Natsu sat down on the chair closest to the fire, and Sarah took a seat on his lap wrapping his arms around the front of her waist. She waited for everyone to sit down before speaking "So, I take it Natsu baby took off because he got upset and didn't let anyone know where he was going? Am I correct?"
Ezra nodded "Happy here tried to stop him as well as Lisanna but when he gets his mind set on something that's pretty much it."
Sarah laughed and said "That's my Natsu dear. So high strung. And did you say Lisanna? I Didn't realize you two were still so close! Thats nice to know…"
Natsu's grip unconsciously tightened slightly around her, "You know it's not like that anymore. I told you, I don't have feelings for her! I couldn't even if I wanted to." He looked straight into the fire and mumbled, counting backwards from ten, while she patiently waited for him to finish. His grip loosened on Sarah as he got to one. She smiled, "Oh I know but I could never get the full story about you two, however I know she looked similar to Amara."
"Why do you always insist on saying their names?"
Erza and Lucy both straightened up and stared at Sarah in shock, she said the name and Natsu was being surprisingly calm about it. Who is this woman? He had mentioned her in passing a few times but Natsu clearly was pretty comfortable around her considering she was still sitting on his lap and was now leaning back against him playing with his hair. Meanwhile Gray felt like he was going to explode. He was trying to be respectful to his host but now he just had more questions. It seemed like this Amara was someone important to Natsu and then it dawned on him. Amara, that could be one of the initials from the ring he found!
Natsu let out a sigh and lifted her off of his lap before standing up and stretching. "Okay well I guess just do whatever you want but I need some air. Happy there's a river close by, wanna go fishing? I have some old poles out back." Happy grinned, "Aye sir!"
The pair took off leaving Erza, Lucy and Gray with Sarah, the mystery woman. Gray needed to calm himself down and asked where the bathroom was. She pointed down the hall and he excused himself. As soon as he was in the bathroom he shut the door and splashed some water on his face. Who the hell is this Sarah person? Why does she keep calling Natsu baby? Steeling his resolve to get answers, today, he blindly reached for a towel and dried his face. Upon further inspection he noticed he was using Natsu's boxers. Ugh what the fucking fuck?! Why the fuck did he have boxers hanging on the towel rack? Storming out of the bathroom with them in his hands he yelled "Okay, who are you to Natsu? What is going on? How did he know to come here and who is Amara? And why did I just dry my face off with a pair of his boxers?"
Sarah looked at him clearly amused and motioned for him to sit down. "I will tell you what I can without breaking Natsu dears trust. But remember no questions, I will not tell his story for him. Erza, Lucy? Natsu tells me he has told you bits and pieces but what I am about to say will only cut out the ending. Please try not to be angry with him for not telling you the entire thing. The only reason I know all of it is because I was there. Would anyone like tea? It's a long story and I fear my throat will hurt before I am done."
She made her way over to the small kitchen and filled a tea kettle with water and set it on the stove, grabbing four mugs from the cabinet she began her story.
"I first met Natsu a few years ago at a BDSM lifestyle meeting…"
"What?! The flame brain is into BDSM?" Before Gray could even get his laugh out Sarah was an inch in front of his face and he couldn't move. "Don't ever mock Natsu in my presence. That man has been through more than you know and he deserves kindness, not mocking." Gray involuntarily shivered at the look in her eyes, she looked down right murderous. He slowly nodded his head and muttered an apology. She smiled and straightened back up.
As suddenly as she was directly in front of him, she was again in the kitchen.
"Okay, as I was saying, I met him at a BDSM lifestyle meeting. We used to have meetings once every other month to share stories and experiences. As well as to make sure people were being safe. The first time I saw him, he was sitting in the back with his head down but I noticed he kept making eyes at Amara. The meetings normally are taught by someone who has a lot of experience in the lifestyle as a whole, and that week it just so happened to be Amara's boyfriend. We all called him J. Amara noticed that as J was teaching his eyes kept wandering to the back of the room, so she followed his line of sight and saw Natsu. She wasn't exactly shy so when the meeting ended she made her way to the back of the room. At this point it is necessary to tell a bit of Natsu's backstory. But please remember no questions. After Natsu was abandoned by Igneel, he was taken in by a family in a nearby village. They had made it a habit to pick people up not only to give them a place to stay but also to help on the family farm. This was about a year before he ended up at Fairy Tail. One of the men who lived with Natsu was in charge of taking care of the animals, and as I am sure you know Natsu has a weakness for animals. Natsu volunteered to help him out and over time they became close. So close that he called him uncle. Well that uncle one evening decided to be even closer and molested Natsu. Continuing almost every night for six months, telling him that if he told anyone that he would be kicked out and homeless again. So Natsu kept quiet. Eventually the owner of the farm caught him and now he is serving a well deserved sentence in jail. Natsu was told that that was not a healthy or normal relationship and from what I was told your Master helped him work through most of those issues. But of course he still has issues with intimacy. Trauma recognizes trauma and Amara saw a kindred soul in him."
The kettle began whistling and Sarah began to prepare the tea. She set everything up at the table and motioned for them to move over. Once everyone was situated and content she began again.
"Where was I? Oh yeah. Amara had similar issues when we were younger so I guess part of her noticed that look in his eyes. She opened up to him and told her it was part of the reason she turned to BDSM in the first place. After that they became fast friends. He was staying in town on an extended mission so they spent a lot of time together. Eventually Natsu told her that he had been staring at her that evening because she reminded him of Lisanna. She didn't mind at all, in fact she was flattered that he thought she resembled his childhood love interest. In the spirit of being honest, she told him that her boyfriend J was one of the main reasons she had reached out to Natsu in the first place. J had a specific kink, and that was he enjoyed watching her with other people. At first Natsu was kinda angry, he felt betrayed and like she was using him. She told him that wasn't the case. She always chose who he watched her with he just had the final say in it. Eventually it began to excite him, thinking that when he was in public with her there was always someone watching. They had some intense make out sessions in public and as the two became closer things turned more physical. Fast forward a few weeks Natsu finished his job and had to return to Fairy Tail. The day before he left he opened up to Amara about being curious about his sexuality and asking if J would possibly like to join them. She was immediately excited and arranged for them all to meet up. That to my knowledge was the first time they were all together, but it certainly wasn't the last time. He started coming by more and more frequently, anytime he had a job in the area he would come and stay with them. They became an official couple and everything. Even going as far to get matching promise rings." She stopped to take a few sips of tea, staring into the distance as if she was reliving this time of their lives.
Gray gasped. Of all the things he thought of a polygamist relationship with a man and a woman were the last thing on his mind. He remembered the time frame she was talking about because for almost a full year Natsu would take jobs with the team and almost immediately say he was going on a solo mission and come back much later but never with any money. He never explained where he went but would complain that he needed money until the team headed out again. Well atleast now it all made sense. He snuck a look at Lucy and Erza and noticed they didn't look bothered by any of this information. So they knew all of this? How the hell did they keep it a secret?
"They were together as a trio for a little over a year before the incident that broke them up. Natsu was never the same after that but he reached out to me and I couldn't turn him away. Around the same time Natsu went through this I went through a bad break up myself. And even though Amara is my sister, I knew that she was in the wrong."
That part shocked all of them, "Amara is your sister?" Gray couldn't help but ask her. He assumed by how close they were that things had gotten physical between them. Was Natsu sleeping with his ex girlfriend's sister?
"Yes. Amara is my baby sister. I know what it sounds like. And before you ask, yes, me and Natsu are lovers. We both have pretty specific needs when it comes sex and based on your reaction to him being interested in BDSM I can see why he hasn't told anyone else what he likes."
"I can speak for both myself and Lucy when I say I see no issue with what you do." Erza was no longer making eye contact with anyone but was stirring her tea slowly. "People who go through a trauma, of any kind, but especially in a sexual nature may turn to BDSM. Some need to feel in control of what is happening to them, while others may need to have the opposite. It can be as small and non sexual as being told what to eat for the day or complete control over every aspect. While some situations call for sexual dominance. It differs for each person though."
"Yeah I can get that, either way this is alot to take in. I feel like I am getting a whole different side to Natsu than I know. I mean I knew he had issues with intimacy, hell I thought he was still a virgin, but this is crazy." Gray looked at Sarah and hoped she would explain further.
"You're right Gray and I am sorry that I had to be the one to tell you. I told Natsu that i would never tell anyone his story to harm him. But we have an agreement that if I or him are acting out of character or hurting ourselves that we will reach out to those closest to us and explain, so that we can get help. Amara and I don't speak anymore because she knows I blame her for what happened." Sarah looked up at Gray with sad eyes, "perhaps now that you know what he went through you can help him. He really cares for you, more than you know."
Before Gray could ask what she meant Happy and Natsu came in the front door, holding up a basket full of different fish. "Shit Sarah I forgot how good the lakes are around here since no one ventures this far into the forest! What do you say I cook some of these up for us, it's about lunch time now!"
Gray looked up at Natsu and saw the biggest grin on his face. He replayed what he was told and for the first time he could actually tell that Natsu's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Sarah stood and walked over to him and replied "Sure Natsu baby, your cooking supplies are still out back in the shed, why don't you get the fire started and we will meet you boys out there?"
Natsu took off out back without another word. Already you could hear him and Happy singing about how much fish they were going to eat.
Gray was about to head out and join them when he realized he did in fact have a question. He knows that Sarah said she wouldn't answer any but he had to know. "What do you mean when you say Natsu cares for me more than I realize? I know you said no questions, but he said something the other night that really confused me, Natsu doesn't have feelings for me...does he?"
Instead of answering she shot him a sad smile and walked outside joining Natsu and Happy by the fire. Gray stayed rooted in his spot, watching as she walked over to Natsu and wrapped an arm around the dragon slayers waist. He couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as Natsu smiled down at her and kissed her on her forehead before watching Happy roast some of the fish for their lunch. It just looked so natural. Who would have thought that Natsu, brave little Natsu who was always fighting other peoples battles would in reality be so broken. He was quick to stand up for any friend, or lend a helping hand. He was fiercely protective of anyone he cared about, especially if he considered them family.
The ice mage could remember countless times he stood up for him, hell even Erza, and all that time he was fighting some dark demons that virtually no one knew about. It made him look at Natsu in a brand new light, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Sighing he decided to join in, his thoughts still going crazy, he would just have to wait to get Natsu alone and ask him about it then.