess it kind of backfired at me? I think… I guess I started to feel lonely? I mean I was happy for him that he was spending more time with other people, but in the same time I had this feeling I was left behind. And then Ruffnut met this guy Eret or what's-his-name and… and after that the only thing she was interested in was her phone and his stupid messages and suddenly our every conversation revolved around him and it kind of started to tire me and…" She started to ramble, just like Hiccup. They may be ice and fire, stars and planets, sparks and voids, but it was amazing how many similar features they shared. "And I kind of thought it will be alright as long as I still have Hiccup with me. But then… but then…"

"Then?"

"Then he finally get a hold of his number!" Astrid huffed, throwing her hands in the air and almost sending the last few fries flying. After that she slumped back down, crossing her hands on the chest. "And I know I should be happy for Hiccup. God, I even told Hiccup to ask for his number for so fucking long. But I don't know… I was maybe happy for him at some point, but it turned out horrible! He spends now every minute on his damn phone. And I asked him to hang out today and even though I know he hates walking around mall, he always helped me the best he could. But today he was only looking at his damn phone and I…" There was a rip in her voice, a small disturbance in the air. "And I…"

Jack nudged closer, not as close as he would normally do with other people, but close enough to show reassurance.

"Felt lonely?" He proposed.

"Alone even." Astrid chuckled dryly, with no hint of optimism in her voice.

She was drained, Jack could see it. It was so sad that sometimes the friendship which should build you up was tearing you down, piece by piece.

It's good, amazing to have friends, but it's not like you become friends and poof, all work is done. It is a commitment. Sometimes it difficult to stay with other people, even though the only thing you want is to lay down and hide from the world.

And of course it's never all sunshine in this world. There are arguments, there are heavy and terrible times, but there are also first rays between gray clouds and soothing breeze of something new or old and amazing altogether.

Life was like that. Unfair, sometimes filled with more bad things than good, and sometimes majorly filled with optimism. You can't tell for sure what happens next, you're not sure of the future, but there are things you can change.

Life was terrifying, but astonishingly beautiful. And friendship was one of the best parts of it – it made your journey through it less lonely, less bitter, less fearful.

So Jack could understand the fear of losing someone to such harsh weapon like words.

But he also knew Hiccup. Maybe not as long as Astrid did definitely, but he more over knew him to this point he was sure of what he would say next.

"I don't think Hiccup will be or is mad at you." Jack slowly said, looking at her.

Astrid sniffed, grabbed another fry and threw it inside her mouth.

"How can you be so sure?" She asked instead, no menacingly, but kind of desperately.

"Well…" Jack cleared his throat. "I maybe don't know Hiccup as much as you do, but I guess I also see other things that you may not remember right now. And I don't think he can get angry or stay angry at his friends for too long. No matter how much he says he dislikes people, he love you more than anything else in this world." At this Astrid lifted her gaze and focused on him. "I think…" Okay now a little bit worse part. "I think he feels guilty now for what he has done actually." At this the blonde haired girl hung her head and bit hard her lip.

"See? I'm a bad friend…"

Jack groaned internally. So people were like that. Kind, but with thick shell around them. But he had to try and sent the message.

"No, you're not. Only because you told the truth about yourself, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. Of course you could do it in different way, but it isn't bad that you spoke the truth." Astrid twitched, but remained in the same position." I even think that Hiccup maybe needed some kind of outburst to really understand what you meant." Then after a second, he chuckled under his breath. "He probably thinking right now what should he do to apologize to you."

After that there was silence. Different than the previous one. Kind of like the one when you enter a garden on the first day after winter finally moved away. The silence when everything is still asleep – there is no lush grass, the trees are still bare and naked and the flowers don't even think about blossoming. It is kind of terrifying at first, with everything so still and unmoving around you. There are few breaths of hesitation, of fear lurking inside your heart, but it's quickly dissipated with weird, overflowing calmness emanating from the nature around you.

Silence which transform into something better. Now, Jack felt like that.

Astrid contemplated the idea proposed by Jack – if her furrowing eyebrows and moving lips were any indications. It looked like she had some kind of inner fight with herself, but then the thin, not suiting her wrinkles smoothened out and she sighed heavily. Like really. Jack never heard her sigh so loudly and so long. It was almost like with this one big exhale she get rid of all the tension residing in her body until now.

Probably not completely. Rarely problems could be solved so quickly and without a trace of them being somewhere in the cellar of the mind – hidden in labeled box, like old clothes.

But now it could be pushed away. For a little bit or maybe even for longer.

"Knowing Hiccup… you're probably right." Astrid finally said, lifting her eyes back at Jack. The same spark, the same light wasn't fully there, but it was a good start. "He did kind of looked devastated when I left him back there in café."

Jack shrugged.

"At least he'll learn from it." He commented. "As I said, a little bit harsh way of teaching, but good lesson nevertheless."

"Yeah…" Astrid nodded to herself. "Yeah, you're right." Her hand found its way to her hair, but found obstacle in the hat, which she pushed away a little bit in the end. "I only hope everything will turn out okay in the end."

"I'm sure you'll make up before Monday morning classes."

This time the pure enthusiasm in Astrid's eyes couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

"You think?"

"Totally." He honestly was speaking the truth. Maybe he didn't know Hiccup as good as Astrid did, but he knew at least that much – and it was the fact that Hiccup couldn't live long without talking with Astrid. He was probably panicking right now, trying to find a way to make up with his best-friend.

And maybe, just maybe he would ask Jack for opinions on this matter. This idea warmed him a little bit inside.

Denying it would be fruitless at this point. Jack started… started actually to accept the idea and not only brush it under the carpet. He couldn't run away from this and especially couldn't run away from the thoughts swimming inside of him. It was like trying to run away from pollens during spring – futile and impossible.

Astrid finally graced him with a hesitant, but pure grin.

"Thanks Jack." Then her smile turned into an evil smirk. "But if you tell anyone-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know you can kick my butt. My lips are sealed, you have my promise." Jack quickly finished, already knowing what the girl wanted to say. It wasn't so hard to guess. Astrid liked her reputation and Jack kind of liked it too.

"For this I guess I should thank you too?"

"You don't need to as it should be normal, I guess..." He shrugged with his hand moving to the nape. "But it would be welcomed nevertheless."

Astrid snorted and grabbed the last few pieces of fries from the paper bag, which she threw away into a bin next to the bench.

"To be perfectly honest Jack…" She started, with a tone of unsureness at the very beginning. "At first when Hiccup told me about your plan I was totally terrified. I maybe didn't have the worst opinion about you, but yeah… it wasn't so good either. And Hiccup is my best-friend, so I was scared that somehow you would put him in more mess than he actually was." She cleared her throat. It kind of hurt Jack that Astrid had thought like that few months ago, but from her words it seemed like that wasn't the case now. Which was good. Very good. "You turned out to be the nicest guy in the whole world – well at least this is what Hiccup is telling me about you."

Jack tried really hard not to blush and burst from happiness after hearing those words. He knew Hiccup and Astrid were talking about Jack. Hello? He was doing the very same thing with Aster and Tooth, so it was nothing surprising. But Hiccup speaking so highly of mere Jack? This… this was astonishingly building him up inside.

"He… he does?" And, oh god, of course he had to stutter on this one sentence. Come on! He was mighty Jackson Overland – and it took one nice thing said from Hiccup to crumble the strength around him. It wasn't even Hiccup who said it (figuratively speaking it was), but Astrid who repeated the words, but it did things to Jack's inside. Nice things. Very warm, buzzing things.

"Sure he does." Astrid confirmed, looking back at him. After that she blinked, at first slowly, but then faster. And then – oh no, Jack had bad feeling about it – the soft smile turned into a smirk. After that she said nothing more only hummed. Hummed in that very specific way. Way that meant nothing good. At least nothing good for Jack.

"What?" Jack asked. And maybe his voice broke down in the middle of this very short word. But only maybe.

Or maybe it was the truth.

Astrid caught on it and her evil smile grew wider and wider.

"Someone has a nice blush on their cheeks~."

Oh god, no. Please no. Tell him that he didn't blush after only hearing that Hiccup complimented him. No, no, no, this would be a disaster. Jack rarely did that. It was almost impossible for him to blush while hearing some praise. Because, come on, a lot of people praised him – and some of these things were true, some were not. And he always felt happy while hearing their warm words. But he rarely blushed so hard for it to be so visible.

And what should Jack do in this situation?

Deny it. Deny it all the way!

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Jack said, turning his head away. Which maybe wasn't the brightest thing to do around a predator like Astrid, who could smell the fear probably from miles away.

Another hum – almost seductive – reached his ears.

"Oh, really?"

"Yup, totally." Jack was a master of denial. He became one just few weeks ago and he was very proud of his skills.

"Because I think someone got flustered that his fake-boyfriend complimented him." Astrid almost sing-sang it now – cheerfully and teasingly.

But she had the best aim around here. Nothing could slip past her curious eyes, especially if it was related to her friends. But right now Jack really wanted for her to stop. He only warmed recently to the idea that his feelings were very real, and not part of some kind of twisted imagination. It was still too early.

"Oh you do!" Astrid cooed. A sound that should be sweet if it didn't leave her lips precisely.

Jack grumbled something under his nose and still averted her gaze. Okay, he can admit that right now he was acting a little like a child. Ugh, truth to be told not even a little, but a lot. Dang it.

"Jackie, come on, there is nothing to be ashamed of." Oh no, where did she hear that nickname for him. Nu-huh. It was terrible. He only hoped that she came up with it right now and won't spill it further to Hiccup.

"No!" He said, still looking at the other side. Oh the tree was so interesting. It was so… tall… and broad… and without leaves… and covered in snow… Very interesting, such tree wasn't growing everywhere.

"Well I guess you can enjoy it as much as you can for now." She suddenly said, with a tone of sadness hinted somewhere in her voice. And then quietly, more like it was a thought that accidentally slipped past her lips, she whispered. "It soon will be probably over anyway."

Jack's brain short-circuited.

What? What did she mean by that? Did she mean their fake-relationship? But why? Hiccup didn't tell him anything about finishing it. Well, Heather wasn't bothering Jack anymore and Dagur wasn't doing the same to Hiccup, but he thought that they should prolong it a little bit longer, because… just to be sure! Because you never know when they could strike again. Right, that was the only explanation. Or at least it was… some time ago.

But something in Jack stopped – and then there was a sudden, engulfing silence in the place where his heart hammered wildly just few seconds ago.

Then he turned around, so fast he almost fell down from on the bench.

"What do you mean?" He asked, trying to sound normal and only a tiny bit curious. But it was a lie. A fear, a trembling nervousness was eating him up from inside.

Astrid blinked, taken aback by the sudden movement or the question or maybe even both.

"Well you know, because Aster and Hiccup are getting along so well right now…"

What? What was she saying? Her words mingled, got disrupted somewhere in the journey from her mouth to his ears and somehow the only thing Jack heard was Aster and Hiccup.

He had to look pretty dumbfounded, because Astrid licked her lips slowly, nervously and continued, now eyeing him warily.

"You do know that they are talking a lot through their phones lately? Like when I say a lot I really mean a lot." She followed, speaking suddenly slower, maybe articulating every word separately for Jack to comprehend the real meaning of them.

And Jack understood her. Understood the second part of the message more than the previous one. He understood the implications. He understood the meaning. He understood the hidden explanation.

Then Jack felt like drowning. Like someone brutally pushed his head underwater and kept him there, until all the air, the sweet, sweet oxygen, left his burning lungs. The water, the thick atmosphere pushed on all his organs, making them twitch and then tense in sudden realization.

Aster and Hiccup. It should be obvious. Jack even wanted them to be happy together, but it was all before… was all before he… before he…

He wanted to get out, but he was pushed deeper and deeper until the bonds around his lungs, or maybe heart, or maybe around his emotions became too much and slowly, step after step they crumbled down.

So did Jack. He felt himself shattering, with long thin lines running around his inner self.

"Jack? Everything's… okay?"

It should be okay. It fucking should be. Hiccup was Jack's friend, Aster was Jack's best-friend. They were two very close to him people. He loved them and wanted what was best for them. Aster was amazing and very kind under the shell of indifference. Hiccup was sweet and thoughtful, even though he pretended he wasn't. And they were maybe not perfect, but good for each other. They would make a great pair. And they would be happy together.

And this was what mattered.

So why the sudden thought hurt him so much right now? Was making his chest clench so painfully – as the air from his chest bubbled forward, toward the surface, but Jack was pushed deeper and deeper, in the direction of the black and hollow bottom.

All those emotions, hidden inside of him were growing bigger and stronger with every passing second. Jack had hid it so good and had locked it so well that he had made no place for the grow of his emotions. But they grew and now the lock broke down.

"Jack?"

And then there was hand reaching for him underwater. And maybe in any other situation he wouldn't grab it, this golden opportunity, but now he was so tired of hiding it, of pretending, of trying to run away from his own thoughts that he simple grabbed this palm and allowed for this someone to bring him back to the surface.

"Astrid, I…" Jack started, voice hoarse and far away from sounding as okay as he wanted for it to sound. "I like Hiccup."

It felt good to take a proper, free breath.

"What?" Did Astrid move closer, or did she just raise her voice. Jack wasn't sure.

But he was sure his heart was beating like crazy with the sudden spoken revelation. His thoughts were one thing, but speaking it out loud, especially to Hiccup's best-friend gave his words a whole another meaning. A solid meaning. Because he honestly felt this way.

"You… you do? Wait!" Yep, Astrid, definitely moved closer. Maybe to hear him better. Or maybe she wanted to see what was wrong with Jack. "You mean like you like him more than a friend?"

Jack wanted to say it in his own voice, but it got lost somewhere in the middle of leaving his lips, so he only made incoherent noises and nodded.

"Oh…"A quiet whisper. "Oh." A little bit louder repeat. "Oh shit!" That definitely was a shout. "Shit, Jack that is…" The yell cut sharply and Jack glanced up at Astrid who was looking up at the sky. "… that would be amazing if not for…" She swallowed hard and turned to him. Their eyes met and Jack could see some hesitation, some pained revelation inside her orbs. "…Aster."

And the sudden happiness, the quick beats of his heart stilled and slowed down, when the sudden darkness crept over it once again.

"Yeah…" Jack said, hanging his head down and looking at the ground between the boards of the bench.

For some time Astrid didn't speak. Maybe she was processing the words that finally left Jack's mouth or maybe she was thinking of what she should say next. Then Jack could hear her swallowing one more time.

"Jack, what do you want to do now?" She asked, unnaturally soft for her.

And he… he didn't know the answer to this questions. He was afraid of answering it even, of giving some clear one way reply. Because he simply couldn't. He wasn't sure what he should or want to do in this situation.

So he put his face in his hands and sighed loudly, feeling the tension seeping back into his muscles.

"I don't know, Astrid." He murmured, voice becoming a grumbling mess while brushing through his skin.

"Because you know that Hiccup has-"

"Feelings for Bunny?" Jack finished, feeling more miserable with every passing second. Or word. Or thought. "Yeah… I know." Then after full ten seconds passed, he repeated himself. "I know."

Astrid fidgeted on her seat next to Jack. There was some rustling, like she moved her hands. Maybe she pushed the fringe from her forehead? Maybe she brushed her freezing hands together? Maybe she reached for Jack, backing away before her palm could touch his body? Jack wasn't sure.

This situation was messed up. And he was sometimes making fun of people in dramas or romance movies. Back then it all had looked so easy when he had been rooting for his favourite character. But in reality it was different. He couldn't see the spoilers, couldn't peek into the future or someone else's mind. No matter how hard he wanted it. To see just a glimpse of someone else's thoughts, to have even one information.

But it was impossible.

Jack was left alone with his own thoughts, needs, prayers and wishes. There was no one rooting for him from behind the pages or TV screen. He had to make his own choices.

But he simply didn't know which choice to pick. In which direction move. Every road seemed risky now and he was afraid of the consequences. For him. For his friends. For Hiccup and for Aster.

"Hey." It was Astrid, nudging his leg with her own one.

Jack wasn't in a mood to show his face yet. He felt comfortable, secure in the soft prison of his own palms around his head. Here he didn't have to pretend. Here he could be himself and simply feel… sad.

"I don't know if this could help you at all…" She started, prolonging her words unnaturally, like she wasn't sure whether she wanted to say more or not. "… or even a little bit, as this is only my opinion. No one has to agree or disagree with it or anything like that, but…" There was a frustrated sigh, much longer than the ones she had done today and this time she definitely ruffled her own hair. "If my words mean anything to you then I think you and Hiccup would fit each other."

This was probably the closest to Astrid's approvement of Jack's feelings he was going to get.

Maybe if someone else said it, then it would be different. Maybe then it wouldn't shake some kind of lever inside Jack's mind. Maybe then it wouldn't pull a string inside Jack's heart. Maybe then his emotions, after hearing it, would be different.

But it was Astrid who had said that. And her words, no matter how complicated, cut in half, stuttered embarrassedly, started over and over again, meant a lot to Jack.

And even though he still felt lost, her words shooshed away the fog encircling his heart.

Then finally Jack lifted his head and looked back at Astrid, who was looking at him with blush adorning her face.

Welp, he never had seen her like that. It must be difficult for her to say such things to Jack and he really, really appreciated it right now. Especially right now.

Astrid was a good friend, managing to break through her out-of-comfort zones when needed. It takes bravery to do so. Hiccup really had great friends.

But Jack also had great friends.

"Thank you." Jack finally said, putting on a still faint smile, trying to show gratitude.

Astrid then quickly fumbled with her jacket and took out her phone.

"I'll give you my phone number in case you'll ever want to talk about it." She said, not looking at Jack. Her gaze was directed at the lightened up screen of her phone, where Jack already could see some unopened messages. Maybe Hiccup already tried to get in touch with her?

It wouldn't surprise him at all.

But would Jack want to talk about his crush? Because this was crush? Jack had a crush on Hiccup, right? He liked him more than a friend and wanted to spend more time with him to get to know him better. He wanted to see Hiccup smile more, this genuine grin with his teeth sticking out a little bit. He wanted to see small wrinkles appear in the corner of his eyes when Hiccup was enjoying himself. He wanted Hiccup to not be afraid of showing himself and his emotions more. He wanted for Hiccup to simply feel good with himself and not try to pretend to be someone else. Because he was perfect the way he was – all awkward, hesitant, shy, but full with passion and love for his friends.

Jack kept all of those emotions inside of him like they were unimportant, maybe even a little bit bad on the side. But they weren't bad. They shouldn't even be. He shouldn't feel sorry or apologize for feeling something more than a friendship. Stuff like this happens every day.

And even though he still wasn't even close to knowing what he wanted to do with himself and his new revelation (maybe he even stepped back, if he considered the knowledge of today finally sinking in) it felt… good to share this information.

Jack didn't regret it.

And Astrid looked like she wanted to help in this matter.

"You ready to write that down?"

Or maybe this wasn't even a question, but an order.

Jack fumbled quickly with his pockets, searching for the device. He found it near his leg and took it out.

Astrid listed down her phone number, which Jack saved as simple 'Astrid'. After that he told her his own number, which she also saved.

"Okay, if you ever want to talk about your crush just send me a message. I'm quite good at this type of talks." Astrid said, slowly moving off the back of the bench. She moved to her bags and hung them on her hand.

"Much practices?" Jack asked, jumping from the bench himself and brushing away any snow that could residue on his trouser.

"You wouldn't even believe how much practice I actually have."

Jack probably wouldn't. Astrid honestly looked like the type who hates every romance related topics. But maybe she just switches off during those talks and only nods when she thinks it is necessary. That would be less surprising than her listening intensely to someone talk about their love life.

But life was full of surprises. Today quite confirmed this theory.

Jack didn't comment it, yet nudged with his head in the direction of the outskirts of the city where they both lived. He proposed holding some of her bags on the way to their homes, but she told him that she can manage to do it on her own.

Still stubborn and still independent.

Jack felt good that Astrid was returning to her former self. He hoped that he had some part in lifting up her mood, because there was simply no way that Hiccup and Astrid would remain in an argument for a pretty long time.

Jack walked Astrid home first, at what the girl only snorted and told him that she would manage to do it on her own. So similar to Hiccup. But Jack simply wanted to do it.

When they were almost partying their ways, Astrid bit her bottom lip first, like she was unsure whether she wanted to voice her thoughts out loud or not. But in the end the first option won the game.

"Jack." She swallowed slowly. "I really meant it when I told you to write to me if you want to talk about your feelings. Honestly." She huffed exasperatedly, brushing away the nagging, blonde fringe from her forehead. "And I won't tell him about you, so you don't have to worry about it."

He didn't expect it really, but it was welcomed nevertheless. It set a soft rhythm to the beating of his heart. Calming the waves and storm ripping through his chest.

It wasn't okay, but it was fine… for now.

"And I won't tell anyone about what happened between us today." Jack nodded, feeling that he had to confirm it to her one more time.

"Thanks. See ya later then, Jack."

"See you."

She smirked at him, turned on her heel and walked to the door, not glancing back.

---

Hiccup felt miserable. No, no, he felt devastated. Lost, hollow, or maybe he felt sorrow with a gradient of anger. Definitely he felt angry at himself. Even furious. Because it really was his fault. He fucked up, simply as that. Yop, failed on the whole, long line. He choked on the opportunity given to him. And even though he knew it wasn't wrong to be happy about talking with your crush, he simply felt bad that he overlooked the consequences of his actions. He was too enamored by Aster's messages, that he pushed his friends away.

Almost forgot about them.

He was a terrible friend. Hiccup will be blessed if Astrid ever talks to him again. But this idea scared him the most. Was sending tons of blaring alarms and signals through his body, making him shiver in fear.

Right now, right now he was laying on his bed, hugging Toothless like he was the last life jacket on a falling down plane. At first the cat had tried to get away, but stopped when he had sensed that his owner was in distress.

And Hiccup was. And he needed every bit of connection he could get. And his cat was perfect here.

Toothless purred under Hiccup's chin, finally reconciled with his fate as he rested his head on the teen's chest.

Hiccup sighed heavily and grabbed his phone, brushing his finger on the screen. He wanted to make up with Astrid, but whenever he opened the tab to message her, the overwhelming fear took over his heart and fingers. Because he was simply afraid that she wouldn't want to respond.

Hiccup was afraid of losing her over a minor thing as a stupid argument about stupid crush and Hiccup stupidly overlooking his friends.

Stupid, stupid, stupid…

He felt bad for acting like that. He knew he did wrong and he wanted to amend for that, but he didn't know how.

The unanswered message from Aster was almost laughing at him right now, but Hiccup was in no mood to answer it anymore. Not right now, not at this hour, not today. And even though the butterflies were still there, the bigger fear was winning in this fight.

He felt… lost. Not knowing what to do in this situation.

He wouldn't deny the prickling sensations in the corner of his eyes, but he couldn't cry. Not right now.

Hiccup took a deep breath. His heart was beating fast, unnaturally fast inside his ribcage, making it almost painful. It was terrible, he wanted it all to end. He wanted the good old times to come back, when Aster had been still a person to admire from far away and Astrid had been still with him, teasing about his crush. The time when Hiccup and Jack had talked freely about important and not things, with no barriers. A time when conversations with Jack had made Hiccup feel secure, calm and fully himself.

He wanted to talk with Jack, to feel like his old self one more time.

His fingers quickly found the contact list, searching for the familiar 'The Hottest Dude You Have Ever Se'. Maybe in other situation he would think twice about his decisions, but right now he wanted to hear Jack's voice.

The beeping started as he put the phone to his ear. One, two, three, fou-

"Hey Hiccup. What's up? You rarely call me." The same voice, chirpy, always happy, optimistic, warm, nice, comforting – everything that was the true epitomes of Jack – said from the other side.

And he felt his throat closing down. He tried to respond, to say something, to… he didn't really know what he wanted from the call.

His hands trembled and he still didn't answer Jack.

"Hiccup?" This time Jack sounded wary, unsure, and a little bit scared. "Everything's okay?"

And of course he was instantly worrying over Hiccup. So typical, so Jack, so… needed right now.

Toothless nudged his chin and Hiccup found out that he was biting into his bottom lip for at least some time now.

"Hiccup? Talk to me."

And somehow it destroyed the sudden blockade put on him by some kind of regulator inside his brain. The beeping alarms which had resonated until now with red lights inside his head, shut down as the exhaustion got to them, destroying whole mechanism in the process.

"Jack..." Hiccup sniffed, feeling his nose already getting full. His other hand reached for his eyes and took off his glasses.

"Hiccup? What's wrong?!" Oh no. Hiccup made Jack scared. Knowing him he probably was terrified by the messy voice Hiccup just used.

"I think… I think Astrid hates me now." He managed to choke out between sobs that suddenly jerked his body.

"What?" There was a small pause, maybe hesitation, or maybe Jack's processor was only now comprehending the information given to it. "What happened?" The voice was way softer. "Wait, I'm coming over now."

"No, no, Jack, you don't have to." But there was already sound of rummaging and shuffling on the other side. Hiccup didn't want to invest Jack so much into the situation, he only wanted to hear his voice to help him regain his balance. "Jack, honestly."

"Wait, I need to put my jeans on and I'm ready." Jack grumbled from the other side and it looked like he put the phone between his shoulder and head and now was trying to put on his trousers.

"No, Jack take off your pants right now!" At least Hiccup's voice wasn't wavering as much. A glance to his side told him that it was already way too late. Almost near midnight. Great. "It's too late for you to come out. Please. My Dad is sleeping and I don't want to wake him up with you coming inside."

There was a sudden silence on the other side, then Hiccup sniffed and the sound was followed by a groan.

"Okay, I'll take my pants off. If you so gravely insist."

Of course this was what Jack's caught from the previous sentence. Stupid innuendos.

"Thanks." Hiccup said hoarsely, brushing away the tears with the sleeve of his sweater. Or at least the remains of them. Huh?

"No problem, mi amigo. Now tell me what happened? Between you and Astrid."

Hiccup smiled crookedly under his nose.

Something in the way Jack wanted to help Hiccup by coming over was endearing. Of course, it was kind of stupid, childish and probably totally impulsive, but it showed that Jack still cared for Hiccup. And even though the teen was moving himself further and further away from him, that part still remained the same.

They were still friends.

But Hiccup couldn't help, but to wish for Jack to talk with him about what was bugging the taller teen lately.

Jack was helping everyone around him, was always there where you needed a shoulder to lean on, was always full of good things to say to lift someone's spirit up.

But was someone there for him? Someone to whom Jack could turn when he was in need, someone who would listen to all his problems, not matter how minor or major they were, someone who could help him through dire times?

"Hiccup?"

Hiccup had to do something in return. He had to try, maybe harder than ever, because social relationships weren't his thing. But maybe if he put a lot of strength in it, maybe if he hint something or maybe if he simply stay by his side, then Jack will tell Hiccup what was wrong.

"I was out with Astrid today and…"

But it all was only a theory filled with too many 'maybes'. There wasn't enough information to confirm it. There was even a big risk of losing. Maybe the chances of failing were even larger than the ones of succeeding.

But Jack had done so many things for Hiccup, that Hiccup wanted to try to repay the debt. Even if this meant getting out of his comfort zone.

It couldn't be that bad, right?

---

Author's note:

Omg, finally done! This chapter took a lot of time, even though I had it finished long time ago. I'll try to put the chapters more often from now on (the summer and the rest of the year quite complicated my schedule).

I also got a beta-reader! But unfortunately our schedules couldn't work together that well, so he only could check half of this chapter. But say hello to Gio! And thank you Gio for your hard work :3!

And anyway, nerd's facts

*Liquid nitrogen – is nitrogen in a liquid state at an extremely low temperature. It is a colorless clear liquid with its boiling point −195.79 °C (77 K; −320 °F). Anyway it is pretty, pretty cold!

*Thicker than tar – tar is a dark brown or black viscous liquid of hydrocarbons and free carbon, obtained from a wide variety of organic materials through destructive distillation. It is very dense substance.

*Sugar Rush – game from Wreck-It Ralph. I totally adore this movie!

And some answers:

MissPurple1234 – This means so much to me ;_; Thank you! And I totally understand, I'm not a fan of some AUs either! The plot thickness! I hope you liked this chapter too!

AnhiVann – Jack as a dork is the best (highfive)! Huehuehue, I'm glad you're curious! I hope I can resolve this plot at some point! And thank you!

hixup – Omg thank you! You're lovely! The questions will hopefully be all answered in future chapters! And thank you.

Guest – Well, who knows, who knows… xD And I understand, sometimes I don't like love triangles either! And thank you. You're amazing!

WeasleyWitchesForever – I'm so glad! And I totally understand your point of view! Aster looks like this type of guy who doesn't need anyone else. Thank you.

PEPSICOLASHIPPER – Hahaha, I will try to be more frequent with updates. With the end of semester and quite hectic holidays, it was hard to keep up witch schedules. But I'll hope to be back in normal updates soon. I think that a lot of aspects of science is totally cool, and I want to share it with the others! And I'm totally glad you like them (omg I want to hug you right now!). And yeah… let's hope Jack will be happier in future chapters! Thank youuu!

StarButterfly13 – Nah, no worries, you won't be hated. I don't mind the criticism. I understand you point of view, but that remind me about a sentence I probably read on tumblr – that the fanfiction is not written for you, but shared with you. And of course, I want for more people to read my story, but I also want to feel comfortable while writing it. I know my style is not perfect (the first chapters especially confirms it), but slowly, step after step I'm finding my own style of writing. And I honestly like this not relevant parts between important parts of the story (maybe because I liked this one pretty boring polish book titled 'Lalka'). And here actually I have to disagree. While I'm reading the story, when I see a part I don't understand, I love to have it explained to me at some point. Plus I want to share the science with the rest of the world. But I still totally understand you and I'm not mad (I also stopped reading few fanfictions due to author's writing) and thank you for pointing out mistakes. I'm definitely going to work on them, but I'll still want to feel comfortable with my writing style =D!

And thank you Reader for staying with me!

See ya!