You thought last chapter was long? Ha!

Again, sorry for those who don't like that but I can't help myself…

Anyway, I hope you'll like this part, it's angsty and fluffy, and everything Hayffie needs!

(this part was proofread under the heavy influence of opiates, so please, don't be angry with me, blame my dentist and codeine… And do not hesitate to tell me if you see any mistake left! ^^)

And as usual, please leave a review, I love reviews. They warm my heart.

December

That morning, Effie is walking with a spring in her steps.

It's the first day of December, and December means Christmas!

She is sporting her best smile when she arrives at the diner, but it quickly disappears when she hears the commotion inside.

She should have known, holidays means decorations, decorations means Plutarch's speech, and Plutarch's speech leads inevitably to Haymitch's screams. But this time it's worst than the arguments she had witnessed before.

She doesn't even need to enter to hear them.

"Come on, Haymitch. Please, the whole town is participating, we need you too. To be very honest, the participation is mandatory. If you don't we'll be disqualified."

"I don't care about your stupid fucking contest Plutarch. I won't put a single fucking ornament in this fucking diner!"

"Haymitch…At least do it for the girls, they deserve it… It's been almost twe..."

Plutarch doesn't have time to end his sentence. He is cut by a glass crashing against the wall inches away of his head.

"OUT!"

Plutarch doesn't linger any longer and storms out of the diner, almost jostling her on his way out. His face is red and white, still shocked by Haymitch's outburst of fury.

"Oh! Miss Trinket! I'm sorry!"

"No harm done." she reassures him. "What happened in here? Are you ok?"

"Yes, yes, I am fine do not worry about me. I should… I shouldn't have pushed him. I should have known but…" he stammers.

"What do you mean you should have known?"

"I should know better than to bother him at this time of the year but… This contest is really important for me and the town. I don't know what to do..." he truly seems upset now. Torn between his loyalty to his friend and to his town.

"What's this contest?"

"A decoration contest, it's the first time we're selected in ten years! But it is imperative that all the shops in town participate and at least sixty percent of the privates houses. We can't be disqualified now..."

"Maybe… I can try to talk to him..."

"That would be great. This contest is really important and I really believe it's important for him too. He needs to move on…"

What does he mean by that? Where does his hatred for decorating come from? Can it be because of his family… He had mentioned something that had happened years ago…

"I'll get back to you Mr Heavensbee. I need to go!"

Effie leaves him there and enters the diner. Haymitch is not back from the kitchen yet so she settles at a table to wait for him. After fifteen minutes, he still isn't back.

He must need some privacy and she can understand that, but she is getting a little worried. It's not like him to abandon his diner and customers like that.

When she passes the kitchen threshold, she sees him sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, breathing heavily. She hesitates but she comes closer slowly.

"Haymitch…?" she asks softly. He doesn't answer at first, doesn't even acknowledges her presence. So she tries again. "Haymitch?"

"Get out, Princess." he sighs, his voice hoarse and low. He doesn't even lifts his head to look at her.

"Haymitch. Talk to m..." she crouches and lifts a hand to touch him but she doesn't have time to reach him.

"Get out!" he shouts, slamming a hand on the cupboard next to him and still hiding his face in the other.

She startles and jumps on her feet. She had never seen him violent before. Tears comes to her eyes and a shiver creeps on her back, and she runs out the kitchen and out the diner.

Once back to the shop, she is mad at herself for leaving him, for letting fear win over her good sense. She shouldn't have left him there alone, she should have talked to him, helped him, coaxed him back with her. That's what girlfriends – if that's what she is to him – are for. He can't lock himself up in his grief like that forever…

She considers going to see Chaff to know a little more about it but she quickly abandons the idea. Haymitch would end up knowing it and he wouldn't like that. Instead, she decides to leave him his space for the day. She will try again when she feels him ready. She wants to help him, but for that, she needs to know.

The next days, he is still tensed and anywhere near ready. It even gets worse.

As much as she tries, she can't get to him. He doesn't respond to her attempts at bickering like he used to, he barely reacts to her flirting, and he refuses any kind of serious conversation.

He doesn't really talk to anybody to be honest. But all the people witnessing her dismay shoot her apologetic looks, but no help. Hazelle in particular, keeps telling her not to worry with a sorry little smile.

She hates it. She feels like of she's not worthy of this big secret. She feels like she's no one for them again.

On the third day, he snaps at her one time too many, in the almost crowded diner of five in the afternoon, and she runs away, not hiding her hurt and her tears.

She can understand hurt -even if she doesn't know the nature of it-, but she cannot bear to be his punching bag anymore, even less in public. She can't do all the work by herself, if he wants to get better he must talk to her.

But maybe that's the thing. Maybe he doesn't really want to get better. And maybe he doesn't want her to help him to get better.

She feels bad when she thinks about the girls, not having a real Christmas with a tree, decorations and winter activities... But she feels even worse after for her patronizing thoughts.

Who is she to decide how he should raise his children after all…

She doesn't see him the next day. Or the day after.

She tries to convince herself it's because she's angry, but it's a lie.

She's afraid.

Afraid to take the blow once more, afraid of his rejection, afraid to loose him. Afraid that the dream would end, or turn into a nightmare.

She is deeply persuaded that he must not care much about her to act like that with her. Or at least not as much as she cares for him. And she doesn't want to be the naive one again.

So she chooses to stay in the dark.

Of course, Portia sees her distress. It's quite hard to miss, she barely talks, chew her nails, spaces out… She asks her about it a few times, but Effie never answers the whole story. She doesn't even know what to say to be honest. He was mad and rejected her, and what?

One evening, as she is taking away the lasts unsold goods in the kitchen, she hears the doorbell chime. What kind of customer comes in to an empty display?

The thought that it could be Haymitch doesn't even brush her mind. She has no hope that he will come to apologize anymore…

She goes back in the shop to see who's disturbing her habits, her mouth already open to tell the intruder they're closed. But she can't emit a single sound. She expected everything but Chaff in his blue overalls and with sludge on his face.

She believes it's the first time she sees him genuinely smile at her. Not smirk, not laugh, smile. It's an apologetic smile but for once, it's not the smile of someone hiding a knife behind his back.

This time, she reopens her mouth to ask him what he wants at this late hour, but he is quicker.

"Are you okay love?" he asks with a concerned look on his face.

Not what she expected. She had steeled herself for a 'what did you do to him? He is crushed, you destroyed him again.'. She was certainly not prepared for him to be worried about her.

Her surprise must have been obvious on her face because he chuckled.

"Honestly? I don't know..." she answers. She didn't know what to say to Portia because she didn't know Haymitch and she couldn't help her. But if someone could enlighten her on what was going wrong, it was Chaff.

"Listen…" he sighs coming closer to her behind the counter. "Don't take it personally. It's… it's not a good period for him..."

"What happened?" she asks with tears of exhaustion coming to her eyes. "Everything was fine until… Plutarch's visit..."

He sighs and goes to sit at one of the tables, inviting her to do the same. She cannot help her education to strike at this moment.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asks him and he shots an amused but quite puzzled look as he shakes his head no. So she comes to sit in front of him. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts and choose his words before talking again.

"I guess you know about the fire that took his house."

She nods.

"Yes, he mentioned he had lost his mother and brother in a fire, but nothing else." she precises.

"Well… It happened on Christmas Eve. He was coming back from the city for the holiday, and he came back to find the house on fire and the firemen blocking the way. I was one of them. I had to hold him to prevent him from running in the fire. They… they were still inside, trapped… Alive… We could hear them scream..." he stopped there, his eyes lost somewhere far through the window. He shook his head after a beat and took a deep breath. "The investigation concluded that the cause was a defective light string in the Christmas tree. It only took ten minutes for the living room to turn into a blaze… There was nothing we could do."

She couldn't say anything, only let the tears rolling down her cheeks. It's the saddest story she has ever heard and she cannot imagine how he feels. She understands his aversion for holiday decorations and Christmas now. But she is also angry, because he didn't tell her. He trusts her less than Chaff does, and Chaff is known for hating her badly.

She doesn't understand why he refuses to talk to her. All the things she learned about him she had to pull them out at an opportune moment or she heard it from other people. It shouldn't be like that, she shouldn't have to fight all the time, he should be able to come to her willingly.

Chaff leaves her a few minutes to process the information before talking again.

"Listen hum… I know it's hard, he's not the most pleasant person right now but… Don't let him win. He pushes everything that's good for him away… Keep being there, annoy him, even if he says he doesn't want you to. It's the best thing you can do. Don't leave him alone. He hates it even more when people are… sorry for him."

"That's why he didn't told me?" she asks. Because he didn't want her to change her behavior toward him?

"Maybe… You must have been the only one in town who didn't know." he winces. "He can be a stupid man…"

She nods with a chuckle.

She can at least try. She know what he means, he needs to be pushed, not cuddled.

"Why…." it's not easy to formulate diplomatically. "Why do you… take my side? How do you know?" she asks him with a shaky voice.

"I don't take your side, I take his. Always. Hopefully you're on the same side..." she nods. Of course she is on his side. "And … people talk, if you really wanna know. Hazelle was furious at him. Even Snow told me he had succeeded to make you run away when he came for gas the other day." he laughs good-heartedly. "And this morning, Portia came to see Cinna and to talk to me. She's a real bulldog when you are concerned…"

Oh the humiliation… The whole town knows about her 'couple' fights… The perks of small towns…

But the picture of Portia biting Chaff's head off about Haymitch makes her chuckle.

"Did he talk to you?" That would be a good sign at least. If he has to talk about his regrets to someone it would be to Chaff.

Chaff takes a second to think his answer. That's no good sign…

"He doesn't really talk to anyone. Me included." he sighs. "I tried, but, I quote, it's none of my fucking business so…. Here I am." he says waving his hands in the air.

She can't help laughing a little. She understands why Haymitch likes him so much, she begins to see the good man in him. He would do anything to help Haymitch, even things he would hate him for.

"Okay, I… I'll try. I'll find something to cheer him up." she assures him, giving him the best smile she can, even if she knows her eyes don't follow.

He pats her shoulder and stands to leave.

"Chaff?" He stops to look at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, love." he smiles and closes the door behind him.

xxx

The next morning, she walks to the diner. Determined to talk to Haymitch and to make him talk. At least to know if he cares about her or if it was only a fling. The silver key on her key ring seems to say otherwise but who knows… maybe another dozen women in town got a key to his bedroom…

Just as she passes in front of the grocery store, Mrs Latier, Katniss's teacher, gets out and greets her.

"Hello, Wiress! How are you?" she asks politely, despite not being in the mood for small talk.

"Not too bad, not too bad. But we have a problem at school." she winces, torturing her fingers with the stretched handles of her plastic bags.

"What is it?" Nothing with Katniss she hopes. Not that it would be her problem but…

"We have this art project with the children to make Christmas decorations and Plutarch wants us to expose in town. But no merchant wants to host our exhibition. They all say they already have their own project and they don't want it to be ruined by 'children's doodles'…"

Effie stops her with a hand in front of her.

"Wiress, can I call you later? I think I know how to help you!" but for that, she needs to go right now. It's gonna take a while and a lot of groveling… She doesn't wait for the answer and runs to the diner with a wave of the hand in Wiress direction.

She enters and he is behind his counter, scribbling things on a piece of paper. He seems to be in a good-enough mood for now.

She sits at the counter, across from him and waits for him to talk first. Caution…

He lifts his eyes to look at her and flashes her a short, sheepish smile.

"Hello princess."

"Hello Haymitch." she remains as neutral as possible. She doesn't want to spook him by being too cheerful. Not that she is cheerful, if anything she is at the verge of tears.

"Hum, you're okay?"

"I am fine, thank you."

He sighs. Not liking this cold dialogue more than she does.

"Do you want to come upstairs? I think we should talk…"

"Yes, we should. But the diner..."

"There's no crowd. They won't steal anything." he shrugs walking toward the stairs.

She follows him, a lump in her throat and with the impression to have a stomach made of lead. She has never experienced that kind of fear. She had never been in a 'we should talk' situation before. With any of her boyfriends. Her relationships had been either too short to get to that or they had ended with much more theatrics.

They stop in the living room and he turns to face her. She leans against a table and crosses her arms in front of her. A defensive posture to hide her uneasiness and her terror. And incidentally her trembling hands.

His face is closed, serious and sad.

This time this is it…

Chaff was wrong.

"You've been a stranger..." he states flatly.

Well… three days isn't an eternity. But she hasn't seen the girls for at least a week. Surely that is what he means. He can't mean the fact that they haven't seen each other for a week, he cannot be that rude…

"Yes, I know I am sorry. I should have asked Hazelle to bring the girls at the shop."

"What?... The girls…?" he stammers, frowning, looking really puzzled.

"Well, they never asked for me to 'leave them alone and to mind my own freaking stupid business'. You did, they shouldn't be the one to bear the consequences." she is pushing him, she knows, using the girls is low but she aims to hurt. To make him realize. To make him talk.

"Fuck..." He closes his eyes and rubs his face. "I… I didn't mean… You know you shouldn't listen…."

"No, I don't, no." She didn't know at the moment. Now she does. But certainly not thanks to him.

"Come on, you know I would never say that to you. You know I..."

"No, Haymitch, I didn't know. I don't know." she cuts him. He has to face his actions. "I didn't know you hated Christmas, I didn't know your family died on Christmas, I didn't know I shouldn't listen to your insults, I didn't know I should have been careful with you, I didn't know you regretted. Now I do, because Plutarch told me, Hazelle told me, Chaff told me." And now she can't stop, everything has to get out. "And I have no idea of what I mean to you! Because you never talk to me! And I can't bear it anymore!"

She is panting at the end of her rant. And he is watching her with his face twisted by rage and sadness, his fist clenched so tight his knuckles are white.

She retreats slightly, wary to see him that upset, and her back hits the wall. She only notices now the tears rolling on her cheeks. She is frightened. Maybe she has gone too far. She doesn't know him that much after all and, at this instant, she is almost sure he is going to hit her.

He pounces on her and she closes her eyes, preparing herself for the blow.

But he doesn't hit her.

He kisses her.

Hard.

The kiss tastes of her tears and also his. She can feels them rolling on her cheeks, mingling with her owns.

He holds her face in one hand and clutches her waist with the other. Holding her to him like a drowning man to his buoy. It kinda hurts but in a good way. He never stops kissing her. It's deep and violent, like they never have been.

She can feel him against her lower belly but he doesn't act on that. His grip on her is desperate, like if was trying to make her understand something he couldn't say. It almost hurts.

"That's what you mean to me. Fuck I can't loose you… I can't…" he pants, tears in his voice and his hand shaking against her cheek. "I… I'm sorry..."

She knows he is honest. She can feel it. She has never seen him so vulnerable. And he has never said anything so meaningful before, as clumsy as it was.

So she kisses him again.

And again.

Until she ends up pinned against the wall with her legs around his hips. Hell, she had missed him.

She holds his head between her breast as she fumbles with his belt. He slaps her hand away and holds it on the wall above her head. He doesn't say anything but look intensely in her eyes while popping the button of her jeans open. Then he lowers his head to nip and lick at the skin under her ear and at her earlobe as he slips his hand in her panties and touches her. She gasps at the contact of his hot skin with her labia. She can feel herself getting wet as he drags his finger along her core and presses his palm on her clit.

She looses all restraint when he begins fucking her with his fingers. He doesn't have much room so his fingers curl inside more than they move and his palm rubs her clit at every movement. She screams her pleasure as he whispers things in her ear.

"Fuck… I want you all the time… You're a fucking drug…"

She can't hold it much longer, and she comes hard on his hand. He takes it out and she licks his fingers clean. He growls and kisses her possessively.

"Mine..."

She kisses him harder to distract him and open his jeans. She strokes him a few times before turning around with a grin and putting her hands on the wall, exposing her behind at him to dispose as he wishes.

He comes behind her to kiss her neck and fondle her breast.

"You're so perfect. So fucking perfect…" he says repeatedly, pushing down her jeans and soaked panties to her knees. She wriggles her ass and pushes it a little to give him easier access.

She feels his eyes on her and hears him jerking off right behind her. He touches her ass, slaps her lightly, which makes her moan.

Then he puts a hand at the small of her back and pushes his cock inside in one powerful thrust.

"And you're mine…" he adds, with a both unconvinced and amazed tone.

And then he begins thrusting hard and fast. At a punishing but pleasurable pace.

"Yes. Yes..." she answers, holding his hand on her breast and turning her head to kiss him.

It's quick and not really comfortable but she comes again. Screaming in the wall. She is certain that all the customers left in the diner heard her but she doesn't care. Not when she feels him pulsing inside her with his own release.

He turns her in his arms and holds her as they fall on the floor. Spent and panting. She must be a sight, with her jeans half taken off, her lace panties torn apart, her blouse open with her breast out of the cups and her hair in disarray. She turns to look at him. He isn't faring much better, with his wet shirt, his pants at his ankles and his mouth red with her lipstick.

"I'm sorry princess. Really. I shouldn't have insulted you… I… I…"

"It's okay Haymitch. It's okay. I just don't want you to keep things to yourself. I'm here for you. You know that." she reassures him, putting her head on his lap.

"Yeah…" he mutters, petting her hair with one hand and caressing her naked hip with the other. He is looking at her with awe, touching her with worship.

She chuckles lightly.

"What? You're mocking me?"

"No." she laughs. "I was just thinking. It was our first fight and we settled it with sex. What does it say about us?" He laughs to but his eyes remain serious.

"What did I do to deserve someone like you..." he asks to himself. She doesn't answer but she kisses the only part of him she can reach from her position, his naked thigh and it makes him twitch right before her eyes. It makes them laugh again.

"Already here for a second round?" she teases.

"I'm not that young." he sighs with faked despair. "Come on, I'll make you coffee."

He outstretches a hand at her and helps her getting decent again. After a quick detour in the bathroom, she joins him downstairs.

He is still in the kitchen and hands her her cup of black coffee.

They come back in the diner and the few people left seem to avoid looking at them. The walls aren't thick then… She sits at the counter to hide her embarrassment.

At least now, it's really official.

"So… There is something I need to talk to you about." she asks warily. Even if they're better now, it's still a tricky topic to discuss.

"Shoot." he frowns.

"Well, I don't know if Katniss told you but, the kids have this winter themed art project at school..."

"Yes she mentioned it."

"… and they need a place to expose their creations." she stops to see if he reacts but he waits for her to continue. "So, I had a thought..."

"You don't say?!" she rolls her eyes at being cut like that but she is happy to have the banter back. She had missed it.

"Maybe you could host the exhibition in the diner, it would save Wiress and save you from Plutarch's contest. It would only be children's drawing but at least the diner would be considered decorated..." she can't sell it better than that.

He processes her proposition for a minute, and she lets him. She doesn't want him to feel forced, she wants it to come from him. It has to be his own decision.

"Yeah... Yeah ok, why not. If it can take Plutarch off my back…" he grumbles.

"Thank you! And I'm sure it will please the children!" she jumps from her stool to kiss his cheek enthusiastically. "I have to go, see you tonight?"

"Yes. You wanna come here?"

"I'd love to!" she grins before sauntering out the diner.

xxx

Three days later, it's Friday afternoon, the diner is closed, and Effie, Wiress and the children are embellishing the room with their creations.

There are paper snowflakes, papier-maché garlands and ornaments, drawings of candles, reindeer, Santa, and socks, and vegetal wreaths. She had made sure that there would be nothing 'dangerous'.

They had hanged some garlands, ornaments and wreaths on the doors and the counter, and now she is helping Wiress to hang the curtains of snowflakes at the top of the windows while the children stick the drawings and the snowflakes to the glass.

That's the moment Haymitch chose to come back from his errands. He enters by the back door and freezes when he comes in the room. He doesn't say anything, takes a deep breath and throw her a dark look before storming upstairs.

They all finish their work like if nothing had happened and after taking a few pictures and adding a sign to present the project and the artists, the children leave with their teacher, all except Katniss who stays there alone with Effie.

"We have to show this to Prim!" the girl screams enthusiastically as soon as the door is closed. She takes Effie's hand and drags her upstairs to go get her sister.

She almost falls a couple of times running in the stairs following Katniss. Once inside the apartment, she lets go of her hand to run to her sisters bedroom, and leaves Effie to face a very much sulking Haymitch.

"Haymitch..."

"You said winter themed, not Christmas themed..." he grumbles, not lifting his eyes from his book.

"And what else is there to do in winter?" she laughs. He is almost cute, pouting like a child. "Come on, don't sulk…" she teases him, wrapping her arms around him from behind and nuzzling the side of his neck.

"I'm not sulking. You lied to me." he responds but doesn't shove her away.

"I held a tiny part of the truth… But look how happy Katniss is, how Prim will be. It won't hurt anybody, it's just paper." she stops mocking him and takes a kinder reassuring tone. She kisses the side of his neck and rubs his tensed shoulders. He sighs and turns his head to look at the two girls running down the stairs.

"Come on Haymitch! You have to see that!" Katniss exclaims, taking his hand and pulling on his arm to drag him out of the armchair. He resists for a while, amused by the sight of her little face reddening with the effort. Effie slaps his shoulder with a look and he stops.

They all get down to admire the result.

Haymitch takes Prim in his arms, as if to protect her until he's sure it's safe while Effie and Katniss stand proudly in the middle of the room, arms crossed, waiting for the verdict.

Haymitch inspect every garland, every ornament with the little girl squirming and protesting in his arms. When he's done with his inspection and declares it safe, he puts her down and comes back to Effie. Katniss bolts toward her sister to show her everything and explain who made what and how.

Effie lifts an eyebrow at him, her arms still crossed, waiting to hears his opinion and his apologies. He rolls his eyes and puts an arm around her shoulders.

"Alright… You were right, it's nice… Happy?"

"Perfectly!" she answers petulantly and he leans to kiss her tenderly.

"Uuuugh! Gross…" Katniss complains, hiding Prim's eyes.

They laugh and go back upstairs, leaving the girls to their stories, to make some hot chocolate and snacks.

He takes her in his arms from behind as she's stirring the chocolate in the pot.

"I'm sorry. You were right, they're happy. And it's harmless..." she turns the stove off and turns in his arms.

"See, Christmas isn't bad." she plants a quick kiss on his lips. "How old were you?" she asks softly.

"Eighteen."

"And did anything happen before that?" he shakes his head. "And did anything happen since?" No, again. "So you see, Christmas isn't synonym of impending doom… If you have to sue someone, sue the company that made the ornament, not Santa. And don't condemn yourself…" she rubs his arms soothingly.

He chuckles at her joke but takes his time to consider her words. He nods slightly.

"I won't ever be all merry and all that shit, but…"

"I'm not asking you to forget. I don't want to replace your family, never! I just want you to be happy, to realize that they would want you to be happy, not to punish yourself all your life...It wasn't your fault…" she clarifies before he could misinterpret her intentions.

He tenses a little at the mention of his family, but he doesn't argue. He simply kisses her deeply before calling the girls.

That night in his bed, a question comes to Effie's mind.

"Did you have Christmas traditions? Something you would like to do with the girls?"

He sighs and thinks, tightening his hold on her waist. After a minute, she believes he's not going to answer, but he does.

"Apart from the usual stuff - the sock, the cookies and everything-, my mother had us burn a big log in the fireplace at midnight. The biggest one we could find in the woods. And all the while it burnt, she told us a story. Like a tale, a legend… I don't know how she managed to find a new one every year…" he said thoughtfully. "And she would offer us a bag of tangerines and chocolates candies a few days before Christmas to make us wait. We weren't rich so it was our only occasion…".

Effie turns to kiss his chest. "These are beautiful traditions." she says caressing his chest.

"Hmm… Did you have any?" She shakes her head no. They didn't have traditions, except the yearly Christmas argument between her parents around the turkey… Or maybe the hassle of each children playing a piece with their instrument in front of the whole family, if it can be considered a tradition… God she hated that!

She turns again to show her back at him and he spoons her tight.

She can't help a bitter little laugh to escape her lips when she thinks about how different their perception of Christmas are.

"I can't remember one 'merry' Christmas in my life, they all have been complete disasters. It was never about family, love or anything. Only one more worldliness. And yet… I still love Christmas. When you…" she stops because she feels his fingers twitch against her skin. "Ironic isn't it…"

He doesn't talk for a while, she even wonders if he's asleep. But his breath against her neck is irregular.

"You still have hope. I don't…" he whispers in her hair, burying his face in her nape.

She turns in his arms to face him and plant a tender kiss on his nose.

"Good thing I have some to spare then…" she says, burrowing her face under his chin, melting in the warmth of his chest.

He sighs fondly and holds her close.

It's an encouraging enough for her to fall in a deep relaxed slumber.

xxx

A week later, they are cuddling sleepily in Effie's bed when Haymitch's phone rings. He grumbles but doesn't move.

"Take it." she moans in his skin.

"Hmpf..."

"Could be the girls..."

He sighs but does turn to get it on the floor. Time for him to find it, it was too late the call had ended. But it rings again not three seconds later.

"Hello?"

Effie sees him tense immediately at the answer and she overhears a shrill voice speaking hastily.

"Okay I'm coming, I'm coming sweetheart, calm down." he says, jumping on his feet and taking his clothes on the floor.

"What's going on?" she asks, standing too.

"It was Katniss… Sae fell in the house, she's unconscious..." He is shaking so much he struggles to close his pants. She goes to help him, and takes her own clothes.

"I'm coming with you."

He simply nods. She has never seen him so afraid.

They jump in her car and she drives to the Village, well above the speed limit. She parks anyhow in front of the house, and they bolt out of the car.

She puts her hand on the fence and turns to see him frozen behind her.

"Come on Haymitch… I can't do it alone..."

He is at the edge of hyperventilating, his hands are shaking and his jaw is clenched. She puts a hand on his arms, and helps him to calm his breathing.

"Sae and the girls needs you, Haymitch…"

He closes his eyes for a second, takes a deep breath, shoves her aside and runs to the door.

When she enters a few seconds after him, she hears the girls crying and Haymitch calming them. She follows the noise and enters in a big living room. The carpet is creased, there is a mug broken on the floor with the coffee spilled on the floor, and Sae lying on the floor next to the coffee table. She must have hit her head because there is blood in her grey hair and on the carpet.

She gasps at the sight and Katniss turns to look at her. Her face is wet with tears and she clutches Prim against her chest.

"She's still breathing." he breathes, relieved but not free of concern.

"Do you want me to call 911?"

He shakes his head. "Katniss already did, they're on their way. Get me a wet cloth. And take the girls away."

She nods and takes Katniss's hand to guide her in another room. She crosses the hallway and enter in what happens to be the kitchen. She finds a clean cloth in a cupboard, put it under the tap and brings it to Haymitch. He holds it under Sae's head to stop the bleeding of her injury. His eyes are shiny and he barely manages to croak a 'Thanks'.

She goes back to the girls in the kitchen, they need her more than he does. She takes a wailing Prim in her arms and rocks her close to her chest. Katniss is silent, she keeps her eye on the table and silent tears roll on her cheeks.

"Is she going to die?" she whispers after a while.

"No! No of course not darling!" she squeezes her trembling hand on the table. "You did the best you could do. She's going to be fine."

Katniss sniffs loudly.

"It's my fault… I asked her to go get the cake. I had moved the armchair and creased the carpet…and she tripped…" she says in a little teary voice, her lips wobbling again.

She's so much like Haymitch, always taking the blame for things she cannot control… She thinks she has to bear the weight of the world on her small shoulders.

"Katniss, it's not your fault, you couldn't have known. You didn't do it on purpose. It was only bad luck, that's all."

They're stopped in their conversation by sirens coming closer.

The doctor that examines Sae reassures them that it's not too bad, but they take her to the hospital to run some tests.

Haymitch goes with her in the ambulance and Effie stays behind with the girls. They need to gather their things before she can take them back at Haymitch's place.

They wait for hours in Haymitch's living room. After making them a quick lunch, she tells the girls to go in their room, that she will call the hospital and tell them if there is something to know.

Once alone, she thinks about the house. She might have told Katniss it wasn't her fault -and it truly wasn't – but she couldn't help noticing the furniture weren't in prime shape. If it had not happened now, it would have eventually. The carpets were frayed and slippery on the wooden floor, the chairs were creaking, the kitchen appliances were old -certainly old cheap things that the town had put there after the reconstruction. It was old, dangerous, and not adapted for an old lady living there alone.

She can't really blame Haymitch but maybe if he had seen the state of the house he would have done something.

Otherwise, it had everything to be a beautiful house. The volumes were perfectly studied, the porch was charming, there were enough bedrooms and bathroom for a big family, there even was a study with a view on the garden and the woods. She understood immediately why he had bought it, it was the picture of the family house. He must have imagined living there with his mother and his girl, maybe even adding some children to the scenery, at the time.

She could even imagine him and the girls living there happily now.

Adding herself in the picture was a fantasy but she did, for a second.

She finally gathers all her courage and calls the hospital. They don't have much more to say than what she already knows. A concussion - they're running tests to know more about it - and also a dislocated hip. They can't say if she's going to be alright before the results of the tests.

She thinks about calling Haymitch too, but she doesn't want to disturb him in case he's talking with the doctors. Instead she goes to tell Katniss the news, and reads a story to Prim until she falls asleep. She falls asleep in the couch herself around four in the afternoon.

She wakes up when Haymitch comes back. He seems quite calm so the news must not be too bad.

"So? How is she?" she asks, hauling herself in a sitting position.

He comes to sit beside her, taking his head in his hands.

"She's awake. They didn't see anything bad on the tests so, after her hip surgery she should be good to go..." he says with a sad face and a gloomy tone. She can feel that it's not all…

"But?"

"But they don't think she should stay alone in a big house like that. She won't be able to walk as well… They showed me some leaflets about medicalized residences and stuff like that… She would have her own house, furnished and adapted and she would have doctors and nurses close…"

"She's okay, that's the most important." she comforts him. She imagines how hard it must be for him to see Sae age, how afraid he must have been to find her dead this morning. She's like his second mother…

"Yeah… Thank you for today." he says, taking her hand and holding tight. She presses a kiss on his temple.

"You're welcome." She stand up and takes her coat.

"You're leaving?" he frowns, standing up to approach her.

"I have commands for tomorrow. I'll have to work tonight. You should sleep, you need it." It's true, he is pale, his eyes red and circled by puffy dark circles. "I put some leftovers in the fridge."

He nods and takes her in his arms to kiss her one last time. "Thanks."

She leaves the diner, relieved to feel the slap of the cold air of winter nights on her face. She uses the walk to the shop to think about that day and how intense her life has become since she moved here. Not really the boring country life she had been seeking…

xxx

She comes back the next night, after he closed the diner. He has been to see Sae in the afternoon and she wants to know how it went. The girls are asleep and he is sprawled in his couch.

The news are as good as they can be given the circumstances.

"She's going in surgery next week and she'll have to stay there for at least a month. Time for the prosthetic to be accepted and the re-education to begin..."

"That's good Haymitch, this is the best scenario." she says, handing him a mug of black tea.

"Yeah, yeah I know… I just don't like the idea of putting her in a nursing home…" he grumbles in his mug.

"It's not like that. They have their own independence, it's just secured and arranged for elder people. It's like Florida but cheaper." he scoffs at her joke, that's already progress, but keeps his eyes on the floor. "What are you going to do with the house?" she asks warily. It's not an easy subject and she knows he's still shaken from getting inside for the first time in eighteen years.

"Don't know… Didn't even think about that yet..." he frowns.

"You… Maybe you could use it?" he tenses but doesn't scream yet. "It would be a shame to let it down to decay..."

"And what? Why are you so eager to get Sae out of the way huh?" he snarls, raising his voice a little too much considering the girls sleeping upstairs.

"Wha… what?!" she stammers. What the hell is going wrong with him?

"You want it for yourself, that's it? Living in town's not posh enough? You want to upgrade to the fashionable districts?"

She is too flabbergasted to cut him in or to defend herself. She lost her voice, blocked by the lump forming in her throat. She just stay there, eyes wide open and shoulders hunched, taking the blows.

"That's unfair..." is the only think she manages to croak but it's barely a whisper and she doubts he heard it. Not that he would care. He's gone, lost to his storming rage.

"You begin to miss the good life? Your gold digger side reemerges? Well sorry Princess if we're not good enough for you, but you won't get the dog and the white fences with me." he snarls the moniker like the worst of the insults again. "If that's what it's all about then you can go fuck yourself and never come back. I don't need an opportunistbitchnear my girls."

It's the vulgarity and the insults that make her come back to her senses. Bitter tears are rolling down her face but at least she finds her voice back.

"Is that really what you think of me? After everything I said and did? That's…" she doesn't have to justify herself, she doesn't even want to, he doesn't deserve it. But she wants him to know what she truly meant anyway, to realize how stupid he is, how much he overreacts to everything, how he twists peoples words to match and justify his own fears. "I was only thinking of you. I didn't wanted you to loose the last thing you had left of your family, I did not want it to die too. For you!"

She takes a deep breath to collect herself before leaving the apartment.

"And I was… Stupidly maybe, I was thinking of us. But clearly I was mistaken, there is no 'us'. Never has been any..." saying that, she takes her coat and marches to the door, not giving him time to answer.

Just as she passes it, she throws the silver key on the dresser right next to it.

xxx

Two days later, she is still mulling his words over. How could she have been so stupid as to think he might… have feelings for her? That she might have a chance to happiness? To a family?…

He never wanted anything more than a convenient woman -well, a bitch - in his bed after all. Like all men. She should have known. She had sworn herself she wouldn't be blind and naive again…

She's lost in her thought, scribbling some Santa shaped cookie -which rather looks half Santa half Haymitch shaped demon-, on her recipes notebook, when the shop's door open on Hazelle, holding Prim bundled up in a thick blue puffy jacket.

Hazelle gives her a sad smile as Prim jumps from her arms to wrap herself around Effie's legs.

She crouches to take the little girl in her arms and take her jacket off before she combusts. Prim refuses to let her go and wraps herself even tighter around her neck when she tries to get back on her feet. She throws a questioning look to Hazelle.

"She's been asking for you. Well, wailing for you…" she winces, twisting her hands in hesitation. Effie already knows what she's going to ask her. "She said… she said you didn't love them anymore and you wouldn't come back…"

She can hears that Hazelle's concern isn't her lack of love for the girls, but rather the reason for Prim's words.

"We… fought... I think that everything has been said, this time."

She is saved from the toddler claws by the appearance of Lady somewhere in the kitchen. She waits for Prim to be out of earshot to sit with Hazelle at a table and continue her explanation.

"I admit that it's partly my fault if we fought, I brought up a sensitive subject. But words have been spoken and… He made it very clear he didn't want to have anything to see with… someone like me so…"

"Effie…" Hazelle sighs, tears in her eyes, as she puts a hand on Effie's arm to comfort her. "I'm sure that's not…"

"I shouldn't have hoped so much, it was stupid of me." she says with a wave of her hand. "I understand why you came, that's not a reproach, but… I'm not sure this is healthy for the girls to come back here. A clean cut might be better. Not like if I had visiting rights or anything…"

"If that's what you want, yes. Okay.It might be better." Hazelle nods, clearly to humor her. "But it will be hard don't you think? You're bound to meet them again, the town isn't that big…"

She hadn't thought about it to be honest. She might have thought about never living her apartment and her kitchen ever again though… But Hazelle's right, it won't be possible to avoid them for ever…

"You're right. I'll go to Coin to ask about selling the business. I can't keep living here much longer."

"What? No! That's not what I…"

"That's what's best for everybody." she cuts her, a little harshly but she's tired and annoyed. "You'll excuse me I have cupcakes in the oven." She stands and walk to the kitchen. She takes Prim in her arms and kisses her soundly on the cheek before giving her to Hazelle and disappearing in the kitchen to hide her tears.

She waits until Portia comes back from her lunch break to take hers, and uses it to go to the real estate agency. It's only to gather information for now, she'll talk to Portia about it later.

It's Coin who welcomes her when she enters the sad grey building. And the inside is just as sad and grey, with metallic tables and chairs, un-decorated painted walls and dirty white tiles on the floor. The absolute opposite of Snow's colorful and tinsel pawnshop. How did those two ever end up together? They were polar opposites…

"Ah, Miss Trinket! What can I do for you?" her voice and her tone are soft and honeyed but her piercing eyes and her smug smile convey her satisfaction at seeing Effie in her agency. She's patting her own shoulder saying to herself 'Told you so!'.

"I would like to… inquire about the real estate prices, at this point." being here now feels weird. She feels like she might have been too hasty. But now it's too late. In for a penny…

"Leaving us so soon?" Coin asks, without sounding as judgmental as her right eyebrow look, up to her white hairline, sitting at her desk and showing her the chair on the other side.

"Well… I don't know, I just want information for now. Maybe selling isn't the only option…"

"No indeed, it isn't" she hums, tapping something on her computer before tuning the monitor toward Effie. "As you can see, selling isn't the best idea right now. I'd advise you to wait at least three month too see how the prices go."

The tables and graphs on the screen aren't very clear, but they are very much red and Effie can still understand that selling would be at a big loss for her. And for Portia. Losing her money because of her own problems is one thing, making Portia drown with her is another.

"What are the other options then?"

She turns back her monitor to her and search for something before answering.

"Well, you can rent. You would loose the business part but you could still save on the living one, by renting it to a particular. Even earn some money out of it at some point. Not any time soon, though." she opens another page with some more graphics and dynamic numbers. "Or, and it's currently your best option to me, you could sell directly your part to someone else, someone who would be ready to live and work in there, like you're doing now. You wouldn't win money but you wouldn't lose as much as by selling it on the market."

"Ok, good… I'll think about it then." Effie says with a polite smile. She won't admit being intimidated by this strict grey woman, even if that's slightly true.

However, she might have an idea for this last option, and she needs to talk about it to Portia first.

"You're not... in any hurry, I hope?" Coin asks, with a real frown on her face this time. Of course… that's what people are going to think…

Coin might not might not like her much, but she clearly isn't the kind of woman to tolerate domestic abuse or anything like that.

"Oh no! No, no! I was just inquiring that's all." she hurries to reassure her. She doesn't mind the rumor of her leaving spreading in town but she doesn't want gossips to morph into something so vile. Coin doesn't seem convinced but doesn't comment any further. Makeup can't hide everything unfortunately and her eyes must have given her distress away. "Thank you for your time!"

She stands up and outstretched a hand. Coin shakes it strongly, holding it a little longer than property asks for.

"You're welcome. I'm here if you need anything Miss Trinket." she reminds her with an insistent look.

Once out of the agency, she hesitates between going to Portia right now and going to visit Sae in the hospital. In the end, she chooses the latter. It's still lunch time and she can see that the diner's lights are on. It's the best moment if she want to avoid meeting him there.

She enters her hospital room hesitantly, not certain that the old woman would like to see her. But the very moment Sae spots her in the door frame, her face lit with a smile and she beckons her to come sit in the visitor's armchair.

"Oh, my dear. I'm so happy to see you!" she exclaims, taking her hand in hers and squeezing it tight. She seems relieved to see her. Haymitch must have talked to her. Maybe she had been hoping a visit to talk about it.

"How are you Sae? How are you feeling?"

"Oh much better!" she waves negligently to the bandage on her head. "That's nothing! Just a bruise!" then to her leg, "and that soon will be just as good as new! Don't worry about me, I have thick skin!" she winks at her and Effie cannot help smiling at her. She is extraordinarily strong for her age.

But she can easily see that she knows about the fight. What does she know now is another problem…

Her silence gives her away because Sae's look goes from fond to worried.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better. You gave us such a fright!" she manages to bring a bright smile on her face, summoning all the remnants of her good education, but Sae doesn't look at her smile. She looks at her eyes. And they aren't on the same wave length…

"Don't worry about me dear, I'm an old cow. Don't tell me that's me who puts you in such a state…" she tells her, squeezing her hand again.

Effie can't resist her kind gaze, she looks at her like a parent would. She understands why she's the grand mother of the town. It dives right into her soul.

And she can't resist it.

"No…" she laughs nervously. "I… I think… I'm going to leave town. This time we pulled the last straw I fear…" tears are pooling in her eyes.

"Effie…. You cannot do that. I'm sure there must be a way. It was just one fight…"

"One fight is all it takes." she cuts jumping on her feet to go stand at the window. She doesn't want to show her tears. "He's been very clear anyway. He knows how to use his words…"

"He didn't mean any of it I'm sure. He cares about you. More than you can imagine… I never saw him like that…"

"Yeah well… I had never seen him like that either…" she mutters to herself. "Listen Sae… He crossed a line…" she turns toward her again. "I know what you're going to tell me, that he's afraid, that he pushes people away, that I should resist to prove him wrong but… I'm not sure I want to buy this anymore. It might be true but he crossed a line this time. It was too much… Too much anger, too much hate. For me, for himself…" she stops for a moment, and then adds in a lower wistful voice "I was the one afraid back there… I still am.".

She wouldn't have admitted that to anyone else. She wonders what is this aura around Sae that compels people to trust and confide to her like that. That's truly a super power.

"He would never hurt you like that my dove. He would never hurt someone he loves by his own hand. Never." the old woman outstretches her arm to take her hand again and forces Effie to look at her. "He is so afraid to get crushed that he does it himself. At least like that he isn't taken aback… If you could just see him, you would know…"

"A bad time to talk about love, don't you think?…" Effie snorts. "He knew what to do, what to say. He did it all. Looking right into my eyes, head up and straight. He meant everything, at least he believed in everything… I'm sorry Sae, I can't let that go so easily… I have been comprehensive a thousand times already. But I can't keep taking all the blows. This isn't a one way road."

She takes the old woman's hand warmly before taking her coat and heading toward the door. She stops at the foot of the bed.

"I hope you'll get better very soon. I'll come back, if you want me to. I won't fly away overnight."

"I'd love to see you again dear." It doesn't quite mean the same thing in her mouth than what she did, but it's good enough for her. Effie puts a hand on her ankle with a smile and leaves the room. Her thoughts full of new things to occupy her insomnia.

xxx

Late that night, she decides to go to Portia. She deserves to know. She will be the first one impacted if she leaves the town and they must talk about it, as unpleasant a conversation it might be.

Portia invites her in and she falls in one of her bean bags, sprawled in the most unladylike manner. Portia doesn't need much more than that to understand she need white wine and chocolate. She brings a tray on the coffee table and sits facing Effie, waiting for the bad news.

"I think I am going to move." No need to beat around the bush…

"What?" she wasn't expecting that according to her wide brown eyes. She was certainly expecting boys talk not defeat talk.

"You don't necessarily need to come with me. I don't want you to leave Cinna for me. In fact I've thought about something..."

"Effie… Effie stop…" she tries to stop her. "What are you…"

"No please. Listen to me." if she stops now she'll let herself be convinced to wait and she doesn't want to. "I thought, that instead of selling everything, I could only sell my part of the investment. And my first thought was for Cinna. He could have his business with you, and we wouldn't lose too much money like that."

"Effie… You thought way too much about this…"

"That would be if you want, that is. If you prefer something else, if it's too soon…" she soldiers on, ignoring her friend and avoiding her eyes.

"Effie, is it really that bad?" her eyebrows are gathered in one thin preoccupied line.

She sighs. She won't get away with it. She knew it. Curiously, she has more and more difficulties to talk to Portia. Maybe because of the dichotomy between her 'love story' and Portia's. She wouldn't call it jealousy or envy but… Why is it so easy for her?

"He still sees me as a spoiled brat, a princess, a whore… That will never change. Despite all his pretty words and promises, it will always come back right into my face." she lets it all out. "He doesn't trust me. And… I can't say I really trust him either anymore. I wanted to but…"she stops, hesitating about what she's going to say. It may sound too strong but that how she felt and still feels somehow. "I was scared. I still am in a way… I've been the naive idiot again, I'd thought we had a shot. I had hoped I could have something, a family… But I was wrong. I was, once more, simply convenient. The convenient bitch. I am definitely not the girl you want to marry… or raise children with…" she snorts.

When she lift her eyes from her twirling glass, she find Portia's teary gaze on her, but it's darkened by something else. Anger? Disgust?

"I could kill him if you asked me to. You know that?" she breathes. Effie is tempted to believe her. After all the things she has done, it wouldn't be that surprising. She laughs bitterly.

"Can you consider my proposition? It won't happen right now but think about it. Please." she asks her one last time, gulps her glass and goes back to her room.

Now everybody knows. She'll have to brace herself for an either thunderous or supplicant visit from Chaff - but she won't cave this time, if someone needs to be talked to it's Haymitch not her -, and for murderous gaze from everybody in town.

xxx

Two days.

Two days are all it takes for the rumor to come to Haymitch's ears.

Two days later, late at night, as she is in the middle of her night routine, she is startled by a thunderous round of knocks on her door.

She jumps in fright, hesitates to go to open in her state, but still goes at least to take a look by the peephole.

She quickly opens the door after seeing Haymitch, completely wasted leaning heavily against her door.

He falls on her the moment the door is opened, reeking of whiskey and holding a half empty bottle of liquor, and begins crying -well, wailing -like a baby.

She tries to drag his heavy weight to her couch while he repeats over and over again the same slurred words. She catches a few, some 'I'm sorry.', 'Everything's my fault', and something about being a 'shit magnet.'

It's not easy because he is swaying on his unsteady legs but she finally throws him on the couch and runs to get him a basin when she sees him turn to green. Afterwards, she takes off his soiled shirt and pants with a heavy sigh and washes quickly his face with a wet towel before lying him on the cushions.

Now the only thing she can do is waiting for him to pass out. He is in no state to talk or to go back to his place. She texts Hazelle to make sure the girls are with her and goes to settle in the armchair with a blanket.

In his half slumber, he mutters incomprehensible things, but one is quite easily understandable and she catches it a few times during his drunk rant.

"I love you." or rather "Fuck, I love you." but she won't nitpick.

She gets tired of his ramblings, and after hearing this infamous lie five times or so, she stands to take another blanket to put on him, hoping it will help him to sleep.

"No Haymitch. You don't. You don't know how to do that." she whispers as she put the tartan on his shoulders.

Then she goes back in the armchair and spends half of her night watching him, making sure he isn't to drown in his own vomit in his sleep.

When she wakes up, he's still out. Dead to the world. He is pale as a dead but his breathing is regular and he seems calmer.

She leaves him painkillers, a bottle of water, a box of detox tea, and her secret banana-coconut water-muesli-honey hangover smoothie on the coffee table with a note before going down to work.

He only comes downstairs around five in the afternoon. He's white a sheet, still unsteady on his feet, and with his eyes bloodshot, but at least he took a shower and waits for her to shoot first.

She stays silent for a while, happy to watch him swaying uncomfortably on his feet, leaning against the wall, while she draws new cake designs.

"Was that an upgraded version of 'texting your ex'?"

He doesn't answer, only sighs loudly and shakily. Which is the best answer he could give actually.

"Hazelle called. She left the girls at your place an hour ago, she couldn't keep them." what means you shouldn't stay much longer, you have responsibilities waiting for you. Speak now or…

"Did you tell her…?"

"Oh yes!" she says coldly. "And Chaff too. When he called. As for your customers who came here I told them you were feeling unwell." she doesn't lift her eyes from her notebook all the time of this conversation, and so she doesn't see him move until he crouches on the floor next to her chair, one hand on the desk, the other on the foot of the chair, and bows his head until his hair is practically brushing her leg.

"You're right… I'm a fucking idiot…" he whispers, his voice shaking.

"I'm always right." She replies still not looking at him, more petulantly than she truly means. It makes him chuckle.

"Yeah… It appears so…" he breathes, so low she doesn't think its directed at her. "Sweetheart… we should talk about…"

No. There is no 'we should talk', he should apologize and grovel. She didn't do anything wrong. But if he wants her to speak, speak she will. And he won't regret it.

"You're sending mixed signals Haymitch. One day you give me a key to your place and the next you treat me merely like a friend. One day you entrust me with the girls, the other I have nothing to say about the way you raise them." her voice is beginning to waver so she stops to take a deep breath but keep a hand up to tell him to shut up. "Everytime I try to… speak about serious subjects… You could just avoid it, but no… Everytime I try to be someone to you, for you… you just rip me apart and kick the pieces away…"

She doesn't even have the strength to be mad, to scream anymore. She's just defeated. Flat and tired. And he isn't faring much better, she can feel tears falling on her lap and sees his back rise up and down with his ragged breathing.

"And I wasn't even thinking a single bit of what you accused me of. Your mind is so… wickedly twisted. I was only thinking of you, of how you were doing, managing the whole thing, and I just wanted to offer my help. But obviously you don't want my help. You don't want me." she stops and snorts, thinking about their last argument. "Well no. You do want me. But you do not want us." Those words sting. So bad. Like knitting needles inside her heart. And inside his too she hopes. "It's certainly my fault for assuming. I'm an easy believer…"

She pauses for a few seconds. Waiting for something. What she doesn't know. She doesn't know if she wants him to cry, apologize, scream, leave….

"You uses who I was, who I am, to hurt me. You don't accept me."

This time he hurriedly turns her chair towards him, spreads her red pants clad legs, drags his hands to her waist and holds her tight, burying his face in her stomach. He nuzzles her blouse for a while, searching for her skin behind the fabric, but he's stopped by her tank top. She feels the fabric getting wet with his tears and her waist getting bruised by the strength of his grip.

Her hands are hovering in the air, above him or her desk. She is torn between petting his hair to calm him and slap him.

"That's because it fucking scares me." he finally mutters, his words muffled in her belly. "It fucking scares me that one day you'll grow bored of us and go back to it again."

"I think I said that enough times…" he dips his fingers even deeper in her skin, desperately. So she stops and lets him continue.

"I'm fucking afraid… It scares the shit out of me how much I like waking up with you in my bed, with your warmth in my arms, your smell on my pillow, you hair in my mouth. How much I like having you nagging and bossing me around. How you make Katniss roll her eyes with your rebuking about language, how Prim tries to dress and talk like you…"

He takes a break to find his words and she swallows back the tears pooling in her eyes. How can he say such beautiful things while being so infuriatingly vulgar?

"But what scared me to death yesterday… it was not smelling your perfume on my pillow, feeling the sheets cold on your side of the bed, not having to revive my dead arm after you got out of bed… And… not knowing if it would ever happen again…"

"What am I to you Haymitch?… I don't need a label or anything but… It would be nice to know what I mean to you…" she isn't asking for love declarations now. But they never even talked about a name for what they were doing. She could as well be her partner as her friend with benefit slash convenient babysitter.

He chuckles and shakes his head against her stomach, nuzzling and tickling her a little.

"The fuck if I know… You… You're bigger than anything I ever had. I don't know what to do with you but… I don't know how to be without you anymore. Fuck, sweetheart I… I …"

"Must you be so vulgar?…" she asks in a shaky breath. They both laugh a little. Happy to be back on known ground.

"Don't go, don't leave me… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I strike to kill when I'm scared. I'm so sorry. Don't… don't sell, don't leave. Don't leave me. Us. I… I…"

"You appreciate me, I got it." she laughs to dismiss the visible tension in his shoulders. She doesn't linger on his incapacity to use the word that would logically come after that 'I'. She try no to think about what it means for now. She had never hoped for such an apology, or for more, so she tries to be content with that.

"I'm a selfish old mule… I can't lose you. I can't… I couldn't bear it." he seems a little calmer now, but he is still hiding his face in her blouse, pressing her body against him with his hands on her back. "Not now that I know…"

"Now that you know what?" She asks, biting her lip to hold the smile threatening to spread on her lips.She's pushing him. He would never have talked that much without the 'help' of the hangover and the painkillers… So she decides to use that on her favor to tease him a little.

"What it's like to… To… To have…" he finally lifts his head up to look at her face after she let out a small giggle. She couldn't help finding him cute in his struggle. "You're laughing at me…" he doesn't laugh, he frowns and looks rejected.

"I would never dare." she teases, trying to keep her smile under control and holding his head up in her hands. "Haymitch… You hurt me." he tries to retreat but she keeps him there. "It wasn't only you pushing me away. It was you not trusting me, not knowing me, not wanting me in your life…"

"I told you, I didn't mean anything of it. I was scared, I got mad… I don't know what happened to me." he sighs. "I regretted it instantly, the moment you threw the key, I lost it and broke almost every plate and glass in the house. I hated myself for it… For driving you, like every good thing I get, away…" he is stroking her back like she's stroking his nape with her nails, in a gesture she knows soothing for him. "Katniss heard us… she hates me now. And Prim too since she came here. She said I made you sad, and only bad people made good people sad…" he bows his head again, to plant a kiss between her breast. She shivers at the sensation of the kiss and of his face wet with tears. "I know I'm not good person. But… I swear… if you give me one last chance… I'll never make you sad again, or make you cry… I'll try… I'll do everything…"

"Haymitch…" his face isn't only wet with tears, also with sweat…

"Fuck, I'll treat you like a princess if that's what it takes, but I can't lose you…"

"Haymitch!" she takes his face firmly again. He is working himself up and she realizes that he's not only hot from emotion, he is slightly feverish. Certainly from his relapse of last night. Only last night she hopes… "Calm down. Shh…" she holds his head in her chest to calm him. He's shaking, troubled, exhausted, he is not completely himself. "Calm down. Come on… You need to sleep." he nods and stands when she pulls on his hands.

She takes him back to bed, with a cold wet cloth on his forehead and heavy blankets, and waits until he's sleeping again.

Then she gets down and calls Chaff to ask him to go get the girls and bring them back here. He's the only person aside of Hazelle she knows who has a spare key of the diner.

Waiting for him, she thinks about what had just happened. And about the fact that Haymitch would never have told her all that without the fever and the exhaustion. She shouldn't be happy about that but she is, a little…

When Chaff arrives, she takes him to see Haymitch. He'll know what to do better than she does.

In the meantime, she goes to take care of the girls. Prim jumps in her arms and Katniss stays warily in front of the counter, worried.

"Is Haymitch okay? Uncle Chaff said he was sick..." she asks, tears in her eyes.

"Do not worry darling, he's not badly sick. In a day he will be perfectly fine." she answers, caressing her black braid and dragging her to a table. She sets Prim on the chair next to her sister and goes to make them something to eat.

She comes back with a tray full of cookies, strawberry cupcakes and orange juice and sits with the girls at the table. Prim refuses to stay on her chair and won't remain calm unless Effie takes her on her lap. Only then she stops fidgeting and clings to her neck, her eyes full of tears.

Katniss's face is still twisted by a scowl. She tries to keep her tears and her fear under control. Like a big sister ought to do.

"I told him I hated him… It's not true… What if he dies thinking I hate him?" her lips are wobbling.

"He's not going to die Katniss. And he knows you don't hate him. He'll be fine. In a few hours you'll see him and tell him yourself okay?" she puts her hands on Prim's ears, not wanting the toddler to be even more distressed.

"Is he abandoning us too? Is he going to scream on us and throw us away too?…" she asks, her eyes in the empty space above her glass. "He didn't come yesterday or this morning… He doesn't love us anymore either… Could we come to live with you?" she lifts her shining eyes to Effie, begging her.

She must have been more traumatized by their fight than Effie had thought. She is truly scared. And she can't blame her, she's been left alone once, why not once again…

"Katniss," she says, holding the girl's arms firmly. "Haymitch loves you, he won't leave you, ever. Do you hear me?"

She nods.

"But he loved you too. And yet… He…"

"It's different darling. This a grown people problems… He does not like me like he loves you. He won't ever scream at you or leave you, I promise…" she gathers her against her chest and group hugs the girls comfortingly. As much for them as for herself. She had missed them so much it scares her a little.

Chaff chooses that moment to come back down. He gives her a reassuring look.

"He needs to sleep a little more, but it should go away by itself. I gave him his meds, he should be okay." he whispers, not to disturb the girls.

"Okay, good. Will he…" she doesn't know how to say it but the move of her head is enough.

"He won't relapse. It was a one time thing."

"Good." she takes the girls off her and guides them to Portia study, they'll have armchairs and book there to occupy their time and their minds. She leaves the door slightly ajar and come back to Chaff.

"Are you… okay?" he asks carefully.

"I… I guess things are getting better." she can't really say now. She'll see when he's awake and aware.

"So, you're not leaving then?"

"Not any time soon no. I wouldn't have disappeared in a puff of smoke anyway. I only considered the possibility and asked information to Coin, and people made a big deal of it." she laughs. It might have been an unconscious scheme of her brain after all. And it had worked…

"Yeah…" he smiles and puts a hand on her shoulder. "You may not see it for now but, you're good for him. He… really cares about you…" he blushes at this words. Feelings are really not an easy subject with men…

Then he gets out the shop, leaving her with this assertion.

What does that mean 'cares about her'? Does he like her, does love her? She cares about her sister, she cares about the girls, she cares about Sae, but it has nothing to see with the way she 'cares about' him.

She has a thing for falling for people who don't care about her as much as she cares for them, why not one more time?…

xxx

A few days later, Haymitch is back on his two feet, completely healed from his 'mistake'. They haven't really talked since that fateful day.

On this morning, she woke up a little earlier to have time to talk with him at the diner. Now she's there, she takes a deep breath and enters. He isn't in the room, or behind the counter. So she goes to see if he's in the kitchen.

He is in the kitchen, washing some plates, his back at her. She watches him from the threshold for a while, until he turns around and spots her. He gives her a small hesitant smile.

"Hello, sweetheart."

"How are you Haymitch?" she asks entering the kitchen to get out of sight of the other customers. She keeps her arms crossed in front of her chest in a semi-conscious defensive stance. She is still a little afraid of his reactions, she remains wary and chooses her words. Careful of not triggering a new outburst of anger.

"Good. Better…" he answers. He is hesitating between coming to her or staying away. Still unsure of what's going on between them. "How are we?"

"I don't know… I don't know." she locks her eyes in his to read his every emotions. "What do you want?"

"You. I want you... However you want it. I'll do anything…" he answers without missing a beat, fear in his eyes.

She nods and takes a few seconds to think her answer.

"Maybe… Maybe we could, not start over but… Try again? Repair these lasts days?" he closes his eyes and sighs in relief. "I don't want to loose you, the three of you, but… Haymitch, this is the last time. This will be the last chance I give you…"

"Yes. Yes…" He walks to her and take her in his arms. She gives him back his embrace, but not as intensely as she would have a week ago, and he senses it. "I can't tell you how much I regret… I swear, I'll make it up to you." he kisses her head, buries his nose in her hair and breathes her in. She holds him tight, relieved to have him back, but still not certain of knowing the man she has in her arms.

He retreats after a minute or two and takes her face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. His gaze is loaded, with sadness, fear, relief, lust and the love he cannot express. Curiously she can easily read it in his eyes, when it's the hardest thing to tear out of his lips. It's the same look he has when he looks at the girls, that certitude associated with tenderness.

It eases her fear a little.

But that doesn't erase her fear of the man aside of the lover. She doesn't doubt of his affection, but she still fears his character.

Over the next days, they go back into their easy routine. The banter, the sex, the 'family' nights with the girls…

Everything goes well, he is more careful and open to her. She manages to install a form of dialogue. It often ends up in sex, angry, relieved, or else. But at least it works, that's what's counts. And she can't complain about it…

He is doing everything he can to keep her, he makes as much effort as possible. More than she had hoped for. She feels safe again, now that he's working on trusting her and talking to her, instead of hiding behind his walls and break them with shouts when she comes too close.

The last problem is herself. She can't go back to her old self. Or rather she's gone back too far, to her very old self. That teenager she was in the city, she had ran away from. That young obedient girl who did everything she was told to, who accepted everything to please, the personality-less perfect drone…

He feels it, she knows. He keeps asking her if she's okay, if she's afraid of him. Of course he puts it on himself. It is somehow his fault in a way, but it's also hers. She should fight it but she can't. She's too afraid to annoy him and provoke a fight. She rarely makes the first moves, or pushes him to do things like she would have before.

And she is also careful of not giving herself too much hope. All his intense looks, and beautiful promises are still not enough for her to believe she's not just a pretty body. Her brain needs more to believe, it needs 'the words' she has no hope of hearing.

She is like a shy ghost of herself. A self-conscious and over careful ghost.

Haymitch doesn't like that, but he doesn't say anything. She only catches his scrutinizing gaze sometimes, when he thinks she can't see him.

One night, they are cuddling on his couch, watching the TV after putting the girls to bed.

"What do you want to do for Christmas?" he asks, caressing her arm softly.

"It's time to ask, we're the eighteenth..." she teases him, "I don't know… As long as we're together…" he sighs, a little annoyed by her answer. He was certainly expecting her to drag him into shopping sprees, but she doesn't want to spoil the peace they had found.

"Of course we'll be together." he states, pressing a long kiss in her hair. They stay silent for a while, until he clears his throat. "I… We won't be there on Saturday. We need to go in town, Katniss needs to see a dentist…".

"Oh! Do you need me to come with…"

"No!" he cuts her abruptly. She recoils slightly, but he tightens his hold on her. "No. You stay here. I'll use the trip to…" he blushes a little.

"Oh…"she understands. She can't resist teasing him a little. "Christmas is in a week and you still haven't bought me a present…?"

"Shut up…" he replies but he's laughing too and drags her into a heated kiss. Kiss that they quickly have to relocate to the bedroom…

xxx

On that Saturday night, she receives a call from Haymitch's apartment. She answers, expecting to hear him, but it's the excited voice of Prim who welcomes her on the phone. It's quite late, she should be in bed already.

"Effie! You must come now!" she demands her in the authoritarian tone she often uses on her dolls during tea parties.

"Hum, okay, why?" she laughs, intrigued by the emergency in the girls voice.

"You'll see! Come!" she hears Haymitch rebuking her between two laughs for her rudeness, but she doesn't have time to ask for him. Prim hangs up on her nose.

She can't resist anything Prim asks her, and she is too intrigued to lose a minute. She jumps in her boots and coat, not caring about her very casual outfit or her lack of makeup, and drives straight to the diner.

She rings the doorbell and waits for Haymitch to come open the door. She still haven't got her key back. She hears his heavy footsteps in the stairs and the girls laughs upstairs.

When he opens the door, he pulls her inside and positions himself behind her. She doesn't even have time to frown that he already has his hands on her eyes and is urging her in the stairs.

"Haymitch what's going on?" she laughs, holding tight on the railings.

"You'll see, keep going!" It's the first time in a while that she hears that childish excitation in his voice. It's a little veiled by anguish but the excitement wins over it. She can picture his boyish half-smirk half-smile and the tinkle in his eyes. His excitement gets to her and she quickens her pace.

"Careful, last step!" he warns her.

She stops on the threshold of the door and follows his push. One step, two, three… She must be in the middle of the living room, facing the old unused fireplace. She can hear the girls giggling and shushing each other somewhere on her right.

"Merry Christmas Princess!" he says dragging his hands from her eyes to her shoulders.

She opens her eyes on the unrecognizable living room. The couch is covered by a red knitted blanket with white jacquard patterns, the windows are circled by branches and red garlands, but the most striking thing is the tree in front of the fireplace. It's a plastic tree, beautifully decorated with red, white and golden ornaments. Garlands, balls of all sizes and shapes, candy canes, little boots and socks, little Santas… No light strings or candles, of course.

It's so unexpected and beautiful that happy tears roll on her cheeks.

"Haymitch… It's…"

"Expensive… Laborious… Ridiculous…" he taunts her, but she hears the sarcasm in his voice. She turns to hit his arms playfully.

"Beautiful." His eyes soften when he sees the emotion in her eyes and strokes her cheek with his thumb. The girls giggles again, less discretely this time.

"Mistletoe!" the little voice of Prim squeals.

Effie lifts her head to see a branch just above their head. Then another a few feet away. And another. They can hardly make a step without stepping under a branch of mistletoe. She shakes her head fondly and plants a quick kiss, full of promises for later, on Haymitch's lips.

"Thank you." she whispers before turning toward the girls. "So! Which one of you did all this?"

"Haymitch bought the tree, we chose the ornaments!" Katniss explains.

"I chose the whites!" Prim adds.

"And I the reds!"

"I asked them to chose one colors and take whatever they wanted. And here we are!" Haymitch clarifies.

"It's so pretty." Effie says, approaching to admire their work with awe. "Who chose the golden ones?" she asks, playing with the gold angel's hair, placed strategically to reflect the light like if there were lights in the tree.

"I did." Haymitch answered, passing a hand in her hair absent-mindlessly.

"It's so beautiful. I love it. Congratulations!" she smiles to them all, holding Haymitch's hand tight in hers.

"Come on girls, time to go to bed!" Haymitch announces in his dad voice.

The two girls, already in their pyjamas, grumble and complain, but obey in the end. Katniss dragging her sister by the hand in the stairs. Effie laughs at the endearing scene.

Once the girls in their rooms, Haymitch turns her in his arms and kisses her tenderly.

"You didn't have to do all that…" she tells him when they break.

"I did." he replies harshly. "You would have dragged me to do this, if… If I hadn't been an asshole."

"You're not…" She begins but he shuts her up with a hand on her mouth.

"Effie, I… I miss the bubbly, excited, cheerful princess I met. The pain in my ass, making me do things, rebuking me on my language, laughing at my flaws. The woman who wasn't afraid of the crazy old man I am. The woman I had not driven away…" he closes his eyes to take a deep breath. "I miss… I miss the woman I fell in love with."

She's crying, silently, waiting for him to lift his head and open his eyes. She wants to see his eyes, they are her favorite features on him, and the part of him she trusts the most. When he finally looks at her, she sees them full of tears, of fear and of love.

And she kisses him. Hard. It's the only response she can think of, her throat his closed by her overflowing heart.

And he kisses her too. Holding her so tight in his arms, like if she was going to melt and disappear in a blink.

They kiss for a long time, in front of that Christmas tree. She looses track of it, but it must be at least a few minutes. A few minutes when he never makes a move to heat things. In this moment, he doesn't want her. He just wants her.

When they finally break their embrace, she's still crying and he's still clutching her waist, preventing her of fleeing from his arms. Not that she would go anywhere, she can barely take her forehead off his.

"So… You love me?" she asks, biting her bottom lip to hold her laugh.

He sighs and chuckles.

"I didn't hear you reciprocate…" he grumbles with fake annoyance, but she kisses him silent.

"I love you… I love you, I love the girls… I love the family you gave me…"

He kisses her again. To cut her before it becomes too much for him surely.

But he quickly takes her in his arms to carry her to his bedroom. Eager to show her the extent of his affection. Several times during the night…

xxx

Four days later, she's closing the shop after an exhausting day -or two- of baking, decorating, packing and selling Christmas goods.

It's six pm and she's got one hour to get ready for the Christmas Eve night.

She takes a shower, does her makeup, puts on her 'early gift' for Haymitch, and finally her white skater dress with white faux-fur at the hems. This is certainly one of Portia's masterpiece. The gold embroideries are so thin they are almost invisible, only bringing light where it is needed.

She gets back down, takes her travel bag full of presents, cookies and clothes, and the box with her vanilla and caramel Yule log and drives to Haymitch's place.

When she arrives, Katniss comes to open the door, she's wearing a darling red dress and her hair in a braid crown, and Prim is running all over the place, in her candy cane tights and green furry little dress. She looks like a small Christmas elf.

As for Haymitch, he is in the kitchen, taking care of the seafood platter he had chosen for dinner. It's the first time she sees him wearing a white shirt, and she wonders if it's the best choice when you have two little girls about to fight with langoustine tails and clams. The red bow tie is a nice detail, and the navy blue smoking pants the most flattering piece he chose. Her mouth waters, both from the dish and the man in front of her eyes.

He catches her hungry gaze above his shoulder and laughs.

"Later sweetheart." he teases, going to wash his hands before taking her in a breathtaking kiss.

Then he calls the girls for dinner.

They eat the seafood platter, garnished with smoked salmon, langoustines, shrimps, clams, oysters, crab, frying and different sauces and mayonnaise. Then the pumpkin and chestnuts soup with spices, and finally Effie's log, made of almond genoese, vanilla cream and a salted caramel liquid heart.

After that copious dinner, they settle in the living room.

Haymitch doesn't put a log in the fireplace, but he turns on the TV, on a channel that only broadcasts the film of a fireplace all night. He sits in the couch, with a girl on each side of him, and Effie sits in the armchair facing them, ready to listen to Haymitch's Christmas tale.

He chooses a traditional one from his family. She had never heard it. It's about little girls, searching for fairies, elves and korrigans in the woods, getting lost and rescued by kind wild animals.

She surprises herself at smiling and laughing with the girls, listening to him changing his voice to impersonate the different characters. She loves seeing him like that, comfortable, relaxed. Himself.

Past midnight, they get the girls to bed.

She takes care of Prim who's already drifting off in her arms. She takes her to bed, helps her in her pyjamas and tells her a story. All along, the little girl never lets go of her hand.

When she finishes her story, the little toddler turns to her, rubbing her eyes.

"I love you…" she mumbles sleepily with an adorable pout.

"I love you too honey…" she answers, taking back her hand and pressing a kiss on her forehead.

She's refreshing her makeup and hair in the bathroom when she hears Haymitch going to Prim's room to kiss her goodnight. She doesn't mean to listen to their conversation, but she can't help overhearing part of it…

"Haymitch?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Can Effie stay forever? Be my new mommy?"

He sighs, and she can imagine him rubbing his nape awkwardly.

"I… I don't know sweetheart. It's her choice." he answers. "But I really do hope so too…" he adds, for her and a little for himself maybe.

Effie discretely leaves the bathroom, keeping this little incident for herself, and gets back downstairs on tiptoes, directly to Haymitch's room.

She decides to put her plan to execution. She waits until she hears him in the stairs, and begins sucking suggestively on the candy cane she had stolen in a jar.

He freezes when he enters the room and sees her, and quickly closes the door behind his back to pounce on her. She kisses him back but doesn't let him have his way with her.

Instead she pushes him flat on the bed and stands at its foot, far enough that he can see her all and her reflection in the mirror.

He settles against the pillows, sucking on the candy cane she threw with him, takes off his bow tie and undoes the first buttons of his shirt, ready to enjoy the show.

She takes off her dress slowly, exposing her red lingerie clad body. She blushes a little, seeing him drool like that, in front of her in a red lacy and silky corset, with matching panties and garter belt.

His pants are stretched at the groin, but he doesn't even reach for himself, too enthralled by her show. He keeps his eyes on her face, mouth gaping as she crawls over him, still with her heels on.

"Fuck… What's that for?" he asks, as she pushes her breast on his face.

"Merry Christmas darling…" she simply purrs, before taking his lips in a languorous kiss.

Soon his hands and mouth are all over her, and he makes sure this Christmas gift turns to her advantage.

Afterwards, she jumps out of bed and goes to rummage in her travel bag.

"What are you doing?" he asks sleepily, opening one eye to look for her in the dark.

"I am not doing the present opening tomorrow morning in torn apart lingerie…" she answers, and he has the nerve to laugh. And he doesn't stop when she takes out her Christmas pyjamas. A pair of white and red soft jacquard pants and a white camisole.

"Mock me if you will…" she pouts, a little vexed.

"That's cute." he laughs opening his arms to invite her back in the bed. "And you're not wrong…" he adds, outstretching one arm to catch a pair of sweatpants in the dresser.

She comes back to huddle against his chest under the covers, and makes herself comfortable, her head against his naked skin, lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his heart.

xxx

The next morning, they are woken up by two little girls jumping on the bed, screaming and pulling on their arms to get them out of bed, all excited by the prospect of opening their numerous presents, that have mysteriously appeared at the foot of the tree during the night.

Effie's the first to get out of bed. She goes to the kitchen with Katniss and they make a tray of Christmas cookies, muffins, toasts and fruit. Haymitch soon join them, not very awake after their… eventful night, and prepares juices, hot chocolate, and a very needed pot of coffee.

They brings the trays on the coffee table, joining Prim who's trying to read the names on the presents. Effie sits on the floor with the girls, just as excited as they are! She hands her first present to Haymitch, a joke more than a present. He rolls his eyes with a smirk as he reads the title of the book "How to cook less greasy". He gets down on his knees next to them to give her a big round metallic box and a few boxes to the girls. She opens it to find a collection of expensive exotic teas. Behind her the girls shriek discovering their new toys, dolls, and books. She's happy to see that her presents -leather boots for Katniss and a blue dress for Prim - make them just as happy as Haymitch's – toys and dolls for Prim and books and an inscription for archery classes for Katniss.

They keep going with all the packages under the tree. She gives Haymitch a new shaving kit, new socks to replace all those with holes at the toes, a new tartan flannel shirt, homemade sweater and scarf in dark blue wool and a bottle of his – and her- favorite cologne. He gifts her with a new recipe book of French pastries, a few pieces of night clothing to keep there – a darling almond green silk nightgown, warmer blue flannel pyjamas and a white dressing gown.

She helps the girls with her last present, two matching bracelets, made of a simple ribbon with a heart shaped charm. She had chosen a red one for Katniss and a cream white one for Prim.

Then Haymitch gives her a small envelope. She opens it to find two train tickets to Maine, and a schedule for three days at Goose Rocks Beach for the next Summer. She turns towards him, flabbergasted.

"You remembered?" he nods, blushing a little. "So you were listening…" he shrugs and she laughs, standing to come on his lap to kiss him properly, and whisper him one last thing "So, you were already interested…" he laughs, groping her ass playfully and wriggling his eyebrows. "Thank you."

"You're welcome princess." he answers with one last kiss before putting her back on the ground.

"Haymitch can we go upstairs?" Katniss asks, her arms already full of her presents, ready to run in her room.

"But there are…"

"Run!" he answers, laughing at the girls' enthusiasm.

"But there are still some presents to open!" Effie almost pouts, looking at the three boxes left under the lowest branches.

Haymitch kneels next to her and takes the square blue one and hands it to her. She takes it to find a simple silver chain with a big Tahitian black pearl on a pendant.

"Oh my god… It's beautiful…" she gasps, wondering if he knows the meaning of that kind of pearl. Never ending love…

He takes it and puts it around her neck. It falls perfectly between her breast, not to low to be hidden by her clothes, but not too high to be shown off. He presses a tender kiss on the side of neck while she leans to take her last present.

She gives it to him, scrutinizing his reaction when he discovers the golden watch she bought him.

"What's that? A manacle?" he teases. She has to admit she didn't chose the most discrete one, but it was beautiful, and it would go perfectly on his tanned skin. And the grey marble dial background had reminded her of his eyes.

He puts it on, softening his gaze seeing the little vexed pout on her face, and erases it with a kiss.

"Thanks sweetheart."

"What's in that last box?" she asks, pointing her finger on the little red box left alone on the ground.

"That's not… Not really a present…" he says, taking it but not giving it right away. "It's… Kind of a… proposition." He keeps hesitating, playing with the box in his hand, so she snatches it from his fingers.

Inside is a golden key ring. With a few little trinkets, a light pink tassel with a fake diamond to link it to the chain, a metallic plate engraved with the word "HOME" and a chain with three little charms, a little girl with one braid, an other one with two braids, and a little princess crown. And of course, a big key, just like the one she had thrown at his face a couple of weeks ago.

"Do you… Would you like to come… Live with us?" he asks her, holding her hand in his, slightly shaking.

She doesn't really need to think about it.

"Of course! I'd love to!" she whispers, falling in his arms.

She can't help thinking about Prim's words the previous night, and his answer.

Of course she'll stay.

There was nothing she wanted, needed, more for this Christmas but to Build her new family. Take care of these two little girls, and mend that broken man she's holding in her arms.

She might need to go back to Coin after all…

xxx

And this chapter is over… only one left! One week before Christmas!

Please tell me everything! I love to know what people think!

See you next Thursday! xxx