UNLOVED

(Part II of 'Memories of a Forsworn: Morzan'-Collection)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Inheritance Cycle. This is just for fun.

Summary: Selena remembers Morzan. Morzan, who was her first love.

~ I ~

Selena was lying on her bed, the servants bringing her dozens of blankets to keep her warm. One moment she was freezing, despite her forehead burning up, the next she was hot and feeling like she couldn't breathe, but too weak to push the blankets off of her.

She was sweating heavily, barely noticing her eldest boy standing in her room, looking at her in shock. Out of the corner of her eye she could see, that even after all these months of her absence, the child still needed bandages for the scar on his back not to tear up.

What would this child have to go through in life? What doom had she brought upon him by leaving him with his father?

She dreaded thinking about Morzan in her last hours, but she couldn't stop the memories that kept coming to her, as if her life was playing before her inner eye.

~ II ~

He was a thing of beauty. His hair was the darkest shade she had ever seen, distinguishing him from probably everyone in the Palancar Valley.

When Morzan passed through Carvahall, only five of the Forsworn were still alive. Though this village had always been of little interest to King Galbatorix, everyone had heard of the stories of the rider war. Morzan was no exception and they recognized him immediately, his red dragon a beast so giant, Selena felt as if it could swallow the sun.

The villagers had tried to pay him no attention, returning to their everyday work while Morzan went about his business, but Selena knew that out of the corner of their eyes, they watched him in fear – and awe, for she did the same. He was built tall, with broad shoulders and of lean stature and although the blacksmiths and farmers of the town were bulkier, they didn't emanate the same kind of strength and manliness that the rider did.

One night, when Selena had been on her way home with nothing but the moon to light her way, she noticed she was being followed. Running for life, she stumbled upon Morzan, who only had to stare at the man who had chased her for him to flee.

He was kind and charismatic and so unbelievably handsome.

~ III ~

Soon, he was already about to leave again when Selena had asked him, against all advice of her brother and father, to take her with him. She had heard the stories of the traitor, as they called him. She knew how old Morzan had to be, though his appearance betrayed the long life he had lived, but she didn't care.

It had not been love at that point, but mostly curiosity; about the world, about dragons and mostly about the man himself.

To her surprise, he actually agreed and years later she still wondered why. She had been a beauty, but nothing the women at court couldn't match. Why her?

For almost a year, they travelled through the lands of Alagaesia. During that time, he taught her many things, educating her in history (the Forsworn side of the events) and teaching her how to battle. But Selena wasn't made for the open fight with a sword, so he taught her the secrets of the ancient language.

Travelling with him for such a long time changed the way she felt for him. Selena wanted him, wanted more from him, but was faced with rejection, for he prouded himself to be above the seduction of a woman.

When she tried her advances, reaching for one of his strains of hair to tuck behind his ear, he snatched her hand and stared at her like predator. She realized that although she was his most trusted servant, this was still nothing to him. He only cared about himself and already too deeply in love, Selena didn't mind, if only she could show him how much she cared.

~ IV ~

Swearing herself to him in the ancient language was still not enough for him. He sent her onto missions more often and when she came back to Uru'baen, he would rarely be there to meet her in person.

One night however, he returned to the place they had agreed to meet on time, smelling of drink and his eyes weary. It was the only night he ever came to her chamber, undressing his armour and joining her under the blankets. And she welcomed him hungrily.

When he buried himself inside of her, his teeth bit down hard on her neck, and she let out a gasp, her nails scratching the skin of his back that covered those strained muscles. Everything about him was so distinctly male and the fact that he was there, showing her his most vulnerable side.. she couldn't help but spill tears of joy as he finally joined their lips, though that happiness was not to last long.

It was the last time he ever let her feel alive.

As if fate wanted to punish him for showing weakness, Selena became with child.

Anger flashed in his eyes at the news and reacting quickly, he spirited her away to his castle, hidden in the Spine near Leona Lake.

Suddenly, there was nothing left of Morzan's kindness, blaming her for his failure that was their child.

~ V ~

Already, he was as beautiful as his father. His locks were a dark shade of brown, darker then hers but fairer than Morzan's. At least his eyes were hers: grey like rainy clouds.

Surely, Morzan loved him, right? Just as he loved her? Why else would he have hidden them away? Right?

The bruises on her skin told her something different. Selena had heard the rumours people spread about her; how deadly she was and how Morzan gave her only the most difficult of tasks. And maybe that was true. But as deadly as she was, she could not defend herself from the man people saw as her husband.

Why had it taken her more than three years to realize, that no matter what she would do, Morzan would never really trust her?

~ VI ~

During the birth of her boy, something inside her had changed. Morzan didn't seem to notice that she was able to fulfil her missions in a more.. free way than before, as if the chains on her legs had suddenly become lose.

But Selena had not time to ponder why that was. Only if he was pleased with her, would he allow the mother to see Murtagh.

Then she met him: Brom. With the intent to kill her, he had managed to sneak into their castle, only to fall in love with her as he had watched her from the shadows.

The time she was allowed to see her son, she also met with Brom, who she learned had been Morzan's friend at one time in their early lives. Brom was very unlike her former lover. Where Morzan was pride and fire and beauty, Brom was calm and pure and modest. They could not have been more different, and yet, she found himself falling for him too.

Suddenly, love was something else. It was no longer rejection, pain and a raging man, but forgiveness, trust and warmth and Selena woke to a new life when she found herself pregnant with Brom's child. Unlike the last time however, she was free from the red rider's chains and ready to save that little person inside her belly.

She wouldn't wait for Morzan to cut him down as well.

~ VII ~

Five months she had been gone, hiding in her old home until her child was born. How beautiful he was and unlike Murtagh, he actually looked like her.

But great guilt had plagued her for leaving her oldest behind, so she had rode back to the castle, with high fever and pain in all her joints.

And now she was here, unable to save the boy. Morzan had left to fight Brom, the servants had told her, but she wouldn't live long enough to find out who would come back alive. Tears spilled from her eyes at the fear that Brom may be slain at her former lover's hands.

Everything that witch had foreseen had come true.

Selena bid her last farewell to Murtagh before closing her eyes, for she knew that falling asleep would mean never waking up again.

End note: This was planned to be more Morzan-centric than Selena. I really, really don't like her character, so it was.. interesting to write.

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