A/N: Hello again friends! Please make sure you read "Inappropriate Love" before you read this! I will make much more sense, I promise! Anyway, enjoy Edward's POV this time. More at the bottom!
Chapter 1 – EPOV
"I'll be right back," I said to Bella, picking up our empty coffee cups and walking out of the conference room. I tossed them in the garbage in the breakroom, pulling out new cups and sticking them under the coffee maker and throwing in a kcup.
Waiting for the coffee to brew for both of us gave me a few minutes to think. I was really dreading what I had to tell Bella, so I needed to really think through the words I was going to use. There really was no easy way to say this. The last two years working with her had been amazing – and while I was happy about the opportunity I was being given, I would really miss working with her.
When Marcus had offered me a manager position under him, I had been floored. Ironically, though, the first thing that came to my mind was where would Bella go. He smiled saying that she would be reporting to Rose, who was also being promoted. While I was happy to hear that for Rose's sake, I was sad that she wasn't coming with me.
It had taken me a week to accept the offer. Marcus and I had known each other for some time, and he had been gracious to allow me time to consider everything. I hadn't discussed it with Kate at all; I knew what her response would be. If I would bring us more money then I should take it. That was always what concerned her most.
I sighed, grabbing the coffee cup and went back to the conference room. I opted to just get Bella coffee and not myself; though I was tired, I knew that I wouldn't sleep if I had coffee this late at night. I sat the coffee down in front of her, saying, "Here."
She smiled at me, looking as tired as I felt. "Thanks," she said quietly, suppressing a yawn. "Going to have a hell of a time sleeping tonight, so I may as well enjoy some coffee while I'm at it."
I laughed; the fact that she and I thought so similarly still amused me. I sat back down next to her, pretending to work on the presentation, knowing that I really couldn't wait any longer to tell her. She would start reporting to Rose next week; I had asked that I be the one to tell her, and Rose and Marcus had agreed – but only if I told her this week.
She reacted as I expected her to, and I really couldn't blame her. As I held her hand and gave her the bad news, staring into her eyes. For the last two years I had kept myself in check with Bella, but at this moment, with her face looking so sad, I couldn't do it any longer.
"Can I say something?"
She snorted, rolling her eyes at me. "Of course."
"Well, maybe 'say something' is wrong. Can I do something?" I swallowed thickly, unsure of what her reaction was going to be. I had to do it. I had to know if all of these feelings that I had for her would amount to anything. I had thought of virtually nothing other than her for the last two damn years – I had to know if she felt the same way.
She waved her hand at me, indicating for me to go ahead, and I seized my opportunity. I grabbed her, pulling her close to me, pushing my lips against hers. I almost sighed audibly at the contact, as the feeling of rightness swirled around me. She threw her arms around me and I moaned, trying desperately to get even closer to her. I lifted her up, pushing everything on the table back, setting her down; keeping my lips pressed tightly to hers. My eyes were exploding in sensation with her this close, and I was harder than I'd ever remembered being before. I moved away from her mouth so that we could both catch our breath.
"Edward," she moaned quietly, pushing against me. "I need...more."
With my lips on her neck, I asked her to be patient. Her skin tasted like a combination of cinnamon and sugar, at least to me. It was a combination that went straight to my dick, making it strain against my pants painfully.
"Did I say that out loud?" she laughed. The laugh broke my concentration, and made me pause. I didn't want to pause, I didn't want to stop...but, I needed to know if she wanted this, too.
"I'm not sure why I did that," I lied, not wanting her to really know what was going on in my mind yet. If she wanted this – me – then I would tell her the truth. I needed to give her the opportunity to say no, if that's what she really wanted. Kissing was one thing; what I wanted was so much more.
Her eyes danced when she made a joke about fucking. God, I was going to have to do something tonight. My dick was going to start hammering its way through my pants in a minute if I didn't. I started kissing her again, trying to tell her with every touch of my lips what I wanted, and how I felt about her.
When she suggested that we go back to her hotel I wanted to jump in my car and race her there, but for just a moment, I thought about Kate. I thought about the promises I made her when we got married. That fraction of a second was enough to cause doubt for Bella.
"Listen, we don't have to do anything. It may be too much for both of us, given our situations."
I opted to tell her part of the truth – how much I wanted her, and for how long. I couldn't tell her that I was fairly certain that I was in love with her already. There was no way I could do that without scaring her, I was sure of that. Thankfully, I realized that we were both on the same page. When she asked me a second time to go to her hotel, I didn't even hesitate.
As I followed her to her hotel, I called Kate. I needed the night, I knew that. I had to give this a real try, to see if she could feel for me what I did already for her. Which meant that I couldn't just have a quickie in her hotel and go back home.
"Hey, Edward. When are you coming home? I'm bored," Kate whined into the phone.
"Katie, I'm sorry, but it's going to be a few more hours." I swerved in traffic to stay right behind Bella.
"A few more hours?" she practically shrieked. "I'm planning on going to bed soon, Edward! If you wake me up when you come home, I won't be able to get back to sleep!"
"I was thinking of just getting a hotel room near the office. I can come home first thing in the morning to change before going into the office. That way, I don't wake you up."
She sniffed, clearly unhappy with the arrangement. "I guess that's fine. Just make sure not to be here too early. I'm not up until 7, and you know that."
"I know, Katie. I won't be there before 7 I promise. I'll see you in the morning."
"You will have to make this up to me, you know."
"What do you want?" I was almost afraid to ask.
"Can you clear my credit card again? I really need some new shoes, Eddie." God, I hated it when she called me that. She knew, but didn't care. She only ever called me that when she needed something from me.
"Yeah, Katie, I'll clear your card."
"You'll set the amount used back to zero?"
"Yeah, I will."
She squealed, clapping her hands. "Thank you, Eddie!"
"OK, Katie, I gotta get back in there."
"Bye Eddie, love you!" And she hung up. For once since we had gotten married, I was thankful that I hadn't had to say it back to her. She often hung up on me in that manner, so it wasn't new. It was just the first time I wasn't upset about it.
There was a strange sort of peace that enveloped me as I got closer to Bella's hotel. The strength of my feelings for her were threatening to overwhelm me, to the point that I knew I was going to tell her how I felt tonight. Falling in love with her had been easy, as if I was destined to do so. My heart was racing thinking of being able to kiss her again...to be able to show her how I felt physically. I was high on my love for her, and it was making my skin tingle at just the thought.
By the time we got to the hotel, I was eager to touch her again. I reached out and grabbed her hand, not even caring if there was anyone there who would recognize us. I held it all the way up to her room, waiting impatiently for her to get the door open to her suite. As soon as the door shut, I couldn't contain myself any longer. I grabbed her and pressed her against the door, touching her like she was the air I needed to breath in order to stay alive.
Because she was. She was everything that was perfect in my life. Through the last two years I had found that she was the best part of work; best part of every day I had. Kissing and touching her was urgent and breathless, because I couldn't do it any other way.
It took concentrated effort to get her shirt and bra off, while she was trying to get my own shirt off. I was struggling to continue to breathe as I saw her for the first time. "Even more beautiful than in my imagination," I whispered, skimming my hands over her nipples. She held back a moan. I couldn't have her do that, I needed to hear her; I wouldn't be able to hold myself back, and she shouldn't either. "Don't hold back, baby. I want to hear everything."
I led her to the bed, shedding clothes on our way. My brain was fuzzy, as though I'd had a narcotic. And I realized that the feeling was coming from Bella. She was better than any drug my college friends described having. She made me feel powerful and giddy; strong and crazy...and I was completely addicted to her.
But even with those feelings in the air, I looked at her questioningly. I had to make sure this was truly what she wanted. We were about to cross a line, and while I knew what I was going to do after the line was crossed, I couldn't presume to know what her thoughts were. She smirked at me, as if she was trying not to laugh, and the tone changed in the room. Instead of mashing fingers and lips, it was softer and fun.
Bella had always represented fun to me, even from almost the first day we started working together. Her sense of humor, dry wit, and tendency to say whatever she thought was highly amusing, and honestly, I couldn't live without it. I knew immediately she was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in my life, but as soon as her personality started to come into our work, I fell just a little farther.
I laid her on the bed, discarding our respective underwear, and lined myself up with her. I couldn't get enough of how her lips tasted, how her body felt, and how all of it made me feel. I felt like I was buzzing with electricity in every place that I touched her; it was a heady feeling. All the blood was pooling in my dick, and it was straining to be inside her. I couldn't wait any longer. I deepened our kiss and pushed inside her slowly.
I sighed in satisfaction, at the same time she did as well. I held myself still for just a moment, reveling in the sensations that were all around me. She was tight and warm, enveloping me within a cocoon of pure and unadulterated passion. My skin was buzzing, my head was cloudy and my heart was racing. I slowly began to move inside her, pulling back so I could look into her eyes.
I saw in a movie once that making love while staring into your partner's eyes was the closest you would come to seeing their soul with your own eyes. And, fuck it, I believed it. When her eyes rolled back into her head, closing, I had to stop that. I needed to see her like I needed to breathe.
"Don't you dare look away now." I kissed her again before leaning back so I could stare into her eyes that just opened. Her chocolate brown eyes stared into mine, and I felt complete – whole – more so than any other time in my entire life.
I held her eyes as I continued to move inside her, resisting my own urge to close my eyes to enjoy the sensations. I just wanted this with her. I didn't know if this would be the first and last time I was with her, and I needed to have this connection at least once.
Feeling she was getting close, I grabbed her leg under my arm, and repositioned myself so that I could rub her clit. I was going to burst soon, I knew it, and I didn't want her to be left hanging. Her eyes left mine at that point, most likely due to the overwhelming sensations, and I couldn't blame her. Though, I missed her eyes the second they closed. I lowered my face to her breast, taking the nipple in my mouth, swirling my tongue. I knew I was just overloading her more, but I couldn't help it. I wanted her to feel what I was feeling – how intense the entire experience was for me.
"Come for me, Bella," I whispered, bringing my tongue against her nipple again.
And then, the most amazing thing happened. Her chest arched into me, head thrown back, and her walls clenching me – and then she screamed. A guttural, rabid, uninhabited scream. Her pleasure had been so intense, she had screamed. I couldn't hold myself back at that point. I recaptured her lips, in order to drown some of the noise out, and I pushed within her again. Her release triggered mine, and I surged within her, seeing stars behind my eyes with the biggest orgasm I've ever had in my life.
My body was humming, and I still couldn't reopen my eyes, but I kept kissing her. I stayed within her for a few moments, relishing the feeling knowing I would have to slide out soon. I needed this, I needed her, like it was necessary for my survival. I was fully, 100%, in love with her. No matter what she said next, or what happened, I knew that would never change.
Eventually, I felt myself slide out of her and I shifted so that we could both breathe better. I laid down on the side of the bed, careful not to touch her, though I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. She looked content, but I was worried that she would regret what we did. Since both of us were married, I was worried about what she would think now that the blind passion was past.
Carefully, I formatted my words. Even after what we had just done – which was simply the most amazing sex I'd ever had in my life – there was worry over what would happen next. "Did..." I started, glancing away from her. I was sure she could see every feeling I had written in my eyes. "Should we have done that?" I held my breath waiting for her to answer. Did she feel as I did, or would she be wracked with guilt?
She told me that she didn't regret it, though I was still cautious, but when she told me about her husband and how they hadn't had sex in almost five years, I was beyond shocked. Living with someone that looked like her, and had her personality, and not initiating sex? What a fucking idiot. I scooted closer to her, kissing her, telling her wordlessly how I felt about her, while explaining that she should be filled with pleasure every day.
We kissed slowly, and I basked in the feeling of her. But as she lowered her face, I caught a glimpse of a tear sliding down her face. She had said she didn't regret what we did, right? Why was she crying? Had I done something – other than potentially ruin our marriages – to cause her to feel sad?
"Bella..." I whispered, slipping even closer to her. I begged her in my mind to tell me why she was crying, what had caused it, and how I could fix it. I couldn't be the cause of problems for her, and if that meant that I needed to leave her so that she could be happy, I would do it.
"No, really, it's fine. I knew this would end this way. I just wanted to pretend for a moment or two," she said, as though I knew exactly how she was feeling. She rolled away from me, eyes staring up into the ceiling. "You should go, Edward. Your wife is expecting you."
"No, I'm not leaving. I already told her that I wouldn't be home tonight. That I chose to stay at a hotel close to the office. Bella, I'm not leaving."
She looked at me again, eyes confused. "Why?"
I shifted back onto of her, and found my way back inside her. As I did this, the dam broke. I told her everything in my head. How I wanted to pretend that she and I were together; that I wanted to feel her with every part of my body. And then, finally, I leaned back, still moving inside of her, and I told her what I most wanted to say.
"Maybe I wanted to be inside you when I tell you that I love you." As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew how true they were. I had never felt this way for anything, my wife included. Every part of my being called out for Bella, and my body responded the only way it could. I needed to be closer to her, filling her with every single part of myself.
She started crying, looking into my eyes. I kissed away the tears, still fearful at her response. She didn't say stop, and she didn't look like she wanted to, but tears continued to fall. I kissed them all away, before bringing my mouth back to hers.
"I love you, baby." I started thrusting into her harder, unable to look away from her face. I saw uncertainty, I was sure of it. I couldn't stop telling her now, and I didn't want to. But I didn't know how she felt still.
"Edward..." she moaned, her eyes closing as her chest pressed up into me. My name didn't tell me anything, even if she felt similar. I was frustrated; I needed her to believe what I was telling her. And I desperately needed to know what she thought, too.
"Bella, look at me," I commanded, pushing into her even faster. Her eyes opened slowly. I couldn't read the emotion behind them, so I continued. "I want you to look at me and see that I'm not lying. I'm not just telling you something I think you want to hear. That I am not saying this just to sleep with you. I love you."
For a moment I was terrified. Determination is what I was seeing behind her eyes. More tears leaked out as she stared up at me. She brought her hand to my face, smiling. "Edward, I love you more than anything in the world."
And then, just as suddenly as I felt the fear earlier, my world was right. It was picked up and put back on its axis by the amazing woman underneath me. I couldn't help but smile, telling her to come for me again. I wanted to stay in this position with her forever, but I knew that we needed to talk and make decisions. Now that I knew our feelings were mutual, we had to have that conversation.
She surprised me by pushing me back and settling on top of me, lining me up to slide inside her. This position was my favorite already. My hands were free to roam her body, and honestly, she looked glorious on top of me, our bodies moving in sync. My hands settled on her hips, guiding her, moaning at the contact. She leaned down and kissed me, telling me she wanted control. Fuck if that comment didn't go straight to my dick.
But I felt the fear return when she said she wanted to pretend that this whole thing was real. I told her it was, that I loved her, but she still looked sad – defeated. I had to stop this! She needed to understand exactly what she meant to me, and that nothing outside of this room mattered. As long as I was with her, I knew I would be happy. She was the only thing in this entire damn world I cared about.
I put my hands on her cheeks, desperate to make her believe me. "I've never met anyone like you. If I had met you years ago, I wouldn't be married to her right now. Bella, baby, I need you. I can't live without you now."
The fear was edging everything else out of me, so I brought my hand down to her clit, knowing that would get her off quickly. We needed to have this conversation. I needed to make her understand. She cried out my name, falling over the edge and collapsing on my body. Just as it had happened the last time, her release caused mine, and I surged inside her again.
She kissed me slowly, but didn't open her eyes. I had no way of knowing what she was thinking. "Bella," I whispered, begging her to look at me. She leaned back and our eyes met and I really wanted to stop the hurt behind them. "Please talk to me."
"I don't know what to say."
Suddenly, I was desperate. I had to make sure she felt exactly what I had. "Tell me you love me and you want to be with me," I begged her. My eyes were focused on hers, and I found myself growing hard again already. No one could make me feel this way but her, I knew that much.
She told me that she wanted to be with me, and I relished in that thought. I told her the truth, how I saw our future, how I wanted her in my life desperately. I told her that I couldn't imagine my life without her, and my god was it the truth. Now that I knew what it was like to really be with her, I couldn't imagine my life the way it had been.
I wanted to start moving inside her, but I resisted initially. She joked about performance reviews, and I finally began moving inside her. We laughed, and she moved on top of me even more. My love for her was growing rapidly, and it was consuming me. I remembered wanting this kind of love when I was younger, but I honestly had thought it didn't exist. It was Bella; that's what I was missing. She was the missing piece of the puzzle for my life.
After I told her that, the tone changed. I became desperate to get closer to her, almost as if my body wanted to claw its way completely inside her. Her movements were rushed as well, and we tore at each other's skin, desperate for just more. When she told me she needed me harder, I shifted our position and slammed into her, just like we both wanted – needed.
"Baby, look at me," I said with rasping breath, heart racing. She came the second our eyes met, screaming loudly. She pushed me over the edge as she trembled around me, and I saw stars behind my eyes again. Leaning down, my head fell to her shoulder, totally out of breath. "Fuck." I could barely think; damn that had been intense.
Her laughed registered in my brain after a few seconds. Her fingers scratching lightly on the back of my neck was extremely distracting. "Yeah. Fuck indeed."
My laughter joined hers, and I kissed her softly. "It just gets better and better."
"Two pieces of a puzzle, Edward? Do you really believe that?"
I brought my hand to her cheek, loving her so much it hurt. I tried to tell her the truth, how I felt, how right this all was. I wasn't sure that the information coming out of my head was even right, I was so taken with her that my brain wasn't quite working. Until she said the one thing I wasn't expecting.
"Edward, what are we going to do?"
My brain started working again, and I remembered what we both had waiting for us at home. I didn't know how we were going to get through this, but I knew what I was going to do. As always with Bella, I chose honesty.
"Divorce. It's the only way."
"Do you want that?"
I couldn't look away from her; I knew what I wanted, but I didn't know if we were on the same page. "I want you. I can't...I can't let you go, Bella."
She brought her hand up to my cheek. "It's going to be really hard. There is going to be pain brought to those I know we both love. Am I worth going through that for, Edward?"
"You are worth whatever hardships I have to go through. I want to be with you. I'd walk on fire to get to you, my Bella." I was silently demanding that she believed me. I needed her to understand.
She smiled at me, and I smiled back. "I love you so much, Edward. I know this is going to be hard, but we can do this. We will find our way to being together, baby."
I shifted off of her, suddenly exhausted. I curled into her side, hugging her close, my lips on her shoulder. "I'm glad we have the night. I couldn't move right now if I wanted to."
She laughed, curling so that her back was to me, snuggling backwards so we were pressed together. "You will never live down three times, Edward. That's insane for most men."
I laughed, running my hands along her arm, pulling her even closer to me. "If you give me a minute, I might be able to do round number four, baby."
"Oh, god, Edward, give me some time to recover." She laughed harder though.
"Sore, baby? I'm sorry. I can't seem to control myself around you." I kissed her shoulder. "But get used to it. When we are together all the time, this is how life is going to be for us."
"We'll never get any work done."
"Thank god."
A/N: For some reason, I can't seem to let this little story go. I just posted an outtake on Inappropriate Love, hopefully most of you found this story as a result. Please make sure to read that story if you haven't already; then you can read this one. I promise it will make it even better. Plus, you may get spoilers in my comments if you haven't read that first :)
I got to thinking, after writing the outtake, that I really wanted to hear more from Edward in this situation. All of the trials that he went through to end his marriage were skimmed over, and I wanted to give you all pieces of what he went through.
I haven't decided yet if I'm going to do chapter for chapter, or if I'm going to do them all. But I will try. For now, expect a weekly posting (sooner as I finish the chapters, and get the beta'd) at a minimum.
Also remember that I am still posting Twist of Fate, my Twilight vamp fic. I have completely written it out, just in the middle of editing. I post twice a week (Wednesday and Saturday).
Thank you all for getting this far. I hope you enjoyed! Shout out to my Facebook friends on Cheatward's Spot! Please go and hang out with them, they are awesome and fun – and have some amazing story recs!