Natsu woke up feeling a little bit better than the day before. Camping and being outside in the elements always calmed him down, the fresh air and sleeping under the stars with a fire roaring the entire night just had an effect on him he could never ignore. He was still a little ways away from the job he had decided to take, but he knew space between himself and home was the best thing for him when he felt overwhelmed like he had yesterday. He had contemplated turning around and going to see his therapist but remembered why he stopped going in the first place. Dr. Frank told him he was making progress. He cut their sessions from one hour once a week to half an hour every two weeks, so eventually he just stopped showing up. He regretted it a little because not many people knew about his past and it was hard to open up about in the first place. Hell Lucy and Erza only knew because of a drunken night they had together for Lucy's birthday the year before.

Stretching and deciding to get some food before setting out for the day he walked around looking for something edible. He had some dried fish in his pack as well as some trail mix, but he wanted to save those just in case he needed them later. He found some wild mushrooms he thought he could make something with later but nothing else in his immediate vicinity. After packing his bag he sniffed and followed his nose to a tree that had oranges and took a couple of them. Some for now and some for later. He began to peel one and started to walk again, letting his thoughts drift as he walked. Natsu still didn't understand how Gray could be so inconsiderate as to come to his house smelling like he did! He took a deep breath, there was no one around for a few miles, so he decided to do what his therapist had once recommended. He always felt better after saying his thoughts, fears and concerns out loud, so he started talking while he walked.

"Stupid ice pansy. Why would you not take a shower before going somewhere after sex? That was the one rule I fully understood from them...the one thing we never fought over. It's not like it's hard. If Juvia is so in love with him she wouldn't have minded, it would have given her more time with 'Gray-sama'" he said in a disgusted tone. "Ugh..maybe I did overreact a little, it's not like Gray knows how I feel about him. Hell he said I was like a brother, I don't think he would ignore my feelings if he did know about them. Clearly he has no issue fucking Juvia and she's insane. Okay she isn't insane but love at first sight is a load of bullshit!"

Natsu knew in his heart he stayed away from Gray to protect him, but it was hard when he had real feelings for the ice wizard and Juvia fell in love after literally laying her eyes on him. But Gray chose Juvia to spend his nights with, not Natsu. Gods he really was jealous of her! He knew intellectually that he shouldn't be, the way Gray talked about her last night confirmed that, but the dragon slayer preferred to run on impulse. Besides she got to see a side of Gray that he believed he would never get to, and it really hurt him.

"Maybe I should turn around and go home..." Natsu stopped walking and leaned against a tree. "I did leave really fast and Happy has to be worried about me. Lisanna too." Natsu blushed at the thought. Lisanna had caught him in their old "house" sulking and crying. She didn't say a word at first, just walked over to him calmly sat down and put her arms around him. He got so caught up in the comfort he didn't realize she was talking to him until she said a name he didn't ever want to hear again.

FLASHBACK

"Don't! I don't want to talk about them Lis!" He pulled away from her and walked to the other side of the hut. She stayed quiet for a few minutes just taking in his appearance. Once she felt he had calmed down again she walked over and wrapped her arms around him again. Natsu leaned in enjoying her natural vanilla scent and soft skin. "Gray came over to check on me last night...he smelled like other people and I kinda freaked out on him. I had another nightmare last night and was outside to get some fresh air and he walked up smelling like Juvia of all people. Why can't he tell how I feel? You were able to figure it out!"

Lisanna didn't hesitate before responding. "Because you once looked at me like that. Like the sun rose and set with me. I would know that look anywhere Natsu, no matter how much time has passed." Natsu looked up at her face for a second momentarily feeling bad for her. When she came back it just wasn't the same, he had already met them, lost them and had long since fallen for Gray. Lisanna recognized his change of heart and didn't press the issue. But she was also the first person he opened up to about what he had gone through. She couldn't blame him for feeling differently towards her, afterall he thought she was dead. "Natsu? I don't want to upset you, so let me finish before you respond. You have had a hard time when it comes to love." She felt him tense up in her arms but kept going anyways. "You said so yourself that true love scares you. When you feel a fire in your heart it consumes you too fast for you to focus on anything else. Maybe it is for the best that he doesn't know. What if he told you he felt the same? Would you be able to protect him and protect your heart?"

Natsu sat very still for a few minutes. Would he? He had stayed away from anything remotely romantic because he knew he had issues. Sure he had one night stands, and a few fuck buddies, issues aside he still had a very active sex drive. But he wasn't sure if he was ready for commitment, not again. "I don't know Lisanna. I really don't. I think I'm gonna go on a job, just me. I need time to think, I have to get away from him. I slipped up and said I was jealous of her last night, and I don't know if he heard it or not, but I need to prepare myself in case he did." Natsu suddenly jumped and crouched in front of Lisanna ready to pounce. After taking a few sniffs he calmed down and realized he smelled Happy. Fuck. Now he might never be able to leave.

"Natsu! Oh...hey Lisanna! What happened Natsu, Gray said you stormed off last night and we didn't know where you went! He stayed all night hoping you would come back! Did you have another nightmare? I told him that you sometimes run off when you need time to think, but when I left he didn't follow me. Did you two have a fight?"

"Yes Happy I had a nightmare...wait. You said you told him this is what i normally do when im upset and he let you go off by yourself!? That asshole! He doesn't care about me, there's no way he does! Not only did he watch me run off last night, he also let you run off this morning and didn't follow you! Fuck this Lisanna I'm leaving! I will be back in a few weeks."

Not waiting to hear them argue with him like he knew they would he took off running ignoring their pleas for him to stay.

END FLASHBACK

Natsu grimaced at the memory and took a detour, somewhere in this part of the woods he knew there was a cabin that he used to visit quite frequently. He wasn't sure if she would be home, but he knew if she was it could be the distraction he needed from his thoughts. Her name was Sarah, and Natsu met her at a lifestyle meeting the same lifestyle meeting that changed how life forvever. She was one of the few that truly knew Natsu during that time of his life and was actually who found him roaming the forest afterwards. He broke into a sprint feeling almost desperate for a release and for a good talk. She was a wizard but Natsu had never seen her use her powers. Like Natsu she had been in a rather traumatizing relationship and seldomly used her magic anymore. He sniffed the air and knew he was getting close to her cabin, he could still smell the combination of lavender and tea leaves on her and felt his body relaxing bit by bit until he was right in front of her door. Just as he went to knock the door swung open and he was face to face with the woman of his current desires.

Sarah was a head shorter than Natsu with waist length bright green hair and golden eyes. She looked the same as he remembered. She still wore an oversized top that had such a deep V you could see the lace bra she wore, more for appearances than for any actual support. Her shirt was tucked into a black skirt that stopped halfway in the middle of her thighs, showing off the pair of thigh highs she always wore. Just as he remembered she was pleasantly plump and he greedily ran his eyes over her busty chest and shapely curves. He was panting as she returned the favor looking him from top to bottom, eyes stopping over his growing bulge. Without saying a word she grabbed his hand and led him inside, Natsu closing the door with his foot on the way in. As soon as the door was shut she attacked him, kissing him so hard it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. He brought his arms around her and picked her up slamming her into the closed door and gripping her ass so tight she pulled away to moan. Not to be outdone she began nibbling and biting on his neck remembering the spots that made the dragon slayer groan in appreciation. "Fuck I've missed you Natsu. Why don't we skip the foreplay and head straight to the bedroom?"

Natsu nodded his head and slipped off his sandals and began kissing her again. Slowly but deliberately walking in the direction he knew her room to be in. Once inside he placed her on the bed and backed up to admire her. They both knew that there could only ever be sex between them but Natsu didn't like her feeling like she was being used and besides, the woman was fucking beautiful. She wiggled out of her clothes never breaking eye contact with Natsu. Fuck she swore she could come just from him watching her, his eyes were squinted so intense and you could practically see the lust rolling off of his body. She started to take off her thigh highs when a growl stopped her.

"Leave them on. I wanna fuck you wearing those." Natsu stripped faster than he could ever remember doing in his entire life. How long had it been since he had sex? A month, two? Either way he didn't want to waste precious time. He crawled over her and pinched her left nipple between his fingers enjoying the way she arched her back pushing her ample breasts further into his face. Taking the invitation he pulled the other nipple into his mouth licking and sucking, biting exactly how he knew she enjoyed it. Keeping his hands on her breasts he trailed his tongue in between them and made his way down to between her thighs kissing and licking the entire way. He spread her legs apart and gave her one long lick on her core. Reaching down with one hand he placed one finger at her entrance and slowly pushed his way inside relishing in the moan she released as a reward for his efforts. When she felt adequately stretched he added a second finger. Remembering what she taught him he curled his fingers inside her pumping slowly and began licking and sucking on the pearl between her legs. He could smell her arousal growing with every second passing. She gave direction every now and then 'faster' or 'harder' and he was more than happy to oblige, she still smelled heavenly and Natsu knew if he were to die in this moment he would be happy. Enjoying the way her breathing got heavier until finally she came screaming his name and clenching the sheets. She slowly and shakily sat up with a small smile on her face, "Do you want me to take care of you?"

"No Sarah you know I do that for you to prepare you. I wouldn't want you to get hurt again." Natsu gently put his hands under her hips and coaxed her to flip over and then tugged her by the waist to place her on her knees with her ass in the air. He couldn't help himself as he bent down and put his face in between her cheeks. There really was nothing in the world like her smell and he could easily drown himself in it. Giving himself a few quick pumps he pushed two fingers inside her wanting to cover his fingers in her fluids. The first time they had sex they had rushed and she had gotten hurt. Remembering that, he fingered her a little while longer before covering his dick with her fluids and placing the tip at her entrance. Natsu placed his knees on the bed and gave one quick thrust, burying himself as deep as he could inside her tight passage. She moaned his name loudly, half with pleasure and half with pain. Just how he liked it. He let her get comfortable with the intrusion and set the pace before he began to move. He dug his hands into her hips and began to build speed not wanting to hurt her but not able to hold still. Nothing felt this good, he could literally feel her walls contracting around him. She told him once that she practiced with Kegel Balls and he couldn't help but feel thankful to whoever invented them because it was always amazing.

"I d-don't think I'm going to last long..." He grunted out picking up speed again. They were both sweating and a mess of half moans and half demands came out of her mouth. "Fine...ju-jus-just go mmmm please faster. HARDER!" she screamed at him. Natsu smiled and leaned back a bit, regripping her waist letting his fingers sink into her curves and really letting loose. He pounded into her so hard her headboard was smashing into the wall and the entire bed was moving. He could feel her contracting around him again and he knew he wanted her to come again first. So he raised one hand to his mouth and licked it before reaching around her to play with her pearl again. The other hand gathering her hair up and pulling so her back arched more and her head was up. Her moans immediately got louder and she started panting his name. Natsu could feel his balls getting tighter and knew there wasn't much time before he came to his end. Moving his hand faster and slamming into her so fast she stopped moaning and literally screamed his name, he felt her come and tightened on him so hard it forced his orgasm. She collapsed forward and he came on her backside covering her beautiful ass and those wonderful thigh highs in his come.

Natsu admired the view for a few seconds before he got up and grabbed a towel from the linen closet and wiped himself off before giving her attention. He made sure to clean up all of it so she wouldn't be sticky. He scooped her up in his arms and placed her in the chair near the window before changing the sheets for her and then carrying her into the bathroom. She didn't say a word but had a smile on her face as he washed the two of them. He knew the importance of after care and took it seriously. Once she was clean and in a fresh set of clothing he set her on the bed in front of him and began brushing her hair with a brush he found in the bathroom.

"I always look forward to your visits Natsu." She purred. "Though I wish it hadn't been so long since I last saw you. I get rather lonely out here with no one to talk to. But that's a story for another day. How are you, and don't bullshit me. I always know when you're lying."

Natsu rolled his eyes and sighed but told her everything. From the dream he had to Gray coming up to him and then eventually him leaving.

"Hmm you know I should be upset that you didn't come this way just to see me but I suppose it can't be helped. How frequent are you dreaming about them?"

"Almost every night, but the weird thing is that they're not all nightmares. Maybe like 50/50? I sometimes don't even see their faces but I know it's them. I can smell them. I can hear their voices as if they were standing right next to me. The worst one is a time we all went to the movies. I was walking in between them and we were all holding hands and laughing about some silly scene. Then all of a sudden they stop laughing and when I look at them they aren't laughing anymore but crying, and asking me why? Why did you do it? And then I'm alone. It's pitch black but I can still hear them crying, asking me why I didn't love them enough to not hurt them."

Sarah shifted in between his legs and spun around to face him. "You know as well as I do that your relationship with them was far from perfect. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the reason you see a happy memory before they start accusing you could just be your head succeeding in making you feel more guilty? I am not saying what happened wasn't partly your fault, we both know you had a part to play. But just like we have talked about, trust is important in this lifestyle. And they didn't trust you. Fireplay is tricky, and everyone should have been on their guard. You can't fully blame yourself for them not taking it seriously. I have seen what your flames can do Natsu. They should have been paying attention."

She looked up and noticed that he had begun to cry. "Natsu baby let it out. You know I will never judge you, never leave you. You have me forever and ever. Whatever you need. I need you just as you need me." She tugged him towards her and he fell face first into her chest. Sniffling a few times before fully laying down and pushing her back to get more comfortable.

"Can I stay a few days? I know I said I had a job to do but I think I should stay here for a few days and collect my thoughts. Taking a job in my current state I think I would do more harm than good."

Sarah said nothing but she nodded her head. She got up and walked around the bed pulling the blankets back she motioned for him to get under the covers and cuddled up to him. "You stay as long as you need. This is a judgement free zone. You're safe here Natsu."

Gray woke up feeling very well rested. Looking around he noticed they had slept in later than they normally do when traveling. Happy was looking around and sniffing like crazy and it put him on edge. "Yo Happy! What is it? Do you smell someone?"

Happy's head snapped up. "I don't know. My nose isn't as good as Natsu but it almost smells like he is close to here. And over there it looks like a footprint from his sandals. Maybe he is around here."

Erza at that point had joined them and was looking as well. "I mean it definitely could be him. Is the smell strong enough that you could follow it? He doesn't seem to be heading towards the job any longer because it's the opposite direction that Natsu seems to be heading towards."

Happy nodded his head "Aye! If i lose the scent I will tell you!"

The exceed put his nose to the ground and started walking towards where he believed the smell to be coming from. Gray couldn't believe it. So the flame brain takes off without saying anything at all and then doesn't even go to the job he took! They could almost be there by now helping someone and getting the reward for it! But instead they're following what could be his scent through a thick ass forest and Gray was honestly getting mad. "Look! It looks like he camped here last night! That's exactly how he makes his fire pits and all the extra wood so it won't go out throughout the night! It goes this way come on!"

The team grumbled but followed behind him he seemed to know where he was going and every now and then he would stop and look around.

They walked for what felt like forever but was honestly maybe an hour before they came across a cabin. Being members of Fairy Tail they hid behind some trees and scoped the place out before getting any closer. Lucy spoke up first "what's a cabin doing in the middle of these woods? There's nothing around for miles. I can't imagine living out here."

Gray was thinking the same thing, but Happy was looking at the cabin and focusing so hard he thought he would explode. "NATSU!" Happy yelled.

Almost instantly the cabin door swung open and a very pissed off woman stood in the doorway. Gray took in her appearance and immediately liked what he saw. She's cute! But boy does she look mad!

"Who dares invade my private property?!" The mystery lady screamed and slowly took a step forward.

At this point they came out from behind the trees, they were caught at this point so there was no longer a reason to hide. "We are looking for our friend!" Happy said. He stood tall staring at the strange woman, although Gray could see he was shaking a little bit.

"Your friend? No one comes through here. Except for people who know where to look! Now leave this place!" Not waiting for an answer she turned around to go back inside. Erza who had been oddly quiet took offense to this and requipped saying "Happy says our friend is here and we're not leaving until we find him!"

"Yeah! We're members of Fairy Tail! We don't abandon our friends!" Lucy was already reaching for her keys.

Suddenly the woman jumped back "Did you say Fairy Tail?"

Gray chuckled "Oh have you heard of us? It's too late now! You don't wanna tell us what we wanna know then fine! We will just have to beat it out of you! Ice make-"

Before he could get the words out a blast of fire came from inside the house. The woman stepped aside and a very pissed off Natsu was standing in the doorway. Head down and eyes narrowed, his fists were flames and his voice was a growl as he said "Who the fuck are you and why are you attacking my friend? I WAS FINALLY GETTING SOME SLEEP! Somebody better have some goddamn—Happy? Erza? What are y'all doing here?" The dragon slayer looked around confused. One minute he was sleeping soundly the next he heard yelling.

"What are WE doing here? No what the fuck are you doing here? You took a job and stopped at some random bitches cabin instead of actually going to the town?" Gray couldn't believe his eyes. He was angry earlier but he was still worried about him. And of course seeing the creepy cabin in the middle of the woods didn't help the situation. He thought he was in trouble!

Natsu let his flames die before responding quietly. "I was going to the job. Then i remembered Sarah lived nearby and decided to pay her a visit. It's… been awhile." Sarah plastered a smile on her face and stepped closer grabbing Natsu's hand and rubbing his arm with her free hand. "Natsu baby you don't have to explain. This is partly my fault. You know how I feel about visitors." She smiled brightly at the 'visitors' in question "Natsu dear is a good friend of mine, we have quite a history together. He was sleeping so soundly and I didn't want him to be interrupted but that doesn't excuse my rudeness. I apologize! I've heard a lot about you and I hate that my first impression was me being nasty to you. Would you like to come in?"

"Fuck no-!"

Gray tried to deny but Erza caught him in the back of the head. "Did you say your name was Sarah? I have heard of you! It's so nice to finally put a face to the name. We would love to come in!"

Sarah looked at Natsu coyly while the dragon slayer tried his hardest to hide his blush. "You talk about me do you? Oh you naughty boy what stories have you shared?"

At this point all eyes were on them. Shocked. Naughty boy? Did she really say that? Gray couldn't tear his eyes off of the two as Natsu stood there as if he were frozen to the ground and Sarah looked at him as if he were prey.

"Well do come in I am sure you have questions." She said locking eyes with Gray. Gray didn't back down he stared right back at her as he walked up to the front door. Only when he got a few feet in front of her did she tug Natsu into the house and let them inside.